Are you afraid?

Victor

I've been reading a few things recently and one thing that struck me was how some people feel afraid, going about their daily lives. Now I'm not talking about when they hear things go bump at night or walking down a dark alleyway, but ordinary day to day stuff like walking down the street or talking to someone you don't know. Each of the people expressing fear was a woman.

Sure, I have my own fears - needles, dead people, stuff like that, but they aren't everday.

How afraid are you in your day to day life?

Banter Joe

Depends on whether or not I have the Fear.

As this is Sunday, I'm terrified :eek:

Latchy

I am not so much afraid but when walking around any city at night I tend to become more aware of who's around me and would avoid to much eye contact with peeps but I imagine that's the norm for many of us .




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fits

Afraid of what exactly? Random attacks or accidents happening? I cant say I walk down the street in fear of something like that. I'm not even afraid of needles or the like. I have a slight fear of being taken out by some stupid driver when I'm on the road but its not huge.

My fears would be more life fears... about my family or my career or things like that. But I wouldn't even consider those significant.

Khannie

Victor: Your mates survey is closed.

I'm not afraid of anything really, not that I can think of anyway. I'm certainly not living in fear. I think people worry too much about bad things happening.

sam34

i dont go around the place afraid, as such, but i do have a good awareness and observation of everything going on around me, and i think i have a heightened sense fo personal security and safety.

im probably more conscious than the average person of doing things that moght be in any way dodgy.

Wibbs

I would have contextual fear or awareness. I mean if say a tiger jumped out of a bush at me I would leave a high speed trail of poo(puts big cats right off, so a good tip should it happen to you...) That's healthy enough. I think it's unhealthy when it's non contextual. Phobias and such. Though even there with many phobias I can see the logic. Fear of heights is sensible enough as falling from heights isn't exactly healthy. Ditto with fear of dentists as they are "damaging" you and causing pain/discomfort even if it's obviously helping.

I would agree though. A lot of people do seem to live on their nerves. Low level background fear with no real contextual basis to it.

Red Hand

Wibbs wrote: »

I would have contextual fear or awareness. I mean if say a tiger jumped out of a bush at me I would leave a high speed trail of poo(puts big cats right off, so a good tip should it happen to you...) .

Many big cats roll themselves in herbivore dung so as to disguise their smell when stalking said herbivores.;)

No, I wouldn't be afraid of stuff. Would be more cautious with my eyes open in certain situations-walking around a strange town at night etc.

Wibbs

Damned lucky I'm not a vegetarian then.

Red Hand

I'm sure it will work for omnivores too!:pac:

Clank

fits wrote: »

Afraid of what exactly? Random attacks or accidents happening? I cant say I walk down the street in fear of something like that. I'm not even afraid of needles or the like. I have a slight fear of being taken out by some stupid driver when I'm on the road but its not huge.

Needles do it for me.....*shudders*
Otherwise though no fears whatsoever.

Pythia

I'm afraid of walking around town at night on my own. Not used to it and all the junkies/homeless/drunk people scare me. I also work on the Green and wouldn't walk through certain parts of it on my own, even on lunch, as I know a few people who have been mugged in there.

Rhyme

Not trying to be a cocky badass (because I'm not, 5' 10", slim guy with glasses) but I only feel fear when given a really good reason to be afraid.

If I'm walking along on my own and I pass a group of threatening folks, I'll be more aware of them, not afraid. If I'm with friends and we pass said group of threatening people, I'd be more afraid of them trying something with one of my friends than with me.

I can see the reasoning behind a lot of the fear people might feel over things like that, it just doesn't click with me. It might be unknowing recklessness on my part, I just don't know since it's never been any different.

I have my own set of fears and phobias, they just don't come into play in the normal course of a day.

Will

Neither afraid or unafraid going about my everyday life. Take the old approach I was told when I was a kid about creepy crawlies; That they're more afraid of me than I am of them :pac:

Can't let fear limit your day to day life, if you do it isn't much of one then is it?

