Got arrested last week, friends and some family don't know about it.

LegacyUser

Hi all, i managed to get myself arrested two weeks ago for a serious enough incident. The only two people who know about it are my sister and mum.

My father, all of my friends and all of my work colleagues, don't know about what happened as i have had to keep the whole thing quiet. I contacted a solicitor the day after my arrest, and he advised me not to tell these people about what happened.

My solicitor also advised me to go for counselling which i'm doing for six sessions, (i've done two sessions already)...and this has helped matters. Also, my solicitor has told me that i won't be jailed for the incident, as i'll probably have to pay a fine and recieve a warning/caution. As i'm a first time offender this looks like being the case.

I'm currently waiting to be summoned, which could take a while, and i'll have to take a day off work for it obviously.

I was talking to my Dad on the phone today which was tough, and i'm getting through the working week which is tough also as i can't tell anyone.

As i've said, the counselling is helping...and my counsellor wiil vouch for me when my case comes up.

Do you think i'm worrying too much about everything? How would you react in my position?

LegacyUser

You are having a very healthy reaction. Criminals don't react to breaking the law like this. Whatever you've done you are feeling the consequences and the remorse. Deal with the problem and put it behind you.

Táck

its hard to judge how others will react when we dont know what you did...

cruiser178

John4 wrote: »

Hi all, i managed to get myself arrested two weeks ago for a serious enough incident. The only two people who know about it are my sister and mum.

My father, all of my friends and all of my work colleagues, don't know about what happened as i have had to keep the whole thing quiet. I contacted a solicitor the day after my arrest, and he advised me not to tell these people about what happened.

My solicitor also advised me to go for counselling which i'm doing for six sessions, (i've done two sessions already)...and this has helped matters. Also, my solicitor has told me that i won't be jailed for the incident, as i'll probably have to pay a fine and recieve a warning/caution. As i'm a first time offender this looks like being the case.

I'm currently waiting to be summoned, which could take a while, and i'll have to take a day off work for it obviously.

I was talking to my Dad on the phone today which was tough, and i'm getting through the working week which is tough also as i can't tell anyone.

As i've said, the counselling is helping...and my counsellor wiil vouch for me when my case comes up.

Do you think i'm worrying too much about everything? How would you react in my position?

You need to get counselling for your crime but say theres no jail time,the mind boggles

gaz wac

Táck wrote: »

its hard to judge how others will react when we dont know what you did...

Why do we need to know what he did ? .OP if your sol thinks you wont be jailed and that you will only get a fine, you dont need to worry. Just keep the arrest to yourself, it dosent effect anyone else. Only problem that I can see, is that you cant get the cash for the fine! good luck

My friend was kinda in the same situation, got into a fight, got arrested, had to go to counciling and pay a fine to charity..only three of us know....the whole gang / his family dont need to know, one mistake, drunk and stupid.

leggo

Don't give info on the arrest if you don't want to...never mind the nosey people.

cruiser: For first-time offenders, unless we're talking an extremely serious crime, judges will simply look to see that they are getting rehabilitated in other ways and don't need to serve actual jail time. Which I presume is the reason for the counselling. Good to see that it's helping.

Your solicitor knows best dude. If he says keep quiet about it then do so. At least until the problem goes away...then you can let any guilt out when things are resolved and the incident won't cause anyone undue stress.

PK2008

If you go to court the details are going to be printed in your local paper.

If you have to go to counselling for your crime Im guessing it was something seriously inappropriate/shameful beyond the standard "driving without insurance stuff"

Do exactly what your solicitor tells you to do, thats what you're paying them for.

cruiser178

leggo wrote: »

Don't give info on the arrest if you don't want to...never mind the nosey people.

cruiser: For first-time offenders, unless we're talking an extremely serious crime, judges will simply look to see that they are getting rehabilitated in other ways and don't need to serve actual jail time. Which I presume is the reason for the counselling. Good to see that it's helping.

