should i tell my parents

LegacyUser

Hi bit embarrassing this so going unreg. I am 17 year old female and was getting undressed the other night and caught my brother spying on me. I was about to have a shower and had removed my underwear so basically he saw everything. My brother is 13. I was very embarrassed but confronted him and he was equally embarrassed. He said he just wanted to see my breasts as he has never seen real ones!! I think he might have been masturbating as he was watching me. Question is should I tell my parents ? even my Mother at least ? or should I just hope it doesn't happen again ? Does anyone else have experience of this with brothers ? Any advice appreciated as things are awkward now.

LegacyUser

This is a tricky one but you defo need to mention this to your mother discreetly. He's old enough to know better than that, and if he was masturbating while watching you then this needs to be flagged with your mum, coz it's something that really can't ever happen again. I know it's a sensitive issue but if you feel that she can deal with it delicately then I would say have a quiet word in her ear.

snowy2008

if it happens again yes but if not no, just tell him to cop on and not do that again or you will tell, have your door closed in future!!!

LegacyUser

Hi Teresa i had my door closed there are glass panels above the door and he was standing on a chair watching me. I would not be the extrovert type showing myself off to the neighbourhood.

lolli

I think you should talk to your mother about it. HE has no right to be invading your privacy like that.

muboop1

peeping bro wrote: »

Hi bit embarrassing this so going unreg. I am 17 year old female and was getting undressed the other night and caught my brother spying on me. I was about to have a shower and had removed my underwear so basically he saw everything. My brother is 13. I was very embarrassed but confronted him and he was equally embarrassed. He said he just wanted to see my breasts as he has never seen real ones!! I think he might have been masturbating as he was watching me. Question is should I tell my parents ? even my Mother at least ? or should I just hope it doesn't happen again ? Does anyone else have experience of this with brothers ? Any advice appreciated as things are awkward now.

sorry to ask the obvious but how could he see you?
was door open?
Or did he open the door slightly and glance in?
Is there no lock?
Possible he just passed by, saw you then stopped and looked?
You say you thought he was masturbating?
are you definate? thats a big one to not be sure about...
tbh, he could be telling the truth, at a young age we get curious about the other sex.
You told him to not look in future... he should do that!
If he doesn't abide by this rule, talk to parents...

OS119

DO NOT tell your mother - well not unless he starts knocking one out into your underwear draw!

he'll probably have been mortified that you caught him, and unlikely to do it again - if he does, i suggest that you have a talk with him about both the female form and the boundary/privacy issue.

do you really think your mum is going to handle this better than you? having a 'don't crack on off over your sister' conversation with your mum is the start of a road that can really, really fcuk-up a boy and his sexuality.

no, first off, you try and handle it, maybe even get a lads mag (nuts, zoo etc...) for him. if it becomes a problem, then escalate it.

Irishcrx

Do not go to your parents yet, this could really embarras him. I would say he was just sexually curious he is at that age.

I know it was embarrasing for you as well, I would talk to him about it and explain to him that he cannot go around spying on girls undressing, this is one of the first warning signs of a pervert. But he is only a young fella, be firm but understanding if it happens again or anything like it does. Go straight to your parents he may need outside help.

LegacyUser

Irishcrx wrote: »

Do not go to your parents yet, this could really embarras him. I would say he was just sexually curious he is at that age.

I know it was embarrasing for you as well, I would talk to him about it and explain to him that he cannot go around spying on girls undressing, this is one of the first warning signs of a pervert. But he is only a young fella, be firm but understanding if it happens again or anything like it does. Go straight to your parents he may need outside help.

I think you can easily spot the guys on these posts...crying that it will embarrass my brother if i say it to my parents, nothing for the fact that i was extremely embarrassed.

Can I ask how you think "this is one of the first warning signs of a pervert" ?? he is a lovely guy otherwise. Have never thought of him as a pervert. Maybe he is curious but just wish he hadn't decided to look at me naked when trying to fulfill his curiosity.

lolli

Are you guys joking me? Most teenagers get to a curious stage but they look up porn online or they take interest in other girls, its not natural for them to start spying on their sister.

