Sex education

Orla K

I don't know what made me think about this. I suppose it was trying to book an appointment for a smear test (I'm going wait about just over a month so I can get it free) but, that's something I only learned to do as an adult, they were never mentioned in school. It got me thinking what did they tell us.

They started sex education in primary school. It wasn't really sex education since I went a school run by the nuns. We were in 5th or 6th class at the time and telling us about periods and not to be afraid of it we weren't going to bleed to death but, half of us had started them already. Other than that it was "If you have sex your a bold girl" (exact words) and something about boys being bold. Fair enough we were quite young at the time but still sex=being bold:rolleyes:

In secondary school it got a little better but they had sex education every two years so I was in 2nd year by the time that happened and someone in the class was already pregnant! At that stage I had already found out most of what I needed to know from magazines of all things but, it wasn't that bad my aunt had a newsagents and she was the one who gave me the magazines, she checked them first of course she was a nurse for years too and when I read them we talked about it. So I already knew the different contraceptives and a few STDs so it was just a rehash of what I knew but thinking about it they(school) didn't go into the emotional side of sex where as the magazines did, they talked about boyfriends, love and feeling ready where as the school talked about babies, sex, what happens physically and how wrong it is to have abortions.

So over the next few years some more girls in the year fell pregnant, some keep them others don't stay pregnant long, most of us didn't have children but the few years after we left a load of ones that I went to school with had children now I would say it must be at least half and I don't come from a bad area, it's not a good area either.

Myself over the years have gained some more knowledge of STD/STIs. I found a guy that was great and had sex with him (nowhere near enough times) I will admit sometimes we got caught up in the moment and were somewhat careless but thank god for the morning after pill. I couldn't stay on the normal pill because I started getting chest pains with it so we used condoms (most of the time). He was my first love and first sexual partner and pretty much the only one in both cases. So even with what I see as poor sex education (my aunt was great but very old fashioned) I turned out alright (in that area at least) but, others in my class didn't fair as well and are single mothers some with multiple children others were lucky in that they have a child and the father stayed with them some even married.

I'm just wondering how other people got on in this area, what kind if sex education did you have? or did you even get any?

I've probably been thinking about the underage and pregnant thread too.

Nevyn

There was a program put together by the crises pregnancy agency with booklets and a dvd but it can not be distributed to and via most schools due to the ethos of the schools.
Same wtih those produced by the ifpa.

http://www.crisispregnancy.ie/parentresource.html
http://www.ifpa.ie/eng/Education-Training/Education-and-Training-Resources/Sex-Education-Comic-Style-Booklets

We don't have a comprehensive health based sex and sexualit program and we are failing young people as a result.

I got the very basics from my parents and then as it was still considered a taboo subject read as much as I could get my hands on as a teen, these days there is the internet and a lot of information but thats not good enough,

Other countries have modules on this as part of the standard circiculm and students have to take exams in it. As things stand it's far to slip shod it not getting the investiment or promotion needed.

http://www.sexualhealthcentre.com/

SeekUp

I actually got halfway decent sex education, basic as it was. When I was 11, the girls and boys got split into two classes for it, and we have to have our parents sign a permission slip (they didn't have to if they didn't want their children to be in the class). That was pretty much teaching about basic anatomy, what menstruation is, and how fertilization happens. I also remember being briefed on the various methods of birth control.

Then when I was 12, part of health class covered STIs (STDs back then!), symptoms, treatments, etc.

I think it was pretty thorough for a public school.

m'lady

While my parents were very open minded and would answer any question I had, I think Judy Blume's, 'Forever' will stick in alot of womens minds as to how they learnt a little about boys!

SeekUp

m'lady wrote: »

While my parents were very open minded and would answer any question I had, I think Judy Blume's, 'Forever' while stick in alot of womens minds as to how they learnt a little about boys!

Judy Blume was fantastic on many levels . . . Definitely remember devouring 'Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret.'

m'lady

I recently bought a copy to bring me happy memories! Cant remember the one you mentioned though, just remembering 'Ralph' in the book, the name which they called his penis!

Orla K

m'lady wrote: »

While my parents were very open minded and would answer any question I had, I think Judy Blume's, 'Forever' will stick in alot of womens minds as to how they learnt a little about boys!