Your solicitor knows best dude. If he says keep quiet about it then do so. At least until the problem goes away...then you can let any guilt out when things are resolved and the incident won't cause anyone undue stress.

Makes sence.I would how ever be worried about the local paper,id rather tell my family then have them read it.I konw this because it has happened to me.

Overheal

Dont say it if you dont want to. theres plenty you don't talk with people about. I don't talk about what I do with a playboy magazine, why should I tell people I've been arrested if its not their problem? Unless your father etc. needs to be involved, don't involve them.

leggo

Makes sence.I would how ever be worried about the local paper,id rather tell my family then have them read it.I konw this because it has happened to me.

Yes but I presume that the solicitor has dealt with a hell of a lot more, regardless of if it's happened to you or not, so would be in the best position to give advice on the matter.

Rb

Depends on the crime really.

If I were caught with a load of coke and got arrested, I'd probably tell my folks as even though they'd be angry intially I know they'd support me, and its always good to have the support of family.

If it were for robbing a car I wouldn't say a thing as the only people who do such things are pure scum who don't deserve any help or support.

As I said, depends on the crime. Do whatever feels right.

SarahSassy

Rb wrote: »

If it were for robbing a car I wouldn't say a thing as the only people who do such things are pure scum who don't deserve any help or support.

Rb wrote: »

caught with a load of coke

Interesting viewpoint... Both the same in my eyes...

mikemac

The local paper is going to report this.
Just about every local paper has a "Courts Report"

Ok, don't go around telling people but you won't be able to keep what happened to a select few.

For now, do what your solicitor tells you

Kristopherus

SarahSassy wrote: »

Interesting viewpoint... Both the same in my eyes...

+ 1. If you are a close family, I would advise you to trust them as they would you, and tell them. Why mum and not dad? They are the closest family you will ever have. Problem shared etc.etc.

LegacyUser

mikemac wrote: »

The local paper is going to report this.
Just about every local paper has a "Courts Report"

Ok, don't go around telling people but you won't be able to keep what happened to a select few.

For now, do what your solicitor tells you

Firstly, thanks everybody for your replies.

As regards the papers, my solicitor has told me that he's obviously dealt with quite a few cases where people have had the same worries..and he's managed to stop the case information coming out.

He has said to me that once the case is resolved, it then is in the public domain, but he'll prevent information coming out as best he can.

Also, my mother and sister have said that obviously my solicitor is going to do this for me, as he would with all of his clients.

Zulu

Rb wrote: »

If I were caught with a load of coke and got arrested, I'd probably tell my folks as even though they'd be angry intially I know they'd support me, and its always good to have the support of family.

If it were for robbing a car I wouldn't say a thing as the only people who do such things are pure scum who don't deserve any help or support.

As I said, depends on the crime. Do whatever feels right.

Interesting. So if you're a scumbag drug dealer you'd tell your parents, but if you were a scumbag car thief you wouldn't?

Hummf, I'd have taught that a scumbag drug dealer was more shamfull, but there you go.

OP, your Mother knows, do you expect her to keep this as a secret from her husband for the rest of her days? If so, that's a fairly big ask that has the potential to be detrimental to their relationship. I'd consider this from her point of view for some time before making a decsion. Her relationship with her husband shouldn't be a casuality of your mistake.

Perhaps telling your father and taking responsibilites for your actions might be the best thing to do here.

robby^5

Zulu wrote: »

Interesting. So if you're a scumbag drug dealer you'd tell your parents, but if you were a scumbag car thief you wouldn't?

He said nothing about being a drug dealer, bit of a mad assumption there.

I think he's trying to draw a comparison to the crime being victimless (being arrested for having drugs) and the crime having a victim (robbing someones car).

Someone using coke and someone breaking into a car... I'd be ashamed of either personally but I'd go with breaking into a car as being a truly scumbag crime whereas being nicked for having some coke is just being an idiot and harming no one burt yourself.

