Need Advice!!

D.Q

If you could give your child(your real child or for the youthful ones, future child) one piece of advice, one pearl of wisdom that they could live their life by, what would it be?

Royale with Cheese

Don't do an Arts degree.

netwhizkid

Go to the other School in town, don't listen to your mother.

Schism

Wear sunscreen.

K4t

Don't ask for advice on the internet. Especially AH.

Kold

Be objective.

magicianz

Dont eat yellow snow.

Biggins

NEVER judge a book by its cover.

SRFC90

I always advise people never to give advice.

orestes

Advice given to me on my 18th birthday by my father:

Always make sure there is a shower-mat in your shower. I was shagging your mother in there once and nearly slipped and killed myself. Happy birthday.

Thanks dad :mad:

JONJO THE MISER

Advice him/her to do whatever he feels he is good at or whatever he feels he would like to do whithin reason, dont trap him into something just because you feel its the best for him , let him be free.

anonymous_joe

From my old man;

'Never, ever, ever get a girl pregnant. But if you, make sure she's richer than you.'

K4t

magicianz wrote: »

Don't eat yellow snow.

Don't swallow.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Do what you want to do in life, don't listen to anybody when it comes to what you want to become. They may think it's best for you, but only you know what's best for you.

CutzEr

magicianz wrote: »

Dont eat yellow snow.

But what if it's beer?

ctrl-alt-delete

If you're not 1st you're last.

Baraboo

When observing the behavior of large groups of people, Never rule out stupidity.

orestes

Baraboo wrote: »

When observing the behavior of large groups of people, Never rule out stupidity.

This works with individual people too

Remmy

Dont let anyone tell you your goals arent achievable.Only you know if you can achieve them.Noone else.

DanGerMus

Get out while you still can!

Adamisconfused

Never vote for Fianna Fáil.

Jesus Wept

ALWAYS judge books by their covers, saves time.

Sharpshooter

Make sure the last word you leave to your parents is a nice one, every time you speak.

Alexl

If you're going on holidays, dont bring back a foreign girlfriend,baby or disease!

Professey Chin

Bend over

martyboy48

Throw the first punch

Kold

orestes wrote: »

Advice given to me on my 18th birthday by my father:

Always make sure there is a shower-mat in your shower. I was shagging your mother in there once and nearly slipped and killed myself. Happy birthday.

Thanks dad :mad:

Haha, my mate's Dad once said, "Seb would've been taller except I pulled out early. Best part of him ran down her leg."

Seloth

Adamisconfused wrote: »

Never vote for Fianna Fáil.

Things can change to worst,but it dosent mean the worst cant change back.:p

kumate_champ07

Biggins wrote: »

NEVER judge a book by its cover.

shouldnt that be 'never judge a website by its header'?
kids wont know what books are in the future

kumate_champ07

If you're snookered on the pink, aim for the brown

SV

Do whatever you want to do. You might regret it after, you might not. However, it's ALWAYS better to regret having done something than not having done it.
Oh and nothing is out of your reach, despite what people try and tell you.

flanum

Dont follow the OP to the wonderland... hes a dirty kidnapping paedophile ****... jaycee... jaycee???

oops sorry, what was the qusetion?

flanum

DieselQueen wrote: »

If you could give your child(your real child or for the youthful ones, future child) one piece of advice, one pearl of wisdom that they could live their life by, what would it be?

never ever ever trust a family member that sddenly decides to join the guards!!

LadyJ

Buy the Tesco chocolate puddings instead of the M&S ones. They're exactly the same except cheaper. Oh and never go to mass because you'll probably have inherited the gene for bursting your hole laughing when people are silent and when you try to do it quietly you'll just start shaking and then everyone in the whole row will know you're laughing because you'll shake so hard that the bench will move too....

In short, be an atheist and learn when to spot a bargain.

flanum

Dont let "flanum" near the pc, cos hes langers and gonna be writin stuff in loads of forums when he should actually be asleep... the bollox!

In All Fairness

"To thine own self be true" - Shakespeare

orestes

In All Fairness wrote: »

"To thine own self be true" - Shakespeare

Was waiting for someone to say that.

Look thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportion'd thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledg’d comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel but, being in,
Bear't that th' opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgement.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man;
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous chief in that.
Neither a borrower, nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.



Ah and what the hell, while we're on the quoting the fancy stuff:



IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

-Kipling

Pygmalion

This board in the floor is loose, you can hide stuff in there, your mother knows nothing about it.
This way you don't get in trouble for drinking, ****ing and smoking weed, and I don't have to waste my time punishing you.

Pygmalion

Double

In All Fairness

orestes wrote: »

Was waiting for someone to say that.

Look thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportion'd thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledg’d comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel but, being in,
Bear't that th' opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgement.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man;
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous chief in that.
Neither a borrower, nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.



Ah and what the hell, while we're on the quoting the fancy stuff:



IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

-Kipling

Legend mate. If I could only advise my child to read two things, it would be those two passages.

minidazzler

Either

If you can't lift her you may as well shift her.

Or

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhG8E2M4-DI

Cookie Jar

The grass is always appears greener on the other side!!!

minidazzler

Cookie Jar wrote: »

The grass is always greener on the other side!!!

I think that should be ammended.

The Grass always APPEARS Greener on the other side.

pikachucheeks

Make sure you're passionate about things in life.

Trankton

If you're not living life on the edge...you're taking up too much room!!!

Worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but gets you no-where!!

Cookie Jar

minidazzler wrote: »

I think that should be ammended.

The Grass always APPEARS Greener on the other side.

From my side its always is greener on the other side:pac:*




*edited

humanji

Don't pick at it, it really does make it worse.

cruiser178

Pay the woman or leave the bed..

Canis Lupus

Don't start playing computer games.

El Siglo

"Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe."

deadhead13

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5NAPZp2w-o