I love Oz but we do xxxxx better.....

shane86

Im trying to come up with all the things we have better, or that are god awful here in Oz. Mainly to annoy my mates Aussie missus who is coming back to the old country on holiday soon, a sort of, wait til you see how much better our (whatever) is (it might shut her up about us still living like Angelas feckin Ashes)

Off the top of my head:

Nearly all Aussie crisps are tasteless cardboard sh1t. Even Smiths ffs, despite being owned by Walkers!

There doesnt seem to be anywhere that does a typical quarter pounder like you get in an Italian chipper back home. Any burger not from the US chains Ive got here has been greasy, badly built sh1t, same type you get from Eddie Rockets back home if you are thick enough to go to them. And for some reason Aussie lettuce is watery bland sh1te.

Hungry Jack aint no Burger King.

Bondi Beach isnt ALL that.

KFC is dryer than the outback, pricey, and the servings are tiny.

Aussies are shockingly disorganised. And coming from a country where we build road tunnels too small for trucks you know it must be bad.

In a city of 5 million people and a great deal of them Italian it is a pain in the arse to get truly good pizza in Sydney, the kebab house pizza is mkiddling but most of the rest is shockingly bad. In Dublin its hard to get a poor one.

Yes, I know they have to put some anti melting substance into it, but Cadburys here is fooking awful.

McDonalds in Ireland usually have more than 2 staff on till.


Dont get me wrong, I love it here but god there are some things the Aussies just cant get right! Mainly food related for some reason. And Im trying to come up with abuse against a girl who claims outlandish things like Australia invented indoor ceilings

Contribute......

daftdave

shane86 wrote: »

Im trying to come up with all the things we have better, or that are god awful here in Oz. Mainly to annoy my mates Aussie missus who is coming back to the old country on holiday soon, a sort of, wait til you see how much better our (whatever) is (it might shut her up about us still living like Angelas feckin Ashes)

Off the top of my head:

Nearly all Aussie crisps are tasteless cardboard sh1t. Even Smiths ffs, despite being owned by Walkers!

There doesnt seem to be anywhere that does a typical quarter pounder like you get in an Italian chipper back home. Any burger not from the US chains Ive got here has been greasy, badly built sh1t, same type you get from Eddie Rockets back home if you are thick enough to go to them. And for some reason Aussie lettuce is watery bland sh1te.

Hungry Jack aint no Burger King.

Bondi Beach isnt ALL that.

KFC is dryer than the outback, pricey, and the servings are tiny.

Aussies are shockingly disorganised. And coming from a country where we build road tunnels too small for trucks you know it must be bad.

In a city of 5 million people and a great deal of them Italian it is a pain in the arse to get truly good pizza in Sydney, the kebab house pizza is mkiddling but most of the rest is shockingly bad. In Dublin its hard to get a poor one.

Yes, I know they have to put some anti melting substance into it, but Cadburys here is fooking awful.

McDonalds in Ireland usually have more than 2 staff on till.


Dont get me wrong, I love it here but god there are some things the Aussies just cant get right! Mainly food related for some reason. And Im trying to come up with abuse against a girl who claims outlandish things like Australia invented indoor ceilings

Contribute......

for starters coles cheese and onion crisps are lovely and woolies salt and vinegar one are good also..... eddie rockets is lovely fast food .... as for calling people that go there "thick".....:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:....

the lettuce tastes the same to me as it does back home .....

agree with ya on the kfc point.

aussie's are not disorganised they are just a bit more laid back than we are.

as for the bold highlighted part , i dont have a notion what you are on about there.

i have'nt had chocolate so i cant comment on your cadburys point.

all in all you are not really getting anywhere fast with your argument !

shane86

daftdave wrote: »

the lettuce tastes the same to me as it does back home .....

Only the stuff from the US chains. Most of the rest is gash.

aussie's are not disorganised they are just a bit more laid back than we are.

There is a fine line between being disorganised and being downright dangerous. They make us look like Germans in comparison.

To reiterate, I love this place and can probably see myself staying for good....but some stuff, jesus.


Another to add: Sydney pubs/ clubs toilets are a disgrace, be they expensive places or sh1thole bars Ive never seen one you didnt have to hold your breath in.