You say not to tell his mother cos it'll embarrass him.... well what about this girl?? I'm sure shes embarrassed that her brother seen her naked.

Irishcrx

peeping bro wrote: »

I think you can easily spot the guys on these posts...crying that it will embarrass my brother if i say it to my parents, nothing for the fact that i was extremely embarrassed.

Can I ask how you think "this is one of the first warning signs of a pervert" ?? he is a lovely guy otherwise. Have never thought of him as a pervert. Maybe he is curious but just wish he hadn't decided to look at me naked when trying to fulfill his curiosity.

I know because I study criminal psycology and have for the past few years so I know that this is a warning sign and it often starts at an early age with people well known to them and they often are "Nice guys".

In saying that I didn't mean to insult you or your brother, I realise that it was embarrasing for you both and was giving him the benefit of the doubt before you go to your parents, it may well have been just curiosity for him, in which case I would say speak to him yourself and explain that it is wrong and that your his god damn sister for gods sake.

metrovelvet

I think you should have a quite word with your mother or father. Be calm and maybe ask one of your parents, maybe your father should so do this.. to have a talk with your brother to explain to him about respect for privacy and even though this is a curious age that he really shouldn't be spying on young women, even his sister. Maybe you should do this?

I think at that age people are still learning as they go about boundaries and being appropriate.

Given all the nudity in films and television I doubt he hasnt seen breasts yet.

aidan24326

peeping bro wrote: »

I think you can easily spot the guys on these posts...crying that it will embarrass my brother if i say it to my parents, nothing for the fact that i was extremely embarrassed.

Can I ask how you think "this is one of the first warning signs of a pervert" ?? he is a lovely guy otherwise. Have never thought of him as a pervert. Maybe he is curious but just wish he hadn't decided to look at me naked when trying to fulfill his curiosity.

You are entitled to feel embarassed and quite uncomfortable about this, but telling your mother right now isn't going to achieve anything only make the situation even worse, more embarassment, more awkwardness for everyone (your mother included no doubt). I'd deal with it yourself for now, hopefully the embarassment of you catching him will have left him mortified and unlikely to do it again. You should really have a chat with him and spell it out in no uncertain terms that this type of voyeuristic spying on girls is not allowed and could get him into big trouble, and that it's completely unacceptable to do this to his own sister. Hopefully that should be the end of it. I wouldn't say anything to your parents unless it becomes a recurring problem, then you would have no choice but to speak to them.

VaioCruiser

peeping bro wrote: »

Hi bit embarrassing this so going unreg. I am 17 year old female and was getting undressed the other night and caught my brother spying on me. I was about to have a shower and had removed my underwear so basically he saw everything. My brother is 13. I was very embarrassed but confronted him and he was equally embarrassed. He said he just wanted to see my breasts as he has never seen real ones!! I think he might have been masturbating as he was watching me. Question is should I tell my parents ? even my Mother at least ? or should I just hope it doesn't happen again ? Does anyone else have experience of this with brothers ? Any advice appreciated as things are awkward now.

Hi OP.

As a father of a 17 year old boy ... Absolutely not! My goodness me .. boys are curious and he was just getting a glimpse of you out of natural puberty curiosity. God love him :rolleyes:

Write it off to one of those things and don't embarrass him further by making a huge thing out of it that will scar him for years to come.

Naturally also tell him he is in deep sh1t if he tries it again and if he causes a continuing problem, then is the time for a short chat with you FATHER .... not your mother. He will understand what is going her a lot better

All the best.

parker kent

metrovelvet wrote: »

I think you should have a quite word with your mother or father. Be calm and maybe ask one of your parents, maybe your father should so do this.. to have a talk with your brother to explain to him about respect for privacy and even though this is a curious age that he really shouldn't be spying on young women, even his sister. Maybe you should do this?

I think at that age people are still learning as they go about boundaries and being appropriate.

Given all the nudity in films and television I doubt he hasnt seen breasts yet.

