MY BOYFRIEND IS HAIRY?

quickylicky

My boyfriend is VERY hairy and its a real turn-OFF i was wondering have any of ye got any tips on how i could tell him 2 get rid without hurting his feelings???:eek:

shapez

Where exactly? All over of just a particular area?

Vyse

Well if it's bothering you so much you should just break up with him. I can't see the difference between this and asking a girl to lose weight.

quickylicky

Its EVERYWHERE....ALL OVER!

I dont mean to sound "weird" but i have considered... gettin a bottle of wine and perhaps suggesting that we mess around with the wax?? would this be mad??

I wouldnt ask him to do it just like you wouldnt ask a woman do lose weight, i just thought some gentle hints might help!

shellyboo

There's no way of telling him without hurting his feelings... and it's only hair. You should be able to look past it, methinks, and if you can't... well, break up with him. You have no right to dictate his appearance.

quickylicky

shellyboo wrote: »

There's no way of telling him without hurting his feelings... and it's only hair. You should be able to look past it, methinks, and if you can't... well, break up with him. You have no right to dictate his appearance.

I Could never even think about breaking up with him i love him to bits. hes always been hairy but its got SO bad. i dont mean to be harse but if i cant dictate what he look likes, then who can? i dont think it would hurt him to much he would see in time i did it for his own good, wouldnt he?:o

Kipperhell

Vyse wrote: »

Well if it's bothering you so much you should just break up with him. I can't see the difference between this and asking a girl to lose weight.

I think there is a difference as what you eat contributes to your weight while removal of hair is an action and you can't really control where the hair grows.

Any suggestion of manipulation such as getting him drunk and then getting him to try waxing is not an adult way to deal with it. You either tell him or learn to not let it bother you. The chances are he wants to look attractive to you and if you at least approach it gentley you should be alright.

Maybe ask him what he would like you to change to start the conversation off?

A friend's wife asked him to wax his back and he was not particularly bothered or offended and did it. The only problem was when he mentioned it to one friend he pointed out that the wife actually looked strange because she plucked and waxed so much. Once that was said he realised everybody thought she looked odd having barely any eyebrows left and a very shiny upper lip and arms. It then seemed obvious she had a problem with hair to an unhealthy level.

OP are you sure you aren't the one with the issue rather than your BF being actually very hairy

Wurly

quickylicky wrote: »

I Could never even think about breaking up with him i love him to bits. hes always been hairy but its got SO bad. i dont mean to be harse but if i cant dictate what he look likes, then who can? i dont think it would hurt him to much he would see in time i did it for his own good, wouldnt he?:o

But that is the point - no one should 'dictate' what he looks like.

If you love him to bits as you say, then you love him for who he is and what he looks like. None of us are perfect.

It's only hair. You are choosing to look upon it as a bad thing. You could choose to find it sexy or manly if you really wanted.

Irregardless, it's part of him and he shouldn't be made get rid of it. Perhaps he's happy the way he is, or is that not important to you?

Beruthiel

quickylicky wrote: »

My boyfriend is VERY hairy and its a real turn-OFF i was wondering have any of ye got any tips on how i could tell him 2 get rid without hurting his feelings???:eek:

Are you mature enough to be in a relationship?
I mean seriously, if it's such a turn off, why is he your b/f exactly?
It is such a superficial thing.
You have no right, or business, telling him how he should look.
Dump him so he can find someone who cares for him as he is.

quickylicky

I can reassure you i have not got any "unhealthy" obsession with hair!

It would be a waste of time asking him what he would want me to change because, well, to be blunt theres nothing he could possible want me to change about me.

however, thank you for your help.

LegacyUser

Not sure why you want your man smooth like a woman? I guess that's your personal taste...bit metrosexual for me! Sounds like you have just gone off him and should free him up as the attraction is gone..hair on a man is very normal BTW and as they get older they tend to get even hairer!
It's like someone said about a girlfriend losing weight..you love the package and his hair is just part of him.
Is your appearance perfect? Are you a size 10 model?

quickylicky

Beruthiel wrote: »

Are you mature enough to be in a relationship?
I mean seriously, if it's such a turn off, why is he your b/f exactly?
It is such a superficial thing.
You have no right, or business, telling him how he should look.
Dump him so he can find someone who cares for him as he is.