Faith

I'm somewhat afraid. I am very aware of what and who is around me, and I tend to anticipate the worst. For example, about 6 weeks ago, I went for a walk at about 8pm on a nice sunny evening. I went down by the Atlantic pond in Cork, and then headed along the old railway line towards Rochestown, via Mahon. It's usually full of walkers but that night it was really quiet. There was a guy walking in front of me, dressed in a tracksuit with his hood up. I held back behind him, and he occasionally glanced back at me. About a kilometre from where my exit from the line was, just at the border of Mahon, I saw a group of about 10 guys in tracksuits and hoodies run down from the bushes just by my exit, and loiter there. I slowed down more, and the guy in front of me joined the group. I felt really nervous - a blonde girl on her own, dressed in pink and clutching an ipod. If I'd been with another person, I'd have been fine, or if there was a lot of other people out walking, I'd have been fine. Instead, I got to within about 300m of the group and just felt to scared to walk past them on a deserted path. I ended up turning around and going back the way I came.

Now, chances are I would have been fine, but I wasn't willing to take that chance. They were probably just bored kids, but they could have been bored scumbags out for trouble. So as I said, I tend to assume the worst in the interests of my own safety. I generally wouldn't be afraid until something makes me afraid, if that makes sense? That night, I didn't think "I shouldn't walk down there on the off-chance there's scumbags", and wasn't afraid until I saw the group. So yeah, I'm somewhat afraid and have a heightened sense of what could happen.

rannerap

Ive never haf anything bad happen to me when im out so i dont really have any fear,probably not wise to walk home late at night by yourself in tallaght when your a girl or anywhere really for that matter,but it doesnt bother me.I dont have any other phobias really at all,needles are great,i hate the dentist/otrhodontist but i have to go weekly almost,i think heights are deadly.The only thing that im ever fearful of seeing when im out and such its rats or mich,but even thats due to a few incidents i had involving them:(

ztoical

My only fear is dentists and not too many of them lurking behind bushes waiting to jump out at me so spend my days pretty unafraid.

pikachucheeks

I'm afraid when I'm walking round town on my own, because I got mugged before. I just feel vulnerable on my own, in certain parts of the city.
If I'm walking to meet my friends in a bar in the evening especially. So many dodgy characters around!

I try not to live my life in fear though! A wise man once told me never to be afraid and to honour him, I've always tried to be as brave as I can and never to let being scared of something hold me back in life.

I get nervous walking down the halls in my college sometimes, I get paranoid if I see groups of people whispering and chatting when I'm walking by, or if people look at me. Probably means nothing, but sometimes, I do worry! I'm silly like that.

Nightwish

I'm never afraid. I dont know if it's foolish or not, but I think it could be down to living in the dodgier parts of Dublin when I was in college. I live back in Kilkenny now and I'd have no problem walking home after a night out. Even when I lived in Dublin, I always walked around on my own and never felt intimidated. I travel to various parts of Europe a few time a year on my own, and I go walk around the cities on my own, sometimes at night, after a gig, and again, I'm not bothered at all.

whatdoicare

I live in Limerick- I feel pretty much trapped in my home once it gets dark. I lived in Spain and Oz and used to go jogging at eleven at night quite happily- here even with a car I never feel quite 100% safe on my own.

ztoical

Nightwish wrote: »

I live back in Kilkenny now and I'd have no problem walking home after a night out.

Unless you have to walk up John St at the end of the night in which case it can be scary watching all the hen and stag people falling all over and vomiting on themselves

Nightwish

ztoical wrote: »

Unless you have to walk up John St at the end of the night in which case it can be scary watching all the hen and stag people falling all over and vomiting on themselves

No thankfully I dont live in that direction. Even at that, I dont fear the drunken zombies. I just laugh at them.

