The phrase 'Real women'

naasface

What is up with this??
I get the phrase real women means non famous people but since when has it become a synonym for fat?
Im a size 6 and have noticed whenever there is a slim celebrity in the papers or magazines they get slated!!
Saying 'she looks like a boy' 'real women have curves' suggesting its not 'real' to be naturally slim!
Its really unfair and mean tbh, why is society so anti-skinny??

There's all talk about society being anti fat but in reality we are very accommodating to overweight people. Big women are rarely slated because it's not pc but slim/skinny people its a different story!!
So am i not a real woman because i don't have rolls of flab and a huge chest?!
I know this is a bit of a rant and rave but i'm just curious to see what the other ladies think.

WindSock

It is a stupid phrase, but I don't think it means real women are overweight, I think it's supposed to be directed at women who don't starve themselves half to death in order to look skinny. Having a bit of meat on your hips/thighs/arse is natural on the 'average' woman. But it doesn't make you any more or less real if you do or don't. I would rather do away with silly phrases like these.

This

the press just use words and phrases to attract attention to their product.. and those people stupid enough to take notice of it.

one minute a real women is a size 6 next its a size 14... and ching ching the balance of these companies are going up up up

a real woman is someone who is confident in themsleves and has a happy life... imho

jellie

has this not been done before? i feel like ive read it a million times

naasface wrote: »

There's all talk about society being anti fat but in reality we are very accommodating to overweight people. Big women are rarely slated because it's not pc but slim/skinny people its a different story!!
So am i not a real woman because i don't have rolls of flab and a huge chest?!
I know this is a bit of a rant and rave but i'm just curious to see what the other ladies think.

youre going on about society being anti-skinny but to be honest you sound fairly anti-fat in what you say above - "rolls of flab" etc.

i would take "real woman" to mean that not every woman is perfect but is accepted and happy with it.

ButterflyGirl23

naasface wrote: »

What is up with this??
I get the phrase real women means non famous people but since when has it become a synonym for fat?
Im a size 6 and have noticed whenever there is a slim celebrity in the papers or magazines they get slated!!
Saying 'she looks like a boy' 'real women have curves' suggesting its not 'real' to be naturally slim!
Its really unfair and mean tbh, why is society so anti-skinny??

There's all talk about society being anti fat but in reality we are very accommodating to overweight people. Big women are rarely slated because it's not pc but slim/skinny people its a different story!!
So am i not a real woman because i don't have rolls of flab and a huge chest?!
I know this is a bit of a rant and rave but i'm just curious to see what the other ladies think.

Thank you Naasface, I have thought this for ages! It's insane and the reason why I keep well away from trashy magazines.
You are a real woman, be proud of your size 6 frame. Also remember that there are "real women" out there that would kill for your figure!

Malari

Yes, it's been done before, example:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055328343&highlight=real+women

monkeyfudge

I'd always taken it to mean a woman who hasn't been through a few dozen photoshop filters before being slapped on the cover of a magazine.

pikachucheeks

naasface wrote: »

What is up with this??
I get the phrase real women means non famous people but since when has it become a synonym for fat?

I think it refers more to women having imperfections, lumps and bumps, rather than being fat.

Every woman is a real woman - real in the sense we're human and none of us are perfect, regardless of how "skinny" or "fat" we are, to use your terminology.

I think the term was coined as a backlash to the photoshopped facades, created by the media. The airbrushing and picture manipulation of "real" women were leading to nothing but hyper-real imagery and complete fabrications of what woman actually are.

neuro-praxis

naasface why do I feel you have some kind of agenda here? Considering that your food diary was pretty much shut down in the Nutrition and Diary forum because you were trying to lose weight by eating approx 800kcals a day, while already being underweight.

The idea that the world rejects skinny women is just laughable.

