Do u expect your boyfriend to give u a present r do something nice for your birthday?

misssandy

Just wondering what peoples opinions are on this topic- do you expect your boyfrind to give you a present for your birthday of just do something nice for you? I know some men shower women with gifts but there is probably the opposite of this also...This has been a topic of debate between me and my girlfriends for a few days, gimme some feedback ladies, Thanks!:)

shellyboo

Hmm, a little of both really. My birthday is on Christmas Eve, so I tend to be getting two presents at the same time! But since I don't really get to celebrate my birthday, I really appreciate it if a boyfriend does something special for me as well.

rororoyourboat

There's been times in the past where I've gone "Ara, no it's grand, don't be wasting money." But then when the day came and I got nothing I was fuming! :rolleyes: So, I suppose something small and meaningful is what I meant by 'nothing'!

b3t4

Yup, I expect a fuss to be made.

He expects a similar fuss to be made on his birthday.

I'm very thoughtful when it comes to presents. So I expect to see alot of effort. I'm not bothered about expense.

Novella

Hmm, I wouldn't say I'd expect him to buy me a present, but I'd be pretty upset if he forgot my bday or just made no effort to do anything nice for me at all. I would never let his bday go by without going out of my way even just a little bit to make sure he had a better than usual day and I'd hope he'd do the same for me.

Xiney

When I say I expect a present, I don't mean diamonds.

A book that he thought I'd like is enough. If I didn't get anything I would definitely be put out because it would mean he didn't put any thought into it at all.

lizzyvera

Nah, I don't need anything. Presents just end up on the pile of crap I don't use in my parent's house...
He makes me cards, which I like.

rannerap

i wouldnt expect anything amazing,as xiney said just something to acknowlege your bday is enough really,a book or dvd etc

Elle Victorine

I don't really celebrate my birthday but it's nice when it's acknowledged. A present is just an extra thoughtful bonus as far as I'm concerned.

mollybird

i love my birthday. love doing something nice for it most years. my OH always goes out of his way to make my bday extra special for me. last years was crap for reason's i won't go into and since my 30th is this year it will be interesting to see what he comes up with this year. his 30th was in may so wonder if he can beat what i did for him. :P

jellie

i love spoiling people, particularly on bdays and particularly bfs. i dont do it for something in return, but at the same time it would be nice to have someone else spoil me.

so yes i do expect SOMETHING on my bday. whether its a handmade card & a day of back massages & attention cause he has no money (actually thatd be a pretty super present whether he had money or not..) or something hes spent money on i wouldnt mind. its about the effort.

now i want a back massage

SeekUp

I expect some quality time!

We usually do dinner or a night away or something. Birthdays are hardly as fun as they were when you were a kid, so it's nice to do something a little out of the ordinary to celebrate.

Yes, he always gets me a gift -- sometimes it's small, sometimes it's bigger . . . it's always right, somehow.

Pythia

We go all out for birthdays and Christmas. Certainly a couple of hundred each time. I know he's planning something big for my birthday in a couple of weeks, can't wait to see what!

Agent Smith

Pythia wrote: »

We go all out for birthdays and Christmas. Certainly a couple of hundred each time. I know he's planning something big for my birthday in a couple of weeks, can't wait to see what!

Enda Kenny Cutout...


I Just know it...

The Sweeper

I don't expect surprises, drama and massive sweeping gestures. I do expect to be spoiled some - dinner out, an indulgence of some variety. I don't attach a price tag, do like to be consulted, and do the same in return.

DancingDaisy

All I ever really want from him for my birthday is a card. I usually get something hand made, a painting or something along those lines. It really is the thought that counts. I would be happy with nothing but a card.

misssandy

Thanks for all the replies everyone, they sure has given me and my girlfriends something to talk about. I suppose the main thing is that not every couple are the same and can differ greatly. I think its the thought that counts. If ur OH is good to you all year there shouldnt be the need to splash out on a big pressie for your birthday. It is nice to acknowledge someones birthday though even if its just a nice card.:D Toodles miss sandy

skywards

Honestly, I'm impressed when people actually remember my birthday. I generally don't :pac:.

pikachucheeks

misssandy wrote: »

do you expect your boyfrind to give you a present for your birthday of just do something nice for you? I know some men shower women with gifts but there is probably the opposite of this also...This has been a topic of debate between me and my girlfriends for a few days, gimme some feedback ladies, Thanks!:)

I'd wouldn't say I'd expect a present or something nice to be done for me, but I'd like it and I'd definitely appreciate it.

