The joke isn't funny anymore??

LegacyUser

Hope people can advice me on this one. This issue was pointed out again to me the other night by a guy that I got chatting to. This has come up a few times with guys in the past and I'm starting to wonder is it really a problem or if it's more their problem.

Without blowing my own trumpet here...I'd consider myself to be a funny girl and nearly everyone who meets me would consider me to be the same (although there's nothing funny about this post...sorry ). Some lads might think we're few and far between but I'm one of them. There ye go. It's always been this way...I was the joker at school, joker at college, joker wherever I've worked and lived, I'm the joker among my friends...I can easily get anyone laughing within a few minutes. I don't think I've too many talents, I've virtually none but I can make people laugh, that's all I know and I'll make no bones about it.

But the problem is I think I might scare lads away. I'm generally only interested in funny lads who can make me laugh and this guy I was talking to the other night fitted the bill. We were laughing away and I thought things were going great...laughter being a natural aphrodisiac and all that but he asked me all of a sudden if I ever stop with the jokes and is it all an act? Could I not just be myself?? We weren't on a date...it was early morning at a house party, we'd met at the party and I thought it was the time and place for this kind of carry on but obviously not.

This wasn't the first time someone asked me this. My ex of 2 years had massive problems with my sense of humour initially and told me at the start of our relationship that perhaps I was "too witty" for him and he couldn't keep up. He actually got sulky with me over this. The first fight we ever had was over this issue...he told me I was "too much" sometimes and he couldn't keep up with witty responses. I felt terrible. My logic behind it was if this is what attracted him to me in the first place (I was dressed up in some ridiculous chicken costume when he met me outside a pub...har har har), then maybe I should keep it up. That's what he liked most about me. I know I had him in tears the first night I met him and visa versa...I thought this was appealing to him and not a turn-off. I think I was wrong.

Girls usually have "sense of humour" as something they're attracted to in a guy over looks but it doesn't seem to be the case with guys in my experience. Are lads intimidated by funny girls?? I pride myself in my ability to make people laugh and to tone it down would be to tone down a massive part of my personality. Why should I do that? This is what guys seem to want. The humour is not an act although if I'm regaling a story, I'd act and embellish the story a little bit putting on different voices, flailing my arms about but it's still part of who I am. As I said, I've been this way since I was little girl and that a long time to be "acting".

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a walking talking clown, that would indeed be a head-wreak...I can be as serious as the next chick and I am most of the time but when I'm out, I have a laugh, I make people laugh...I make men who chat me up or who I'm chatting up....laugh! I'm being myself but some lads think it's an act or else they're accuse me of putting on an act because perhaps they're intimidated and it's their job to make ME laugh...or something. I'm a good-looking girl (I'm a right old big head tonight eh? Sorry..) and it's as if lads don't expect it from me. I've heard the compliment "You're good-looking AND your funny...usually it's one or the other with girls"...what does this mean? Why can't I be both?

I don't know. What do you lot think?? Can someone explain the psychology behind this? Am I scaring men away??

LegacyUser

24 year old guy here - Whether or not some guys find you intimidating is not the issue here, its rather about you finding someone who likes you for you. You won't be able to change yur personality, and the right person will come along eventually who will appreciate your humour. Until then, keep laughing!

LegacyUser

Wow, I have exactly the same problem!! What I've come up with is, these guys are kind of insecure and feel the need to vent that. I do think it can come as a surprise to some guys if a girl is quick and witty.
F*ck it. It's their problem. I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there that would be more than happy to go out with a smart, funny girl... hopefully!

K_P

Without knowing you, it's hard to say who has the problem here but if a few people have told you you need to tone the joking down a bit, then maybe there's something to it. You seem to very much identify yourself as the class clown, the joker and as a result you maybe think about it too much and you're striving to be that way. So while it might feel natural to you to others it could easily look likey you're putting on an act.

irish_goat

Being honest, girls who are always making jokes and (harsh as it sounds)generating craic turn me off. That's simply because I am kind of shy but really enjoy making girls laugh. If I'm out with a male friend who is constantly making jokes I'll tend to be quieter as well so suppose it's the same as with a girl. Just feels weird. But that's me, I know plenty of girls who are jokers and they get on fine romantically, just not with me.