I have been with this man for over 2 years so yes i can assure you i am perfectly mature enough to be in this relationship. the hair is a turn off, the man himself is not.i am his girlfriend, as i stated before if i dont have the right or if its not my business then whos is it?? i care perfectly well for him that is why i care for his appearance.

quickylicky

Trí wrote: »

But that is the point - no one should 'dictate' what he looks like.

If you love him to bits as you say, then you love him for who he is and what he looks like. None of us are perfect.

It's only hair. You are choosing to look upon it as a bad thing. You could choose to find it sexy or manly if you really wanted.

Irregardless, it's part of him and he shouldn't be made get rid of it. Perhaps he's happy the way he is, or is that not important to you?

That is easy for you to say, you havent seen it. there is no way to turn it into a good thing. believe me iv tried. its not just appearance, its causing "other" problems.

m'lady

Perhaps he'd want to change your attitude towards him OP? Im sure he would be extremely hurt and offended reading what you have said in this thread, and be so cocky to say that there is nothing he'd change about you?!?

ManOfMystery

quickylicky wrote: »

Its EVERYWHERE....ALL OVER!

I dont mean to sound "weird" but i have considered... gettin a bottle of wine and perhaps suggesting that we mess around with the wax?? would this be mad??

And what are you going to do when it all grows back in 1-2 months ............. get him drunk again and accidentally wax it all off again???

If you can't stand the guy being hairy, there's only one way around it - tell him. Don't expect him not to end up insecure about it though.

Otherwise, live with it

shellyboo

quickylicky wrote: »

I Could never even think about breaking up with him i love him to bits. hes always been hairy but its got SO bad. i dont mean to be harse but if i cant dictate what he look likes, then who can? i dont think it would hurt him to much he would see in time i did it for his own good, wouldnt he?:o

It's not for his good, it's for your good. Let's be honest. And nobody gets to dictate what he looks like except for him.

quickylicky wrote: »

It would be a waste of time asking him what he would want me to change because, well, to be blunt theres nothing he could possible want me to change about me.

I'd say he might want to change your selfish and shallow attitude towards his body hair if he knew about it.

LegacyUser

Lest this thread is making anyone feel bad about themselves I just want to point out that there's nowt wrong with a hairy man. alot of women find it verrry sexy... so there.

Tbh- it sounds like you're simply not attracted to him anymore. Did his hairiness always cause "other" problems and if not then what has changed? he may well you to get on your bike if you start trying to get him to change and he'd be right.

quickylicky

shellyboo wrote: »

It's not for his good, it's for your good. Let's be honest. And nobody gets to dictate what he looks like except for him.



I'd say he might want to change your selfish and shallow attitude towards his body hair if he knew about it.

I am not selfish or shallow, iv just put up with it for long enough. dont get me wrong he is a fab boyfriend but if you had a gf/bf who all of a sudden just start sprouting out hair EVERYWHERE what exactly would you do about it??? And yes i would prefer it if there was less hair but its for his good too.

the reason i wrote today is because i had thought i might do the "wine &wax" tonight... because my friends from back home are comin up and well, i thought it would be better if ...ya know! but im startin to have second thoughts.

shellyboo

quickylicky wrote: »

I am not selfish or shallow, iv just put up with it for long enough. dont get me wrong he is a fab boyfriend but if you had a gf/bf who all of a sudden just start sprouting out hair EVERYWHERE what exactly would you do about it??? And yes i would prefer it if there was less hair but its for his good too.

the reason i wrote today is because i had thought i might do the "wine &wax" tonight... because my friends from back home are comin up and well, i thought it would be better if ...ya know! but im startin to have second thoughts.

You've "put up with it" for long enough? That's really horrible. It's just hair. I've been with hairy blokes before, yeah it's not the most attractive look, but I learned to love it as being a part of my man.

Please explain to me how it's for his good in any way, shape or form, that you wax him.

Also, I'd *love* to hear what your friends from home have to do with it.

Beruthiel

quickylicky wrote: »

i care perfectly well for him that is why i care for his appearance.

