How do you tell a friend to bugger off!!!!

This

There is a girl in my group of friends( friend of a friend, not a personal close friend) who is constantly sticking her nose in, giving her opinion (over and over and over) again, critising decisions, etc

when she is not at this she is such a lovely girl, she holds down a really good job , is in college has a really great bf and a lovely baby. But she just grates on me.......

I have told her a number of times 'i appreciate your thoughts and opinions but its my life I'll do what I want' but t all came to a head last night when I was going to see my bf and i text one of the lads to say I wouldnt be out tonight but I'll talk to them over the weekend..... about 10 mins later I get a 4 page text from her telling me Im gonna regret being with my bf, he is too old, I will get hurt, I should be single and not wast my time etc....... WTF?!!!

The only bad thing Ive ever said about my bf is that he is a bit scatterbrained and its irritating sometimes ..... and from this she thinks im doomed etc..

I have avoided many a social situation because I know she will be there, but it means missing out on time with my friends... I just dont know how to get around her and tell her to fcuk off!!!!!

Ginny

tell her you've asked her politely already, it doesn't seem to be working, so now I'm saying F-off unless i ask for your advice and opinion I don't want to hear it about my relationship.

Das Kitty

Is she the type of person that if you offered any advice to her, or gave her a gentle slagging that she'd fly off the handle?

Sorry but she reminds me of a former "friend" of mine, so that's why I'm asking.

To be honest, I'd cut her out, she's not going to change really if she had the balls to text you something like that. I'd text back and tell her to concentrate on her own relationship and leave yours alone. She's going to tell you she's only trying to help and be honest with you but she's not, she's trying to sew seeds of doubt and have power over you. Don't let her.

Anyways, I know I'm a bit biased but the ole alarm bells were ringing when I read your post.

ciagr297

as Ginny said, you already warned her. now you are within your rights to tell her to fcuk off. just be firm, not nasty about it.
you also don't need to give her a blow-by-blow account of why. just say you asked her before and now you are telling her.
been in this situation before, and its a not nice thing to be forced to do but better off drawing your boundaries now

Dragan

People tend to do this a lot, suffer someone they don't like because of a group social dynamic. It's not something have ever really been any good at to be honest, and i normally just explain to them quietly that i don't like them so it's best if we just don't talk and interact.

If they can't get that hint i step it up a notch. The truth of it is that most of these things can be solved politely and quietly. If she wants to tear off and tell the world then that is her issue.

This

. it would seem she is less 'helpful' (!!!) with the friends she has known along time...

I just dont wanna cause tension in the group.... as there is an equal amount of mine/her friends and I dont want it to become a huge issue.


I just dont wanna upset her either

Xiney

"Thank you for your opinion. *turn to someone else* So Ger, how are you enjoying your new car?"


Change the subject. Do not engage. Ignore her text messages.

MJOR

I think that a big if ignoring woould go a long way!!!

ztoical

Had someone like that drive me cracked for a few months. Not a friend or a friend of a friend but a girl in work. She was the gf of a pretty popular lad so people put up with alot of crap from her. She was always telling people what to do with regards relationships. Even went up to a girl in a pub she didn't know and started telling her she'd regret dumping her boyfriend after over hearing bits of her conversation. She went off at me on a staff night out, telling me I needed to lose weight as that was the only way to be happy, this came out of nowhere and everyone at the table looked very confused. Girl had serious issues.

There are some people who just seem to think they know everything and can't stop themselves. Only way to deal is direct full on "dear pain in the ass, F*CK OFF", anything else just won't register.

Abi

This wrote: »

.it would seem she is less 'helpful' (!!!) with the friends she has known along time...

I just dont wanna cause tension in the group.... as there is an equal amount of mine/her friends and I dont want it to become a huge issue.

I just dont wanna upset her either

Funny that, from what you've told us- she doesn't really seem to care who she hurts with her 'opinions' and 'honesty'.

After her 4 pages of honesty, what exactly did you you say back to her?? You said she is more of a friend of a friend, so I personally would have been far less tolerable.

"Who asked you?" would have been appropriate.

Maccattack

i have a great idea. lie to them. be weak!

Thoie

"Thanks, that's a great idea, wish I'd thought of it. I've dumped him now and will be moving in with you on Monday, where you can have opinions on every aspect of my life. While waiting for the removal men, I'm not sure whether to go with the strawberry or lemon cheesecake - what do you recommend? I'm also unsure what colour knickers to wear today, but would be interested in hearing your thoughts on the matter."

This

met her in the pub last night.... my bf was pretty drunk and she told me i had better take him home coz thats the right thing for me to do... i was like he can find his own way home if he wants to... so i tell him im leaving and he says hes staying.... grand doznt bother me... get a text from his bro to say he has thrown up on her and would i take him home... i glady did then with a huge smile on my face