For me, I consider a Birthday to be the single day of the year where it really is all about you, so why shouldn't you be pampered and make feel special by the people in your life?

If I was with someone, I'd certainly put time and effort into doing something nice for them, finding them a nice present so I'd be thrilled if that was returned. Not that I'd go to effort for them, just to get something in return!

To be honest, I wouldn't really care about how much money he spent, I'd just like him to be thoughtful!

*cough*However a pair of Louboutins wouldn't go astray!*cough*

Malari

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I'd wouldn't say I'd expect a present or something nice to be done for me, but I'd like it and I'd definitely appreciate it.

This is what I was trying to say but couldn't make it sound right so didn't post :rolleyes::p:D

Can't say I had any expectation my first birthday we were together (mine came first) but now it's become a tradition that we treat each other to a meal in a nice restaurant and get a fairly decent present for each other.

I'd be happy with just a meal, or just a small present, but I like to spoil him and show him how much I love him by getting him something great on his birthday and I know that's his motivation for doing it for me.

MJOR

i'd like a nice meal out and breakfast in bed..... a token gift i'd be happy with:)
i love cards

pikachucheeks

MJOR wrote: »

i'd like a nice meal out and breakfast in bed..... a token gift i'd be happy with:)
i love cards

You'd just want breakfast in bed? I'd be expecting fireworks :pac:

MJOR

pikachucheeks wrote: »

You'd just want breakfast in bed? I'd be expecting fireworks :pac:

ah the prelude to breakfast??:D

SeekUp

MJOR wrote: »

ah the prelude to breakfast??:D

Fireworks, then you can get up and shower while he's in the kitchen, cooking away, then you come out ready for a delicious meal.

Done and done.

Fugly

This thread got me thinking about gifts to your OH, It can be hell to pick something out, especially if the relationships new-ish. It can be an nightmare, don't want to spend too much/too little, thoughtful is the way to go but even that can be difficult to pick .

I do recall a friend from college who got me a Take That double disk greatest collection, {we only knew each other ~6months and I'm a huge TT fan}. I did end up scoring him that night and going out with him for nearly 2 years, {and they say love can't be bought. .} In all honesty it was that meaningful gift that made me look at him in completely new way.

And yes I am that cheap, I should have held out for Louboutin's:D

YOURFACE!

He had bloody better or he's dead! I dont expect major gifts like diamonds or anything like that (although I wouldnt say no!) But a bit of a fuss is always nice! I totally spoil him for his birthday cos I love him!

Nightwish

I do like a bit of fuss over my birthday. Its not about expense or a lot of gifts. Its all about the thought. It could be something I admired a few months back, or even something I mentioned in passing, that I liked. If he remembers, thats the sweetest thing. I do like a card, even a handmade one. Ok especially a handmade one, but he didnt get me one this year.

Stheno

I'd not really expect a present as tbh I can be a nightmare to buy stuff for, and I'd prefer that someone not agonise over something and hope it's right.

Just marking the day is nice

skywards

nouggatti wrote: »

I'd not really expect a present as tbh I can be a nightmare to buy stuff for, and I'd prefer that someone not agonise over something and hope it's right.

The same for me. *I* don't know what on earth I'd want, I have no idea how someone else would know!

Stheno

skywards wrote: »

The same for me. *I* don't know what on earth I'd want, I have no idea how someone else would know!

Exactly, I've usually gotten stuff I want myself, practical stuff would be the sort of stuff I'd most appreciate lol.

That said I do love planning other people's birthdays, I'd great fun with the bf's last birthday, I'd a series of things planned, so prior to each one, he got a small gift, a symbol of the event (e.g. we were going to a comedy show after dinner, so he got a small fork, and one of the smiley theatre symbols). It was fun!