No.
You care about how he looks, in your opinion.
Obviously he's happy with his appearence.
This is about you and your perceptions.
Accept that fact.
Frankly I'm appalled at your attitude.
I have no idea why you are with him for two years if he is so unattractive to you.
btw - my bloke would be classed as hairy by many. It bothers me not, at least he looks like a man.
But then, I didn't decide to be with him because of his hair, or the lack there of.

ManOfMystery

Does your bf have any issues with his hair? If not, then leave him alone.

Kipperhell

quickylicky wrote: »

I can reassure you i have not got any "unhealthy" obsession with hair!

It would be a waste of time asking him what he would want me to change because, well, to be blunt theres nothing he could possible want me to change about me.

however, thank you for your help.

WOW!

Perfection is really dull to many people. I am assuming you are joking because if not you certainly not perfect. Secretly finding him unattractive would be something he might want to change. My wife's friend didn't believe she had a problem either for quite a while either.

So your only option is to talk to him like an adult but being perfect you know that:P

Penn

So you would prefer to have him waxed all over before your friends come up? I'm hoping that when your friends walk in the door that your boyfriend will be wearing clothes.

I really don't see the problem here. You have a 'fab' boyfriend, one who probably 'wouldn't change a thing about you'. You're beyond lucky.

You get him drunk and suggest waxing him? What if he still says no? What if he wants to stop halfway through? What if he regrets it the next morning and feels depressed? What if he lets it grow back?

You're talking about changing a fundamental part of his body. It may be just hair, but waxing it off will completely change how his body looks, and if it isn't a fully concious decision, he may even resent you for it. Hair growing back can be very uncomfortable, and could even cause ingrown hairs. Plus, if he's as hairy as you say it is, waxing could be very painful.

If you love him as much as you say you do, then just deal with it. You're focusing on it so much that you're making it into a bigger issue than it needs to be. Everyone has their flaws. Everyone

quickylicky

Ok Guys. You've helped me see how nasty of me it is to question my boyfriends look, when i look back on the thread i was like thats not who i am or who i want to be more to the piont.

i diffently reconsidered the "wine &Wax". Aw i feel so daft and mean.

thanks for all your help x

Beruthiel

Ah fantastic. You got it!

Embrace his manliness!

shellyboo

Beruthiel wrote: »

Ah fantastic. You got it!

Embrace his manliness!

Woohoo! Hairy dudes ftw.

John Mason

why dont you play a little game with him where you both get to tell each what you hate about the other person and can no longer live with until it has been changed/removed.

you can tell him you hate his hair and he can tell you that he hates your weight/hair/personality - whatever it is and then you can both be upset and miserable and realise that if you dont love each other warts and all there is not point in being together

Taltos

Just to make things interesting.

I am one of those OHs who might be considered hairy.
My OH though like the OP here just hates hair - bit of an issue there.

However she did raise this with me a few mts into our relationship - ok well over a year into it. In consideration of her feelings I have tried different methods of removal (stay away from wine and immac) - and while the initial pain is fleeting it is the later issues I have a bigger problem with, ingrown hairs, spots, blocked pores etc - more hair you have to remove more surface area you have to manage and you cannot see it all....

So right now I am back to where I was. (phew)
She is still with me.
And we both know how the other feel.
Upside - there are certain areas where male grooming might be appropriate.
& it has reinforced for us that we need to be open and honest with each other.
p.s. she still hates my hair. but hey - it is only hair and she loves me despite it.

MyPeopleDrankTheSoup

Just ask him you want it gone and see what he says, he might do it. I wouldn't mind if an otherhalf said that to me, or even to lose weight, anything I can control. Wouldn't and shouldn't hurt his feelings.

Just don't question size of his appendage and other **** he can't control. Everything else is fair game.

Nervous Wreck

I'm pretty hairy. My ex once said to me "You should shave your chest, it'd show off your muscles better." I got her hint. I replied "I ain't shavin' no chest, you crazy b1tch!" She got my hint.

Liam Byrne

quickylicky wrote: »

to be blunt theres nothing he could possible want me to change about me.

