Found Sexy Stocking

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

My head is a mess and I really need some advice. My self and my bf of 2 years moved in together in January. It’s a modern apartment in the City Centre (Dublin). A couple lived there before us but when we moved in the place was spotless.

Last night I was tidying up our room and decided to change the bed sheets. I found a stocking behind the bed. It was black and sheer with a red hold up on it, very sexy. I have changed the sheets loads of times and have hovered behind the bed etc and have never come across anything before. My heart was racing so I went into the front room and asked my bf where it had come from. He looked genuinely surprised and said he had no idea. I got a little upset, not accusing him just a bit shaky and he said he honestly had no clue where it came form and that it must have been from the people who lived there before. He seemed so sincere and kept kissing me and reassuring me but I still have my doubts.

Surely the cleaner would have found this? Surely I would found it before now?
Am I naïve to believe him that he knows nothing about it?

He hasn’t cheated before as far as I know but we haven’t been getting along great lately..
Help!

Victor

Do you use a launderette?

There is no sock monster - the socks merely end up lodged in other items of clothes that you don't wear very often and then when you find it, the other 3 matching sock look different, so you then think there two odd socks.

I once found a rather nice pear off ladies Sloggis in my laundry when I got back from the launderette. Not mine, nor belonging to anyone I knew.

Oh The Humanity

Dont panic.

His reaction was cool and doesn't really sound the reaction of a guilty man.

Is it possible it got mixed into the washing somehow....and fell out of a pillowcase or sheet?

You mention a cleaner....is it hers, maybe she brings a secret lover to the apartment when you are at work.....

Stay calm and think carefully.

kittenkiller

No one can tell you what to believe.
You either trust him or don't.

Ask him again and see if his story changes.

Sucky situation to be in though.
Best of luck.

LegacyUser

He could be engaging in a little crossdressing and is too embarrassed to admit it! I'm not kidding btw, this once happened to an ex-girlfriend of mine! She thought he was cheating but it ended up he wasn't, so consider that option

wexford202

No honstley I would believe this guy.

I bought a second hand car. It had one owner before me and I bought it from a garage.

It had a full valet and everything. (Excuse spelling)

I cleaned it so often and cleaned it very well. After I had it about a year I was hovering under the seats and found a used condom! I nearly died as I was the only person driving this car from when I bought it. My hubbby has work car and home car so he had no need to use mine.
I got a huge fright as I kept thinking what if he cleaned the car one day for me and found that. What would he think. I'm sure he would believe me as I am really not the sort to cheat but it could cast doubt.

Those stockings are very static and could have been stuck to the matress or anything. I'm sure if your fella was ever going to do anything he wouldn't bring someone back to the bed he shares with you. Forget about it.

VaioCruiser

There will be LOTS of posts telling you to leave this guy and people jumping to conclusions.... which I don't personally feel helps the situation.

How certain are you that you could not have overlooked it ? and I mean CERTAIN, not pretty sure .... :rolleyes: because your relationship depends on that certainty.

If you are CERTAIN, then you need to stand your ground and face him down and then assess where you stand.

If you are not CERTAIN, then in my view you have little alternative but to take his word and do your best to move on, while keeping a close eye on him for a while. I say take his word because trust is a critical element of any relationship and without being certain, you must trust him in my opinion.

All the best.

messygirl

if i was having sex with a guy who had a girlfriend in their bed i would make damn sure that i left wearing/bringing the stockings i had on, and if your boyfriend was having sex with another girl he would make sure to get rid of the evidence and take a pretty conspicous stocking!

I wouldn't worry about it too much, just keep an eye out for any other suspicios behaviour,

VaioCruiser

sunflower27 wrote: »

No-one has said she should leave him - not one so far

You are right sunflower.... I am SO impressed and feel a little silly now I agree... :P

wexford202

sunflower27 wrote: »

No-one has said she should leave him - not one so far

I am confused too as nobody is saying that.

She knows he a good guy. She only needed reassurance.

