She doesn't want me to go to a strip club

LegacyUser

I'll start this post of by saying that, I have no plans to go to a strip club what so ever.

This started from a conversation about hen & stag nights. Basically she wouldn't want me to go to a strip club because it is against her morals, she thinks it's degrading women, the taught of me watching girls dance doesn't lie well with her.

It wouldn't bother me (I think) if she went. It's a choice she makes, I know she loves me and that I am all that matters to her and the (male) dancers aren't in with a chance. Thats how I feel about it to, she means everything to me and has nothing to worry about.

My question is, is it acceptable for a guy (or even a girl) to go to a strip club and do all partners feel this is(n't) acceptable?

useful_contacts

Unregistered wrote: »

I'll start this post of by saying that, I have no plans to go to a strip club what so ever.

This started from a conversation about hen & stag nights. Basically she wouldn't want me to go to a strip club because it is against her morals, she thinks it's degrading women, the taught of me watching girls dance doesn't lie well with her.

It wouldn't bother me (I think) if she went. It's a choice she makes, I know she loves me and that I am all that matters to her and the (male) dancers aren't in with a chance. Thats how I feel about it to, she means everything to me and has nothing to worry about.

My question is, is it acceptable for a guy (or even a girl) to go to a strip club and do all partners feel this is(n't) acceptable?

Im with my partner 5 and a half years, he is off to newcastle in october for a stag do and he "asked" me would i be ok with him going to a strip club. I burst out laughing and said "off course not off ya go". It doesnt bother me one bit. If i was going to newcastle with them id go to the strip club aswell. I know he loves me and the way i see it he watches porn so why shouldnt he enjoy a strip club. Nothing wrong with it and i trust him 100%

However my friend who is with her bf 6 years(her bfs going on this stag too) told her bf if he went to a strip club over there that they were finished.

So you see Everyone is different and everyone has different ideas of what constitutes fun. I think its grand for guys and girls to go to strip clubs. Ive been to a few and had a blast.

prinz

Have been to a few 'proper' joints in the States when I was younger, not the things they have over here. tbh I wouldn't go again. IMO it's something you should grow out of as you get older, like 21. Just don't see the attraction anymore. My OH has said the same as the OP's, but I actually beat her to it saying I wouldn't be bothered going to one if they were paying me to go in. Just don't like them anymore, they're a waste of space, and serve no beneficial purpose whatsoever.

LegacyUser

You said she doesnt want you to go because she finds it degrading,...thats actually different to 'she doesnt want you to go because it makes her insecure' which is the way the other posters responded to your message.

You are in deep s*** here I think because you really shouldnt do something that goes against your partners morals, her point is a teeny bit unreasonable but very arguable for her. Your only option is to get her to relax about it a bit but I suspect that the 'morals' argument is a sneaky cover for 'it makes her insecure'. You cant win this one easily but I guess you need to talk to her and say you respect her, women and her opinion but that she is putting you in a very difficult and embarrasing position as it would be terrible for you in your eyes and in the eyes of your friends to have to cause a fuss about going to a stripclub just because 'it goes agains your girlfriends morals'. I think thats you argument. Good luck.

JamesAlex

Eh, I'm friends with a few strippers and they don't feel degraded by it at all. In fact they see it the other way that men are so pathetic that the need to pay to be rubbed up against. I love strip clubs, I go there because its a nice way to relax at the end of a night, I rarely get a dance and most of the time just chat to some of the girls which I have gone on to date.

They are not all as confident, some of the girls have genuine issues as in they have been abused or bad relationship with parents etc. But most of them are completely normal like you and me except they have a provocative job

Oh and just so you guys know, there is very little dancing in the clubs, you have to pay to get a private dance, if the OP didnt get a dance I see no reason why his OH would be upset about it.

Eve_Dublin

You can't equate women going to see the Chippendales (do any women really fancy any of these guys?) to men going to strip clubs. This is just naive or feigned stupidity on your part...come on OP! The atmosphere at a Chippendales show is much different to a strip club and you know it! I've been to a strip club and the places are seedy as hell. The men are there JUST to perv at naked women dancing round poles or whatever...nothing else. And pulling out the "it's not your problem if your girlfriend is so insecure" card doesn't wash with me and it makes us out to be the bad guys. Feck that! I'd say I'm fairly secure in myself but I would have a problem with my OH going to strip club to perv at sexy, naked women because that's all it is. Call me crazy but I'd like to think I'm the only sexy, naked REAL-LIFE woman (as in in flesh and blood and not in a magazine) he gets to get off on. My opinion of him would decrease on a huge scale...I really don't want to go out with a man who frequents strip clubs..the idea makes my skin crawl.