Nevyn

There are guys who get intimidated when they meet a woman who's funny and witty.
Esp when they expect us to sit, be quiet and demure to what ever they hae to say and let them shine and tbh fúck that. Why dumb yourself down, if they can't handle it then they are not good enough for you.

herya

Maybe you're playing on this one note too much. It might be tiring to be with somebody who is so strongly defined in terms of the mood they prefer. Variety is attractive.

Broad

Thaedydal wrote: »

Why dumb yourself down, if they can't handle it then they are not good enough for you.

Absolutely right. Don't try to make yourself less of what you are - the less "dumb" guys will be able for and enjoy your wit and humour. You should not expect anything less.

anonymous_joe

Most girls that I've met have been extraordinarily unfunny.

Which is deliberate in part. Girls aren't expected to make jokes. It's the man's job to make the fragile little girl laugh.

Quite a few of my friend's would be very threatened by a woman who could tell jokes, because in a way they feel it's their job. They also tend to think they're funnier than they are.

The only advice I'd offer is this: if your personality is threatening some men, why would you want to be with them? I've never been happy with someone who didn't like me for me, it's easy to be with someone by being what you think they'll like, but what's the point? If a guy's threatened by your sense of humour, assume he's not comfortable with a woman whose his equal or better than him at something. Or that he's just not into jokes. Someone like that's clearly not for you...

LegacyUser

are you sure you're actually funny? some people think they're funny but are actually just snipey and sarcastic... which is often funny at first but wears very, very thin... very very quickly.

If you're certain that you're actually a funny person and not an overbearing sarc-monster, maybe try mixing it up a little, as the poster above said. Being funny ALL THE TIME is not necessarily a good thing. If somebody is constantly cracking jokes and taking the piss it makes it difficult to get to know them on any meaningful level.

MizzLolly

You're experiences aren't all that strange at all OP. I honestly do agree that some men are intimidated by a woman who can make people laugh. I reckon it's a fear of being 'upstaged' in a way, as if the gender roles are being reversed and you're the one making the guy giggle like a schoolgirl.

In my experience, men certainly do act differently to humourous women. Often, they feel intimidated and limit their interactions with the girl, though sometimes a woman's sense of humour can be seen as a sign of being 'too' approachable and too sociable. I'm having some bother myself at the moment with a guy in work who just constantly cracks onto me and no matter how often I say 'no' or tell him to back off, he makes light of it and thinks he can get away with it because I'm generally quite easy-going. Women and humour can be tricky but as one poster said above, it says more about the guy expecting you to lay down and be quite and allow him to take centre stage.

Enjoy your sense of humour and don't let any of the dull folk make you feel like there's anything wrong with it! (it's a lack of personality in the guy, if you ask me!)

bigeasyeah

I dont think it has anything to do with fellas being intimidated.
When someone is all chat and jokes it becomes too much after awhile.

LegacyUser

Hi OP! There's times I have often felt in your position.

Personally, I have found the advantages of being proud of my sense of humour to far outweight the disadvantages. For a start, my male friends treat me as more of an equal than some of those 'quiet, demure girls' and I think I have a much better platonic relationship with them as a result. However, many of them were quite wary of me when they first met me, but I think that by sticking to your guns and being yourself, you will gain the respect of both potential friends and boyfriends.

I am in a relationship with a guy who really appreciates my wit (I sound really big-headed now, sorry!), which is something that hasn't happened to me before. I think he is one of the wittiest people I have ever met, but we are not in competition with each other.

I use humour to ease uncomfortable situations, such as meeting someone new, and I couldn't change this if I tried - Tbh, I don't see the point. And I don't see in the point in changing yourself either. It would make you miserable!

I suppose what I'm trying to stay is just be yourself (Such a cliché, I'm sorry!), you don't want someone who will stunt a very inherent part of you - your sense of humour.

People are attracted to confidence and it's obvious that you have that in spades - I wish you the very best of luck Apologies if I rambled a bit!

Zambia

The Clown wrote: »

But the problem is I think I might scare lads away. I'm generally only interested in funny lads who can make me laugh and this guy I was talking to the other night fitted the bill. We were laughing away and I thought things were going great...laughter being a natural aphrodisiac and all that but he asked me all of a sudden if I ever stop with the jokes and is it all an act? Could I not just be myself?? We weren't on a date...it was early morning at a house party, we'd met at the party and I thought it was the time and place for this kind of carry on but obviously not.

Thats a stupid thing to say to someone on the first night..