Nevyn

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

LegacyUser

I have a feeling this is going to turn into a monster thread!

This brings me back to when I bought my car (used), recently I found an earring in a little compartment and my heart SANK! I was convinced my husband had a lady in the car and brought it up with him, he didn't have a clue but then logic sank in, the butterfly was on it, it was in a compartment - had it been a dirty fumble then the earring would be in the footwell or somewhere similar. The car is far too small for rumpy pumpy anyway! I know how you feel though, it is bound to be going round your head but only you know by his reaction and what kind of man he is, what the truth is.

You may have not been getting on but it doesn't mean he is immediately going to jump into YOUR bed with a stocking clad woman.

It could well be the previous tenants but that all depends on if it is a furnished flat, it could have been stuck under the bed. I am sure if he was up to anything, the girl isn't going to leave afterwards without wondering where it had gone.

prinz

stockingmocking wrote: »

. He seemed so sincere and kept kissing me and reassuring me but I still have my doubts.

Oh The Humanity wrote: »

Dont panic.
His reaction was cool and doesn't really sound the reaction of a guilty man.

IMO he's almost too cool. Keeps kissing the OP to keep her quiet and full reassurance? I find that reaction odd tbh. Suprised and curious yes..... going OTT to placate the gf sounds a bit off to me.

If you have a cleaner, and have made the beds, hoovered behind the bed before then it obviously wasn't the previous occupants. How it could fall out of a washed pillow case or duvet and end up behind the bed and no one take notice? Unlikely. People generally tend to fold/iron laundry etc.

chickenhawk

I once found an empty condom wrapper (not the type I use) under a now ex's bed. She acted surprised and said it must have been left there by the previous occupant but I later learned that her reaction is the one she saves for when she's lieing. I'm not saying your boyfriend is cheating but just cause everyone on here says he's not doesn't mean crap cause we don't know him.

LegacyUser

chickenhawk wrote: »

I once found an empty condom wrapper (not the type I use) under a now ex's bed. She acted surprised and said it must have been left there by the previous occupant but I later learned that her reaction is the one she saves for when she's lieing. I'm not saying your boyfriend is cheating but just cause everyone on here says he's not doesn't mean crap cause we don't know him.

OP here...thanks for the rplies fo far guys.

Just to clarify, we don't have a cleaner but teh place was spotless when we moved in so I assume the Real Estate company have a cleaner.

We have been there for 6 months. I do most of the cleaning and I've pulled that bed out a million times. It doesn't seem right that it fell from the bed or whatever now. I wear stockings for my guy too cause he loves them. I'm so sickened by this but am trying to stay calm, innocent until proven otherwise and all that but maybe this is proof??

He says he doesn't know but I have doubts now. If he found boxers I'm sure he'd be freaked out. He's a musician too in a successful band so he has no trouble attracting women. Please help me...what would you do?

VaioCruiser

sunflower27 wrote: »

Sorry, can you clarify who you are talking about here?

I havent seen any unhelpful posts

Me neither .... perhaps it was an error...

Oh The Humanity

Is the cleaner female?

If so does she come to clean the flat when ye are out?

Well, its not beyond the bounds of possibilities she used the room for a bit of entertainment of her own......

I would think OP knows her own boyfriend best and can judge his reaction better than us. You can put yourself through a lot of pain being paranoid.

Many men are very disinterested in clothes and washing etc so his lack of panic wouldn't really worry me at all. Like everyone says if there was some girl there she would hardly have left with only one stocking on.

I mean its deffo one to watch but if its an isolated happening I wouldn't get all churned up about it.

wexford202

I really wouldn't think your guy is up to anything.

How were you getting on with each other up to this point? Were things perfectly fine or had he behaving different?

You have no reason to doubt him at all if he didn't change at all.

Plus the poor guy could be really pissed off that you would think he did something like that, he will only comfort you for so long and then he will get amd if you mention it again.

I honestly think you would know if someone was in your room. Perfume smell? Bed messy? as guys are not known to be great at dressing beds?