To be honest, strip clubs are for sleazy old men who can't get any in the real world and young lads on stags who don't know any better (and some of them probably don't even want to be there but are just going along with the crowd). If you want to go along and have a look for yourself, then do (but you said you don't). Your girlfriend can't stop you but you can't blame the girl for feeling degraded/insecure (I don't think they're mutually exclusive in this instance)..a lot of women would. She not being unreasonable here OH...

Sorry, just reread your post..why is this an issue if you're not even planning to go? Is she annoyed because you don't see anything wrong with it?

Greenmachine

Suprised no-one has said it yet, but how about You respect your OH's wishes and don't bother with the stripper. Is it really that important.

JamesAlex

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

You can't equate women going to see the Chippendales (do any women really fancy any of these guys?) to men going to strip clubs. This is just naive or feigned stupidity on your part...come on OP! The atmosphere at a Chippendales show is much different to a strip club and you know it! I've been to a strip club and the places are seedy as hell. The men are there JUST to perv at naked women dancing round poles or whatever...nothing else. And pulling out the "it's not your problem if your girlfriend is so insecure" card doesn't wash with me and it makes us out to be the bad guys. Feck that! I'd say I'm fairly secure in myself but I would have a problem with my OH going to strip club to perv at sexy, naked women because that's all it is. Call me crazy but I'd like to think I'm the only sexy, naked REAL-LIFE woman (as in in flesh and blood and not in a magazine) he gets to get off on.

To be honest, strip clubs are for sleazy old men who can't get any in the real world and young lads on stags who don't know any better (and some of them probably don't even want to be there but are just going along with the crowd). If you want to go along and have a look for yourself, then do. Your girlfriend can't stop you but you can't blame the girl for feeling degraded/insecure (I don't think they're mutually exclusive in this instance)..a lot of women would. She not being unreasonable here OH...put yourself in her shoes for a sec and consider her feelings instead of making excuses to do what YOU want to do.

Wow, this poster is the definition of a hypocrite. Clearly she has never been to a strip club because any of them Ive been in don't have naked ladies dancing around poles, they have women who you can request a private dance with, they also join you while you have a few drinks, but if you are not interested they leave.

I can assure you that the people who are going along with the crowd, want to be there. Get a clue eve

hobochris

I'm sorry but the argument about male strippers or Chippendales being not as bad is pure crap.

In strip clubs there is a strict no touching policy, where as there have been many stories about women in the audience of these male shows being brought up on stage and doing a lot more then looking (In some cases kissing the strippers penis or performing fellatio on him behind the cover of a towel).

LegacyUser

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

You can't equate women going to see the Chippendales (do any women really fancy any of these guys?) to men going to strip clubs. This is just naive or feigned stupidity on your part...come on OP! The atmosphere at a Chippendales show is much different to a strip club and you know it! I've been to a strip club and the places are seedy as hell. The men are there JUST to perv at naked women dancing round poles or whatever...nothing else. And pulling out the "it's not your problem if your girlfriend is so insecure" card doesn't wash with me and it makes us out to be the bad guys. Feck that! I'd say I'm fairly secure in myself but I would have a problem with my OH going to strip club to perv at sexy, naked women because that's all it is. Call me crazy but I'd like to think I'm the only sexy, naked REAL-LIFE woman (as in in flesh and blood and not in a magazine) he gets to get off on. My opinion of him would decrease on a huge scale...I really don't want to go out with a man who frequents strip clubs..the idea makes my skin crawl.

To be honest, strip clubs are for sleazy old men who can't get any in the real world and young lads on stags who don't know any better (and some of them probably don't even want to be there but are just going along with the crowd). If you want to go along and have a look for yourself, then do (but you said you don't). Your girlfriend can't stop you but you can't blame the girl for feeling degraded/insecure (I don't think they're mutually exclusive in this instance)..a lot of women would. She not being unreasonable here OH...

Sorry, just reread your post..why is this an issue if you're not even planning to go? Is she annoyed because you don't see anything wrong with it?