Mind you, I suppose I can put up with great club- **** toilets rather than back home with sh1t nightclub- clean jacks

Mahatma coat

Sausages

Aussies have no concep of what a real sausage should taste like.

Beef FFS, what right minded indivdual thinks Beef sausages are a good idea.

their Bacon is also streaky rubish.

and as for crisps, I would agree about smiths, but Red Rock Deli save australia in that department

brendansmith

Since i came out here i have realised that i hate Ireland and never want to go back.

hussey

PORK sausages ... WTF is 'meat' sausage?
Chips, why do fish and chip shops always serve frozen crap?

waraf

Stupid bloody little glasses of beer - midis, pots and all that sh!te. Just give me a fcuking pint and keep your little girly glasses thanks.

Bundy and coke. I don't care if it's on draught, premixed in a can, in a pitcher or just served normally. It's just ghey.

Mullets, sleevless shirts and working shorts that are 4 sizes too small. Fashion sense is not common in Oz.

Modesty. A word that doesn't appear in any Australian's vocabulary.

Oh sorry, isn't this the Ranting and Raving forum

The Sweeper

I love it here.

But the Irish do the pig better than the Australians, in all of its forms, cuts, smokes, brines and by-products.

Dairy and pig products are the two things I miss from Ireland, and UK-style Indian curry houses and Marks and Spencers from England. Oh - and the BBC. Aussie news is shoite.

DamoDLK

I miss Top Gear... the real one that is..

Derek B

Butter

Aussie comedians are generally terrible

devereaux17

I've never been to Oz but Ireland does outward tolerance better

Derek B

Can we add things they do better than Ireland? ;-)

1. Prepaid phone credit

DamoDLK

Derek B wrote: »

Can we add things they do better than Ireland? ;-)

1. Prepaid phone credit

Na he's trying to wind the mates missus up...:p

DamoDLK

shane86 wrote: »

Yes, I know they have to put some anti melting substance into it, but Cadburys here is fooking awful.

Would a chilled fridge not do the trick here? and leave well good alone!

hussey

Minesajackdaniels wrote: »

Oh - and the BBC. Aussie news is shoite.

DamoDLK wrote: »

I miss Top Gear... the real one that is..

SBS for both of these.

Though I agree channel 7,9,10 sensationalist crap

that reminds me

F*CKING TV ADS, 90min movie + ads = 150MIN! Dead serious, I watched the incredibles ... it went on for 2.5hrs! it's only f*cking 88mins! grrrrrrrrr

and those Today tonight & current affair ... dear god,

Derek B

Mahatma coat wrote: »

Sausages

Aussies have no concep of what a real sausage should taste like.

And sausage rolls

shane86

Derek B wrote: »

Can we add things they do better than Ireland? ;-)

1. Prepaid phone credit

Meh, only half. We charge by the second, these cnuts charge a dollar if the person doesnt pick up (though seeing as you get more than 4 times your purchase for free I guess I shouldnt complain. But I will )

Ive never understood the pork thing the Irish gripe about here, most of my local cafs do a great fry up in general. About twice the food you would get from some stingy caf in Dublin for half the price, fry up here fills you for a good 8 hours.

waraf wrote: »

Stupid bloody little glasses of beer - midis, pots and all that sh!te. Just give me a fcuking pint and keep your little girly glasses thanks.

Christ how did I forget. Any Irishman who willingly drinks a schooner when reasonably priced pints of decent beer are on offer is a lesser form of life tbh. Beer from a schooner is like drinking canned courvoisier, it just shouldnt be done.

DamoDLK wrote: »

Would a chilled fridge not do the trick here? and leave well good alone!

Its not like it even works! Any chocolate I ever bought at the height of summer was half melted anyway.


Another gripe- public transport. Nothing like a trip to an intended destination up the country passing train stations with little or no signage and no announcements regarding where you have arrived. And the Sydney subway on a Sunday- one train every 15 if you are lucky.

Spiritoftheseventies

you always go back to the one you love

Derek B

shane86 wrote: »

Christ how did I forget. Any Irishman who willingly drinks a schooner when reasonably priced pints of decent beer are on offer is a lesser form of life tbh. Beer from a schooner is like drinking canned courvoisier, it just shouldnt be done.