I think OP meant that he hadn't seen real life breasts before. I think he is probably at the stage where he is seeing boobs everywhere and it can easily become a dangerous obsession if it is not checked. Of course, he is a young lad and will be interested in girls but what he did was waaaay out of line. This is why I think that the OP should have a serious talk with him. You will have to be careful how you do it. Try to be firm but still aware he is a kid who may have made a mistake, albeit a serious mistake.

I can imagine it was mortifying but for your own well being and his you should tell him how you feel. Say that what he did was very, very wrong. Say that it is wrong to peep on any girl and that it is worse to do so to your sister. If he is a good kid as you say, appeal to this side of him by saying how it embarrassed you. Also say that you understand it is natural for kids to be curious, that what he did is not acceptable. Really emphasize that he was out of line and that if he does it again you will tell your parents. Be firm.

I hope for your sake he wasn't masturbating because that complicates things. If he caught a glimpse of your door open, and had a rabbit in the headlights moment, I think it is less serious. But if he was doing what you think, then he has no excuses. I don't think as a 17 year old girl yourself you should get into much detail on that with him. Just say something like "I hope you weren't masturbating". Now phrase that sentence however you feel comfortable, you could hint at it if you are not comfortable but if you are OK saying it to him bluntly, it might be the shock he needs! Maybe advise him to speak to your Dad. You could say that maybe he should have a chat with him if he has questions about things.

Edit: I agree with the post above, if it was just an accidental glimpse, then a quiet word along the lines of what I said or like others have said is best. No point traumatizing both of you. Just say something like "I hope you saw me by accident etc"

lloydyboy

VaioCruiser wrote: »

Hi OP.

As a father of a 17 year old boy ... Absolutely not! My goodness me .. boys are curious and he was just getting a glimpse of you out of natural puberty curiosity. God love him :rolleyes:

Write it off to one of those things and don't embarrass him further by making a huge thing out of it that will scar him for years to come.

Naturally also tell him he is in deep sh1t if he tries it again and if he causes a continuing problem, then is the time for a short chat with you FATHER .... not your mother. He will understand what is going her a lot better

All the best.

I find it hard to believe you are suggesting it is ok for a boy to be looking at his sister naked. As the father of a 17 year old would you not be concerned if you found him spying on a sister ? or would you think it was ok ?

Terodil

lloydyboy wrote: »

I find it hard to believe you are suggesting it is ok for a boy to be looking at his sister naked. As the father of a 17 year old would you not be concerned if you found him spying on a sister ? or would you think it was ok ?

Erm... what is wrong with family members seeing each other naked, in principle?

The intent is the differentiating factor IMHO. If he was really deriving sexual pleasure from it (and I cannot help but wonder why the OP isn't sure, given the seriousness of the allegation and given that it's not exactly hard to see), then he was way out of line. If he was just curious, and that's what I'm leaning towards considering that he's just 13 and just about to enter/in the middle of puberty, then there's a breach of privacy to discuss but no perviness. He could have asked instead of going about it in a sneaky way.

In the first case I think the parents should definitely be involved, in the second it's just a matter of giving him a stern talking to about privacy and trust. The OP is 17, not 7, and I'm sure she can handle it without blowing it out of proportions.

Cianos

Irishcrx wrote: »

I know because I study criminal psycology and have for the past few years so I know that this is a warning sign and it often starts at an early age with people well known to them and they often are "Nice guys".

OP, don't listen to this scare-mongering. Just because it's a sign of perversion, does not mean it's a step towards it. It's like saying "stealing money from your mothers purse is one of the first signs of becoming a criminal"...sure, it's a sign, but many more people steal from their mothers purse and don't become criminals - ie, it's a thing you do when you're a kid but doesn't mean anything about your mentality when you're an adult.

It's normal for boys to be experimental and curious at that age...new thoughts and feelings to what is right and wrong are not as easily adapted to such new thoughts and feelings.

In short, he'll realise that he overstepped a boundary and shouldn't do those things. Don't go to your parents about it, unless it persists.