Your having a laugh right?
I've seen women jump over tables and fight each other off to get at Chippendale dancers.
If a man looks at a dancer wrong he is kicked out.

Eve_Dublin

JamesAlex wrote: »

Wow, this poster is the definition of a hypocrite. Clearly she has never been to a strip club because any of them Ive been in don't have naked ladies dancing around poles, they have women who you can request a private dance with, they also join you while you have a few drinks, but if you are not interested they leave.

I can assure you that the people who are going along with the crowd, want to be there. Get a clue eve

I've been twice. Read my post again. Not all strip clubs are like the ones you ferquent obviously. How is my post hypocritical??

prinz

JamesAlex wrote: »

I can assure you that the people who are going along with the crowd, want to be there. Get a clue eve

The couple of times I was in a strip club I didn't want to be there. It was a corporate event.

Eve_Dublin

hobochris wrote: »

I'm sorry but the argument about male strippers or Chippendales being not as bad is pure crap.

In strip clubs there is a strict no touching policy, where as there have been many stories about women in the audience of these male shows being brought up on stage and doing a lot more then looking (In some cases kissing the strippers penis or performing fellatio on him behind the cover of a towel).

It's pure crap?? Where are all the women-only male strip clubs then if there's such a market for it? I don't ANY women who find those men attractive. Women aren't turned on by men dancing like the YMCA...sorry to disappoint you if you're considering it as career hobochris!

Eve_Dublin

JamesAlex wrote: »

Eh, I'm friends with a few strippers and they don't feel degraded by it at all. In fact they see it the other way that men are so pathetic that the need to pay to be rubbed up against. I love strip clubs, I go there because its a nice way to relax at the end of a night, I rarely get a dance and most of the time just chat to some of the girls which I have gone on to date.

They are not all as confident, some of the girls have genuine issues as in they have been abused or bad relationship with parents etc. But most of them are completely normal like you and me except they have a provocative job

Oh and just so you guys know, there is very little dancing in the clubs, you have to pay to get a private dance, if the OP didnt get a dance I see no reason why his OH would be upset about it.

James...these women are not your friends...they want your money. It's their JOB to talk to you. Don't be so naive.

Nobody's doubting whether these girls are "normal" or not..of course they are. The fact that this would even be debated speaks volumes.

Eve_Dublin

prinz wrote: »

The couple of times I was in a strip club I didn't want to be there. It was a corporate event.

Having corporate events in strip-clubs IS degrading to women. I'm presuming women work for these companies as well?

prinz

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Having corporate events in strip-clubs IS degrading to women. I'm presuming women work for these companies as well?

Like I said it was Stateside, and I didn't want to be there. Neither do I want to ever visit a strip club again. I am not defending them

tagoona

OP. I would say go.
You'll be disappointed at what you see and your curiousity will be satisfied.
Whether you tell the other half is up to you.

My stag we ended up in a strip club. I had told the other half we might go. She approved at the time, but went ballistic after the stag.
What can you do!
People react differently. Only you know whether you can deal with the fallout.

TBH, I think most guys go out of curiousity than wanting to be turned by a scantily clad lady.

Eve_Dublin

prinz wrote: »

Like I said it was Stateside, and I didn't want to be there. Neither do I want to ever visit a strip club again. I am not defending them

I know you weren't Prinz but just commenting on what a crappy choice of location it was for a corporate event. Very professional. Out of curiosity, were women invited?

I've been to two strip clubs in the states when I lived there...a girl I worked with while I was waitressing was a stripper in the evenings and I went to see her to give her moral support. She hated it and commented on how she thought most of the men there were "scum of the Earth" and how little respect they had for her. Her words..not mine.

Eve_Dublin

Unregistered wrote: »

Your having a laugh right?
I've seen women jump over tables and fight each other off to get at Chippendale dancers.
If a man looks at a dancer wrong he is kicked out.

Have you been to one of their shows?

prinz

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I know you weren't Prinz but just commenting on what a crappy choice of location it was for a corporate event. Very professional. Out of curiosity, were women invited?

Of course not . There were a few of us paddies over and the managers in our department thought they had to show us what 'real' men did, by sipping light beer, going to a total dive of a strip club and watching American football. The only thought going through my head was 'what the hell am I doing here?'. In fairness they had everything booked and preplanned and we didn't have a clue what was on the way so felt we kinda had to play along. tbh it was disgusting and turned my stomach no end.

