caught out on email

snowy2008

i work with a girl whos polish and her fella works here too, she sent me an email in polish meant for him and realised what she had done and told me to ignore it, out of curiosity i got it translated and it was really really bitchy (about me) and now shes being overly nice to me now, should i let her know that i know what that email meant, moral of the story, dont make friends in work!

hobochris

Id keep my mouth shut and act like nothing happened, then when she steps out of line or something you have ammunition with the boss.

Lafortezza

How harshly was she bitching about you? She knows that once you received it you would find exactly what it said, so she knows that you know... Depending what her problems are with you, I'd do nothing, fix whatever her problem is, or report it to a higher up if its particularly nasty. If you confront her and ask her about it she will probably say "Oh I'm so sorry you received that , I didn't mean it etc etc"

KTRIC

Don't say a thing to her and send the email to HR. I'm sure they'll have words with her about it.

I detest this office bitching shoite :mad:

WIZE

teresa2008 wrote: »

i work with a girl whos polish and her fella works here too, she sent me an email in polish meant for him and realised what she had done and told me to ignore it, out of curiosity i got it translated and it was really really bitchy (about me) and now shes being overly nice to me now, should i let her know that i know what that email meant, moral of the story, dont make friends in work!

Save the email

Sh1t will hit the fan later so keep it if you want to get her kicked out

mehmeh12

I agree, she sounds like a asshole. Dont bother with her.

DarkJager

If its particularly nasty, and also in a foreign language to disguise it, then thats more than likely a sackable offence. Forward the email to HR and let them deal with it.

snowy2008

she was calling me a fat b itch and she hopes i lose my job, shes all over me like a rash now and wants to know if im ok coz i look angry, one word springs to mind, RUINED!!! seriously, she used to be really nice and then shes sends me this, i want to rip her head off but im liking letting her stew, im only giving her one word answers, im actually smiling her to myself coz i know shes freaking out, like this is the same girl that wanted me to go out with her last weekend, how two faced is that?!

DarkJager

teresa2008 wrote: »

she was calling me a fat b itch and she hopes i lose my job, shes all over me like a rash now and wants to know if im ok coz i look angry, one word springs to mind, RUINED!!! seriously, she used to be really nice and then shes sends me this, i want to rip her head off but im liking letting her stew, im only giving her one word answers, im actually smiling her to myself coz i know shes freaking out, like this is the same girl that wanted me to go out with her last weekend, how two faced is that?!

Out with her. Send it to HR.

snowy2008

ah im going to let her stew, we dont have a hr dept, its just our boss, what annoys me is how nice she is to my face and then calls me names, and im not even fat!!!!!! i find alot of girls in work like that in general, its so nasty!

Mena

Are you sure your translation was correct and you were actually the one being spoken about?

snowy2008

translation was correct, my friend is polish and translated it for me, there was stuff in the email i told her and told her to keep quiet but it was all in there, she calls me a horrible name in it too, im just shocked, she knows somethings up, can i just say to her if she asks me something "if its work related then ask" or is that just playing into her hands?

gudbuzz

send her an email 'as gaeilge' describing exactly what a two faced cow you think she is and pretend it was for some one else. tell her to ignore it, but also send a link at the bottom of the email to help her translate it. other than that i wouldnt even bring it up! u will have had a full blown argument in different languages without ever having had to confront her or either acknowledge what was said. ha!

LegacyUser

OP, you sound like an office bitch yourself.

First off, why did you translate the email when you knew it was meant for her husband? Thats a pretty sneaky thing to do.

Then you give out about her bitching to her husband about you, while at the same time your bitching about her on an internet forum, and coming up with ways of 'letting her stew' more effectively.

Cop yourself on and get back to work.

snowy2008

fantastic!!! i wouldnt even waste my time doing that tho, shes unreal!!! she was so nice at the start, i wonder how long shes being doing it, and i used to give her fruit and lifts places, well thats all going to stop, i find alot of girls like this and i only have a handful of friends, does anyone else find this in the work place

John_Mc

teresa2008 wrote: »

translation was correct, my friend is polish and translated it for me, there was stuff in the email i told her and told her to keep quiet but it was all in there, she calls me a horrible name in it too, im just shocked, she knows somethings up, can i just say to her if she asks me something "if its work related then ask" or is that just playing into her hands?