Imo, "real women" is a marketing phrase that means nothing. You're either a woman or you're not. And btw, women are great! :pac:

Wibbs

neuro-praxis it would be appreciated if stuff from other forums was not brought here. Thanks

Fugly

I don't read "trashy" mags at all. I don't give a toss about celeb news and although I do like fashion I don't care about the people and yet get told by women who class themselves as "real women" as being ignorant or stupidly duped by a form of media I don't even engage in. :mad:

I've been over weight and slim and I found when slim ppl would freely comment on my body in a negative way where as when overweight I only ever recieved 3 comments from ppl. All comments hurt equally regardless of my size/shape.I have found people find it acceptable to comment negatively on slim girls.

I worked in an office 80% females a range of body types from very slender to morbidly obese. And while an innocent comment about food/health to/about a larger lady (would you like a slice of cake)would cause uproar and was a lynchable offence people commenting on a slim lady in rather bitter way, {what they were eating/ how much} loudly to the whole staff room or talked about later across the office.

"Did you see X ate 3 danishes?! It'll catch up with her one day. I mean her cholesterol must be sky high! That girl needs to learn to eat heathily" {said by an obese lady}.

I can't see the reverse going down well!
"Did you see X ate 3 danishes?! . I mean her tummy/ass is huge! That girl needs to learn to eat heathily"

At my heaviest I was over 12.5 st and joined a fitness class the other girls in the group were 15st plus and every week all class long comment after comment, after six weeks I stopped going.

All of the girls in that class were very much in the camp of real women are curvey, yet they defined curves as rolls, despite it being unhealthy.
NO unhealthy shape should be praised or held up as the IDEAL whether that be underweight or overweight.

IzzyWizzy

I dunno, I also notice how this phrase is used in magazines and in real life by bigger women. I had a friend who always used to say it and I found it really rude, to be honest. It DOES sort of imply that women with slim figures are somehow less womanly. In the friend's case, she was insecure about her size and putting down skinny women made her feel better. It's just more socially accepable to say 'god she's so skinny' than 'look at her, she's massive.' If you call someone out on the former, they'll say it was supposed to be a compliment, no matter how snide the tone was :rolleyes:

Blush_01

In my opinion, humble as it is, "The phrase 'Real women'" is very similar to the idea Monkeyfudge has of it. A real woman is someone who hasn't been passed through so many airbrush filters that they're no longer recognisable as themselves and instead need to be distinguished by their name on the magazine cover. I by no means think someone slim or not-so-slim is less of a woman because of their size. Then again, I - possibly mistakenly - think there should be more to life than how you look.

ztoical

monkeyfudge wrote: »

I'd always taken it to mean a woman who hasn't been through a few dozen photoshop filters before being slapped on the cover of a magazine.

+1 There was something in the news a few months back about some famous actress having photos put on a magazine website before they were photoshopped by mistake and then quickly taken down and replaced with the "fixed" images and alot people commented that she looked fine without the photoshop work but they still touched up her photos.

"Real woman" also refers to women who have to deal with jobs and kids without the aid of a nanny and personnal trainner.

There's all talk about society being anti fat but in reality we are very accommodating to overweight people. Big women are rarely slated because it's not pc but slim/skinny people its a different story!!.

Really? so when you walk down the street you get young lads driving by in their car roll down the window and yell abuse at you for being skinny? Don't make comments about something you know nothing about.

monkeyfudge

The poster for Underworld was photoshopped as well.

Kate Beckinsale is a very fetching looking lady... did they really think people wouldn't go see the film because her boobs didn't look big enough on the poster?

If anything they shouldn't go to see it as the film was a pile of sh*te...

allabouteve

naasface wrote: »

Its really unfair and mean tbh, why is society so anti-skinny??
There's all talk about society being anti fat but in reality we are very accommodating to overweight people.

Can't agree with you there.

So am i not a real woman because i don't have rolls of flab and a huge chest?!

And there you are making my point for me.:pac:

Wibbs

Zascar another comment like that and you'll be taking a break from here. Post deleted.

ztoical

Fugly wrote: »

I've been over weight and slim and I found when slim ppl would freely comment on my body in a negative way where as when overweight I only ever recieved 3 comments from ppl. All comments hurt equally regardless of my size/shape.I have found people find it acceptable to comment negatively on slim girls.