I have no idea who Judy Blume is. I'm going to guess shes an author which would explain why I don't know her. I only got into reading as an adult, a combination of being dyslexic and just not liking children/teen books.

SeekUp

Orla K wrote: »

I have no idea who Judy Blume is. I'm going to guess shes an author which would explain why I don't know her. I only got into reading as an adult, a combination of being dyslexic and just not liking children/teen books.

Yes, she's an author who wrote many books that dealt with various issues during adolescence (and some other themes as well).

metaoblivia

My mother told me about the mechanics of sex when I was 8. When I was 10 and in the 5th grade in an American public school, all of the 5th graders had to watch a video on the mechanics of sex. The boys and girls were split up, and we basically spent the good part of the day listening to a teacher explain puberty, menstruation, sex and various forms of birth control.
In the 8th grade, all of the students had to take a health class for part of the year, and it was explained again, this time with a little more depth and a lot of focus on the different kinds of birth control. We also learned about how to check for breast lumps. The teacher passed around a set of fake boobies and we had to feel them for lumps. It was pretty mortifying at the time - even the boys had to do it. There was a lot of nervous giggling that day.
In high school, health was required again, and we went over it all for a third time, with more details, and the focus was pretty much entirely birth control methods and STD prevention. We even had the banana and the condom.

Interestingly, I only know of one girl in my school who got pregnant as a student. She had gotten pregnant at another school and after she had the baby, she was sent to our school to start fresh. She told everyone that her son was her little brother, and didn't admit to the truth until well after we graduated.

Faith

My mum was very good really. She was always very open with me, and explained about sex at a young age. I had a good understanding of it, and even remember confessing to her that I was scared I wouldn't know what to do when it came to handjobs and things. She was very laid back about it really.

We got fúck all real education in school. A couple of talks about periods, and then the reproductive system in science.

I went on the pill long before I needed to, because I was determined I wasn't getting pregnant! I took into account to risks of getting drunk and stupidly having unprotected sex, [god forbid] getting raped, condoms bursting etc. I wasn't taking any chances. Funnily enough, my mum wasn't pleased when I went on the pill, and thought it might make me promiscuous.

Ickle Magoo

School sex ed was pretty good, graphic and a bit cringy at that age, but informative and non-judgmental.

I got my period when I was nine & my dad was the only one in the house - he sat down & went through it all with me. He wasn't awkward about it so I didn't feel awkward & my folks have always maintained that I can ask them about anything -tho I do remember my mum blushing and telling me she'd get back to me by the end of the day when I asked her to explain masturbation.

My parents have always been pretty open about sex so I don't remember a particular point I learnt about it. Between visiting friends on farms and general info from parents and in school, the mechanics were known from a very early age & the details re humans were filled in as we grew up.

tomcollins97

Sex education should NOT be the responsibility of schools. This is for parents to teach.

I for one do not want any teacher explaining the facts of life to my child.

If you feel waht you got in terms of sex education was not adequate blame your parents and not your school

Ickle Magoo

I'd agree that primarily sex education should be the responsibility of parents but bearing in mind how many parents shirk that duty, I think it's important that children have an adult source of information re sex and associated issues.

Manic Moran

I seem to recall I got one day on the biology of reproduction, and that was about it. In terms of the actual mechanics, that was a semi-embarassing fumbling self-teaching moment, made more tolerable by the fact that my partner had little better idea than I did.

Granted, I bounced around a bit from country to country, so may have simply managed to 'miss' scheduled training.

NTM (Interloper)

K4t

Sex education, didn't get it until fourth year (TY). Was great fun though I must say.

Orla K

tomcollins97 wrote: »

Sex education should NOT be the responsibility of schools. This is for parents to teach.

I for one do not want any teacher explaining the facts of life to my child.

If you feel waht you got in terms of sex education was not adequate blame your parents and not your school

Alright, I wasn't discussing who should be teaching sex education.

And anyway in my case my mother was dead, she told me as much as she could before she died but I was young at the time so it didn't amount to much. My father could only talk about the birds and the bees after a few drinks, which ended in me telling him to go to bed. As I said in the OP my main source of information was from the magazines my aunt provided, she really took on the role of being my mother in many areas. I didn't start this tread to place blame anywhere, I actually think that the people around either did the best they could or what they thought was best. I just wanted to know other peoples experiences.