LegacyUser

The reason I couldn't tell for sure if he was masturbating was because (as I said in a previous post which didn't get put up) my door was closed but there is a glass panel above the door and he was standing on a chair looking in. So he saw all of me - I only saw his head. by the time i got my dressing gown on and got out to him he seemed to be zipping himself up which suggested he might have been at it. I was walking round the room for a while in my underwear before taking them off which would have given him plenty of time to get aroused.

Irishcrx

Cianos wrote: »

OP, don't listen to this scare-mongering. Just because it's a sign of perversion, does not mean it's a step towards it. It's like saying "stealing money from your mothers purse is one of the first signs of becoming a criminal"...sure, it's a sign, but many more people steal from their mothers purse and don't become criminals - ie, it's a thing you do when you're a kid but doesn't mean anything about your mentality when you're an adult.

It's normal for boys to be experimental and curious at that age...new thoughts and feelings to what is right and wrong are not as easily adapted to such new thoughts and feelings.

In short, he'll realise that he overstepped a boundary and shouldn't do those things. Don't go to your parents about it, unless it persists.

I just want to point out that I was not trying to scare the girl. I was pointing out that it is a very serious issue and she should be aware of that. Watching your sister undress and masturbating (if he was) if not a innocent incident like looking her diary it should be addressed staright away no matter what his intentions were.

lolli

Irishcrx wrote: »

I just want to point out that I was not trying to scare the girl. I was pointing out that it is a very serious issue and she should be aware of that. Watching your sister undress and masturbating (if he was) if not a innocent incident like looking her diary it should be addressed staright away no matter what his intentions were.

I completely agree with you on this. Its a serious matter and I can't believe the amount of people who are saying that it should merely be swept under the carpet... although I suppose thats something the Irish have been doing for a long time.

Terodil

peeping bro wrote: »

The reason I couldn't tell for sure if he was masturbating was because (as I said in a previous post which didn't get put up) my door was closed but there is a glass panel above the door and he was standing on a chair looking in. So he saw all of me - I only saw his head. by the time i got my dressing gown on and got out to him he seemed to be zipping himself up which suggested he might have been at it. I was walking round the room for a while in my underwear before taking them off which would have given him plenty of time to get aroused.

Well that's not on. Disgusting, rather.

I still think I'd deal with it myself (a lecture + some serious threat), but telling your parents may be suitable too.

Cianos

Irishcrx wrote: »

I just want to point out that I was not trying to scare the girl. I was pointing out that it is a very serious issue and she should be aware of that. Watching your sister undress and masturbating (if he was) if not a innocent incident like looking her diary it should be addressed staright away no matter what his intentions were.

Whether you were or were not trying to scare her, you were essentially suggesting the possibility that her brother will develop in to a sexual criminal based on this one incident. Remember that OP is only 17 herself, and throwing around these worst-case-scenario suggestions is quite insensitive and will most likely just make things worse.

Yes the situation should be taken seriously, and it should be addressed, which OP has already done - the brother now understands that he crossed a boundary. If a similar incident reoccurs, then more intervention should be taken as obviously the brother has not respected those boundaries.

Cleopatra12

I have to say my first and only reaction would be to tell you to spaek to your parents. Its not like your brother accidently saw you, he went and got a chair to stand up to look in a window. Now that is devious.

Go and speak to your mom and dad together. They need to have a word with him to instill in him that behaviour like this is not appropriate. Coming from either of them, it will carry so much more weight than if you have a word. Perhaps your dad needs to have 'the chat' with him. Perhaps your parents have not done this with him . I can understand he is curious at his age, but its the 'standning on the chair' thing that gets me, and the planning of that! he was not just being opportunistic.

I am so sorry to hear he intruded on you. I hope you are ok and are not too upset. I reccomend you cover the glass panes over your door so avoid any further incidences. remember you are entitled to your privacy too and need to feel comfortable in your own home.

Queencake

My heart goes out to you OP. People here are saying how embarrassed your brother may be - he should be. He went out of his way to spy on you and the fact he was zipping up his pants when you rushed out would lead anyone to suspect his actions and motivation.