After a comment like that,even I have a better chance of going out with you and I am married and live in Australia, and not that pretty either...:o

keefg

Hmmm...tricky one, and something that can work both ways. most self-proclaimed funny/mad/crazy/zany/whacky people, regardless of sex, are very irritating.

Take for example Davina McCall - Very attractive (looking) and is considered funny/mad/crazy/zany/whacky by a lot of people (mostly women from my experience). But I doubt I could spend more than five mins in her company before wanting to get away from her because she drives me mad.

Then on the other end of the scale you have someone like Kathy Burke whom generally would not be considered as attractive in the looks dept as Davina but who is a very funny woman and someone I would much rather spend some time with.

LegacyUser

It's pretty difficult to know what these guys are thinking from what you told us in your opening post alone, but as many have alluded to some personality types just don't work with some people. Maybe some guys do feel intimidated by it, maybe some do find it a turn off, but at the end of the day (to use a cliche), the majority of guys you meet won't have a personality that fits yours right.

I've actually been the guy on the other side in a similar situation to yours, although the details probably don't match up that exactly. In my case, I was with a girl I had a great laugh with, but she had problems coming out of that jokey state of mind, and into a more personal one. Maybe some guys can deal with that fine, but I found it a bit tough. You said you have no problems being serious when needed, so it's probably not the same kind of deal at all! I do sort of feel though, that a variety of emotions can be good at any stage of a relationship - be it the first couple of hours of meeting, or after 30 years of marriage. Laughter is great, as is romance, as is deep serious talking, as are moments of quiet peace - but none of them are really enough on their own. Connecting on a variety of levels can be key!


At the same time, I could be talking rubbish

RossFixxxed

Thaedydal wrote: »

There are guys who get intimidated when they meet a woman who's funny and witty.
Esp when they expect us to sit, be quiet and demure to what ever they hae to say and let them shine and tbh fúck that. Why dumb yourself down, if they can't handle it then they are not good enough for you.

Woah, woah steady. Next thing you'll be saying women should drive and vote! What a crazy idea.

Seriously there are guys like that, that get frightened/intimidated by women that are smart, witty, funny, independent, able to think for themselves. And those are the guys to stay about 100000 miles away from. It scares me that these losers even get women.

However, if you were just joking all night, he may not know what to take seriously or not. There is a line between having a great laugh and just being a clown. Anyone's interest may wane after trying for two hours and getting nothing but jokes and no serious conversation. I've know people who were very funny in work, but crossed that line into clown!

R

LegacyUser

I only go out with funny girls, girls who make me laugh and who I can be in stitches with. I haven't found one in ages. They have to be able to see the funny side of life and tell stories - and also listen to funny stories.

It's not that the girl has to be funny all the time but has the ability to make me laugh.

Same with friends - I generally only hang around with people who are witty/funny........

I can't actually hang out with humourless people - I've actually stopped hanging out with two guys (friends of friends) because they were never funny. I always had a problem communicating with them. In fact, it wasn't just as they weren;t funny; they never could tell a story or relate an experience..... so it was conversation was a struggle.

Anyway, girls, if you're funny (genuinely) then flaunt it.

pookie82

Wit and the ability to be extremely funny all the time (if it's a natural one and not forced or contrived) is usually a sign of intelligence. Most of the funniest people I know are extremely intelligent and astute. men tend to be funnier than women because there's a competition element to it - we don't "need" to be funny because we don't compete like they do.

I wouldn't worry about your wit being too much for a guy UNLESS you find it difficult to ever snap out of joke mode and use humour as a means of avoiding serious issues or emotions. Most famous example that springs to mind is Chandler in Friends - the joker who uses humour to cover up his discomfort with serious issues. It can be very aggravating for your OH if you use humour as some sort of unremitting shield.

Having said that, sounds like some guys may just be intimidated by not being as funny as you. If so, that's their problem, and I'd steer clear of them. No different to them being intimidated by you being better at guitar/sport/driving than them. It's an ego thing, and no reason to dumb down your humour for.

My OH has frequently told me I'm really funny "for a girl" and "the funniest girl he's ever met" but he has no problem with that. In fact I'm sure he likes it. then again he's still funnier than me so there's no sense of competition!

jellie

do you know when to stop?
Even people who are hilarious sometimes need to give it a rest. theres a time and place for everything.

If thats not an issue then try not to let his comments bother you.