LegacyUser

OP Here.

She was in a bit of a foul mood al right when it came up, hence me posting. (all because of a movie, the hangover)

From reading the replies there are mixed views which I was expecting.

I respect my gf's views on this but I can't fully see where she's coming from. I'm sure there are club were women are degraded and not treated well but I wouldn't be going there, I see nothing wrong with it so long as this doesn't happen. As someone else had said it's ok for her bf to watch porn so why not a stripclub?

I also think part of the issue is her being insecure as mentioned by someone.

Thanks for the replies.

Eve_Dublin

Unregistered wrote: »

OP Here.

She was in a bit of a foul mood al right when it came up, hence me posting. (all because of a movie, the hangover)

From reading the replies there are mixed views which I was expecting.

I respect my gf's views on this but I can't fully see where she's coming from. I'm sure there are club were women are degraded and not treated well but I wouldn't be going there, I see nothing wrong with it so long as this doesn't happen. As someone else had said it's ok for her bf to watch porn so why not a stripclub?

I also think part of the issue is her being insecure as mentioned by someone.

Thanks for the replies.

I'm only speaking on my behalf and not the whole female population...a heck of a lot of men AND women look at porn...even my dad growing up (I found a load of magazines under his bed when I was 7 :eek:)....I suppose I'm not repelled by it because it's 2D images of women so done up and airbrushed that their verging on cartoons characters....the women in strip clubs are REAL. This is what bugs me, I think and plus the types of men that are drawn to these places are usually creeps who are there for the sole purpose of perving over naked women who are right there in front of them and sometimes extremely close if they get a private dance. If a single man decides to go there, that's his business but a man in a relationship....why would you want to be so close to a women in the flesh if you're in a happy relationship? The whole thing is creepy beyond belief. PAYING a woman for her to show you her boobies when you've got a girlfriend with her own nice pair of boobies you can look at for free! Bargain!

This is beyond the realm of fantasy OH...THAT'S the problem I have with it.

neuro-praxis

The problem is not whether or not a partner goes to a strip club. It's about whether or not you share the same values.

My husband actually agrees with me that the sex industry is an ugly and exploitative one, and has no desire to support it.

If he felt differently, I would never have gotten into a long-term relationship with him.

If you can't respect your partner's wishes on this maybe you aren't right for each other. Let's face it, you want some sexual thrills separate from her.

Eve_Dublin

neuro-praxis wrote: »

Let's face it, you want some sexual thrills separate from her.

This is what it comes down to for me. For a woman to feel insecure that a man would choose to get off on looking at another women and paying for it is understandable and a man who couldn't see this point-of-view is not the kind of guy I would want to be with. Simple as.

BeQuiet

Men enjoy looking at naked women - in fact most of them REALLY enjoy it.

Calling them pervs or other epithets is insulting - its human nature, not perversion!

So - guys - dont be ashamed of your natural lustful feelings - theres nothing wrong about it.

If a guy has a really great relationship with his OH, I would imagine that he might not want to do so (see any other naked woman besides his partner) - but IMHO that kind of amazing relationship is rare indeed!

neuro-praxis

BeQuiet wrote: »

If a guy has a really great relationship with his OH, I would imagine that he might not want to do so (see any other naked woman besides his partner) - but IMHO that kind of amazing relationship is rare indeed!

Or maybe they'd like to see lots of naked women but choose not to. It's a rare thing called self-control.

Cassidy1

if she is insecure and wont let you go what is she going to be like when you are married? You seriously have to find out what her problem is coz if the girl is marrying you obviously you are mad about her and wouldnt do anything to hurt her so you need to let her know that!

zedhead

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

It's pure crap?? Where are all the women-only male strip clubs then if there's such a market for it? I don't ANY women who find those men attractive. Women aren't turned on by men dancing like the YMCA...sorry to disappoint you if you're considering it as career hobochris!