If you're in a bar at night then yes, pints all the way...but if you're out in the mid-summer heat, then I don't want to be drinking warm beer so schooners work better

mickoneill30

Barmen.

In many of the pubs I went to in Oz the barman (or barteenager) would take each order individually, pull your schooner or pint, take your money and then ask the next person what they wanted. You could be all day waiting as they worked through a queue.

In most of the pubs here the barmen are capable of asking 5 people in a row what they want so more than one beer can be pulled at the same time.

daftdave

right in the middle of a match on tv, and bam ,,...... ads .., how frucking annoying is that !!

Zambia

True Belfast had the best sausages in the world Ireland was a poor runner up Aussie sausages are pretty grim. But its fun looking.

Red rock deli are fab and do save crisps respect to Mahatma.

No potato bread, except for the nice man in keilor who makes it for us special.

We miss tescos

Apart from that I love Australia...

As for KFC its fat saturated crap in both places. Eddies was fab as well , just dont have the burgers.

Jagera

It sure has turned into a rant about sausages and beer glass size and whats on telly.. pretty important stuff.

nxbyveromdwjpg

Television

CHIPS.. proper chipper chips, not the frozen generic crap ones you get everywhere in Oz (apart from that one fish n chip shop in the westend in Brisbane.. lovely)

Deli Rolls

And as has been said, sausages and chocolate.

Vinegar aswell but i suppose that ties in with the chips above.

Zambia

bw wrote: »

It sure has turned into a rant about sausages and beer glass size and whats on telly.. pretty important stuff.

Yes , in ireland i bitched about the economy , legal issues , state of the nation etc

Here I bitch about Sausages and the telly ....

Dubrub

Sausages -- Aussies sausages are terrible
Mayonnaise -- Aussie mayonnaise is like man juice,,
Chocolate -- You will really appreciated Irish chocolate if you have every tasted Aussies
Pubs -- What is it with Aussies obsession with poker machines in pubs!!! Pubs are for drinking and having the Craic!
Australians - Aggressive, impolite, rude people!!
Supermarket - Coles V's Superquinn,,, no contest
Cinemas -- Movies come out in Ireland a month before Australia
Rain -- It rains more in Sydney than in Dublin -- fact!!! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dublin#Climate
TV - Australian TV really is crap!

mickoneill30

Zambia232 wrote: »

Yes , in ireland i bitched about the economy , legal issues , state of the nation etc

How long have you been there for? There was plenty of bitching about the economy, government, traffic etc. when I was there (Sydney). This is by Aussies though. If you're there on a 1 year visa who cares about that crap?

Although I was there when Howard was in power. Maybe it's all better now.

Jagera

Zambia232 wrote: »

Yes , in ireland i bitched about the economy , legal issues , state of the nation etc

Here I bitch about Sausages and the telly ....

Classic! I am the same, but opposite direction to you. Spent some time in Ireland hearing whinging about traffic, drink/house prices, then got back home and I whinged about the crap oz telly. I was brought up on the food so it doesnt bother me - I just chopped my sleeves off and grew a mullet and got back into the swing of things.. :cool:

Zambia

mickoneill30 wrote: »

How long have you been there for? There was plenty of bitching about the economy, government, traffic etc. when I was there (Sydney). This is by Aussies though. If you're there on a 1 year visa who cares about that crap?

Although I was there when Howard was in power. Maybe it's all better now.

What Aussies bitch about is what Aussies bitch about Im irish. I know what I bitch about thanks.

If I was too bitch about life here migrating was a huge mistake.

mickoneill30

Zambia232 wrote: »

What Aussies bitch about is what Aussies bitch about Im irish. I know what I bitch about thanks.

If I was too bitch about life here migrating was a huge mistake.

I wasn't having a go at you. Don't be so touchy.

Xavi6

Breakfast/chicken fillet rolls. Oh how I long for a Spar around the corner when hungover.

TV ads, especially during the footy. Some lad scores a screamer and instead of showing a replay we see the same feckin Toyota car ad we saw precisely 2 minutes earlier.

Nightclub choons. No one's heard of Maniac 2000 and there's waaaay too much drum n bass/r n b for my liking.