DEFINITELY - Block up your window panel on BOTH sides so he can't just make a small tear to peep through. Also have another word with him. I agree with the poster who said you may need to "shock" him by being blunt about his peeping and the possibility of him masturbating over it. He needs to know just how unacceptable his behaviour is.

ALSO - If it were me I would tell my mother. If he spied on you then he could spy on her so firstly it's important she's aware. Secondly behaviour like this needs to be dealt with. When I was 13 a strong word from a sibling would not carry much weight at all...

I'm sure some lads have been peeping toms and grew out of it but seriously it is not normal curiosity to go get a chair and peep on a naked sister (and maybe masturbate).

VaioCruiser

lloydyboy wrote: »

I find it hard to believe you are suggesting it is ok for a boy to be looking at his sister naked. As the father of a 17 year old would you not be concerned if you found him spying on a sister ? or would you think it was ok ?

What on earth is wrong with seeing each other naked ???

I find this attitude incredibly repressed and prudish and sad. This is 2009 and not 1809. Our bodies are absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. And instilling this kind of repression in our kids is not good for them.

And now people want to traumatise him further by dragging in the parents ??

How sad....

tbh

lloydyboy wrote: »

I find it hard to believe you are suggesting it is ok for a boy to be looking at his sister naked. As the father of a 17 year old would you not be concerned if you found him spying on a sister ? or would you think it was ok ?

17 year old boy is not the same as 13 year old boy.

The guys hormones are basically controlling him, he probably wasn't thinking straight and hopefully is mortified now and won't do it again.

I'd echo vaiocruisers excellent advice.

What he did was by no means ok, but talk of him being a pervert or a potential pervert is way over the top. Have a chat to your dad if you think it's anything other than a one off, but give him the benefit of the doubt first. He's still basically a child.

lolli

VaioCruiser wrote: »

What on earth is wrong with seeing each other naked ???

And now people want to traumatise him further by dragging in the parents ??

How sad....

Well its wrong him seeing her naked if hes getting sexual kicks out of it.

Traumatise him??? What about the girl... you seem to forget that its the brother who has done this she has done nothing wrong yet you are standing up for him.

Queencake

VaioCruiser wrote: »

What on earth is wrong with seeing each other naked ???

I find this attitude incredibly repressed and prudish and sad. This is 2009 and not 1809. Our bodies are absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. And instilling this kind of repression in our kids is not good for them.

And now people want to traumatise him further by dragging in the parents ??

How sad....

TRAUMATISE? If anyone suffered in this incident (that was entirely caused by the brother's own choices) it's the poor op. The issue isn't that he accidentally saw his sister naked and got given out to. No one would blame him for that.

He went out of his way to spy on his sister while he knew she was naked and even may have been masturbating while doing so.

Lads will be lads but this goes beyond what is acceptable. I'm no prude and this situation has NOTHING to do with "repressed sexuality" unless you mean it's healthy for boys to sexualise immediate family members? Surely not.

parker kent

Queencake wrote: »

My heart goes out to you OP. People here are saying how embarrassed your brother may be - he should be. He went out of his way to spy on you and the fact he was zipping up his pants when you rushed out would lead anyone to suspect his actions and motivation.

DEFINITELY - Block up your window panel on BOTH sides so he can't just make a small tear to peep through. Also have another word with him. I agree with the poster who said you may need to "shock" him by being blunt about his peeping and the possibility of him masturbating over it. He needs to know just how unacceptable his behaviour is.

ALSO - If it were me I would tell my mother. If he spied on you then he could spy on her so firstly it's important she's aware. Secondly behaviour like this needs to be dealt with. When I was 13 a strong word from a sibling would not carry much weight at all...

I'm sure some lads have been peeping toms and grew out of it but seriously it is not normal curiosity to go get a chair and peep on a naked sister (and maybe masturbate).