Wow where do you live cus I should move there. I'm overweight and I get comments all day everyday from family, friends and strangers on the street - I think most of the people on here claiming to have been overweight not have got negative comments about are confused about their weight and were most likely a healthy weight hence why no one commented.

Fugly wrote: »

All of the girls in that class were very much in the camp of real women are curvey, yet they defined curves as rolls, despite it being unhealthy.
NO unhealthy shape should be praised or held up as the IDEAL whether that be underweight or overweight.

Sorry mods for dragging something for another forum but Fugly you posted a food diary that had you eating less then 600 cals a day plus walking miles isn't that unhealthy?

Dudess

naasface wrote: »

since when has it become a synonym for fat?

It's a bullsh1t, condescending phrase when used to refer to overweight women. Being complacent, and even celebratory, when it comes to obesity infuriates me - people just don't seem to be aware of how unhealthy it is. However, food and body image are issues for many women but anti fat types don't take this into account and just keep on insulting them, making an already major problem for them worse.

Im a size 6 and have noticed whenever there is a slim celebrity in the papers or magazines they get slated!!

"Whenever"? Every single time a magazine features e.g. a model (selling clothes for a company that pays the magazine exorbitant amounts) that model gets "slated"?

Saying 'she looks like a boy' 'real women have curves' suggesting its not 'real' to be naturally slim!

Yeah, those things are said - and are unacceptable.

Its really unfair and mean tbh, why is society so anti-skinny??

Society isn't anti skinny. That's just a fallacy.

There's all talk about society being anti fat

... which it is.

but in reality we are very accommodating to overweight people. Big women are rarely slated because it's not pc but slim/skinny people its a different story!!

Both extremes are constantly slated.
I get what you mean about people talking about overweight women behind their back, whereas freely insulting thin women in a "she won't be insulted - she's skinny, the lucky bitch, so what right does she have to get insulted" kind of way. I was always slagged when I was younger for being thin... but to say society isn't anti fat and it's anti thin... well just look around you. Specific situations don't tell the full story - in this culture, thin is in, fat ain't.
People's weights are rising definitely due to all the crap food on offer and the massive portion sizes, as well as laziness being on the increase because of the dearth of requirement for physical exertion - that doesn't mean overweight is accepted though.

Mikel

It's a phrase thought up by marketing types to sell you stuff.

There's a demographic of women who are defensive or insecure or resentful of women who are thinner than they are.

To tap into this they tell you that you are a 'real' woman.
There was a series of adverts a few years ago with Arabella Weir the 'comedienne' which began with a leggy model prancing around and was then promptly interrupted by this woman sneering that she wasn't a real woman and probably only ate a piece of lettuce a day.

The insinuation being 'she isn't one of us'.

You get to feel validated and hence buy their cereal or yoghurt or whatever she was shilling.

Simple really.

MyPeopleDrankTheSoup

the 'real women' bull**** i see in those mags are to make lazy, fat women with no discipline feel better about themselves. obesity isn't a disease and it's a slur on real illnesses and misfortunes when people say it is

Fugly

ztoical wrote: »

Wow where do you live cus I should move there. I'm overweight and I get comments all day everyday from family, friends and strangers on the street - I think most of the people on here claiming to have been overweight not have got negative comments about are confused about their weight and were most likely a healthy weight hence why no one commented.


I was classed by my Doctor(s) as overweight as both as a child and a teen. So I was in no way confused about my size. During that time I can remember every negative comment, perhaps I was lucky but I was rarely insulted. I'm sorry you have to put up with it every day. And for the record I live in north dublin.