Dinxminx

My lasting memory of sex ed was the talk about how oral sex is a 'perversion of sexual intercourse' and how (altogether now - it's catchy):

"Mouths are for mouths; genitals are for genitals".

Ginny

I actually can't remember anything of worth being taught in school, luckily my parents were very open with me about sex etc...
They both sat me down at 8/9 and gave me the talk, read numerous books with me and watched and discussed documentaries with me.
I could always ask them any question I wanted and tbh I was quite perplexed in Secondary school when I realised how little some other parents told their daughters.

Apparently some of the women teachers had to fight for sex ed. in our school.
It was an afternoon discussion about periods, when we were 14 or somesuch.
And it was the best in our school district at the time.

Apart from that there was a infamous speech from an elderly nun, about scissors and late term abortions.
Where she broke down in tears....every year.
But nothing judgemental as to sex itself.

In Primary school there were diagrams of reproductive systems passed around.

My Mother and Judy Blume did the rest.
Although I still bear mental scars from the process. ~Helga~ Shudder!!!!

When we left school, I'd say 1/4 of my year were pregnant or just about to be. But frankly where I come from pregnancy is a career option for teens.

Latchy

Moonbaby wrote: »

Although I still bear mental scars from the process. ~Helga~ Shudder!!!!

Helga , the film was also part of us lads sex education at college when I was 14 .You were not hip unless you had seen Helga

( excuse the male intrusion)

grenache

Bar what i learned in biology classes during Science, i received no formal sex ed whatsoever. Is it any wonder then that Limerick City just in the road from me has the highest rate of out of marriage pregnancies?!! :rolleyes:

shellyboo

I got a book left on my bed when I was maybe 11... it was called "Ready, Steady, Grow!"



Written by a nun, of course. Or maybe a priest... anyway, I think I still have it at home. Few days after that, my Mum asked me if I'd read it and asked me if I had any questions. Thinking back on it now, it was actually a great way of doing it, so well done my parents, woo!

In school, we got to see a video when we were in 2nd year... so we were all about 14 at this stage! It was (again) a nun explaining all about the female reproductive system etc... which was pretty pointless at age 14, since we'd all started our periods already no doubt. There was also a section on male anatomy and puberty. The thing that sticks in my mind though was that Unit 4 was the Sexual Intercourse part - and when we got that far, they turned it off!!!

We then had to write questions on pieces of paper and hand them up... of course, practically everyone wrote, "Why can't we watch Unit 4?" :P

cruizer101

Have to say what I got was crap. In primary school the girls got taken out in 5th and 6th class to be told about periods and that, nothing for the boys.

In secondary school it was dealt with a small bit in science and religion but very basic, also that was just a small bit in first year, after that nothing.
Now a hell of lot changes between first year and sixth year of secondary school, but the school seemed to ignore it.

Also in my opinion it is better coming from the school, either through teachers or brought in speakers. For the simple reason it means everyone should be on a level playing field as such.

994

i was in a mixed primary school, and one day the showed us all a video called "Sex Education for Girls" ... apparently boys know it already! It was taught by a weird woman who told us "don't do anything God wouldn't want you to do" which is very open to interpretation...

shivvyban

My primary school was incredibly racist! We were told to never have children with a black man because we wouldn't know what colour our children would and that would bring shame on us and our families and the children would be outcasts! I will never forget that for as long as I live! :eek::eek::eek: That was the extent of our sex ed!

pikachucheeks

I first got sex ed when I was in sixth year.

These two women sat my year down and taught us about STIs, got us to do quizzes to test our general knowledge.

It wasn't too bad. I just found it quite ironic, because they spent ages discussing contraception, and there in the front row, was my heavily pregnant friend.
They were a few years too late! Would have been more beneficial to have had 'the talk' a few years before that.

One of the women did say something interesting though, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, she said
"Sex is always going to be more emotional for a woman, than a man, because a woman is physically taking someone into her."

