Dealing with feeders while on a diet

Lux23

I would like to get some advice on this.

I have a few people in my life especially in work who cannot get it into their head that I am dieting and avoiding chocolate/crisps for the forseeable future. Don't get me wrong they are lovely people but they get so offended when I say I can't eat any sweet things at the moment as I am trying to lose weight.

One woman I work with has a Friday tradition of buying us all something nice from Insomnia or Butlers which is lovely but I would like to say to her to leave me out for now but she insists on getting me something which i have to pretend to eat. Even the yogurt things are too calorie laden for my diet and would mess up my eating plan for the day.

How does everyone else deal with this?

Mr Magnolia

Just say something like 'thanks a million but I'm a bit full after my lunch. I'll keep it and have it in the afternoon with a cup of scald'.

corkcomp

Losingit wrote: »

I would like to get some advice on this.

I have a few people in my life especially in work who cannot get it into their head that I am dieting and avoiding chocolate/crisps for the forseeable future. Don't get me wrong they are lovely people but they get so offended when I say I can't eat any sweet things at the moment as I am trying to lose weight.

One woman I work with has a Friday tradition of buying us all something nice from Insomnia or Butlers which is lovely but I would like to say to her to leave me out for now but she insists on getting me something which i have to pretend to eat. Even the yogurt things are too calorie laden for my diet and would mess up my eating plan for the day.

How does everyone else deal with this?

it IS ok to go mad ocasionally but I know what you mean about the people who "insist" .. are they genuinely buying that stuff to be nice or are they pissed of that you have the willpower to avoid it? either way i would firmly say, thanks but no thanks ..

Lux23

corkcomp wrote: »

it IS ok to go mad ocasionally but I know what you mean about the people who "insist" .. are they genuinely buying that stuff to be nice or are they pissed of that you have the willpower to avoid it? either way i would firmly say, thanks but no thanks ..

I find though if I stay away from sweet things after a week or so I no longer crave them and can do without. I feel like such an ungrateful cow if I say no so I generally accept it and give it to one of the lads later.

I also hate going to dinner parties as normally what is served for the main course would be an entire day's worth of food, its just a minefield saying no to some people.

neuro-praxis

I point blank refuse those kinds of things - milky coffees, pastries, sweets etc. I used to accept them out of pressure, but don't anymore.

My good friends know I am losing weight so if they invite me over for dinner I ask can they prepare something lighter on the calories. They are usually delighted to do it, and some see it as a challenge. Dinner usually ends up being something delicious, like a buffet where I can load up on salad and meats, or a soup followed by a roast meal with lots of fresh veg, with fruit-based things for dessert - ice cream optional!

However there are the nights when it's much harder. I was invited to dinner by some German friends recently with my husband. They are both fit and healthy. I asked them would they mind serving up something that wasn't too calorie-laden as I am trying to shift weight. They said no problem, then served up a fried cheese starter, a main meal of pan-fried cod, lashed in olive oil, with tomato salad, lashed in olive oil, and cubes of bread fried in olive oil and herbs! Could you have a less healthy carb accompaniment? That's worse than chips. Dessert was a large glass per person of basically cherry compote, chocolate and cream.

I refused dessert, and the female friend begged me to eat it, as she had been cooking all day. What can you do? I eventually ate it. As a result, I was unable to have a treat that week, as I had been in a situation where I had to eat someone else's "treat". They meant well but it was unhelpful.

So in summation I sympathise. Hold back some calories in advance of special events, refuse junk where possible, and otherwise don't worry about it. After all, it's not the odd meal that made us fat, it was eating rubbish day in day out.

BanzaiBk

I just rationalise it in my head; do I really want to put those kind of things in my body?, and then I usually politely refuse. Couldn't care less about what other people eat around me tbh.

LimeFruitGum

OP, I hear ya!

One colleague is a petite size 8-10 and is always bringing in muffins and chocolates for everyone. But she won't force you if you don't want it or trying to be good.

Work lay on ice-cream or chocolates once a week as well, and man, I really do look forward to it. In fairness, I don't keep chocs or crisps at home so I don't see the harm in 1 bar a week.

It is hard, the "feeders" are only trying to do something nice for their colleagues and they mean well. But I can't see any other way out than to stick to your guns and say nicely "please don't get me anything" until the message sinks in. You can still have a cup of tea while they're tucking in.

tscul32

I hate the phrases 'but sure it's only a small slice', 'surely one biscuit won't kill you', etc.. No, one biscuit won't kill me, but you want me to have just one and then I'll go to the inlaws and they'll expect me to have just one, and then I'm meeting a friend and she'll expect me to have just one....

If it's the only treat you'll have all week then grand but people only see the situation you're in right in that moment and don't really think that you may have a meal out planned as your treat that week or that bar of choc you've been saving for your dvd that night, which you won't be able to have if you accept what's on offer now. I do think though that it's a bit unfair of people to make you feel like you've offended them when they know you're trying hard to do soemthing good for yourself.

El_Dangeroso

I find made-up allergies quite handy with people you don't know. Hard to keep track of it what you said to whom though!

rubadub

Temple_Grandin wrote: »

I find made-up allergies quite handy with people you don't know. Hard to keep track of it what you said to whom though!

Yes, I was going to say a white lie will do no real harm, to them or your belly! you could say you are allergic as above, or avoiding foods as an ongoing allergy testing. Or that you are on some medication or vitamins that must be taken at specific times on an empty stomach, so you could politely refuse meals easier, esp. ones people have prepared you could say "it looks lovely but I have to have to take my pills at 5", they might give you some to take which you can give to somebody else.

I would not go overboard though, somebody was talking about saying about lying about being a diabetic in another thread before which would be a no-no in a job situation, you could not foretell any repercussions. The more benign the "problem" the better, like vitamins or that your "skin breaks out" if you eat x, y, z.

You could say you just ate, or are having a huge meal later and need to leave room. Or are going to see the doctor and have to avoid certain foods before the visit.

lizzyvera

I had this problem all summer and didn't know what to do. I have a smallish appetite, so if I ate cake and sweets after lunch I would barely be able to eat dinner. I really ran myself down. Sweets are so bad for you if you don't have a big appetite!

Make up a medical reason and just keep refusing. I have a friend who eats no sweets at all. After a while knowing her people gradually stopped offering her sweets and apologed if they accidentally did.

Meanwhile, why not give them to a homeless person on the way home? In secondary school after bake sales if there were left overs we used to do that. It's a bit embarrassing but most people appreciate it.

Btw, O' Brien's small latte is only 100kcal surprisingly.

Naos

Hang on here, why should you have to come up with an excuse because you're trying to lose weight?

Do as you're doing - explain to them again and again until the get the message, that you appreciate the thought, however it is making your task of losing weight very difficult.

They should soon stop and if they don't, reaffirm the appreciation but decline the sweets, again insisting that a bit of support for your goal is required.

By doing this, not only will you not be lying to others, but people may see the changes in you weight wise and pass positive comments on it, thus boosting your confidence and belief that it's worthwhile, making it easier for you to stick to your diet.

Best of luck with it.