I've been to 3 of these show's, on mien and my friends part was all just for a laugh. Though after the last one i would never go again. Women who went were definitly getting turned on by it and were very touchy ad grabby with the guys. I dont know any women personally who find it sexually apealing but there are a hell of a lot of women out there that do. It was actually rather disturbing the way they treated the men. It may not be as big a market as female strippers, but it is totally on the same level as a guy going to a strip club for a stag do.

jonsnow

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

...a girl I worked with while I was waitressing was a stripper in the evenings and I went to see her to give her moral support. She hated it and commented on how she thought most of the men there were "scum of the Earth" and how little respect they had for her. Her words..not mine.

She obviously had very little respect for herself if she hated the job that much and continued to work their.

jonsnow

neuro-praxis wrote: »

Or maybe they'd like to see lots of naked women but choose not to. It's a rare thing called self-control.

or maybe going to a strip club on a stag do is fun and isn,t really a big deal

Eve_Dublin

zedhead wrote: »

I've been to 3 of these show's, on mien and my friends part was all just for a laugh. Though after the last one i would never go again. Women who went were definitly getting turned on by it and were very touchy ad grabby with the guys. I dont know any women personally who find it sexually apealing but there are a hell of a lot of women out there that do. It was actually rather disturbing the way they treated the men. It may not be as big a market as female strippers, but it is totally on the same level as a guy going to a strip club for a stag do.

Right so the Chippendales etc are being exploited as well, not denying they're not but how does this make strip-clubs any more acceptable or any less disturbing? It's ALL exploitation..of course it is. I haven't been to one of these shows and I wouldn't to.

zedhead

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Right so the Chippendales etc are being exploited as well, not denying they're not but how does this make strip-clubs any more acceptable or any less disturbing? It's ALL exploitation..of course it is. I haven't been to one of these shows and I wouldn't to.

In places where it is not the dancers choice to work there it is exploitation. But for the people who have total free will and choose to work in a totally legal profession where they are getting paid very well to do it then it is not exploitation.

I'm not saying it doesnt happen that there are places where men and women are exploited in this trade, but the type of places i would presume the OP is talking about going to, it is their choice to work there, they are not doing anything illegal and they do get paid highly for that. I don't understand how that is exploitation? You said pornography was understandable but how can you not consider that exploitation?

The main issue for the OP here is that they have differing morals, and she feels that she has a right to tell him what he can and can't do.
Its not so much about his right to go to a strip club, but moreso if she can tell him not to do this what is the next step, will she stop him going out to clubs because she is afraid he will look at or talk to other women.
It seems a little too controling for what i would deem healthy in a relationship.
If they can discuss it rationally and come to a conclusion that they are both happy with then fair enough. But if she is just plain putting her foot down then why should he have to put up with it.

BeQuiet

Theres a lot of women (judging by user names) posting here, who really have a problem with mens natural instincts.

Guys are not naturally monogamous, and basically only stay with one woman for the sake of their kids. Yes - shocking isnt it !?

Plus the fact that modern society basically screws guys who end up separated / divorced - that alone keeps lots of families together too.

Its 100% natrural for guys to fancy other women - especially if their relationship with their OH is over the first romantic madly-in-luv period, of , what , say a year or two .

So - females - cop yourselves on - guys have absolurtely nothing to be ashamed about in wanting to go to a strip club.

Monkey61

To be fair I think one needs to differentiate between above board, well run, classy strip clubs - of which there are a few big names, especially in the UK - and the lower rent dives of which one hears frequent stories of slave trafficking and customers being escorted to ATMs by groups of bouncers in order to extort money.

The bigger name clubs pay ridiculously well and attract a broad spectrum of dancers. I know a girl who works for one, she is a very intelligent girl, has a Masters but is choosing to work at that job until she hits 30 as she enjoys it, the hours are great and she makes a tonne of money. She has not been forced into it, she is not being exploited and she has the right to choose that line of work.

To be honest I would feel more exploited working in a shop for minimum wage, being regularly abused by customers and talked down to by management - that to me is demeaning.

Not to push the feminist issue too much, but Christ people, women have the right to choose what line of work they want without the small mindedness of others (often other women) insisting that they are being horribly exploited. Give people a bit of credit. Lots of men and women enjoy strip clubs and why not. People are sexual beings and many enjoy watching dancers taking their clothes off, it is only natural.