But I digress...

poss

gaz wac wrote: »

Why do we need to know what he did ? .OP if your sol thinks you wont be jailed and that you will only get a fine, you dont need to worry. Just keep the arrest to yourself, it dosent effect anyone else. Only problem that I can see, is that you cant get the cash for the fine! good luck

^I'd agree with that.

Your solicitor is the legal professional here, so he knows what the likely outcome is going to be. Of course it's natural to be worried about it, but i wouldn't let it take over your life. You probably won't be summoned for weeks, probably months.

As you're a first time offender, you will probably get a fine and be warned about your future behaviour.

Also, the fact that you're going to counselling is going to be a positive on the day your case arrives.

I agree with what's been said, go with what your solicitor is saying...don't tell anyone. When it's resolved, nobody will be none the wiser.

wee bey

Well you did the right thing by going to solicitor straight away. My brother and cousin got in a nasty fight with two other lads and were arrested. Got summons for assault and d and d about 6 months later. Didn't tell their parents because one parent suffers badly from depression and didn't want to cause any stress. Anyway,went to court and solicitor assured them he'd keep it from papers and that that was the end of it.( probation act and E1000 fine each) It made front page of local paper following week and made them look like scum. Obviously seen by all and sundry! Whatever you do , you have to tell them within a few days of court date if it looks like it'll become public. These court reporters are ruthless.

poss

wee bey wrote: »

Well you did the right thing by going to solicitor straight away. My brother and cousin got in a nasty fight with two other lads and were arrested. Got summons for assault and d and d about 6 months later. Didn't tell their parents because one parent suffers badly from depression and didn't want to cause any stress. Anyway,went to court and solicitor assured them he'd keep it from papers and that that was the end of it.( probation act and E1000 fine each) It made front page of local paper following week and made them look like scum. Obviously seen by all and sundry! Whatever you do , you have to tell them within a few days of court date if it looks like it'll become public. These court reporters are ruthless.

^Obviously the incident that you're describing above is a very serious incident of assault..which includes the probation act, in fact your brother and cousin were probably lucky that they weren't jailed.

If you read the OP's opening post, he's saying he was involved in a 'serious enough incident' which was probably a lesser thing....sure the OP's solicitor would have told him, if his case was as serious as the one you describe above.

LegacyUser

leggo wrote: »

cruiser: For first-time offenders, unless we're talking an extremely serious crime, judges will simply look to see that they are getting rehabilitated in other ways and don't need to serve actual jail time. Which I presume is the reason for the counselling. Good to see that it's helping.

That's very true.

As i say, when i initally contacted my solicitor, he advised me to go to counselling...he was saying that it will be a positive for me when my case comes up. As other people have said, he's the legal professional on this, so he knows the right thing for me to do.

cruiser178

This is just my experience(take what you want from it),been in court 5 or 6 times,nothing too serious more of an embarrassment then anything else.
Went into court on all occasions knowing there was no jail,just fines,bound to the peace kind of thing.Still not wanting people to know my business.Two of the cases were in the paper.The phone call from my mother i just want to forget because she read it in the paper.

LegacyUser

cruiser178 wrote: »

This is just my experience(take what you want from it),been in court 5 or 6 times,nothing too serious more of an embarrassment then anything else.
Went into court on all occasions knowing there was no jail,just fines,bound to the peace kind of thing.Still not wanting people to know my business.Two of the cases were in the paper.The phone call from my mother i just want to forget because she read it in the paper.

Actually, my case is serious enough but embarassing for me personally.

<mod snip: do not post about any legal advice you may have received.)

ZappaFrank

Bet he was caught touching kids, or expossing himself to old dears!

poss

ZappaFrank wrote: »

Bet he was caught touching kids, or expossing himself to old dears!

Somehow, i doubt it.

You'd get more than a fine for that.:rolleyes:

Nevyn

ZappaFrank banned for a week.