I agree with this wholeheartedly. The OPs last post cleared up any notion that it was an accident. This wasn't a boy in school catching a glimpse into the girls changing rooms, this was a kid actively spying on his sister. An accidental incident is one thing, going out of your way to spy on a sibling for kicks is another. I think if she feels strong enough to give him a stern talking (that will actually make a difference) then she should. I still think that what I said earlier about being blunt about it and shocking him back to his senses is a good idea. You need to take back control from him and let him know in no uncertain terms he was out of line. Let him know that you know full well what he was up to.

I would go to your parents if after talking to him that you think he doesn't seem to get that what he did was wrong. Or else if you don't feel capable of having that talk with him yourself then they would be a good option too.

dellas1979

Can posters please think about the 13 year old child here?

Id swear most of the posters here would call SS on the child if they could.

OP, I can imagine how upsetting this could be for you, but this time, let it slide. Put it down to curiosity and hormones. I wouldnt go telling your parents just yet. If anything remotely dodgy happens again, then say something.

He needs to know from you that it was wrong to do this. He is 13 and sounds like he needs a little "guidance" kick in the bottom but for the love of God, dont make a big deal out of one incident.

Eve_Dublin

This could cause incredible embarrassment for everyone and needs to be handled with care. I'm not sure how I'd handle my 17 year old telling me her 13 year old brother was masturbating while looking at her, to be honest. You're not 100% sure he even was OP....you're not sure how long he was looking in the window at you and you're not sure if he was actually zipping himself up. This is a very serious accusation if you're not sure. If he was looking at you naked, then I think this just boils down to the curiosity of a pubescent boy and as far as you are a hundred per cent sure of, this is all it was...everything else is just a guess. I understand the uncertainty is upsetting and uncomfortable for you but I'm not sure if telling your parents is the best move...

parker kent

dellas1979 wrote: »

Can posters please think about the 13 year old child here?

Id swear most of the posters here would call SS on the child if they could.

OP, I can imagine how upsetting this could be for you, but this time, let it slide. Put it down to curiosity and hormones. I wouldnt go telling your parents just yet. If anything remotely dodgy happens again, then say something.

He needs to know from you that it was wrong to do this. He is 13 and sounds like he needs a little "guidance" kick in the bottom but for the love of God, dont make a big deal out of one incident.

In fairness, a lot of posters favour the girl dealing with the situation by having a word with him first. I agree that consideration needs to given to his age, but as you say a "guidance kick" is needed. Not saying anything wouldn't do him any favours long term. Nip it in the bud now and both the girl and the boy will be able to move on.

Queencake

I really don't think anyone was harsh enough to be compared to Nazis dellas1979.

But I think it could be careless to just try and forget the incident without ensuring that the brother understands what he did was utterly wrong. I just disagree with those who were downplaying the incident by saying that it was simply natural curiosity at work. It isn't typical to do a peeping tom act on a sibling.

tbh

Queencake wrote: »

I really don't think anyone was harsh enough to be compared to Nazis dellas1979.

ss: social services

Queencake

Lol! SS standing for social services did cross my mind but I've never seen that abbreviation before My sincere apologies dallas1979 if this is the case.

I can only speak for myself but I didn't even consider calling social services as an idea. I did consider that if he continued with this kind of unwanted sexual attention then a consultation with a child counsellor or psychologist wouldn't be a bad idea.

Eve_Dublin

Queencake wrote: »

I really don't think anyone was harsh enough to be compared to Nazis dellas1979.

But I think it could be careless to just try and forget the incident without ensuring that the brother understands what he did was utterly wrong. I just disagree with those who were downplaying the incident by saying that it was simply natural curiosity at work. It isn't typical to do a peeping tom act on a sibling.

Grey, murky area...not as black and white as you put it here, Queencake ^

Queencake

I don't think it's healthy for a 13 year old boy to be engaging in such behaviour so about that I guess I do see it as black and white.

Smyth

As someone who has been a 13 year old boy, all this nonsense of "leave him be, he's only a child" is complete and utter sh1te. He's well aware of what he's doing and should face the consequences - embarrassing or not. It's completely odd behaviour.