Relationships are about compromise. Personally I do not think that your partner has the right to tell you that you can't go to a strip club anymore than I would have the right to ban my partners from eating meat because I have a moral issue with that. It would depend where she has gotten her attitude about strip clubs from though. If she has no knowledge of them at all and has just made up a moral opinion without any basis in fact then I really would not be too impressed with her imposing any bans - but then again I wouldn't go out with someone who made a habit of forming ill-judged moral opinions anyway. If however she worked in one herself or knows someone who did and was mistreated then I could understand her point of view.

If you have no desire to go then it is all irrelevant really, but should you want to then I don't think that it is fair of her to stop you unless she has a very good reason.

Eve_Dublin

Monkey61 wrote: »

To be fair I think one needs to differentiate between above board, well run, classy strip clubs - of which there are a few big names, especially in the UK - and the lower rent dives of which one hears frequent stories of slave trafficking and customers being escorted to ATMs by groups of bouncers in order to extort money.

The bigger name clubs pay ridiculously well and attract a broad spectrum of dancers. I know a girl who works for one, she is a very intelligent girl, has a Masters but is choosing to work at that job until she hits 30 as she enjoys it, the hours are great and she makes a tonne of money. She has not been forced into it, she is not being exploited and she has the right to choose that line of work.

To be honest I would feel more exploited working in a shop for minimum wage, being regularly abused by customers and talked down to by management - that to me is demeaning.

Not to push the feminist issue too much, but Christ people, women have the right to choose what line of work they want without the small mindedness of others (often other women) insisting that they are being horribly exploited. Give people a bit of credit. Lots of men and women enjoy strip clubs and why not. People are sexual beings and many enjoy watching dancers taking their clothes off, it is only natural.

Relationships are about compromise. Personally I do not think that your partner has the right to tell you that you can't go to a strip club anymore than I would have the right to ban my partners from eating meat because I have a moral issue with that. It would depend where she has gotten her attitude about strip clubs from though. If she has no knowledge of them at all and has just made up a moral opinion without any basis in fact then I really would not be too impressed with her imposing any bans - but then again I wouldn't go out with someone who made a habit of forming ill-judged moral opinions anyway. If however she worked in one herself or knows someone who did and was mistreated then I could understand her point of view.

If you have no desire to go then it is all irrelevant really, but should you want to then I don't think that it is fair of her to stop you unless she has a very good reason.

That's fine...your opinion...the OP is not even considering going (I wonder why it's even an issue then?). My argument wasn't about the exploitation because honestly, I'm not up on what exactly goes behind the scenes in these places, I heard some stories but I wouldn't know enough to argue on this point. I'm sure most men don't do their research before they go to find out either.

Not sure why you're doubting whether these women are intelligent or not...you're arguing with yourself there on that point, I don't think anyone doubted that fact...the very fact that you and another poster have felt the need to point out that these women are "normal" and "intelligent" highlights the fact that perhaps not many men would see them as anything more than lumps of meat and need to be reminded that there's more to them than that. A freudian slip maybe but an interesting one nonetheless.

My point is that I don't see why a man in a supposedly loving relationship needs to pay to go and see women take their clothes and prance/dance around naked, sometimes within a very close proximity to the man if he chooses. I would be hurt if my OH did this...why should I be ok with the man I love PAYING to get turned on by ANOTHER woman taking her clothes off? Can't you see why the OH's OP might have issue with this? This can't be equated to eating a burger in front of a vegetarian ffs. If my boyfriend was deeply hurt by me eating a burger in front of him, then I would stop. The burger (or strip-club) is not worth it if it hurts the person I love.

Now if the OP's OH wasn't allowing to have female friends or go out alone with his mates (to a normal bar), then that would be an issue.

Listen, a lot of men are posting up here who support Strip-Clubs but plenty of men out there wouldn't be seen dead in one because they see them for what they are...sleazy sh*tholes and that goes for the majority of the clientele as well. We could argue all day but when it comes to it, The OP's OH is entitled to her opinions as much as you guys and if she doesn't agree, she shouldn't be labelled insecure or a bunny-boiler (as one previous poster implied)...a bit more understanding on the OP's part would be nice!

Anyway, he's not even going to one so really, what IS the issue here?

holmyster

just say you're not going

Terodil

holmyster wrote: »

just say you're not going

worst advice ever.

Edit: Ok, I'll make this a little more helpful to the OP:

My very own opinion on this is: I wouldn't be seen dead in one and I can understand the discomfort of your OH. Ultimately it's a matter of interpretation and feeling, and I think in this case the man might/should consider paying respects to her wishes for the sake of their relationship and her mental sanity. It's not as if not going would kill you, and handled carefully it's not setting a precedent for a life under her boot either.