As this is pending court matter we can't permit any discussion of the ins and outs of the case.
Any posts which try to do that will carry ban/infractions and this thread will be closed.

hungryhippo

How were/are things with the arresting Garda? Were you abusive or resistive at the time. Have you called to the station and spoken with the garda to apologise, etc. It can count for a lot in court if you get him or her onside and show them you are a decent guy, which you seem to be and that it was out of character and won't happen again. It will make it less interesting if the Garda speaks in your favour. Presume you were drunk when the incident took place and thats why you are doing the counselling sessions? This will stand to you in court also.

I wouldn't tell anybody else at this stage. Whether or not it makes the local paper largely depends what part of the country you are in. 95% of the cases in Dublin District court never make the papers. Court 45 & 46, etc are generally packed most morning sessions and there could be up to be 50 cases or more on in a few hours. Probably won't make the papers (Herald) unless there is something interesting/funny/unusual about the case.
Outside Dublin, there is a stronger possibility as the local rags usually report most minor things, even drunk and disorderly. Your solicitor could probably have a word with the court reporter though, as they more than likely see a lot of each other.

If the incident isn't serious enough to merit more than fine/probation act/poor box contribution, don't cut yourself up over it, but do learn the lesson from it. Buy the papers at the first opportunity in the couple of days after the case so you will know first if it is reported. That way you can decide to tell who you want before they see it if it is in there.

L

LegacyUser

hungryhippo wrote: »

How were/are things with the arresting Garda? Were you abusive or resistive at the time. Have you called to the station and spoken with the garda to apologise, etc. It can count for a lot in court if you get him or her onside and show them you are a decent guy, which you seem to be and that it was out of character and won't happen again. It will make it less interesting if the Garda speaks in your favour. Presume you were drunk when the incident took place and thats why you are doing the counselling sessions? This will stand to you in court also.

I wouldn't tell anybody else at this stage. Whether or not it makes the local paper largely depends what part of the country you are in. 95% of the cases in Dublin District court never make the papers. Court 45 & 46, etc are generally packed most morning sessions and there could be up to be 50 cases or more on in a few hours. Probably won't make the papers (Herald) unless there is something interesting/funny/unusual about the case.
Outside Dublin, there is a stronger possibility as the local rags usually report most minor things, even drunk and disorderly. Your solicitor could probably have a word with the court reporter though, as they more than likely see a lot of each other.

If the incident isn't serious enough to merit more than fine/probation act/poor box contribution, don't cut yourself up over it, but do learn the lesson from it. Buy the papers at the first opportunity in the couple of days after the case so you will know first if it is reported. That way you can decide to tell who you want before they see it if it is in there.

L

I wasn't abusive when i was arrested not at all.

As i've already said, the incident was serious enough but it was embarrasing for me. I was out on the beer the night before and i was still iffy the day of the incident, which is why i'm doing the counselling sessions, yes.

Greenmachine

John4 wrote: »

I wasn't abusive when i was arrested not at all.

As i've already said, the incident was serious enough but it was embarrasing for me. I was out on the beer the night before and i was still iffy the day of the incident, which is why i'm doing the counselling sessions, yes.

Don't see any reason to tell your family friends etc about the case unnessescarily. Very msart of your solicitor to suggest the counselling suggestions, but then that is waht they are paid for. Sounds like there is a good chance your case will be in the paper, butI reckon best worry about that when the time comes. You are prolly worried about what the outcome will be. It may not be as bad as you anticipate and no need to worry the family just yet.

poss

Greenmachine wrote: »

Sounds like there is a good chance your case will be in the paper

Not necessarily, if the case is potentially embarassing or dangerous and could be detremental to the guy personally.. the solicitor will do everything in his power to prevent it coming out. OP's already said his solicitor has done this previously preventing other cases becoming public.

In fact, i'm sure that the judge could even order a media gag.

poss

Overheal wrote: »

Dont say it if you dont want to. theres plenty you don't talk with people about. why should I tell people I've been arrested if its not their problem?

^I agree with that entirely.

Do we honestly think that the majority of people would make it common knowledge that they've been arrested? No way, never.

When you think about it, there's probably friends and family of people who've been arrested for various things, but never breathed a word about it to anyone, at the end of the day it's your private situation.