Don't bother I say, keep it at one word answers and she'll know you got it translated. Total head melter for her but she deserves no less!

snowy2008

its ridiculous, she keeps looking over at me and sighing trying to get my attention, im just refusing to acknowledge her, i just cant get over it

syklops

teresa2008 wrote: »

fantastic!!! i wouldnt even waste my time doing that tho, shes unreal!!! she was so nice at the start, i wonder how long shes being doing it, and i used to give her fruit and lifts places, well thats all going to stop, i find alot of girls like this and i only have a handful of friends, does anyone else find this in the work place

No wonder you only have a handful of friends if you go around reading emails destined for other people.

gudbuzz

ah no i wouldnt actually be bothered doing that myself was only messing really.. seriously u should probably have a quiet word with her about it sometime at the end of the day tell her you know what she said and that you found it quite insulting and that you'd rather leave the chit chat small talk out in future but keep things civil as u have to work with her. wouldnt make a huge deal about it she is only a colleaugue and was never really a 'real' friend... count yourself lucky that theres a bit of drama going on! i work with the village people and am so bored every day in work cos theres no one to talk too!!!

Bluefoam

TBH, stay polite to her, but thats all - don't go out of your way for her. Keep your relationship business like & don't engage on a personal level.

Don't mention the email, but keep a copy in case anything occurs in the future - then produce it & claim that she has been leading a bullying campaign agianst you for a long period of time...

gudbuzz

syklops wrote: »

No wonder you only have a handful of friends if you go around reading emails destined for other people.

oh come on! who wouldnt. i dont care if that makes me nosy, thats the way i am and most people are. seriously if had been read on the other girls sent box then that is really bad form but she read it on her own inbox so fair game really...

herya

teresa2008 wrote: »

its ridiculous, she keeps looking over at me and sighing trying to get my attention, im just refusing to acknowledge her, i just cant get over it

Stop posting on boards at work or you'll be in trouble just as she is, she'll have leverage against you too.

snowy2008

and how is that? explain please

Babooshka

Be very careful with emails. They stand as evidence in court etc. so don't do what anyone suggested about retaliation, even though they meant it in jest. Remain professional and if you don't wish to speak to her, don't. But I would confront my Manager with it, print it out and keep a copy and delete your internet history as well. Explain that you feel it is harrasment and that you are upset and traumatised if you feel that strongly about it, it is, after all a personal attack.

Stupid cow. I worked with someone like that, used to tell me that all the girls in the office were fat or ugly, except me and one other girl and that was meant to be a compliment, taken as a nice thing to say. Obsessed with herself and a complete pain in the nads, but then, I never became friends with her, because I thought she was a twat...be more selective in future! Good luck, try stay as professional as you can.

trustno1

What I would personally do (being an adult and all) is go to your boss (without her knowing) explain to him what happened. Tell him that you don't particularly want anything done to her - but you just want him to be aware of it in case the situation gets any worse (as they say for bullying and the likes - you have to keep a note of things). Then walk up to her and tell her that you had the email translated, you know what she has said and that you would appreciate it if she kept any contact with you to a minimum. Rise above it.. we left school a long time ago. Don't drag yourself to her level by doing anything petty.

Bluefoam

trustno1 wrote: »

What I would personally do (being an adult and all) is go to your boss (without her knowing) explain to him what happened. Tell him that you don't particularly want anything done to her - but you just want him to be aware of it in case the situation gets any worse (as they say for bullying and the likes - you have to keep a note of things). Then walk up to her and tell her that you had the email translated, you know what she has said and that you would appreciate it if she kept any contact with you to a minimum. Rise above it.. we left school a long time ago. Don't drag yourself to her level by doing anything petty.