Birdie086

grenache wrote: »

Bar what i learned in biology classes during Science, i received no formal sex ed whatsoever. Is it any wonder then that Limerick City just in the road from me has the highest rate of out of marriage pregnancies?!! :rolleyes:

I am from Limerick too, and while reading this thread I have been racking my brains to try and remember if we got any sex ed in school, all I could remember was what we learned in biology class. I did my leaving 1999 and by the time we sat our leaving at least 5% had already had at least one child.

I do remember some Christains came to give a talk and sing some songs in 6year about the perils of unprotected sex and herpes in particular, that was about it.

shivvyban

Birdie086 wrote: »

I do remember some Christains came to give a talk and sing some songs in 6year about the perils of unprotected sex and herpes in particular, that was about it.

We had people come into our sec school like that! They were chastity freaks.... there's nothing wrong with chastity but when they give you the purity rings and make you play risk games such as roll the dice 5 times and add the numbers you get each time and subtract 5 from your total and thats how many children you will have if you have sex with more than one person.... not sure how they worked that one out but the nuns were delighted with the singing about how sex was dirty! It was all a very odd experience!

Ickle Magoo

shivvyban wrote: »

My primary school was incredibly racist! We were told to never have children with a black man because we wouldn't know what colour our children would and that would bring shame on us and our families and the children would be outcasts! I will never forget that for as long as I live! :eek::eek::eek: That was the extent of our sex ed!

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

SeekUp

shivvyban wrote: »

My primary school was incredibly racist! We were told to never have children with a black man because we wouldn't know what colour our children would and that would bring shame on us and our families and the children would be outcasts! I will never forget that for as long as I live! :eek::eek::eek: That was the extent of our sex ed!

That is appalling.

cruizer101 wrote: »

Also in my opinion it is better coming from the school, either through teachers or brought in speakers. For the simple reason it means everyone should be on a level playing field as such.

I have no problem with parents not wanting their children to participate in sexual education provided by the schools; I think they have the right to refuse. But I do think that it's a great idea for schools to provide accurate, up-to-date information . . . and while most people know for sure how conception happens, I'd be willing to bet that a lot of people aren't accurately informed on various aspects of sexual and reproductive health -- at least not enough to teach someone else/their child. It should at least be an option, imo.

ebmma

This is the book they use for sex ed in Germany at kindergarten level
http://www.planetdan.net/pics/babies/index.htm
If I can't find a printed version by the time kids are asking questions I'll print this out.
I think it is brilliant.

DigiGal

AH sex....

Well I'm just out of school where i was thought from a rather old faashioned point of view


Contraception is bad, sex should be used for reproduction, It MAKES YOU STERILE??????

What kind of thing is that to be telling a bunch of 16 year old girls!
When I contradicted this and stood up tellling the class about STDs which weren't mentioned I was forcibly removed from the class room screaming use ****ing condoms!!!!

I then gave out a whole bunch to all the girls having sex after my mam had gotten em free

Novella

I never had sex education in school. In sixth class, a lady came in and separated the girls from the boys and gave the girls a talk about periods. She said "Some day, maybe soon or maybe not for a few years, you will see blood in you pants.....". One girl fainted and I was sitting there like, I already got my period!!!!!!!! :pac:
She did, however, mention that if we "got too close to" a boy, our period would go away and we'd have a baby and that was something we did not, under any circumstances, want to happen!!

So I basically learned everything I know from friends and tv and the internet, eeeek! :eek:

goosey gander

LOL Yee have all just brought back the memories of my sex education!! In primary school, id say i was in fourth or 5th class we had a lady come in to tell us(boys included) "everything we needed to know" we ended up being shown a woman in labour but the video was so fuzzy we couldnt make out anything we could only hear the womans screams!!!!She then told us if we did the devils work i.e sex outside of marraige thats what we'd all sound like!!!!!:(

Then one of the lads in the class asked her what doggy style meant!!! She went so red in the face it looked like she was ready to go into labour!!! She shouted at him "thats the devils work"!!!

In secondary school i dont think we ever got sex ed so it was no surprise that by sixth year many girls including myself were pregnant...Surprisingly enough the sex ed in primary school didnt put me off!!! I ended up doing my leaving cert nine months prenant(I was due the day i finished my leaving cert but thank god i went a week overdue!) and i got 450 points and I now have a degree!!!!