LegacyUser

irish_goat wrote: »

Being honest, girls who are always making jokes and (harsh as it sounds)generating craic turn me off. That's simply because I am kind of shy but really enjoy making girls laugh. If I'm out with a male friend who is constantly making jokes I'll tend to be quieter as well so suppose it's the same as with a girl. Just feels weird. But that's me, I know plenty of girls who are jokers and they get on fine romantically, just not with me.

And thanks for being honest Irish Goat. Thanks to everyone else who responded as well. My sense of humour is definitely not of the cutting, scathing, sarcastic variety...I can be shy myself at the best of times...I'm not one of these loud, shouty women who think they're hilarious because the sheer amplification of what they're saying. I'm just funny and I know this because I make people laugh and always have. It's all subjective of course but I'd say generally I can get a laugh or two out of most people. I can act the gob-sh*te with the best of them and perhaps not a lot of men expect that from me, particularly because of how I look (I'm no stunner but I'm no Kathy Burke either...I'd be a good-looking girl, let us say). I'd come from the school of Adam and Joe, George Doors, Blackadder, Vick and Bob...ridiculous, stupid, silly humour...you know the kind.

I've always made people laugh...that's how I was brought up...I come from a big family with a lot of hilarious brothers and perhaps they bred it into me. Some of you might take that as me growing up with the chuckle brothers but you're just going to have to take my word that they're funny, funny men. When I was in college, I found that a lot of the women who were funny took a back seat when the men were in funny mode but I didn't, I'd join in and because of this, I've a lot of very funny male friends...but nothing ever happened romantically with these guys. The women they DID choose to go out with were happy enough to take a back seat to these guys. That's cool but a little bit disappointing.

I've no aspirations to be on stage or any of that shenanigans...I'll leave that to the funnier people...I'm happy enough to make friends and family laugh and visa versa.

One poster could empathise and told me she always felt at an advantage because she felt equal to men on the humour front....I'd feel the same. I never feel intimidated by a funny man....I LOVE it, in fact. Humour for me is a two way thing and I expect to get as good as I give. Where's the fun in just sitting and waiting to be entertained??? This was the case with the guy I was chatting to the other night...we were having a great time, laughs galore...the "craic", if you will...but he just went cold on me all of a sudden and blurted out this comment I mentioned in my original post and I was shocked and disappointed. A few drinks were had so I'll take it with a pinch of salt.

I was being funny because he was being funny...I was going with the flow of the conversation and if he came on all serious, I would've done the same.

I've chilled out a lot in my old age (approaching 30) and I'm not the all singing, all dancing, jazz hands clown I might have been back in the day. I admit that might have been the case but not any more. Life has knocked that out of me to some extent and I'm more secure in my self that I know there's a bit more to me than that. I can be on serious mode with the best of them and I'm also friendly and kind to boot.

I'm looking for a "gas" man but they don't seem to be looking for a "gas" girl from what I've encountered. I don't get this personally but I won't give up!

Thanks lads and apologies for the long response....I'd be interested in hearing more opinons please!! All very interesting...thought it was just me.

LegacyUser

beenthere wrote: »

I only go out with funny girls, girls who make me laugh and who I can be in stitches with. I haven't found one in ages. They have to be able to see the funny side of life and tell stories - and also listen to funny stories.

It's not that the girl has to be funny all the time but has the ability to make me laugh.

Same with friends - I generally only hang around with people who are witty/funny........

I can't actually hang out with humourless people - I've actually stopped hanging out with two guys (friends of friends) because they were never funny. I always had a problem communicating with them. In fact, it wasn't just as they weren;t funny; they never could tell a story or relate an experience..... so it was conversation was a struggle.

Anyway, girls, if you're funny (genuinely) then flaunt it.

I'd be the same...I've little time for humourless people...all my friends are funny and I suppose I'm spoilt in that sense. This hasn't been the case with boyfriends though...thanks for this comment though.

RossFixxxed

I think there is a balance between light hearted, funny and serious. You can be serious, trust worthy and good to talk to and still funny! It's the danger of being a total flake I think.

Faith

The thing I'd wonder is, and I believe pookie82 mentioned it above, do you avoid discussing things in a serious manner? If someone asks you a serious question, for which they want a serious answer, would you regularly make a joke out of it? Or do you avoid talking about your feelings by making jokes out of them?

LegacyUser

Actually, I'm in a club where there are quite a few singles women around.