I have done something similar in the past - asked for it not to go any further, that I just wanted to register the fact... I ended up being scrutinised by 3 senior members of staff - was seen as a trouble maker & the other employee was seen as a victim because I had raised the issue...

trustno1

Bluefoam wrote: »

I have done something similar in the past - asked for it not to go any further, that I just wanted to register the fact... I ended up being scrutinised by 3 senior members of staff - was seen as a trouble maker & the other employee was seen as a victim because I had raised the issue...

The exact same thing happend to me (in that I too was seen as a trouble maker etc).. but in the end more complaints started to roll in about this person and I was glad that I had dealt with the problem professionally. Most HR departments hate this sort of stuff and generally try bully tactics themselves to stamp out the headache of compliants against members of staff. But she does have an email with nasty content which is her proof which is more than I had.

snowy2008

shes not worth the effort of complaining, were all adults but she has shown her true colours and ive lost any respect that i had for her so she can get lost if she ever wants anything again from me, im past all the trivial bitchi ng, im just going to rise above it, she isnt worth anything, just looked at her there and she looks really worried, haha!

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

herya

herya wrote: »

and how is that? explain please

You are posting on the internet during your working hours and from what you write she can see it. You try to complain about her, she tells them you've just spent an hour discussing it on boards. Who gets bollocking? You both equally.

snowy2008

she cant see what im writing, i havent mentioned names either, i was just annoyed that she would say such horrible things behing my back and tell me how well i look today, how spineless is she

Varkov

Your friend? You went out of your way missy to see what she and her husband were talking about. If thats the way you operate, maybe she has reasons to dislike you.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055622763


No she shouldn't be bitching about it behind your back, but you shouldnt be reading others emails.

Just hang onto it in case anything happens.

Bluefoam

Varkov wrote: »

Your friend? You went out of your way missy to see what she and her husband were talking about. If thats the way you operate, maybe she has reasons to dislike you.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055622763


No she shouldn't be bitching about it behind your back, but you shouldnt be reading others emails.

Just hang onto it in case anything happens.

Are you a mental person?

spurious

Varkov wrote: »

No she shouldn't be bitching about it behind your back, but you shouldnt be reading others emails.

Or passing 'one sentence' on to be translated by an anonymous internet person.

'Ta kobieta ma głowa jak kapusta i szyi jak marchew'
I could translate that as anything at all. Good or bad.

Varkov

spurious wrote: »

Or passing 'one sentence' on to be translated by an anonymous internet person.

'Ta kobieta ma głowa jak kapusta i szyi jak marchew'
I could translate that as anything at all. Good or bad.

Head has as cole it woman and neck as carrot?

Bluefoam wrote: »

Are you a mental person?

I'm sorry, what?

spurious

Varkov wrote: »

Head has as cole it woman and neck as carrot?

Yes - that woman has a head like a cabbage and a neck like a carrot. I could also have 'said' it means 'look at the bazoobas on her'.

The point is, I wouldn't rely on any internet anonymous translation, or indeed online translators. I know to my cost (in the middle of an intensive Polish language course here in Krakow) the words might say one thing, but the totality can be very different.

Regardless - an email clearly meant for someone else shouldn't have been read.

nayorleck114

teresa2008 wrote: »

i work with a girl whos polish and her fella works here too, she sent me an email in polish meant for him and realised what she had done and told me to ignore it, out of curiosity i got it translated and it was really really bitchy (about me) and now shes being overly nice to me now, should i let her know that i know what that email meant, moral of the story, dont make friends in work!

you should not have read the email, Keep your mouth shut. (she should not be using work to send emails to her boyfriend)

eth0_

nayorleck114 wrote: »

you should not have read the email, Keep your mouth shut. (she should not be using work to send emails to her boyfriend)

It obviously had the OP's name in it, otherwise how would she know it was about her??

tbh

eth0_ wrote: »

It obviously had the OP's name in it, otherwise how would she know it was about her??

well this is the big question - did she know/suspect it was about her when she had it translated? I hope for the OP the answer is yes, and that she had good and demonstrable reasons for thinking so.

herya

tbh wrote: »

well this is the big question - did she know/suspect it was about her when she had it translated? I hope for the OP the answer is yes, and that she had good and demonstrable reasons for thinking so.