Your solicitor is 100% correct, keep it to yourself and the family members you trust to keep quiet about it.

Greenmachine

poss wrote: »

Not necessarily, if the case is potentially embarassing or dangerous and could be detremental to the guy personally.. the solicitor will do everything in his power to prevent it coming out. OP's already said his solicitor has done this previously preventing other cases becoming public.

In fact, i'm sure that the judge could even order a media gag.

Op said he was out night before and was a bit iffy in the morning. Not going to make the nationals but would could well be in the local if any of my local papers are anything to go by. Seen far less than drink driving cases in the paper.

board om

John4 wrote: »

Firstly, thanks everybody for your replies.

As regards the papers, my solicitor has told me that he's obviously dealt with quite a few cases where people have had the same worries..and he's managed to stop the case information coming out.

He has said to me that once the case is resolved, it then is in the public domain, but he'll prevent information coming out as best he can.

Also, my mother and sister have said that obviously my solicitor is going to do this for me, as he would with all of his clients.

your solicitor should not be making promises like this as he has absolutley no control what so ever about what the papers print. once you are in court the papers are entitled to print the story. the only time they cant do this is if it is a closed court, like say for an abuse case where the victim cant be named. but any other cases are open season for the media.

mostly if it is a small case they wont bother reporting on it. usually what happens is a reporter might be in court on the day waiting to report on another case, and while they are waiting for that case to be called they will take notes on the other cases before the court. for instance i was up on a serious enough charge a few years back and over a 2 year period i had over 12 court appearances for the same charge. there werent any reporters in the court for most of them but then one day i was up on the same day as the son of a very serious criminal, so there were plenty of reporters there wating for his case to be called. luckily for me the gangsters son was càlled before me and all the reporters left after his case. so i managed to stay out of the papers altogether. on the other hand a friend of mine made the papers after he was caught with 10 Ecstacy tablets. hardly news worthy material but there you go.

anyway, your solicitor has no say over what is printed, and he cant stop the reporters from prinitng it. and if he does approach a reporter and asks them not to print it then you run the risk of the reporter thinking there is something more to the story and that might just get him curious enough to start digging for a story.

Celtic86

Good luck in keeping it secret - not always possible with the local papers etc. I was in the same situation a while back but I told my folks and was glad I did as is did end up in the local paper - no control over that whatever the solicitor might say. Mine was serious enough and I ended up doing some time for it but all behind me now.

Good luck

poss

board om wrote: »

your solicitor should not be making promises like this as he has absolutley no control what so ever about what the papers print. once you are in court the papers are entitled to print the story.

With respect you haven't read what the OP has posted.

He said that his solicitor said that once his case is resolved then it is in the public domain, and then his solicitor will attempt to stop it coming out as best he can. The guy's solicitor isn't making promises.

Solicitors can stop case information coming out (sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't), with respect i think you're being a bit niaive.

Yes, papers are entitled to print it...but every case isn't printed and a solicitor stopping it coming out is one of the reasons why.

matrim

One point is that you should probably check your work contract to see if you have to declare a criminal record. Depending on the sector you work in it could potentially be an issue.

poss

John4 wrote: »

Also, my solicitor has told me that i won't be jailed for the incident, as i'll probably have to pay a fine and recieve a warning/caution. As i'm a first time offender this looks like being the case.

As you've no priors, they won't jail you for the incident, your solicitor is right. As another poster has said, start saving for the fine.

It will be quite a while before you're summoned, so what's the point in worrying about it? It won't do you any good in the long run. In fact i'd be more worried if my solicitor told me that there was a good chance i'd be jailed for it.

board om

poss wrote: »

With respect you haven't read what the OP has posted.

He said that his solicitor said that once his case is resolved then it is in the public domain, and then his solicitor will attempt to stop it coming out as best he can. The guy's solicitor isn't making promises.

Solicitors can stop case information coming out (sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't), with respect i think you're being a bit niaive.