I've spent many happy hours the past week or so beginning to think/plan for xmas

katiemaloe

I think its nice to make a fuss on someones birthday- its a celebration of their life and its nice to have one day a year to be spoiled and special. An ex boyfriend made a huge effore for my birthday- he got up in the middle of the night and put up balloons, streamers and a big banner. he had the helium balloons hidden in his car all day! He even made a little party hat for my pet mouse. Everything was in yellow- my favorite colour. he got me gorgeous shoes and took me out for yummy dinner in our fave restaurant. I felt really adored and special. I'll never forget it- so thoughtful and he put so much effort in.

I like to do the same back- birthdays are special and deserve to be celebrated

The Big Red Button

It totally depends on what each of our financial situations are like at the time!

There's been times when he's been working lots with not many outgoings, and he's gotten me great presents like weekends away, at a couple of hundred euro each, or brought me to Brown Thomas and told me to go mad (within reason of course!) But other times he hasn't had so much cash and he might give me a nice perfume or bring me out for dinner, which I appreciate just as much. He's always had a job since we got together, so he has no excuse not to get me something, but I wouldn't be too bothered about what it was so long as he put a bit of thought into it. And he always gets me great cards - I love cards!

I'm generally poorer than him, so my presents aren't usually as extravagant, but I do my best to get him something he'll love, like tracking down some obsure CD or DVD he's been looking for for ages. Or really specific mudflaps for his car, that was a tough one and he really appreciated it! I tend to get him a few small presents rather than one big one. I did bring him to Edinburgh for his 21st, which was pretty expensive, but the fecker insisted on treating me to loads of stuff over there coz he felt bad about me spending so much on him.

It sounds like I'm a spoilt brat, but while he gets me bigger more extravagent presents, I often get his random little ones throughout the year for no reason. So it works out OK in the end It's definitely the thought that counts though, not the amount spent. And it means a lot to me that we always spend our birthdays together, whether it's a night out or a night in with a DVD. That's more important than any present!

skywards

nouggatti wrote: »

Exactly, I've usually gotten stuff I want myself, practical stuff would be the sort of stuff I'd most appreciate lol.

Its difficult for me, because I work with horses for a living and for fun. No one in my family can tell the front of a horse from the back, so asking for a certain thing is like my brother asking me for car parts for his birthday. Lots of blank stares .

Linguo

I get completely spoiled for my b-day, and all year round! We're both very generous with each other though and love to spoil one another with little surprise gifts and treats! The card is always the most important bit though, whatever he writes is worth a million pressies and they're the things we treasure the most from birthdays!

misswex

I think everyone wants their birthday to be acknowledged and its always nice to get a little bit spoiled on the day in question.

Its not about the big money gifts, its more about the thought and reason behind the gift/gesture that is important I think.

wonderingabout

Yes!!
As long as he remembers & makes an effort im happy... it doesnt have to be extravagant!
& he expects the exact same!

LadyMayBelle

I like to think he goes thru a little bit of a sweat to get me something a bit different, something that matches my quirky style or something that only he remembers me saying I would love. Dinner of course would be great but in this "current economic climate" I have to wave bye bye to romantic weekends away ..for now!

I would do the same for him. A lot of girls I know get literally showered in gifts as one poster put it already, even tho they may not be the most well off..so gifts have to be economically sound...but a little extra for the ladies:)

MizzLolly

I wouldn't say I 'expect' a present but I do expect my birthday to at least be acknowledged. That doesn't mean he has to spend a fortune on perfume, dinner, diamonds etc.

For my 18th birthday my boyfriend at the time ditched me/stood me up and went off to a wedding with some other girl. So I rescheduled it (I know, I've got sense since) so I could do something with him but he didn't bother coming to that either. Needless to say, I didn't get anything off of him either. Except realising he was messing around with other people. So in this situation, it was hurtful not getting anything from him but I think that's more because he almost went out of his way to show me he wasn't bothered rather than just doing nothing at all.

If a guy is tight for money then I wouldn't mind at all not getting a pressie. As long as he wrote me a nice card and spent the evening with me. It wouldn't bother me at all! It's the thought that counts so a nicely written card means way more than a guy buying me a €70 bottle of perfume and then fecking off out for the night with his friends.

helimachoptor

With my current GF, we dont do massive presents really apart from xmas. Anniversarys/valentines is dinner but birthdays are normally a gift but it doesnt have to be big.

Kya1976

Never been one for xmas gifts or birthday gifts etc. I'd much rather do something together instead of getting gifts...