Eve_Dublin

jonsnow wrote: »

She obviously had very little respect for herself if she hated the job that much and continued to work their.

What's your point? We all do jobs we hate to pay the bills. I know I do. Sometimes we have no choice or sometimes we don't realise we DO have a choice. If you think she has any less respect for herself than most of the peoplein this country working in jobs they hate, that says something about your attitude to strippers.

Do you REALLY believe they all love their job? Get real.

puglover

BeQuiet wrote: »

Theres a lot of women (judging by user names) posting here, who really have a problem with mens natural instincts.

Guys are not naturally monogamous, and basically only stay with one woman for the sake of their kids. Yes - shocking isnt it !?

Plus the fact that modern society basically screws guys who end up separated / divorced - that alone keeps lots of families together too.

Its 100% natrural for guys to fancy other women - especially if their relationship with their OH is over the first romantic madly-in-luv period, of , what , say a year or two .

So - females - cop yourselves on - guys have absolurtely nothing to be ashamed about in wanting to go to a strip club.

:eek: I'm laughing out load here at your post. I really feel sorry for you if you are actually serious about this.

Sorry if this is deemed off topic but I would hate to thank any poor girl would read and believe this.

orlaj

with my oh for about 10 years he has been to strip clubs and always told me about it ... I am not fond of the thought of him in a club but its his decision ..

Eve_Dublin

puglover wrote: »

:eek: I'm laughing out load here at your post. I really feel sorry for you if you are actually serious about this.

Sorry if this is deemed off topic but I would hate to thank any poor girl would read and believe this.

Infraction time but I have to say it..can't stop myself...these are the types of knuckle-heads that frequent strip-clubs...NO woman in their right mind would stick this guy for any amount of time so he has to pay for company instead.

But I have to thank you for stepping up to highlight my point about the clientele in strip-clubs! Thanks a million!

puglover

OP I have to say I agree with your gf and do feel that strip clubs are in conflict with my morals. In a strip club, a woman is judged not by her intelligence, talent, personality or behaviour but by how well her body fulfills the patrons' base needs. I don't like how women are objectified and how it has been deemed acceptable in society throughout history.

However, I do understand that it is accepted and that being men, they are not going to feel the same, it's not as close to home. They'll never have to contend with glass ceilings etc that we do so they don't see the issue.

My OH doesn't frequent or wouldn't initiate a trip to a strip club. He doesn't have any interest really and I am happy with that, he's morals aren't hugely conflicting with mine. I do think though if the situation came about, like a stag or whatever, that I wouldn't mind if he went along with the guys. I wouldn't take it as a personal attack on my morals or anything.

I think the issue here isn't really the strip club. I think it's the fact that you have conflicting views on it, it could just as easily be any moral issue like abortion, divorce etc.

I think you have to either try and understand that each other has different views and try to compromise to accomodate (I mean if the strip club isn't really that important to you, its not much of a sacrifice to miss out on it).

However if it was something that you can't compromise on and your morals are majorly conflicting on, you may have to rethink your compatability.

I don't think it's a big enough issue in this case though.

The Recliner

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Infraction time but I have to say it..can't stop myself...these are the types of knuckle-heads that frequent strip-clubs...NO woman in their right mind would stick this guy for any amount of time so he has to pay for company instead.

But I have to thank you for stepping up to highlight my point about the clientele in strip-clubs! Thanks a million!

So one persons opinions makes every punter a knucklehead does it? Be careful about calling people names in PI

I don't attend strip clubs because if I wanted a young girl to gyrate around for my pleasure I would just go to a nightclub in town and pick one up for free, that might just be the cheapskate in me though

I have no issue with strip clubs or the people who work in them or frequent them. Both know the story before they go in there

I have no moral issues with it either

However if it was a major issue for a partner then I would respect that

Respect generally solves/prevents most problems

Eve_Dublin

Pimpey wrote: »

So one persons opinions makes every punter a knucklehead does it? Be careful about calling people names in PI

I don't attend strip clubs because if I wanted a young girl to gyrate around for my pleasure I would just go to a nightclub in town and pick one up for free, that might just be the cheapskate in me though

I have no issue with strip clubs or the people who work in them or frequent them. Both know the story before they go in there

I have no moral issues with it either

However if it was a major issue for a partner then I would respect that

Respect generally solves/prevents most problems

I can think of a lot more offensive things I could've called him, in fairness.