Yes, papers are entitled to print it...but every case isn't printed and a solicitor stopping it coming out is one of the reasons why.

I think it is you who is not reading posts correctly, and being extemely naive. you obviously have not spent much time in the courts, where as I have spent more time than I would like to have. Fair enough I used the word 'promise' which is unfair of me. but regardless the solicitor can not stop the case being printed. they have no control over the media. in some cases they can get a gagging order to stop the media reporting, but this is only in high profile case like abuse cases where the victim cant be named. pretty much everything else is fair game.

the reason every case isnt printed is because if it was then the daily newspaper would be the size of a telephone book. have you any idea how many cases are heard in Irish courts every day? in Court 46 in the Bridewell there is 100+ cases heard evry morning alone. and that is just one court room. if a reporter is there waiting on a particular case he might report on the cases before it rather than just sit there doing nothing. most of the cases arent worth reporting on i.e. Joe Bloggs got drunk and urinated on the street etc. nobody wants to hear that. but some of the case might have an interesteing twist so they will therefore report it. if the person is well known they might have a photographer there as well.

bottom line is the solicior can not dictate what cases are reported on. if this was the case there would be no tabloid papers and no celebrity magazines. it is purely pot luck what gets reported.

LegacyUser

I have it on good authority that they can only stop publicity about cases if it is something sexual or it involves a child.
This is the wrong way around in my opinion.
What did you do?

thebaldsoprano

It really depends what you did.

If it was some drunk and disorderly type thing and you were straight up and didn't act the twat with the arresting Garda there's a good chance you'll be fine, particularly if you're working and/or studying.

LegacyUser

thebaldsoprano wrote: »

It really depends what you did.

If it was some drunk and disorderly type thing and you were straight up and didn't act the twat with the arresting Garda there's a good chance you'll be fine, particularly if you're working and/or studying.

Firstly, thanks everybody for all your replies on my situation.

Well, as i've already said i didn't 'act the twat' with the arresting Garda as i was initially in shock at what had happened.

I can't reveal what i did, but as i've already been told by my counsellor, alcohol was a factor in the incident as i was still iffy the day it happened.

It was such an odd thing for me to do, and it was very much a spur of the moment thing that happened. Basically, it was an incredibly stupid thing to do and just plain daft, and very embarrasing for me personally.

As another poster has said, i know i'll be in court in a few weeks/months time and i'll be going in there knowing that i'm going to be fined and cautioned/warned for the incident. If anything i'm just extremely grateful that i'm not going to be jailed for it, and as it's my first offence.

At the moment i'm in great form, primarily due to my counsellor. Work is going great, getting on very well with the family (those who know and those who don't). And i'm meeting my friends tomorrow night. Life goes on, and i can't be moping about the place or be changing my general behaviour because these people will know that something is up.

The fact that i'm not mentioning it to people, isn't as bad now as it was at first that's for sure.

To those of you who are insisting that my case will be in the paper...the view of myself and the family members who know is that it's hardly going to make the national papers...as for the local paper? i haven't a clue, i'd doubt it personally but who knows?

If it is published locally, and people ask me about it...i'll have to tell them the truth that i was half locked when it happened, deal with it and move on.

poss

PK2008 wrote: »

If you have to go to counselling for your crime Im guessing it was something seriously inappropriate/shameful beyond the standard "driving without insurance stuff"

I don't see what the problem is, in going to counselling after the offence...regardless of what he did?

As the OP has said, his counsellor is looking into the factors of what made him do it, and alcohol is one of those factors.

At the end of the day, his counselling sessions are going to help him when his case eventually comes around, the judge will realise he's dealing with what lead to his offence in the first place.

tomcollins97

John4 wrote: »

Firstly, thanks everybody for all your replies on my situation.

Well, as i've already said i didn't 'act the twat' with the arresting Garda as i was initially in shock at what had happened.

I can't reveal what i did, but as i've already been told by my counsellor, alcohol was a factor in the incident as i was still iffy the day it happened.