I still talk to girls about real sex and the risks, emotions and timing. I also imform them about contraception and other issues and make sure they see the harsh realities of being a teen mother.

rainbow kirby

shivvyban wrote: »

We had people come into our sec school like that! They were chastity freaks.... there's nothing wrong with chastity but when they give you the purity rings and make you play risk games such as roll the dice 5 times and add the numbers you get each time and subtract 5 from your total and thats how many children you will have if you have sex with more than one person.... not sure how they worked that one out but the nuns were delighted with the singing about how sex was dirty! It was all a very odd experience!

We had those nutbags giving a talk on chastity when I was in TY. Spent the entire talk trying to resist the urge to crack up laughing at them. Stupid Catholic schools...

minidazzler

6th class we had ours, I can´t remember the content but I know it was crap.

Other than that I read my brothers "Boy Talk" book cover to cover at least 10 times by the time I was 12.
In religion the nun tried to talk about it, and while she was sound out, noone paid attention, most of my class was sexually active with a few lads having girls pregnant.
Then The Internet came along and I now know more than I will ever need to.


I always find it funny to hear of girls schools giving sex-ed to girls who are already pregnant.


In Science we saw a video of a woman giving birth, which would have been grand, but It was our teacher!!! Very educational though, even though noone looked at her the same after, she was no longer attractive.

iguana

I had EXTENSIVE sex education in my all girls convent secondary school, from just about every aspect.

First year: Science class, the basic biological know how including how contraceptives work, HIV/STDs and periods. Also how to examine your breasts for lumps, mammograms and biopsies, the importance of smear tests and how they work and also prostate examinations for men. Male teacher.

Second year: Home Economics, again we went over all of the biology. With a lot more class discussion. And we got to see an extremely graphic video of a woman giving birth - one girl fainted, ironically her mother was a mid-wife. We also had a sex and periods talk by a woman from Tampax and another by a woman from Always, we got lots of free samples which i gave to my mum as I did not get my period until two years later. Female teacher.

Third year: Science again, a female teacher this time.
Religion class, we discussed the morality issues around sex, homosexuality, abortion, sex before marriage. Female teacher in her 20's who was not rabidly religious.

Fifth year: (I skipped fourth) I didn't do take either Home Ec or Science to leaving cert, but we had sexual education from a feminist perspective in Women's Studies and we had Social Health which was basically a weekly double class of topical social discussion largely about sex and dating. All female teachers.

Sixth year: A two day religious retreat which was a lot of discussion about sex and dating.
A two day gathering of all sixth year students in the library where we were given a presentation on contraceptives and sexual health followed by discussion. One male and one female teacher.

This was in Limerick btw, 1991-1996.

I knew pretty much all of it outside of school anyway. My parents were extremely open about sex and just answered questions as we asked them. My main discussion with my parents was on a Saturday afternoon when I was 11 and my parents were making a salad. My dad was really descriptive, using any props which were at hand and for a very long time I associated sperm with tomato seeds.:eek::D

chocgirl

Funny reading back over this. The sex education we received was poor at best.

In sixth class, mixed school, we were put in groups and "experts" were brought in to tell us the basics, I remember it being heavily centred around periods and not much else. I was terrified at the time that it'd be found out that I didn't know what condoms were. They were the talk of the playground at the time and I just couldn't figure out what they were no matter how much I thought about it.

Actually one of the lads asked what a blowjob was and the teacher got really cross and told him he'd have to ask his mother.

My own mother bought me a book a few months later but we never discussed it.

In secondary school a few religion classes every year were dedicated to it alright, again basics of the reproductive system and the evil nature of sex emphasised. We watched a video about teenage pregnancy and adoption every year too. It zoomed in on the girl's many stretch marks and one of the nun's used to pause it and tut tut as if it was the most horrific thing in the world!

minidazzler

iguana wrote: »

I had EXTENSIVE sex education in my all girls convent secondary school, from just about every aspect.

I am impressed, I read your whole post and that would have been very forward thinking for a convent!!!

As a matter of interest, were there any girls in your class you ended up pregnant before 18? Or before leaving school?

iguana

minidazzler wrote: »

I am impressed, I read your whole post and that would have been very forward thinking for a convent!!!