I was with you on your dilemma until I read that! :rolleyes:

EVERYONE has little things that - if asked - they'd like to change about someone (and based on what you said above, it might be ego/attitude) but when you love someone you can overlook them.

modest_marie

I don't believe this.
Surely he had hair when you met him first?

I would say something if perhaps he was wearing a jumper that you didn't particurlarly like, and you asked him to change it.
But... this is the way he is. It's part of him. He can't do anything about it.

Men don't wax. That's just not the way things are!

You need to really think. Number 1 you can't dictate to anybody how they look, number 2 maybe he likes being hairy. That's what makes them feel manly!

When you love someone you don't notice bad/annoying things about them. They just become part of the person that you love, and without those things, they wouldn't be that person. They would just be the person you've changed them into to suit you! And that would not end up a happy story.

Taltos

sunflower27 wrote: »

You reckon... I've loved boyfriends, but not their snoring!

That's not snoring - it's us telling our OHs we love em - over and over...
Snoring is a modern fallacy - just like there are no crocs in the sewers... there are you know - I saw em...

modest_marie

sunflower27 wrote: »

You reckon... I've loved boyfriends, but not their snoring!

Rolling them out onto the floor usually sorts that out! Then you can get back to loving them again in peace!

Seriously, I do think that you love someone annoying things and all. I would be worried if there were things about my current boyfriend that I wanted to change. I would most likely leave him.

RossFixxxed

Lord only knows what annoys him about you, like that ridiculous ego...

Just talk to the guy, if you are THAT mature then you should have a chat, like grown ups rather than some drunken wax rape.

Kipperhell

sunflower27 wrote: »

I just accepted it after that. It really wasn't that big a deal.... especially when his pain threshold was so low

Girls may be accepting of the pain partially down to the fact they don't get hair removed in the same places. Yes a bikini wax will be sore but longer hairs are worse to remove as I would suspect his hairs would have been. On a repeat attempt it is less painful as the hairs are shorter. One of the most painful hairs to get pulled out is a beard hair. Hair removed from your leg is a lot less painful then your back and I speak from experience.

blackbelt

quickylicky wrote: »

I can reassure you i have not got any "unhealthy" obsession with hair!

It would be a waste of time asking him what he would want me to change because, well, to be blunt theres nothing he could possible want me to change about me.

however, thank you for your help.

Are you so sure?Chances are,he probably thinks there is nothing you could possibly ask him to change about himself.

Are you so sure he wouldn't like you to pluck your eyebrows,shave your intimate parts,get a breast enlargement,lose weight,cut your toenails,brush your teeth??

wylo

I think people should go easy on the OP, he might be oblivious that it turns her off, maybe he wouldnt care if he shaved it or not. Theres nothing wrong with making an effort for your OH.

I wouldnt be comparing it to asking an OH to lose weight. Everyone knows that a bit of hair on the shoulders and back is often (not always I know) a turn off so why not just say it to him OP, if hes reluctant then leave him off, but he might be completely indifferent about it and go ahead with it.

Penn

wylo wrote: »

I think people should go easy on the OP, he might be oblivious that it turns her off, maybe he wouldnt care if he shaved it or not. Theres nothing wrong with making an effort for your OH.

I wouldnt be comparing it to asking an OH to lose weight. Everyone knows that a bit of hair on the shoulders and back is often (not always I know) a turn off so why not just say it to him OP, if hes reluctant then leave him off, but he might be completely indifferent about it and go ahead with it.

Yeah, but there's a huge difference between asking someone to shave it off, and getting them so drunk that they agree to let you wax them

quickylicky

Hi all, just a little update for ye. guys from home came up last night and we all got drinking. subject came up. so i mentioned if i wanted him to shave/wax all of would he? he said no problem. he thought it was quiet funny so the "wax and wine" came into action... but now hes as bald as a **** and to be honest guys. well i think i prefered him hairierhes al red and spotty.