Even if she could think it was about her, it couldn't be sent to her (as it was written in a language she clearly doesn't know). So her reasons for having it translated can be seen as questionable.

tbh

good point, yeah.

eth0_

herya wrote: »

Even if she could think it was about her, it couldn't be sent to her (as it was written in a language she clearly doesn't know). So her reasons for having it translated can be seen as questionable.

If only everyone was as moral as you :rolleyes:

tbh

eth0_ wrote: »

If only everyone was as moral as you :rolleyes:

I don't think it's a moral thing tbh, more of a thing to consider if you're thinking about going to HR

herya

tbh wrote: »

I don't think it's a moral thing tbh, more of a thing to consider if you're thinking about going to HR

That's what I had in mind actually It's very much a pot-kettle situation.

snowy2008

she sent it to me by accident, her partners name is the same first three letters of mine and she must have done it purely by accident, no harm but when i saw my name i just felt compelled to read it, wouldnt you? she left today looking upset and didnt speak to me, i'll just let it go now, hope she learned her lesson

Hitchhiker's Guide to...

Bluefoam wrote: »

Are you a mental person?

Zero tolerance on personal abuse on this forum. See you in 7 days.

LegacyUser

I don't mean any offence by asking you this but how old are you? IMO you sound like your a teenager and if thats the case then I can understand why your upset...
Otherwise chalk it up to experience and learn a lesson about reading things you shouldn't have...
People write things they don't always mean. She could have just been letting off steam.
Be the bigger person and just move on and know what she's really like now.

But if she does have a plan on getting you sacked keep it for your own back up if not delete it, it'll only bother you even more the longer you look at it or its translation

doolox

First of all trying to find friends at work is futile, they are colleagues to be treated formally at all times and in a professional manner, if it happens that a cordial relationship develops between you and someone at work, treat it as an extra bonus not an expected outcome.
E-mails should be kept for work related things and couched in formal non threatening and non aggressive words. Keep the private stuff out on web-based mail accounts and do not use work accounts for personal things. Network admins do not like their systems being used for personal things which might be illegal or abusive, do not give them the ammunition to disciplne you.
It appears that neither of you are busy enough at work if this thing annoys you and causes you grief. Certainly if youy have time to hear the Polish ones "sighs" and other noises for attention then you are not busy enough in these straitened economic times.

hideous ape

Jeez some of you must work in Soviet style gulags with a network!

In previous and my current office everything from racist jokes to porn gets emailed around...if I don't see tits in a work email at least once a week I think something is seriously wrong.

What if the email was in english...some of you seem to be implying that you are so morally perfect that you would cover your eyes, despite seeing your name in the email and delete it. It's not a moral issue...anything sent to your email account is now your property to read, translate or delete. If my name is in a foreign language email, sent to me accidentally at work then I ask the sender to tell me exactly whats in the email. If I get it translated and it contains insulting content then its fair game for action. Get it printed up in english, translated correctly by a polish person and confront the cow. You'll discover pretty quickly what her character is really like. If her reaction isn't satisfactory to you then bring it to the manager.

Too many Irish people coward out of standing up for themselves by pretending things never happened.

ToasterSparks

Erm. . . what's the deal with people giving out about reading the message? If you receive an email, it's yours to do with as you choose. Besides, how would she have known it wasn't meant for her unless she read some of it? :rolleyes:

If you feel strongly about the contents, and it's affecting you at work, then try to bring the matter up with management. If the email has simply made you realise your co-worker is a be-atch, then ignore it and let her stew. Keep professional at work with her and ignore her socially. Having it out with her will probably affect you more than it'll affect her.

Horrible people are, unfortunately, a fact of life. You're better than her and her bitchy emails.

Bob Z

OP you got an email in a different laguage with your name mentioned on. Of course you were right to read it