I've hooked up with a few of them but the one I would like to go out with is the only one with a sense of humour similar to mine. Will ask her out soon.

Nothing worse than going out with someone who doesn't laugh at your jokes. I was once told by a gf of mine : "that story is really boring - it's not funny". It was like a punch in the gut. When we arrived at the pub, we sat there with two of her friends. I started chatting to them and we had a great laugh together. My gf was sitting stony-faced. It was then I realised that it wsa never going to work out.

Try internet dating! Seriously. If someone can't be humourful with all the time in the world to write a witty email (including time to edit, re-writes etc) then you know that it won't work out in person. It worked for me (well, until I was dumped).

LegacyUser

Faith wrote: »

The thing I'd wonder is, and I believe pookie82 mentioned it above, do you avoid discussing things in a serious manner? If someone asks you a serious question, for which they want a serious answer, would you regularly make a joke out of it? Or do you avoid talking about your feelings by making jokes out of them?

Perhaps this might have been the case a few years ago because I'd feel uncomfortable talking about my OWN feelings and I'd make light of it. But no, I am a serious enough person now...I've grown up...but yeah, perhaps I'm not serious enough. I don't know. I'd be the friend my friends would confide in. I've been through a fair amount of crap in my life and I can empathise with a lot of people's circumstances.

Maybe the humour was a way with dealing with all the crap thrown at me and I think that's how things were dealt with in my family...by cracking a joke about it! I look back and it might come across as bad taste for someone looking in from the outside but really, a lot of the stuff we had to deal with as kids in my family was out of our hands...it was too big a problem to find a solution to as we were only young so we'd laugh about it instead. That's how I cope with stuff.

Maybe you've hit on something there...I was seeing a guy a few years ago said something similar to me as the other guy said the other night...after I broke up with him (I was moving country) he told me he'd be afraid I'd never let my guard down and let someone get close enough to me to fall for me properly. It struck a nerve, I'll be honest. This was a few years ago though and I think I've mellowed out a lot now...even toned down (not conciously) the humour. Maybe the humour thing WAS a barrier....jaysus....epiphany...

LegacyUser

Male here. Going out with a girl that I consider to be a lot funnier than me, smarter than me etc and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I love it. Has me in stitches quite a bit. Sometimes I find myself laughing away on my own because of something she said/did days ago. Wouldn't want it any other way to be honest.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Male here. Going out with a girl that I consider to be a lot funnier than me, smarter than me etc and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I love it. Has me in stitches quite a bit. Sometimes I find myself laughing away on my own because of something she said/did days ago. Wouldn't want it any other way to be honest.

That's very sweet, unregistered. Delighted you found someone you can have the craic with and nice to hear of other women not being afraid to be funny.

Out of curiosity, can she tone it down and get serious as well? Can she talk about her feelings without making a joke out of them? Does she know when to tow the line and keep the balance??

Faith

The clown wrote: »

Maybe you've hit on something there...I was seeing a guy a few years ago said something similar to me as the other guy said the other night...after I broke up with him (I was moving country) he told me he'd be afraid I'd never let my guard down and let someone get close enough to me to fall for me properly. It struck a nerve, I'll be honest. This was a few years ago though and I think I've mellowed out a lot now...even toned down (not conciously) the humour. Maybe the humour thing WAS a barrier....jaysus....epiphany...

Humour is a very common defence mechanism. You don't necessarily need to tone down the humour, you just need to become more aware of when you're using it instead of dealing with the issue at hand, and work on that. If you always make light of the hard things you've gone through in life, I wouldn't be surprised if you partners felt like you weren't letting them get close enough to know how you really felt, and to see you being vulnerable.

Lollipops23

OP you sound deadly. seriously,im a girl and even i reckon that there aren't enough witty chicks out there. your ex sounds like he was too insecure to be with a girl who was more witty and confident than him, and your best off out of it.

forget the lads who can't deal with you. screw them. any guy who wants you to change your personality is a dumbass.

LegacyUser

The Clown wrote: »

That's very sweet, unregistered. Delighted you found someone you can have the craic with and nice to hear of other women not being afraid to be funny.

Out of curiosity, can she tone it down and get serious as well? Can she talk about her feelings without making a joke out of them? Does she know when to tow the line and keep the balance??