In my opinion you get good advice you need to give us more of an idea what the crimes was. Pervious posts have mentioned drug dealing and crimes of a sexula nature which I doubt. Let me give an example:

A work colleague was celebrating exam results when he got drunk and peed on a car in a car park, unfortunatley in view of the Gardai. He was arrested and charged with peeing in public (or whatever the offence is). Long and the short of it was he had to take a day off work, go to court, and pay cash to poor box. He was mortified and only told people in work a long time after the event.

To get some persepective on your situation you need to give an indication of what the arrest was for.

LegacyUser

tomcollins97 wrote: »

In my opinion you get good advice you need to give us more of an idea what the crimes was. Pervious posts have mentioned drug dealing and crimes of a sexula nature which I doubt. Let me give an example:

A work colleague was celebrating exam results when he got drunk and peed on a car in a car park, unfortunatley in view of the Gardai. He was arrested and charged with peeing in public (or whatever the offence is). Long and the short of it was he had to take a day off work, go to court, and pay cash to poor box. He was mortified and only told people in work a long time after the event.

To get some persepective on your situation you need to give an indication of what the arrest was for.

Okay, please realise that this is extremely embarassing for me.

I'll give you an overall indication of what happened: the day before my arrest i was on the beer with friends from 7:30pm until about 3:30am in Dublin city centre.

I went home by taxi with five of my friends, i didn't go directly to where i live but to my brothers house on the southside of the city.

The next morning/afternoon i woke up at roughly lunchtime, i walked out of my brothers house still half drunk, to go home to my own house...didn't have anything to eat or drink.

I decided to go to the local large shopping centre (this was Saturday lunchtime), i went into large retail shop (won't mention the name) as i needed some food in for during the week.

Anyway, i was trying to decide what to buy..which actually made me look like i was loitering about the place. I was at the back of the shop and a particularly good looking girl was in my vicinity...i think security staff thought i was shop lifting but insanely i had my hand in my trousers (my suit jacket was on my shoulder at the time)..so basically i was detained and eventually arrested for a public order offence/ lewd..offensive behaviour.

There you go...seriously embarassing, i admitted it immediately.

Dr Bolouswki

Ahh man - the hangover randies!

My condolences - laugh and move on, and for everyone's sake, I hope you don't make a habit of it!

LegacyUser

John4 wrote: »

Hi all, i managed to get myself arrested two weeks ago for a serious enough incident. The only two people who know about it are my sister and mum.

My father, all of my friends and all of my work colleagues, don't know about what happened as i have had to keep the whole thing quiet. I contacted a solicitor the day after my arrest, and he advised me not to tell these people about what happened.

My solicitor also advised me to go for counselling which i'm doing for six sessions, (i've done two sessions already)...and this has helped matters. Also, my solicitor has told me that i won't be jailed for the incident, as i'll probably have to pay a fine and recieve a warning/caution. As i'm a first time offender this looks like being the case.

I'm currently waiting to be summoned, which could take a while, and i'll have to take a day off work for it obviously.

I was talking to my Dad on the phone today which was tough, and i'm getting through the working week which is tough also as i can't tell anyone.

As i've said, the counselling is helping...and my counsellor wiil vouch for me when my case comes up.

Do you think i'm worrying too much about everything? How would you react in my position?

I feel from your email that you have grasped the seriousness of your situation and I
am sincerely glad that you are seeking help for what brought you to have this incident in the first place. You are lucky you have a supportive family and take heart in this. The
situation happened, you wish you could reverse it but have to accept you cannot.
Once you learn something from the situation, continue your counselling and receive
support from your family, put aside your worry, restart your life again and I hope
you will never need to look back on this situation. What happened is your
business which you do not have to divulge to anyone accept those who love you
and those whom you can trust.

LegacyUser

Dr Bolouswki wrote: »

Ahh man - the hangover randies!

My condolences - laugh and move on, and for everyone's sake, I hope you don't make a habit of it!

Don't worry i don't plan to!!..i'm laughing about it myself now.