There is curiosity between siblings...but at a very young age. For a pubescent male to explore these feelings with his sister is abnormal and needs to be tackled.

With the culture we live in, this notion of the innocent 13 year old no longer exists. I just wanted to see...boll0x

Mackleton

Smyth, agree with you 100%. In the age that the boy has grown up in with free access to television and the internet, he is certainly not innocent and knows exactly what he was doing.

Consider it this way, if she had caught him watching porn on the internet or looking at a lads mag then fair enough, that is NORMAL sexual curiosity, he is having sexual thoughts and feelings about a stranger. What the boy did required forethought and planning,(OK not a lot, but some at least to go get a chair). He deliberately and sneakily spyed on her and may have gotten excited while looking at her. I don't care how progressive your thinking is, he sexualised a FAMILY member in his own mind and that is NOT normal.

If this incident goes unchecked, then he will think, as young lads do, that he got away with it without punishment, what's to stop him progressing on to other things? Like being inappropriate with other female relatives or younger female relatives?

No,I think OP, have a quiet word with your Dad, but be sensitive, say something like, 'Look Dad, I think you might need to have a word with John*, I think he might have been watching me the other day and I was very uncomfortable.' Don't say that he did anything for sure, or accuse him just calmy mention it might be time for your Dad to have a father and son chat with him. Believe you me, your mother would probably blow it out of all proportion, (nothing against your mother but her being female will mean she is instinctively more protective of your privacy and will be worried that he has been doing other things of the same nature or worse, so really Dad is your best bet.

Good luck!

Irishcrx

VaioCruiser wrote: »

What on earth is wrong with seeing each other naked ???

I find this attitude incredibly repressed and prudish and sad. This is 2009 and not 1809. Our bodies are absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. And instilling this kind of repression in our kids is not good for them.

And now people want to traumatise him further by dragging in the parents ??

How sad....

Are you for real??

LegacyUser

Oh come on. This is such a typical boards.ie overreaction. OMG HES GONNA GROW UP TO BE A RAPIST!!11
Jeez, every guy i know has at some point had a sexual dream involving their sister, it might be gross but its natural when youre growing up and just discovering sex and the only female in your life is the one you see every day at home. Hes not a pervert, hes jsut a frustrated teen who wanted to see some boobs and went looking at the only person he knows who has them

Undertow

Aye I actually feel quite sorry for the young lad. He was just curious. I dont think it should be anything to get worked up over, and dont see the point in dragging parents into it. He's ONLY 13 for Christ sake! The boy probably doesnt know whats happening him right now!

If it happens again, maybe do something about it but dont bark out at him. Be sensitive!

wexford202

Undertow wrote: »

Aye I actually feel quite sorry for the young lad. He was just curious. I dont think it should be anything to get worked up over, and dont see the point in dragging parents into it. He's ONLY 13 for Christ sake! The boy probably doesnt know whats happening him right now!

If it happens again, maybe do something about it but dont bark out at him. Be sensitive!

Yeah maybe back in the 1960's

Majority of kids that age are already kissing girls and exploring heir sexuality.

He knows full well what breasts are and he knows that climbing a chair to peer into someones bedroom is wrong.

I would definitely get onto him bout that. I would also be buying black card to cover window over door to really show him that you are pissed off about it.

parker kent

blahblah111 wrote: »

Oh come on. This is such a typical boards.ie overreaction. OMG HES GONNA GROW UP TO BE A RAPIST!!11
Jeez, every guy i know has at some point had a sexual dream involving their sister, it might be gross but its natural when youre growing up and just discovering sex and the only female in your life is the one you see every day at home. Hes not a pervert, hes jsut a frustrated teen who wanted to see some boobs and went looking at the only person he knows who has them

Well this wasn't just a dream he had no control over, he knew full well what he was at. The OP is not some inanimate object there for him to look at. She is still young and is clearly upset that somebody she viewed as just her little brother would invade her privacy in such a manner. Sure remember that he is a kid who made a mistake but it's more important I think that the girl gets some closure on the event. Being a frustrated teen doesn't give you carte blanche to watch your sister getting undressed.