Comedy

Guinness

Sports shops

NOGMaxpower

Any of the dairy produced in Oz is extremely poor quality.
Having lived there and having a Aussie Fiancé my biggest gripe is the crap milk that they have. I enjoy a pint of milk sometimes (hungover) and can't stand the creamy crap they've got.

I dont mass produce pork products period. I trapsed aroudn Melbourne for a day looking for pork sausages and no joy. I could find, chicken, beef, goat and lamb sausages but no Pork "WTF".

Also the bacon in Oz is worse than what you'd get in Mc Donalds in Eire.

Their beer is of low grade quality with the exception of Crownies. They are obsessed with weak beers and full strength is only 4.5%.

Drinking water in Oz is piss poor too nearly everyhting needs to be bottled.

Lets not go down the route of all the things that can kill you in Oz too.

on the flip side, i love Australia... its an amazing place and well i'll be moving there soon but not to the East Coast i will be off WA Perth. Perth is much like home, great craic, great people and they have a really good attitude towards comunity. Its a diverse culture but still holds true to the old addage of being a "True Blue".

Crisps are crap over their too!

I can get over all of the above bar the milk thing. It just isn't the same at all, kinda like putting dairy cream onto a bowl of cereal. I k now they ahv eother milk thats not too bad but its no Premier Dairies.

Stuff thats better:
Wine
Fish
Beef
Weather
Beaches
Cars
Roads
Fruit
Vegetables
Ethnic diversity in terms of food/resteraunts
Women
Gambling
Casinos
Natural wonders Ularu 12 Appositles barrier reef etc
Wild life
Out door activities
Education
Health
Tax
Hunting

I agree its mostly food issues Oh and the fact that most Aussie blokes are pig headed male shovinist pigs.

NOGMaxpower

Bad:

Music
Night clubs, slow sets ffs
Pubs
It gets dark every night at 7pm no matter what time of the year

devereaux17

guess australia is better in every single way than ireland because most what people are saying they miss about ireland really isn't irish as such. i'd never move to australia tho cant wait to move to lyon

altho having said that ireland and australia is not really a fair comparison, i mean i read here that ireland is closer to moscow than sydney is to perth. so thats like the very far west of europe to like as east as it gets.

oh ye its the same when i was in the usa, dark after 7, i love ireland during summer cause you can be out and about at like 10.00 pm and its still bright

DamoDLK

NOGMaxpower wrote: »

Stuff thats better:

Cars

WHAT!!!!???? where? how? lol

Zambia

Damo you cant be serious ireland only ever produced the Shamrock and the DeLorian in Belfast.

Give me a Holden 307 R8 Commodore any day of the week...

Coileach dearg

NOGMaxpower wrote: »

Their beer is of low grade quality with the exception of Crownies. They are obsessed with weak beers and full strength is only 4.5%.

:eek: Crown lager is the biggest pile of piss alongside Tooheys New!

Coopers Pale Ale and Tooheys Extra dry, if we had these 2 beers in Ireland we'd all be alcoholics;)

Nearly sure most beers out here are 4.9 or 5%...

Zambia

In Ireland I loved a big creamy pint of Black

In Belfast I loved a cold bottle of Heineken from my fridge as everything from a pub in Belfast tasted like pee.

In Oz i tend to stack the fridge with whatever takes my fancy in the Bootle shop
not to mention the fact slabs are for nothing...

Mahatma coat

Zambia232 wrote: »

Damo you cant be serious ireland only ever produced the Shamrock and the DeLorian in Belfast.

you know I was beginnin to like you til this

Give me a Holden 307 R8 Commodore any day of the week...

FORD Maaaate, Ford.

if you are gonna but an Aussie Car get a Falcon

daftdave

the gravy over here is ****e also........ if they used bisto instead of gravox , they would have a sunday dinner everyday !

shane86

NOGMaxpower wrote: »

Night clubs, slow sets ffs

Please tell me where you are so I can avoid it! The quality tunes in pretty much any Sydney nightclub are half the reason Im here, the nightlife is unbelieveable, completely devoid of the cheese you get back in Dublin (you know, the old Dublin clearing out music that consists of songs from the Grease soundtrack, FFS like). Boomerangs, Barcode, Redz, you simply dont seem to get clubs in Sydney as sh1t as those places.