Yep, she can tone it down sometimes which is all good too. I can't remember her making too many jokes when talking about her feelings - this is usually when I step in with a funny comment to lighten up the mood a little! And the balance is perfect in my opinion, most of the day she smiles which makes me smile

badolepuddytat

sar84 wrote: »

do you know when to stop?
Even people who are hilarious sometimes need to give it a rest. theres a time and place for everything.

If thats not an issue then try not to let his comments bother you.

+1 Some people think they're hilarious and carry on in whatever persona (blackadder/father ted/gift grub) until it gets painful to be around and people (especially people who just want to chill out) get fed up of said hilarity. Sorry!

I'd also say that you're setting yourself up for a fall by deciding exactly what/who you want - the gas man. Some people can't come out of themselves and show their funny side if they feel they're being 'upstaged' and can't make an occasional joke because it turns into a comedic verbal sparring match. You're effectively writing off a lot of potential partners because you're chasing after the guys whose confidence revolves around being the craic generator who are probably used to having the spotlight.

I'm not suggesting that you should be the deferrent little woman but just have a little bit of awareness and sensitivity to see if your jokes are appropriate to the conversation/group vibe going on, if it's been said a few times I'd be surprised if you weren't going over the top on occasion. I think that people are drawn towards people they can relax around and if you're hard work it can be off-putting. This is all my opinion, I don't mean to be harsh at all.

LegacyUser

Faith wrote: »

Humour is a very common defence mechanism. You don't necessarily need to tone down the humour, you just need to become more aware of when you're using it instead of dealing with the issue at hand, and work on that. If you always make light of the hard things you've gone through in life, I wouldn't be surprised if you partners felt like you weren't letting them get close enough to know how you really felt, and to see you being vulnerable.

Wow. I think you might have hit the nail on the head there, Faith! Didn't think I'd come in here with this issue and actually leave with a diagnosis...thanks a million. When I think back, I've always, always, ALWAYS used to humour to cover up my vulnerability. I don't like anyone to see me being vulnerable so I make a joke about it and pretend I don't care. It's really bloody obvious isn't it?? How do I deal with this??

LegacyUser

badolepuddytat wrote: »

+1 Some people think they're hilarious and carry on in whatever persona (blackadder/father ted/gift grub) until it gets painful to be around and people (especially people who just want to chill out) get fed up of said hilarity. Sorry!

I'd also say that you're setting yourself up for a fall by deciding exactly what/who you want - the gas man. Some people can't come out of themselves and show their funny side if they feel they're being 'upstaged' and can't make an occasional joke because it turns into a comedic verbal sparring match. You're effectively writing off a lot of potential partners because you're chasing after the guys whose confidence revolves around being the craic generator who are probably used to having the spotlight.

I'm not suggesting that you should be the deferrent little woman but just have a little bit of awareness and sensitivity to see if your jokes are appropriate to the conversation/group vibe going on, if it's been said a few times I'd be surprised if you weren't going over the top on occasion. I think that people are drawn towards people they can relax around and if you're hard work it can be off-putting. This is all my opinion, I don't mean to be harsh at all.

Just to add...I didn't mention Father Ted, Gift-Grub or any other type of Irish Paddy-whackery...I despise that crap. You couldn't put Blackadder in the same category as Kilnaskully or whatever that heap of sh*te is called. Sorry, quite definsive over WHAT my specific type of humour would be. If anyone carried on like any of these characters, I'd gouge their eyes out myself, believe you me.

As I said, the humour itself is not the problem, it's never offensive and it usually get a good reaction...I'm talking about my humour in the context of a romantic scenario.

cowzerp

Thaedydal wrote: »

Why dumb yourself down,

I think the reason why people are turned off her is because she is dumbing herself down, she sounds like someone who tries to hard to be a label, in this case funny.

This can become overbearing and boring very quick.

LegacyUser

Just for the record, there's absolutely nothing wrong with Father Ted type humour!

LegacyUser

badolepuddytat wrote: »

+1 Some people think they're hilarious and carry on in whatever persona (blackadder/father ted/gift grub) until it gets painful to be around and people (especially people who just want to chill out) get fed up of said hilarity. Sorry!

I'd also say that you're setting yourself up for a fall by deciding exactly what/who you want - the gas man. Some people can't come out of themselves and show their funny side if they feel they're being 'upstaged' and can't make an occasional joke because it turns into a comedic verbal sparring match. You're effectively writing off a lot of potential partners because you're chasing after the guys whose confidence revolves around being the craic generator who are probably used to having the spotlight.