You're right, it probably was a case of the hangover randies...as i say it was very much a spur of the moment thing to do, and it was plain stupid as i was obviously on cctv in the shop!..when the security staff asked me to explain to them what i was doing before the Gardai arrived to shop...i really had no choice to admit there was some masturbating going on, as everything was on camera. As i had my suit jacket on, over my arm nobody around knew.

My counsellor has explained to me that alcohol is a depressant, and leaving the house without eating or drinking obviously didn't help matters at all.

As i say, when i rang my solicitor to explain i was arrested for lewd behaviour, they told me it was a serious enough matter and they advised me to do the counselling. As i say, i'm getting reasons why the incident happened from the counsellor...which is helping, and my recent drinking has been a bit out of control.

Also, my solicitor knew it was a serious matter, but i was going to eventually get fined and warned about it when my case comes up...

...you all can probably understand the reasons why i can't let some family and friends know about this one!?!

poss

John4 wrote: »

Okay, please realise that this is extremely embarassing for me.

I'll give you an overall indication of what happened: the day before my arrest i was on the beer with friends from 7:30pm until about 3:30am in Dublin city centre.

I went home by taxi with five of my friends, i didn't go directly to where i live but to my brothers house on the southside of the city.

The next morning/afternoon i woke up at roughly lunchtime, i walked out of my brothers house still half drunk, to go home to my own house...didn't have anything to eat or drink.

I decided to go to the local large shopping centre (this was Saturday lunchtime), i went into large retail shop (won't mention the name) as i needed some food in for during the week.

Anyway, i was trying to decide what to buy..which actually made me look like i was loitering about the place. I was at the back of the shop and a particularly good looking girl was in my vicinity...i think security staff thought i was shop lifting but insanely i had my hand in my trousers (my suit jacket was on my shoulder at the time)..so basically i was detained and eventually arrested for a public order offence/ lewd..offensive behaviour.

There you go...seriously embarassing, i admitted it immediately.

Yep, it's a serious enough matter...but looks more like a seriously daft thing to do also.

In all honesty, this does look like they'll fine you for it...and remind you not to let it happen again. It's more of an embarassing incident than anything else.

Also, i see this along the lines of peeing in the street, etc (basically people doing stupid and embarassing things)..don't see the news-worthyness of this also, as nothing was stolen/nothing violent happened etc...so i can't see this being printed.

suspectpackage

poss wrote: »

It's more of an embarassing incident than anything else.

Also, i see this along the lines of peeing in the street, etc (basically people doing stupid and embarassing things)..don't see the news-worthyness of this also, as nothing was stolen/nothing violent happened etc...so i can't see this being printed.

Eh, I know you're trying to make the OP feel better but come on.

He was masturbating in broad daylight in a shop while looking at a girl.

If thats not newsworthy, I don't know what is.

It's a far cry from peeing on the street because it's a sexual act. I've been very very drunk and done some embarrassing things, but never heard of anyone masturbating in broad daylight looking at a girl.

Obviously it was down to drink but I'd consider never ever drinking again OP. I would prepare for this to be printed too OP.

poss

suspectpackage wrote: »

Eh, I know you're trying to make the OP feel better but come on.

He was masturbating in broad daylight in a shop while looking at a girl.

If thats not newsworthy, I don't know what is.

It's a far cry from peeing on the street because it's a sexual act. I've been very very drunk and done some embarrassing things, but never heard of anyone masturbating in broad daylight looking at a girl.

Obviously it was down to drink but I'd consider never ever drinking again OP. I would prepare for this to be printed too OP.

Hey, you're entitled to your opinion.
..but just a personal viewpoint, it would be detremental to the OP for this to printed, as his name/address would be made available.

Could be very dodgy, just my opinion...but i'd doubt this would be printed.

LeotheLion

WTF???
This is weird,I'd say it will be on the 6 oclock news video footage of the incident and a closeup of the accused leaving the court,drink could not be an excuse for this,maybe if John had consumed some crystal meth,,and what age was this girl?(not woman?)late teens?