Amazing as well that we do be kicking ourselves if we blow near on 200 in a quality spot like Home or Chinese Laundry despite back home routinely blowing 220 dollars equiv in some dive nightclub for a sh1te night of tunes.

2 dollar ATM charges for using ones not connected to your bank also makes them suck arse. Particularly for me, Im with ANZ, I think they have about 9 cash machines in the whole of Australia.:mad:

BraziliaNZ

waraf wrote: »

Stupid bloody little glasses of beer - midis, pots and all that sh!te. Just give me a fcuking pint and keep your little girly glasses thanks.

Bundy and coke. I don't care if it's on draught, premixed in a can, in a pitcher or just served normally. It's just ghey.

Mullets, sleevless shirts and working shorts that are 4 sizes too small. Fashion sense is not common in Oz.

Modesty. A word that doesn't appear in any Australian's vocabulary.

Oh sorry, isn't this the Ranting and Raving forum

Believe me i came back from Oz not too long ago and there are far more mullets here, and the dress sense is f*cking appauling. At least people don't wear tracksuits and pyjamas in Oz.
And they are far more organised. Better roads, better traffic management, better public transport, better policing, better everything really.
If crisps are the only thing you can nit pick at you really need to think again!

Jumpy

NOGMaxpower wrote: »

Education

NOGMaxpower wrote: »

I agree its mostly food issues Oh and the fact that most Aussie blokes are pig headed male shovinist pigs.

*chuckle*


Way to prove a point.

Zambia

Mahatma coat wrote: »

you know I was beginnin to like you til this

FORD Maaaate, Ford.

if you are gonna but an Aussie Car get a Falcon

This might help I already own a Falcon ...

Zambia

daftdave wrote: »

the gravy over here is ****e also........ if they used bisto instead of gravox , they would have a sunday dinner everyday !

True:o

L_gaucho

Dubrub wrote: »

TV - Australian TV really is crap!

Its been almost 10 yrs since there, but from what I remember there were better things to do than watch television..;) .... memories of Simpsons all day Sundays on fox....

The BOFH

Driving: Australians, especially West Australians, are crap drivers. Not unskilled, just rude & aggressive. They have no idea how to merge, either you get some dimwit trying to merge at 50kmph or a hoon in a V8 trying to ram you off the road.

BattyInNZ

I'm in NZ but the things people miss seem to be pretty similar - and the things they complain about too I've got a bit of practice in this sort of warfare - with me in-laws :rolleyes:

The food and drink argument is a matter of taste and what you've grown up with and you'll never win on that one. Go for things like...

Halloween originated in Ireland - that always impresses them! ??????
Aussie Rules - where did that come from I wonder??
The cheapest house in Ireland is at least Euro200 - that's out in the sticks and sure that's about $500,00 and you'd buy a house in a city in Oz for that! - that works really well

D'you know, there used to be loads a couple of years ago - education and health and all sorts of stuff that was better but the recession and Cowan have put paid to a lot of it and I've got to be careful now about what I say because it may not be true anymore!

Anyway, you just have to play on her weaknesses You know though as soon as she gets there and realises that the pigs and the chickens are not in the kitchen you won't have to say much at all. Recession or not, Ireland is a very modern country now and only a complete thicko (em?? ) will not realise it.

myhorse

bad - for 14 years now(from when I first came here) M.A.S.H. has been on constant repeat
it snowed yesterday where I am. need to get back down to the city
newspapers are pure muck
alot of the friggin buses are now running prepaid only which is a pain
property prices are still defying gravity in sidknee

Xavi6

The BOFH wrote: »

Driving: Australians, especially West Australians, are crap drivers. Not unskilled, just rude & aggressive. They have no idea how to merge, either you get some dimwit trying to merge at 50kmph or a hoon in a V8 trying to ram you off the road.

Irish drivers are faaaaaar worse.

I learnt how to drive over here and when I went back home earlier this year I couldn't believe how incompetent the Irish road users are.

Having said that, there are a lot of young idiots over here who are on automatic licenses from the age of 17 and haven't a clue what they're at. Everyone should be made learn manual first imo.

You Suck!

Missing Buckfast and high grade consumables......sigh