And a little off topic, but the photo-shopping that suprised me most was the fas Opportunities poster girl ~ 2006. In the poster she had a more than ample breasts yet on meeting her in real life she was a very small cup size. :eek:. In person an astoundingly beautiful girl, absolutely no need to photoshop her breasts.

g'em

Wibbs wrote: »

neuro-praxis it would be appreciated if stuff from other forums was not brought here. Thanks

ztoical wrote: »

Sorry mods for dragging something for another forum but Fugly you posted a food diary that had you eating less then 600 cals a day plus walking miles isn't that unhealthy?

Read. Please.

lizzyvera

People assume that underweight women are underweight because they're intentionally starving themselves, so they comment to make sure the girl knows that she would look better if she was a bit fuller figured.

People also assume that fat girls know they're fat, so they needn't comment. I think that's fair enough since we all know more skinny girls who deludedly think they're fat than fat girls who think they're thin.

I've noticed, mainly from boards actually, that some people are extraordinarily sensitive about their weight. I'm not, and most my friends aren't. My boyfriend would pull at my flab and rub my belly saying "what do piggies say?!". It's possible that these seemingly nasty comments are coming from people who see weight as up for discussion as hair and clothes. Fat is just tissue, it comes and goes, I don't mind too much when my friends say I've put on a few because I know I'll lose it easily.

Like most marketing phrases, "real woman" is designed to make everyone feel insecure about what they have.

flibbertyjibbet

I have to say, this phraze really does get on my nerves. It's very condescending and like Mikel said above, there does seem to be a note of defensiveness or bitterness assosiated with it.

I can admit that there are parts of my body I would like to tone up, especially my stomach and yeah I do get a little envious when I see girls with flat toned stomachs, but I accept that that's the body they have through watching what they eat, excercise or maybe just plain genetics.

What I hate is when some women look at these girls (who would be in their 20's) and say "oh well she looks like that because she hasn't got her woman's body yet" "she just hasn't filled out yet," "yeah well she looks like that but I'm a real woman." Girls in their 20's are not going through puberty. They do have their "womanly body." I understand that metabolism plays a big role and that it slows with age, but this usually begins in late teens. Girls in their 20's also have to watch what they eat and get excercise.

Also, extra fat on the hips and thighs is normal in a woman but it would still look in proportion. I don't think excess flab is a sign of being a woman. So it's irritating when some look at toned young women and say that they just havent filled out yet and "I have a real woman's body." They seem to want to come across as salt of the earth types, but I have to say, it's seems like a mechanism for comforting themselves and I think it smacks of bitterness that they have put on weight.

jam_mac_jam

yes, real women means fat. Fat people like to justify themselves by blaming the media/ models/ society for saying that its better to be slim despite the fact it looks better and sells magazines and clothes which is why most famous people are slim. I have heard horrible comments made to slim women and if it was the other way round there would be blue murder.

tangerinepuppet

The 'real women' thing often applies in the way MonkeyFudge explained (as in pictures free from airbrushing etc.), but it is definitely used in the way jim_mac_jam described too (as a defense mechanism for *some* bigger people). It's a stupid phrase and it should be outlawed.

It reminds me of something that was said to me 10 years ago, when I was 17 and I had lost a stone in weight due to stress (which meant I was 5'5" and 7 1/2 stone). A girl I knew to say hello to, but had no real dealings with, came up to me on a night out and said 'you're fcuking anorexic-looking'. She obviously didn't think it was a big deal, and was friendly before and after it.

That was the first time I gave any real thought to the double standard whereby people can comment to their heart's content about somebody being thin, but if it was the other way around, and I speculated out loud about this girl's eating habits or mental health because of her size, I probably would have got a good (and well-deserved) slap.

Again, when I started college, I had a 'friend' who liked to tell me I was 'disgustingly skinny'. I had, and still have, a consistent BMI of about 20.

It's not nice to be told you look unwell, 'disgusting' or in any way 'wrong' (or not 'real' - what then, fake?!), no matter what size you happen to be.