Nope Nothing happened I'd be willing to bet on that one.

Das Kitty

Stockingmocking wrote: »

OP here...thanks for the rplies fo far guys.

Just to clarify, we don't have a cleaner but teh place was spotless when we moved in so I assume the Real Estate company have a cleaner.

We have been there for 6 months. I do most of the cleaning and I've pulled that bed out a million times. It doesn't seem right that it fell from the bed or whatever now. I wear stockings for my guy too cause he loves them. I'm so sickened by this but am trying to stay calm, innocent until proven otherwise and all that but maybe this is proof??

He says he doesn't know but I have doubts now. If he found boxers I'm sure he'd be freaked out. He's a musician too in a successful band so he has no trouble attracting women. Please help me...what would you do?

We can't help you trust him if you don't.

My instinct is that he's telling the truth. Things get stuck places all the time, you're only in there since January, I'm in my place a lot longer and I found a baby sock in the kitchen the last day, must have been jammed behind one of the presses and finally fallen down. We don't have a baby but the previous occupants did.

I also found the pair of a sock that's been solo for about a year the last time I changed the sheets on the bed, must have been stuck in a corner or something.

The problem really is, you find a stocking and you instantly jump to "he's having an affair". If I found that I'd be telling OH that I'm not surprised the previous tenants had so many kids and having a laugh.

wexford202

Stockingmocking wrote: »

OP here...thanks for the rplies fo far guys.

Just to clarify, we don't have a cleaner but teh place was spotless when we moved in so I assume the Real Estate company have a cleaner.

We have been there for 6 months. I do most of the cleaning and I've pulled that bed out a million times. It doesn't seem right that it fell from the bed or whatever now. I wear stockings for my guy too cause he loves them. I'm so sickened by this but am trying to stay calm, innocent until proven otherwise and all that but maybe this is proof??

He says he doesn't know but I have doubts now. If he found boxers I'm sure he'd be freaked out. He's a musician too in a successful band so he has no trouble attracting women. Please help me...what would you do?

OK I have to take back a little reassurance that I have given you. If waering stockings is something that your guy is really into I wouldn't really blame you for being suss.

Not wanting to cast the same thought for every guy in a band as that is not fair. There are really good people in bands but you will have to ask yourself is he one of the good ones or is he a player!

Oh The Humanity

I wear stockings for my guy too cause he loves them.

If they are a signature kink of his then that puts a slightly different complexion on it.

So he has opportunity.......when is he in the flat and you out....?

Another thing to consider......this is way out there....but could it have been planted there by someone who is maybe jealous and sh1t stirring in your relationship.....say a friend who has a crush on your man unbeknowns to you.

You know the way you might be saying to your girlpal....'oh he loves stockings' and she decides she will drop one on the bed to cause hassle in the castle...its not unheard of and people can be terribly sneaky.

Im just trying to think of possibilites.....

LegacyUser

how dirty was it??? surely if it was there since before january it would look absolutely manky?
if it was newer you'd know.

LegacyUser

sunflower27 wrote: »

I dated a guy in a band (God, it was a good few years ago now and they were not remotely successful in the big scheme of things ) and I saw first-hand how up-front the girls would be.


It's just so odd that anyone would leave with just one stocking on - unless it was left there deliberately

Unless the girl he sh*gged (hypothetically speaking) is one of these groupies who wants him to herself and intentionally 'forgot' to take all her things.

prinz

Any chance the stocking belongs to him? Who knows how much they do it for him... perhaps he kept one behind the bed to have alone time with His reaction says questionable at best, guilty at worst, but could be he has taken his fetish one step further and there is no one else involved.

LegacyUser

sunflower27 wrote: »

You know that very same thing crossed my mind when I read he was in a band.

I dated a guy in a band (God, it was a good few years ago now and they were not remotely successful in the big scheme of things ) and I saw first-hand how up-front the girls would be.

OP - have a good think about who has been in your place in the last month or so...