As a matter of interest, were there any girls in your class you ended up pregnant before 18? Or before leaving school?

Yeah, about 3 out of roughly 150 girls in my year were pregnant or had a baby by the time of our leaving cert results. Tbh, I think there are some people who want to get pregnant regardless of how much they know how not to.

The school wasn't a bad one. I'm a big critic of school in general but I can definitely not fault my secondary school for their approach to social education. It really was tackled from every aspect and especially for a school with a nun as principal it was extremely progressive.

As an aside my husband's religion teacher in 2nd year played a video of The Lover's Guide to the class and promptly got suspended.

minidazzler

iguana wrote: »

Yeah, about 3 out of roughly 150 girls in my year were pregnant or had a baby by the time of our leaving cert results.

As an aside my husband's religion teacher in 2nd year played a video of The Lover's Guide to the class and promptly got suspended.

That is not bad at all. 3 of 150, The local Convent girls school near me had 6 girls either pregnant or with kids at the Debs, there were only 42 girls there.

Not our religion teacher but a different teacher used to pass around his phone and laptop when I was in school so we could watch the pron he had on it.

JC 2K3

shellyboo wrote: »

I got a book left on my bed when I was maybe 11... it was called "Ready, Steady, Grow!"



Written by a nun, of course. Or maybe a priest... anyway, I think I still have it at home. Few days after that, my Mum asked me if I'd read it and asked me if I had any questions. Thinking back on it now, it was actually a great way of doing it, so well done my parents, woo!

Haha! I had the exact same book! And my mom did the same with me.

Only I ended up googling instead of asking her questions.

It was a horrible, twisted book, tbh. I'm thankful I got my info from the internet rather than my mom, because I reckon my mom would have sympathised with the catholic view of things more.


We had chastity talks at retreats in 5th and 6th year. That's about it in school. Tbh, I wouldn't feel strongly about the fact that I didn't get it in school though. I mean, I pretty much knew everything by 14 due to my own curiosity.

Nightwish

I got that Ready Steady Grow book too! The school sent home a letter asking parents if they wanted to buy it, when I was in 6th class. It was a dreadful book, full of lies...Kissing is evil etc
I got no sex ed in that primary school (Catholic). I repeated 6th class in an Educate Together school, where we had RSE - Relationship & Sexuality Education. It was the pilot year of the programme, and some parents didnt want their kids anywhere near it, so they were left out. It was basically the mechanics of sex and not to let a boy force you into doing anything you dont want to do. No education regarding contraception or STI's.

In secondary school, we had a "Period talk" from Tampax, which was pretty useless since the vast majority of the girls had their period. In 3rd year we had a video from Accord, which said relationships between teenage boys and girls should go no further than holding hands. At that stage, one girl in my year had given birth to her son. By 6th year, we had no education on contraception or STI's. I learned everything from peers and magazines. I do consider myself pretty well educated but that was down to me, looking for information. There are many I went to school, who were unfortunately a bit more ignorant. One girl said she couldnt believe she was pregnant, as she had sex standing up :eek: Out of the 150 or so in my year, about 4 had kids by Leaving Cert, which wasnt too bad. Subsequent years had a worse pregnancy rate. By the time I was out of school a year I'd say almost 20 had at least one child. I'm now finished school 8 years and one girl I know is on her 4th pregnancy with a 4th boyfriend.

I know that the school cannot take the rap for girls mistakes/bad choices. You have to educate yourself along with the guidance you receive in school, as ultimately you are responsible for your own body. Its the guidance that we receive in school, that is so haphazard that can lead to misinformed girls (and guys). I mean, to not give out ANY contraception information whatsoever is ridiculous. I recall during the Accord video, that if we should fall pregnant, that there are lovely catholic families will take the baby and raise it for us :eek: Another teacher told us to "Stay away from the darkies. They're only after your money" :eek: That is a horrible thing to tell anyone!

Christ. i didn't go to a catholic school , but my main memory was a few lines in a science textbook listing the effective rates for various types of contraception.
uh, yeah I think that covers it. as well as the usual "your body will change" crap given to us in around 2nd year when i'd say a few of them were already at it