DancingQueen:)

Im a teenage girl and wasnt really scared until i got mugged a couple of weeks ago. Now im aware of everything around me maybe a bit more than i should be but don't want anything to happen again. I guess if you think your going to get mugged walking past a group of people it could happen. I was told to walk confident and tall but in my opinion if someone wants to attack you they will regardless of the way you walk.

annabellee77

I could probably do with being more "afraid". Am never worried about anything or going anywhere unless something actually happens.....:o

ztoical

DancingQueen:) wrote: »

Im a teenage girl and wasnt really scared until i got mugged a couple of weeks ago. Now im aware of everything around me maybe a bit more than i should be but don't want anything to happen again. I guess if you think your going to get mugged walking past a group of people it could happen. I was told to walk confident and tall but in my opinion if someone wants to attack you they will regardless of the way you walk.

sorry to hear you got mugged DQ and it's true if someone wants to attack they will...I got mugged several years ago in Dublin and I certainly wasn't walking scared. I think it's important not to let something like that control your life and how you live, I don't mean people should go running around all willy nilly with no worries, have sense and don't have your wallet/phone/ipod hanging out and stuff like that and walk confident.

panda100

I always feel quite safe walking late at night in city's. I love walking at nighttime in Dublin, theres a lovely stillness that makes it easier to appreciate the wonderful sights and sounds of the city.

I regularly walk home very late at night through what would be deemed as 'rough' parts of the city and have never had a problem. I think the fact that Im 6'1 is a bit of a deterrent. I grew up in London so have been street savy since a young age. I think If you keep your wits about you then there is no need to be afraid.

chocgirl

I'd say somewhat afraid. It's mainly personal safety that I'd be anxious of.

I suppose I avoid putting myself in any dodgy situations as much as possible. I rarely walk anywhere alone in the dark no matter what kind of area it is.

Also always check my back seat before I start driving, just a glance but I never forget. Little things like that.

Snowie

Its good to have a few fears it heightens your sences.
I dont really fear people granted 7 people kicking the living daylights out of me sounds pretty scary but on hole not really, you have a choice you can let whats happening to you happen or you can fight,I'd rather stand my ground I'd probably loose but at least I know I stood up for my self.

I do how ever think human beings have gotten them selves in to a cotton wool sleeping bags and are some what arrogant to nature and how destructive those forces are in general life but not only that I think children in general are being over protected bye modern society. I means as in play grounds they have that soft padding so when they fall they don't hurt them selves they don't cut there knee thus when they do land on something that hurts they cry like a baby.

But in total I don't think its healthy in the long run of thing's. people need to learn about risk that everyday you take risks and they need to feel physical pain as well as the feeling of how very insigneifanct we are on this planet.

Agent Smith

I'm a big guy, and well capable of looking after myself if push comes to shove, but there are a number of places where you really would stupid not to feel a little bit wary.

the same basic rule counts for all people. stay in well lit, crowded places. Dont be wandering down a lane at 4am for the 5 min shortcut, when theres a well lit road thats on your way anyway.

RacoonQueen

Never. Walked around town etc on my own in the small hours of the morning without a problem. If I was walking towards a group I'd probably just think 'they'll probably just shout something stupid at me' as oppossed to being actually scared of them. I have a friend who is afraid of EVERYTHING, there was a stage where she wouldn't get in a taxi unless it was ordered, she wouldn't come to my friends house after his party because 'it was a strangers house' and other **** like that.

Hagar

What an incredibly sad question. Ordinary people should be able to live without fear. It's a clear indication that our society is failing if people are afraid in their day to day lives.

Kiith

I wouldnt ever really be afraid. I dont let myself get scared/worried about something that might possibly happen. I can be stubborn that way. Thats not to say that i'm not aware or cautious when the situation calls for it. But I've gotten in a few situations in my life, that maybe could have been avoided if i had been more careful/less stubborn. A little fear isnt a bad thing from time to time.

Its kind of easier for me to have that attitude though, as i'm a fairly big guy.

Khannie

chocgirl wrote: »

Also always check my back seat before I start driving, just a glance but I never forget. Little things like that.