RossFixxxed

Well that worked. Trying to change him is probably a bad idea tbh. Ask him what he wants to change about you. Other than banning you from being near wax!

quickylicky

RossFixxxed wrote: »

Well that worked. Trying to change him is probably a bad idea tbh. Ask him what he wants to change about you. Other than banning you from being near wax!

after i told him that i thought maybe he should "trim" a little. i asked him, i took ye're advice and said what do you want me to change... he said, "nothing honey, your perfect" i feel so bad now:o:o

RossFixxxed

Fair play to him, now that's a guilt trip! Lesson learned I guess. The ingrowing hairs will be a bloody nightmare!

LegacyUser

ok i still don't see what your friends have to do with it ?

The other thing I don't get is that he suddenly grew hair ? Thats sounds lie either he was grooming it and stopped, he's still in puberty, or maybe something medical. I mean hair spreads slowly, but not suddenly so far as i know.

but i do think you've all been kind of hard on OP. I am hairy bloke and I HATE it. Always have. I wouldn't mind a bit of it, but mine is to the stage where people comment on it if i have a shirt button open. To be honest I don't quite have it in me to get rid of it off my on bat, so would be quite happy for GF to ask me to do it to give me the excuse (this is of course primarily so if anyone noticed i can say my bird told me to do so that then i look less of a girl!). That and I'm not entirely sure where to get it removed - i mean where to stop!

studiorat

quickylicky wrote: »

Hi all, just a little update for ye. guys from home came up last night and we all got drinking. subject came up. so i mentioned if i wanted him to shave/wax all of would he? he said no problem. he thought it was quiet funny so the "wax and wine" came into action... but now hes as bald as a **** and to be honest guys. well i think i prefered him hairierhes al red and spotty.

I hope this doesn't go against the charter but that post genuinely made me laugh out loud... Thanks for making my morning. Happy ending!

-Hairy Bloke.

ps. hair growing back twice as thick is only an urban myth. (i think!)

ManOfMystery

The redness and spots will fade over next few days, I've had my back waxed before and it was the same.

quickylicky

hairyguy wrote: »

ok i still don't see what your friends have to do with it ?

The other thing I don't get is that he suddenly grew hair ? Thats sounds lie either he was grooming it and stopped, he's still in puberty, or maybe something medical. I mean hair spreads slowly, but not suddenly so far as i know.

but i do think you've all been kind of hard on OP. I am hairy bloke and I HATE it. Always have. I wouldn't mind a bit of it, but mine is to the stage where people comment on it if i have a shirt button open. To be honest I don't quite have it in me to get rid of it off my on bat, so would be quite happy for GF to ask me to do it to give me the excuse (this is of course primarily so if anyone noticed i can say my bird told me to do so that then i look less of a girl!). That and I'm not entirely sure where to get it removed - i mean where to stop!

I dont mean that one day he was bald and the next he was covered in hair... always had hair just never this much! anyway i know now i was just been silly! Men all have hair...no more shavin/waxin!!:p

tman

quickylicky wrote: »

i dont mean to be harse but if i cant dictate what he look likes, then who can?

Erm... That's a tough one... Hmmm...
Just a thought, but perhaps HE is the only one who can dictate what he looks like.

Fair play to him for going along with you, I would've told my girlfriend where to stick it if she asked me to change any part of my appearance just for her!

opinion guy

tman wrote: »

Erm... That's a tough one... Hmmm...
Just a thought, but perhaps HE is the only one who can dictate what he looks like.

Fair play to him for going along with you, I would've told my girlfriend where to stick it if she asked me to change any part of my appearance just for her!

See I don't get your attitude. Why would you not want to appear more attractive to your woman ? I mean I personally wound;t have a problem with it so long as it was approached sensitively - i.e. not sometihng like 'eh Jabba ate all the pies eh?'.

wylo

quickylicky wrote: »

he said, "nothing honey, your perfect" i feel so bad now:o:o

I like him, hes good;)

wexford202

quickylicky wrote: »

Hi all, just a little update for ye. guys from home came up last night and we all got drinking. subject came up. so i mentioned if i wanted him to shave/wax all of would he? he said no problem. he thought it was quiet funny so the "wax and wine" came into action... but now hes as bald as a **** and to be honest guys. well i think i prefered him hairierhes al red and spotty.

It is pure torture for a guy. Wait till he gets loads of ingrown hairs! I'd make you pop them all out for making him wax!

You def perfer him hairer then.