Spare the rod and spoil the child springs to mind.

renraw

My advice OP would be to have a chat with your brother, he is only 13 and needs to be spoken to. I wouldn't involve the parents because you're not too sure if he was actually masturbating. It could cause serious consequences for your brother and parents. I am in no way condoning what he has done, but he has made a mistake and you need to bring attention to it with him. A few words of how it makes you feel, would be suffice as he's at that awkward age. Wish ya all the best and hope it works out.

RossFixxxed

parker kent wrote: »

Well this wasn't just a dream he had no control over, he knew full well what he was at. The OP is not some inanimate object there for him to look at. She is still young and is clearly upset that somebody she viewed as just her little brother would invade her privacy in such a manner. Sure remember that he is a kid who made a mistake but it's more important I think that the girl gets some closure on the event. Being a frustrated teen doesn't give you carte blanche to watch your sister getting undressed.

Spare the rod and spoil the child springs to mind.

Ah it's a milestone for horny young lads: seeing real boobs, seeing a real girl naked (real as in not on tv etc). It doesn't excuse it but it sounds like mental hormones got a hold of him.

I'd sit him down, block the window out and see how it goes.

This is a one off, as far as we know and the suggestions that he's on his way to being the next Ted Bundy is a little crazy boards talk to be fair.

Play it by ear for now. I know when I was 13 my hormones were insanely out of control and it causes you to do stupid things. I'm not saying they're OK to do, but it may not have been a big premeditated precursor to rape like! Put him in his place and if anything happens again go to your parents!

parker kent

RossFixxxed wrote: »

Ah it's a milestone for horny young lads: seeing real boobs, seeing a real girl naked (real as in not on tv etc). It doesn't excuse it but it sounds like mental hormones got a hold of him.

I'd sit him down, block the window out and see how it goes.

This is a one off, as far as we know and the suggestions that he's on his way to being the next Ted Bundy is a little crazy boards talk to be fair.

Play it by ear for now. I know when I was 13 my hormones were insanely out of control and it causes you to do stupid things. I'm not saying they're OK to do, but it may not have been a big premeditated precursor to rape like! Put him in his place and if anything happens again go to your parents!

I was as horny as any other 13 year old boy but I didn't go to my sister to get my fix!

RossFixxxed

parker kent wrote: »

I was as horny as any other 13 year old boy but I didn't go to my sister to get my fix!

As I said it's not right, but it may have just been a totally stupid, hormone driven thing. Not saying everyone does it, or that it is a valid excuse!

Queencake

My thought was that if he got a sexual thrill out of being a peeping tom/voyeur he could continue - maybe not with his sister but with other girls. It's not that uncommon but it is totally wrong. I think it's obvious it's largely down to hormones going wacky but this boys will be boys attitude irritates me.

OP, like I said before - I don't think a sibling to sibling chat will suffice. You are not his guardian. When I was 13 I was a good kid but I still wouldn't place as much respect on a 17 year old as I would a parent. It will have more power and authority coming from your father/mother. No need to say to your father/mother you think he may have been masturbating. Only state the facts.

Guys once she blocks up the window her parents will question why. If I was the lad's parent I would want to know.

parker kent

Queencake wrote: »

Guys once she blocks up the window her parents will question why. If I was the lad's parent I would want to know.

That's actually a good point. They would notice any blocking of the window. If it was physically possible I would suggest a poster/calendar etc. A quiet word with parents might be good, stating the facts. What queencake suggests is a good option or you could even just say he was spying on you and leave out the nudity etc. However I would still say to him myself that he was out of line. If he the decent lad that the OP suggests, seeing his sister upset might have an effect.

I'm not suggesting he is the next Ted Bundy etc, but it will be for his own good in the long term to learn that you cannot just do as you please. Consequences for your actions is an important part of growing up. If it was let slide, as is said by others here there is a possibility (not guaranteed) that he could do it to others too. Better deal with it now than having it become a bigger issue. For his own good and just as importantly for his sisters peace of mind.