That's just in horror movies you know. I think it's really unfortunate that you feel the need to do that.

Latchy

I would replace the word fear with 'more aware ' which is a natural reaction to all the bad news we hear all the time with stabbings ,shootings , muggings .As the saying goes 'the only real fear is of fear itself ' .Obiously if you live in a bad area or neighborhood your sense of danger might be highlighted more ( or blown out of proportion ) depending on the individual .If you walk around appearing nervous all the time it will show, so possibly making you a softer target to those who intimidate or prey on the weak .I do not let anybody or anything intimadate me in my daily lfe but that is not to say that I couldn't find myself in an akward situation ,same as anybody anywere .

SeekUp

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I'm afraid when I'm walking round town on my own, because I got mugged before. I just feel vulnerable on my own, in certain parts of the city.

DancingQueen:) wrote: »

Im a teenage girl and wasnt really scared until i got mugged a couple of weeks ago. Now im aware of everything around me maybe a bit more than i should be but don't want anything to happen again.

Logically, it just makes sense that your "afraidness" level is somewhat proportionate to the reasons and experiences you've had to be afraid. I'd definitely think that once something scary happens to you, you'd be a bit more fearful of it happening again as opposed to someone who hasn't had anything scary happen to them.

Many people are just afraid because we've had scary stuff implanted in our minds for years, things to be cautious of, and wary about . . . yes, it's common sense to not go around flashing your valuables or cut through dark alleyways at night, but we're also told to walk with keys in between your fingers (in case we need to use them as a weapon!), and not to stop for a stranger on the side of the road when you're driving alone (it could be a trick!), and to ask the security guard to go with you to your car in a dark parking lot (you could get attacked!). It's good to be prepared, but I think it leaves a lot of us looking over our shoulder a lot of the time, whether or not we're actually afraid.

chocgirl wrote: »

Also always check my back seat before I start driving, just a glance but I never forget. Little things like that.

Khannie wrote: »

That's just in horror movies you know. I think it's really unfortunate that you feel the need to do that.

Hey, I do it too. I also check under my car -- for the same reason that I check the house before I lock up at night. In spite of this, I still wouldn't say I'm particularly afraid . . . but I am careful.

chocgirl

Khannie wrote: »

That's just in horror movies you know. I think it's really unfortunate that you feel the need to do that.

Yeah I hope you're right, it does sound a bit mad reading back over it but ya never know like I said only a glance:)

Khannie

SeekUp wrote: »

I also check under my car

What do you expect to (potentially) find there?

SeekUp

Nothing, realistically. :rolleyes:

But when I started driving, my parents just told me to check around my car before getting in (perhaps just in case anyone was hoping to take advantage of a teenage girl).

Just stuck with me, I suppose . . .

Khannie

SeekUp wrote: »

Nothing, realistically. :rolleyes:

I wasn't being a bollix. It was a genuine question. I was trying to understand why you'd bother like.

The Big Red Button

I have my own weird little phobias, but I'm definitely not afraid on a day-to-day basis. If I'm walking through town or whatever on my own, I'm generally just away in my own little world in my head, rather than worrying what's going on around me :rolleyes:

Having said that, I do take sensible precautions. I don't go around with any valuables obviously on display. If I have to walk somewhere alone at night, I make a point of being aware of what's happening around me and I'll always have arranged to call/text someone to let them know I've arrived wherever I'm going. If I'm getting into my car in a deserted area at night, I make a point of locking the doors immediately when I get in (I babysit a good bit so often end up out and about late at night.) But in my opinion that's all common sense, in specific situations, rather than excessive paranoia about being attacked.

Unfortunately I have let my guard down when I've been drinking in the past. It hasn't happened often, and I've been lucky in that I've never been attacked or anything because of it, but I've done stupid things like walking home alone and drunk through dodgy areas at 3 in the morning, and going home with strangers (many years ago before I met my fiance!) But hey, I was young and stupid and have hopefully learned my lessons!