Nope, not EVERY punter, I didn't say that but certainly men with this type of attitude to women are drawn to places like this, without a doubt. He clearly has little respect for us so I'm going to react to that.

That's all I'm saying.

The Recliner

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I can think of a lot more offensive things I could've called him, in fairness.

Nope, not EVERY punter, I didn't say that but certainly men with this type of attitude to women are drawn to places like this, without a doubt. He clearly has little respect for us so I'm going to react to that.

That's all I'm saying.

Just try and keep it civil

You are well capable of getting your point across without abuse or name calling which will only get you into trouble and give the poster the reaction they are looking for

nmesisca

BeQuiet wrote: »

Theres a lot of women (judging by user names) posting here, who really have a problem with mens natural instincts.

Guys are not naturally monogamous, and basically only stay with one woman for the sake of their kids. Yes - shocking isnt it !?

Plus the fact that modern society basically screws guys who end up separated / divorced - that alone keeps lots of families together too.

Its 100% natrural for guys to fancy other women - especially if their relationship with their OH is over the first romantic madly-in-luv period, of , what , say a year or two .

So - females - cop yourselves on - guys have absolurtely nothing to be ashamed about in wanting to go to a strip club.

boy this one is for the keeps :rolleyes:

i guess you're single at the moment..

The Recliner

nmesisca wrote: »

boy this one is for the keeps :rolleyes:

i guess you're single at the moment..

No more off topic comments or generalisations please people

Back to helping the OP if you will

Pimpey

The Real B-man

OP just ask you're OH would it be ok for her to go to a Chippendales Show or even a Ann Summers Party? i mean you are going to look at Topless women not having any emotional or sexual involement with them whats the difference in looking at porn or Topless women on Holidays or in what is Basically a bar and its a stag night not like you go every weekend!

I think she is very Insecure and you have to talk to her about this and reassure her about her insecurities.

puglover

The Real B-man wrote: »

OP just ask you're OH would it be ok for her to go to a Chippendales Show or even a Ann Summers Party? i mean you are going to look at Topless women not having any emotional or sexual involement with them whats the difference in looking at porn or Topless women on Holidays or in what is Basically a bar and its a stag night not like you go every weekend!

I think she is very Insecure and you have to talk to her about this and reassure her about her insecurities.

Ann Summers party... what do you think goes on at them? Not remotely relevant.

I really don't think it's an insecurity thing, but I agree OP should talk to her.

It's more about getting an understanding of each others pov, and coming to an agreement/compromise where they differ

CDfm

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

You can't equate women going to see the Chippendales (do any women really fancy any of these guys?) to men going to strip clubs. This is just naive or feigned stupidity on your part...come on OP! The atmosphere at a Chippendales show is much different to a strip club and you know it!

Yes you can -its stripping for money and thats double standard Eve.

I've been to a strip club and the places are seedy as hell. The men are there JUST to perv at naked women dancing round poles or whatever...nothing else. And pulling out the "it's not your problem if your girlfriend is so insecure" card doesn't wash with me and it makes us out to be the bad guys. Feck that! I'd say I'm fairly secure in myself but I would have a problem with my OH going to strip club to perv at sexy, naked women because that's all it is. Call me crazy but I'd like to think I'm the only sexy, naked REAL-LIFE woman (as in in flesh and blood and not in a magazine) he gets to get off on.

They are not my bag or idea of glamour - but as another poster said if you are invited to a stag party and thats where it leads well - IMHO - it shouldnt be an issue.

My opinion of him would decrease on a huge scale...I really don't want to go out with a man who frequents strip clubs..the idea makes my skin crawl.
?

But you dont apply the same standards to yourself

BeQuiet

puglover wrote: »

:eek: I'm laughing out load here at your post. I really feel sorry for you if you are actually serious about this.

Sorry if this is deemed off topic but I would hate to thank any poor girl would read and believe this.

Glad u enjoyed it ...:D

You dont bother to rebut any of my points in a logical way... fair enough ...

I prefer to read something entertaining and informative myself, than meaningless posts ... still there are lots of the latter here...