It's just so odd that anyone would leave with just one stocking on - unless it was left there deliberately

See that's what I was thinking too. We have sessions in our flat almost every weekend cause we live in the City Centre. I'm always there too though and he usually crashes before I do.

I'm thinking a girl wouldn't arrive wearing lingerie but must have had it with her, as in it must have been planned. Maybe she left it behind on purpose or maybe she couldn't find it anywhere. I don't know.

We have been fighting alot lately over mant things. We aren't used to living together I guess.

I don't know how to act around him now, this is at the forefront of my mind. He is a very good looking guy and girls love him. I have had to be unjealous (not a word I know but I'm frazzled) over the years but this is too much for me..

Oh The Humanity

Unregistered wrote: »

Unless the girl he sh*gged (hypothetically speaking) is one of these groupies who wants him to herself and intentionally 'forgot' to take all her things.

Exactly, it smacks of something done deliberately. All the person needed was opportunity to plant it and knowledge that stockings are his thing.

It doesn't mean he slept with anyone. I think the stocking might have been put there deliberately.

Or is that straying too far into conspiracy theory.....hard to know. Anyone suspicious OP that could have done this for a wind up.

MAYBE its someone who fancies YOU....a male with a manipulative mind who wants t sh1t stir.......again all they need is the knowledge and the opportunity.

Tattoo Stan

I slept with an ex once while p!ssed and she deliberately left her underwear behind so that my girlfriend at the time would find them.

I don't know why she did, but I am telling you it happened 100%.

My girlfriend found them while I was there. I was shocked but made out it was nothing to do with me, probably my flatmate. This was totally made up.

I wouldn't dismiss this so quickly. He could very well have cheated.

I did.

I find it odd people think he might be a cross dresser, ahead of thinking some girl left it behind some hungover morning. I know a lot more people who've cheated than secret cross-dressers.

LegacyUser

sunflower27 wrote: »

OP - try and stay calm.

I really, gut feeling, think someone is jealous of your relationship. Good-looking guy in a band... women love him....

The stocking is just so contrived, if you know what I mean. I mean, how original!!! :rolleyes:

Only you saw his reaction when you showed him the stocking. I really think therein lies the answer. If he'd cheated, he'd have shown something - guilt, fear etc.

Well he didn't show fear or guilt, he kinda laughed and then said jokingly 'stop waving that thing at me!'. He was laughing but then I got upset and he reassured me like 'baby, I have never seen that before in my life...who do you think I am...why would I cheat when I have you blah blah blah

topper75

Stockingmocking wrote: »

OP here...I wear stockings for my guy too cause he loves them. quote]

There you go.

It belongs to him! Not crossdressing - just a 'toy'. He gets off on it. No idea where he got it - could have just bought a pair himself in a lingerie shop. He takes it out to get off on when you ain't around. He hid it there and denied knowledge of it when you found it. He won't admit to this ever I'd say. That is cool though. Such are men. He hasn't cheated. Rest easy.

shellyboo

prinz wrote: »

Any chance the stocking belongs to him? Who knows how much they do it for him... perhaps he kept one behind the bed to have alone time with His reaction says questionable at best, guilty at worst, but could be he has taken his fetish one step further and there is no one else involved.

Ooh, this!! It could so be this. He could have been using it to masturbate with.

Good thinking, Detective Prinz.


OP, I wouldn't worry, just try to stay calm. What will be will be and the truth will out - I think you should trust him.

Tattoo Stan

Stockingmocking wrote: »

Well he didn't show fear or guilt, he kinda laughed and then said jokingly 'stop waving that thing at me!'. He was laughing but then I got upset and he reassured me like 'baby, I have never seen that before in my life...who do you think I am...why would I cheat when I have you blah blah blah

I'm really sorry to say this, but that's pretty much exactly what I did when I was caught (see above)

LegacyUser

Stockingmocking wrote: »

Well he didn't show fear or guilt, he kinda laughed and then said jokingly 'stop waving that thing at me!'. He was laughing but then I got upset and he reassured me like 'baby, I have never seen that before in my life...who do you think I am...why would I cheat when I have you blah blah blah

isnt this the classic answer for a cheater?? i.e. 'why would i'? as in he doesn't not deny but evades!

sorry op but the more you tell us the more i'm starting to think he's cheating.

and im the one who posted the question about the dirtiness of the stocking...maybe if you answer that it might shed some light on things.