I'd hate to live in a constant state of fear. I just can't imagine it. Maybe I'm a little bit naive, but I'd rather be naive and carefree than to be always afraid of what's around the next corner. Bad things can and do happen no matter how careful you are, so you might as well relax (within reason!) and enjoy life.

SeekUp

Khannie wrote: »

I wasn't being a bollix. It was a genuine question. I was trying to understand why you'd bother like.

Oh, I know, I figured! 'Tis why I answered honestly.

Dolbert

Nope, I'm probably way too oblivious for my own good! Lived alone for a year and that bever bothered me either... My family home is way out in the country and the back door is always open all day. Ah, the trust

PhysiologyRocks

I'm not afraid, but then again, I'm very careful (within reason, I'll happily walk alone in the daytime etc.). If I weren't careful, I'd probably be afraid.

meganj

I'm afraid! I'm afraid of lots of things..

I live in Maynooth, which is lovely and I feel perfectly safe here, provided I'm not sober and walking down the main street at half four in the morning surrounded by drunk fupppers.

I grew up in Dublin and I love Dublin with all my heart, I've been mugged 6 times, the most recent one the guy pushed me and I broke my ankle so I suppose I'm a bit shaken up about that.

This is going to sound really weird but since I met my OH who's very protective and very scary looking sometimes I'm actually more scared without him then before I met him, I dunno whether its just he makes me feel safe or maybe i'm just really really paranoid and crazy. I also have a fear of falling, which means that I'm afraid of tripping myself up and falling flat on my face so that can be worrying on a daily basis!

Wow.. reading that back I really am paranoid :eek:

allandanyways

I'm very afraid of alot of day to day things, and it's stuff I can't avoid,

For example, the childminding I do, I'm scared of the dogs that are in the house, they jump up and bark for no reason and get really angry at each other and they bark really aggressivley at me when I'm cooking and stuff. I HATE dogs anyway but these ones make me so nervous...

I hate crossing the road, saw someone get runover at a zebra crossing once and it shook me up alot, I'm having alot of problems with my teeth atm, so am terrified of dentists and of my teeth falling out... I'm generally quite aware and afraid of having no money, how I'm going to afford college, afraid for my parents and how they're coping with their own problems (mum just got over alot of heart trouble so that's still on my mind) etc etc

And then I worry alot aswell, about terrorism, about making people happy, about my siblings, about everything really... but although it may seem that I'm burdened down with all this, it's just kinda something that's at the back of my mind all the time, and then stuff like the dogs just make me really jumpy.

I think I should lie down :rolleyes:

Khannie

meganj wrote: »

I've been mugged 6 times

You should probably learn a bit about what muggers look for. I was mugged a bunch of times as a youngfella, but not once in the last 10 years. I have a bit more cop on / awareness. I'm also bigger (I was very skinny as a youngfella). In short, I'm less of a soft target than I used to be.

meganj

Khannie wrote: »

You should probably learn a bit about what muggers look for. I was mugged a bunch of times as a youngfella, but not once in the last 10 years. I have a bit more cop on / awareness. I'm also bigger (I was very skinny as a youngfella). In short, I'm less of a soft target than I used to be.

I have a feeling I just have some sort of victim sign stamped on my forehead! I do tend to be very unaware of my surroundings mainly because I'm so concious of where I'm putting my feet in case I fall over!!!

My muggings (bar the last one) have never been that bad, usually because I just hand over my stuff without any complaints, it's rare that I have anything stolen of value, mostly because I never have any money I have learnt though to keep my phone in a pocket, some cash in another pocket and everything else useless in my handbag.

I'm not that trusting of a person, so I'd consider myself unafraid. My attitude is "what happens, happens. Deal with it." I'd love to say that I'd be unflinching in the face of danger, but sinnce I've never been put to the test, I can't really say that.

Now as for being afraid of women, now that's a different story.........

(PI forum thataway.....)