Acacia

Both sides get slagged really. For the media (trashy mags and tabloids), it just depends who they're taking pot-shots at this week (i.e. will they show a picture of Lindsay Lohan looking emaciated and wail about how frail she looks, or will they stick to drawing marker circles around some star's cellulite and wail about how she is 'piling on the pounds'? Or they could do it all in the same issue.)

For society in general, it's hard to say. You get the little boy racers shouting ''No Fat Burds" out the window to over-weight women, and you also have the snide remarks to the skinny girls ( speculation about eating disorders and the like). It's happened to me on a number of occassions- my weight was remarked on in a disparaging wau which I feel would never have been said to an over-weight woman because the person in question would have gotten death stares from everyone around us.

As for 'real women'... I think it's a way of saying that you can have cellulite/ a bit of excess weight and not be obese, at best. At worst, it's just a clever marketing slogan.

Fugly

lizzyvera wrote: »

I've noticed, mainly from boards actually, that some people are extraordinarily sensitive about their weight. I'm not, and most my friends aren't.

I think, I could be wrong but, you may have noticed it more on here due to it being an internet forum. People can be a little more vunerable and honest or feel they don't have to say the P.C. thing.

I know when I'm with my friends I would never act offended, I've had male friends make the pregnancy remarks complete with trying to placing hand on *bump* laughed it off and to be fair most would be suprised and upset to know they'd really triggered my insecurities. I have never let any one touch my stomach, dr's excluded.

I also joke about my flaws and would never admit I have any insecurities to my friends. If I did most would just assume I'm looking for attention or else patronise me and tell me it's vanity, I get the impression I would be viewed as less intellectual from some. I think all would be suprised by certain posts regarding insecurities I've made on here.

I notice we're around the same age, so possibly your friends are hiding it like myself.

My boyfriend would pull at my flab and rub my belly saying "what do piggies say?!".

On a lighter note, This is the only thing I've ever read on boards that has shocked me, I've never heard a woman express anything similar. :eek::eek:.

Dragan

naasface wrote: »

What is up with this??
I get the phrase real women means non famous people but since when has it become a synonym for fat?
Im a size 6 and have noticed whenever there is a slim celebrity in the papers or magazines they get slated!!
Saying 'she looks like a boy' 'real women have curves' suggesting its not 'real' to be naturally slim!
Its really unfair and mean tbh, why is society so anti-skinny??

There's all talk about society being anti fat but in reality we are very accommodating to overweight people. Big women are rarely slated because it's not pc but slim/skinny people its a different story!!
So am i not a real woman because i don't have rolls of flab and a huge chest?!
I know this is a bit of a rant and rave but i'm just curious to see what the other ladies think.

Who any magazine/papers slate seems to change month on month or day today.

I wouldn't base a huge amount of either of them, or the terms they use.

I tend to hear the term "real women" from women, normally being said about women they don't like, for whatever reason. It's like any term, if you want to know what it means, it depends complete on the person who said it and the context.

shivvyban

jam_mac_jam wrote: »

yes, real women means fat. Fat people like to justify themselves by blaming the media/ models/ society for saying that its better to be slim despite the fact it looks better and sells magazines and clothes which is why most famous people are slim.

Why does it look better?

Pardon my language but bullsh*t!

Go back throughout history and society and views on weight and what makes a 'real woman' has changed. Back throughout history it was not seen to be attractive to be slim. It was seen to be poor as you couldn't eat. If they had magazines back then people like Cameron Diaz would never have gotten a look in. The slim thing is a very recent occurance.

And chances are it'll have changed in the next 20 years.

Society changes all the time. Even look at Marilyn Monroe, not exactly a Keira Knightly size.

The models from Evans are plus size and personally I that they look good. They sell clothes and they are beautiful women.

People have it ingrained in their heads (I won't lie, I would LOVE to be slimmer) that to be skinny is attractive and its the only way to be attractive (I think this way but I do know its wrong).

I am not anti-skinny or anti-fat or anything like that. It should be all about health and I as a person, not as a fat person, took offence to your comment.