Tattoo Stan

wexford202 wrote: »

I really wouldn't think your guy is up to anything.
Nope Nothing happened I'd be willing to bet on that one.

What is this based on other than irrelevant good intentions?

It wasn't there before and is now - which of these is more likely:

a) He's a cross-dresser
b) Someone left it there as a joke
c) A girl took it off before they had sex and couldn't find it the next morning as she was leaving

This kind of "everything will be alright" response is crazy! It would be a different response if it was your sister/daughter involved I'd bet.

chickenhawk

Tattoo Stan wrote: »

I'm really sorry to say this, but that's pretty much exactly what I did when I was caught (see above)

I agree. Cheaters aren't going to put up their hands and say "oh you've caught me well done". They'll do anything to deny it and try to act as casual as possible.

Again not saying he's guilty but I wouldn't say he's innocent just cause he's able to put on an act. I don't want to freak you out but there's no point in hiding from the truth.

LegacyUser

chickenhawk wrote: »

I agree. Cheaters aren't going to put up their hands and say "oh you've caught me well done". They'll do anything to deny it and try to act as casual as possible.

Again not saying he's guilty but I wouldn't say he's innocent just cause he's able to put on an act. I don't want to freak you out but there's no point in hiding from the truth.

Op Here...I agree but what should I do?? I can't make him admit to it but I have a very weird feeling about this. It doesn't add up.

I don't knwo what to do. I'm going to confront him later on but I knwo he will deny it to teh ground so what can I do?? I obviously don't trust him if this is my reaction. I thought I did trust him but I clearly don't.

I'm not sure what to believe

chickenhawk

Stockingmocking wrote: »

Op Here...I agree but what should I do?? I can't make him admit to it but I have a very weird feeling about this. It doesn't add up.

I don't knwo what to do. I'm going to confront him later on but I knwo he will deny it to teh ground so what can I do?? I obviously don't trust him if this is my reaction. I thought I did trust him but I clearly don't.

I'm not sure what to believe

Well has their being any other signs of him cheating? Being protective of his phone/internet etc. Usually there's more then one thing. But people only realise it after.

Oh The Humanity

Stockingmocking wrote: »

Op Here...I agree but what should I do?? I can't make him admit to it but I have a very weird feeling about this. It doesn't add up.

I don't knwo what to do. I'm going to confront him later on but I knwo he will deny it to teh ground so what can I do?? I obviously don't trust him if this is my reaction. I thought I did trust him but I clearly don't.

I'm not sure what to believe

Snoop Be vigilant from now on.....but if you do act as if you have forgotton about the stocking. Lull him into a false sense of security.

ManOfMystery

If he did cheat and some girl left it there, he might want to give it back to her. Have you got rid of it? If not, make a show of putting it in a bag and throwing it out, then check if he has reclaimed it later.

barleybooley

I wouldn't be so worried about the fact that a cleaner hadn't come across it after the old occupants moved out, our cleaner doesn't clean under the beds despite there being a fair bit of space between the frame and the floor. Cleaners don't tend to be really thorough in my experience. I'm taking it that your bed is one with wheels on the bottom or something and you moving it could have dislodged the stocking.

I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation, hopefully one that means he's not cheating. You're probably at the end of your tether with this so retire the issue to the back burner for the time being and unless he gives you reason for doubting him again, let it go. Easier said than done I know but for your own sake you need to do this. Otherwise, you'll find yourself analysing everything he says and does looking for indication that he's cheating and this could cause ye to break up.

I hope you'll be happy with whatever decision you make OP, my heart goes out to you.