PhysiologyRocks

I'm single, but if I did, I wouldn't really be bothered either way. It's just a birthday.

CathyMoran

For me some kind of acknowledgment of my birthday and his is important. We always do a small gesture for one another every day but do a bigger one for our birthdays.

topsi

I think its all quite relative, i know some couples who make big extravagent efforts for birthdays, and others who might not feel the need to buy each other a pressie cos they might be strapped for cash. If theres a mutual understanding its ok, and nobody feels put out. Personally, I get a kick from putting thought into his birthday present, or getting him something that hes been yapping on about for ages :-D.. and i would look forward to birthday pressie... but i would agree that whatever the scenario, birthdays should at least be acknowledged..!

Wurly

I like to feel special on my birthday. I dont need a fancy present or anything like that. But just something that sets apart my birthday from every other day.

I know to some, birthday's aren't a big deal. They are to me. It's my day, dammit!!:pac:

PhysiologyRocks

CathyMoran wrote: »

For me some kind of acknowledgment of my birthday and his is important. We always do a small gesture for one another every day but do a bigger one for our birthdays.

I like the idea of a small gesture every day. My gripe with fuss on a birthday is that it is sometimes a replacement for everyday affection/attention. Obviously it's not in your case and I think that's brilliant.

ilovelove

Hi girls,

Just a quick question, i love all the effort and zing aswell but amnt a big pressie person, i prefer effort. On my birthday my boyfriend spent the whole weekend with his mates, one of the nights i ended up sitting in alone it felt like crap. Now we were only going out a few months but i still expected him to make some kind of effort or gesture but he didnt, he didnt even call. we're still togeather, his birthday is coming up and ive always made a huge effort for any boyfriends birthday but i don actually think i want to for him. im still reeling inside about what he did on my birthday i know thats petty but thats how i feel. He very rarely does anything nice for me unless he's going to benefit so i out of spite i dont want to bother with his birthday? is that terribly wrong? dont get me wrong hes a really nice guy but can be quite petty and selfish at time and he doesnt believe in the whole act of romance, somthing i actually live for.

Any advice would be great, thanks!

Lorrs33

I suppose it seems kind of selfish if you expect your boyfriend to buy you presents, but for me personally, if my boyfriend didn't get me something, or just organised something for me, I'd feel disappointed. I mean, you're obviously going to counter it on his birthday.

MizzLolly

ilovelove wrote: »

Hi girls,

Just a quick question, i love all the effort and zing aswell but amnt a big pressie person, i prefer effort. On my birthday my boyfriend spent the whole weekend with his mates, one of the nights i ended up sitting in alone it felt like crap. Now we were only going out a few months but i still expected him to make some kind of effort or gesture but he didnt, he didnt even call. we're still togeather, his birthday is coming up and ive always made a huge effort for any boyfriends birthday but i don actually think i want to for him. im still reeling inside about what he did on my birthday i know thats petty but thats how i feel. He very rarely does anything nice for me unless he's going to benefit so i out of spite i dont want to bother with his birthday? is that terribly wrong? dont get me wrong hes a really nice guy but can be quite petty and selfish at time and he doesnt believe in the whole act of romance, somthing i actually live for.

Any advice would be great, thanks!

Stand up for yourself missus. I know this is more of a PI but I had similar happen to me (if you read I posted a few pages back) and yet I still went and made a huge effort for his birthday. And he ripped me off again the same day. Don't go bending over backwards for this guy if he's giving you no positives back.

Also, no point in quitely reeling over it and feeling worse. Tell him how you feel. Stand your ground, it could be that he doesn't even realise he upset you.

ilovelove

Thanks, i needed to hear that! its what i think myself! I actually have told him and he just laughs at it and says to get over it, he doesnt ever realise when he hurts me and he constantly does selfish things like this. I never thought i was the type of person to accept it but i think i have, well ive recently stopped, but its a long road. Im not talking just about the birthday here i mean the relationship in general. unless it suits him its not happening, he never does anything out of his way for me. in fact we never do anything full stop. if we do he makes the plans and tells me, doesnt ask. anyway sure rant over.

I read your Post Miss Lolly and your man sounds like a total ****er. I hope hes out of your like for good, you dont need that type hanging around!