All the best

Michelle

2Scoops

It also could have been his stocking. :pac:

Nevyn

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

2Scoops

I meant the situation could have an explanation that does not involve cheating, and it might be an idea to investigate this possibility as well as the others. The pacman made it look like a juvenile comment; it wasn't meant to be.

Tattoo Stan

ManOfMystery wrote: »

If he did cheat and some girl left it there, he might want to give it back to her.

I doubt it :rolleyes:

LegacyUser

If he did cheat, the stocking would either still be on her or put into her bag, not thrown behind the bed, unless as said before, it could have 'accidentally' fallen behind the bed.

I agree with the poster who said lull him into a false sense of security and don't bring the stocking up again - if you do he will be extra careful to watch his moves, so pretend to let it go but you need to keep a very close eye on him. He won't admit it no matter how much you bring it up so for now this is your only option. Unless you want out.

Did it look worn???

Good luck babes. xxx

prinz

shellyboo wrote: »

Ooh, this!! It could so be this. He could have been using it to masturbate with.
Good thinking, Detective Prinz.
OP, I wouldn't worry, just try to stay calm. What will be will be and the truth will out - I think you should trust him.

Not just a pretty face :pac:. No, if he has a thing for stockings then who knows what he got up to on his own. not cross dressing in it, just inspiration Maybe they belong to some girl he knows and he took one to enjoy .

All that said, IMO his reaction was pure guilt. Whatever the reason, could be cheating, could that he had his secret stash uncovered...

LegacyUser

sunflower27 wrote: »

Agree he is very unlikely to want to give it back to some girl.

OP - I hope you are OK. Did you talk to him?

Hi Sunflower,

Thanks for asking how I am. Well I went home last night and acted nice and friendly. After dinner we were sitting drinking wine watching tv and I said jokingly...so, was she better then me? and he said in an annoyed tone 'Was who better?'...I said stocking girl.
He got really agitated and said to me that he wasn't getting into a conversation about such a ridiculous thing..he said I was acting crazy and suspicious and that he wanted me to agree not to bring it up again.

The evening just felt awkward then. He finished up his wine and went to bed to read for a while. He doesn't normally go to bed before 12pm but he was in bed by 11pm.

My gut is telling me something is up. It's not fair that he's making me feel crazy (I actually do feel silly now) because if he found boxers he'd be angry.

Also, these stockings were sheer, not the static kind.

Should I just let it go? What would you do in my shoes?

Tattoo Stan

God that's a tough one.

Having been the offender in this situation, him being annoyed seems strange.

If innocent, a laugh would be the absolute appropriate response, but slinking of to bed on his own really does suggest a guilty conscience.

You're gonna have to ask him straight out or find out....you can't go on like this.

LegacyUser

Im going through exctly the same thing now with my o/h. except I didnt find a sexy stocking. other little things are not adding up though.
he makes me feel like a physco for asking him anything and even said "sure why would i cheat when i have you".
its really hard to believe he would but i have this niggling little feeling which i havent had before in the 8 years we have been together.
i suppose what im saying is I just have to sit back and wait, and try and put it out of my head, because if im wrong Im going to drive myself crazy and actually convince myself that he is cheating.
So until I have further evidence Ill be giving him the benefit of the doubt, more so for my own sanity than anything else.

LegacyUser

If I was the accused, and innocent, I would reply with oh don't be daft, I love you too much to hurt you. If I was guilty I would feel so bad that I would tell him not to bring the subject up again.

Sounds childish but why don't you buy some boxers (ones that obviously wouldn't be his) and plant them where he would find them.

I find it difficult as to why the stocking was there, surely during the deed the whole point is to keep them on, if it was knickers or bra I would understand.

Tattoo Stan

He may not be having an affair though. It sounds more like a one-night stand. Someone having an affair would be more careful I would think.

It's a horrible situation to be in.

LegacyUser

sunflower27 wrote: »

I think you'd be more likely to find a stocking. You can leave without that but would be less likely to leave without your bra on or a pair of knickers

I guess so.

Did it look like it had been used or could it have been a new one from a pack planted there?

Hope everything is OK OP.