I'm not suggesting that you should be the deferrent little woman but just have a little bit of awareness and sensitivity to see if your jokes are appropriate to the conversation/group vibe going on, if it's been said a few times I'd be surprised if you weren't going over the top on occasion. I think that people are drawn towards people they can relax around and if you're hard work it can be off-putting. This is all my opinion, I don't mean to be harsh at all.

Sorry, just reiterate, this is not a general problem. I don't think anyone has a problem with how I am. I'd say I'm liked generally, I've no problem making friends...have plenty of them and I wouldn't consider myself to be a lot of things but I would say I'm the craic. I know the types that think they're absolutely hilarious and the self-proclamation by myself about how funny I am is only done under the guise of an anonymous post...I'd never admit to that in the real world...I'm not the "Oh I'm absolutely GAS beyond belief and everyone thinks I'm hi-feckin-alarious" in real life type of human...but I'll admit it here JUST for the sake of getting some feedback. I'd say most people who are funny know it. Would you agree?

This has to do with how I'm perceived by some men I'm interested in or who were intitally interested in me, had a laugh with me but suddenly don't like it or don't know how to deal with it. I think Faith might have got nearer to the truth, though.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Just for the record, there's absolutely nothing wrong with Father Ted type humour!

...but someone who impersonates Father Ted and friends can be a bit of a headwreak. THIS is old.

LegacyUser

cowzerp wrote: »

I think the reason why people are turned off her is because she is dumbing herself down, she sounds like someone who tries to hard to be a label, in this case funny.

This can become overbearing and boring very quick.

No, I don't try to be anything. You can't jump to those types of presumptions about me. This is part of who I am. You just going to have to take my word for it instead of jumping to conclusions about me. That isn't fair. I'm sure you'd label yourself plenty of things if you were to be honest with yourself but that doesn't necessarily mean it's all contrived.

LegacyUser

cowzerp wrote: »

I think the reason why people are turned off her is because she is dumbing herself down, she sounds like someone who tries to hard to be a label, in this case funny.

This can become overbearing and boring very quick.

Sorry, for a moderator, I think this post is highly judgemental and based on nothing I said. Please read back on my posts and then reply. And when did I say "people" are turned off by me??? I said a few funny men I've come across in my life that I've been attracted to or have gone out with, couldn't handle the humour. This probably amount to about 3 guys in my lifetime. Unfortunately 3 hilarious guys who I liked.

I hate this type of attitude.

Nevyn

cowzerp is not a moderator on this forum and cowzerp posts are the same as any other posters, if you have an issue with them report them.

metamorphosis

bigeasyeah wrote: »

I dont think it has anything to do with fellas being intimidated.
When someone is all chat and jokes it becomes too much after awhile.

For me i love someone to be witty and funny as it makes me come out of me shell and makes me witty and funny. Anyone who makes me laugh has me!

There is a point though - all jokes all the time is not fun and sometimes those who think they are the shizzle with jokes can come out smart arsed without even realising it. Happens to all of us at one time or another.

Not to say that this actually applies to you OP

LegacyUser

Thaedydal wrote: »

cowzerp is not a moderator on this forum and cowzerp posts are the same as any other posters, if you have an issue with them report them.

Sorry, I apologise.

cowzerp

The Clown wrote: »

Sorry, for a moderator, I think this post is highly judgemental and based on nothing I said. Please read back on my posts and then reply. And when did I say "people" are turned off by me??? I said a few funny men I've come across in my life that I've been attracted to or have gone out with, couldn't handle the humour. This probably amount to about 3 guys in my lifetime. Unfortunately 3 hilarious guys who I liked.

I hate this type of attitude.

I said you sounded like someone who tries to be funny, and thats how i have percieved your posts, as said im not a mod on here and just a regular poster, if your so funny and have only had a few minor problems its hardly a worthy personal issue anyway, i wish i could say im too funny!

my brother is considered very funny and he generally is but after a few mins a mute button would come in handy, its nothing to do with you been female-people just get bored of people who think there funny trying to be the center of the universe all the time, maybe use some of that light heartedness to not get so offended over internet chat.

LegacyUser

The Clown wrote: »

..... 3 hilarious guys who I liked.

its the guys who were using humor as a defense mechanism. they were the ones who wanted to open up, you were meant to spring clean their dark dark souls.

LegacyUser

cowzerp wrote: »

I said you sounded like someone who tries to be funny, and thats how i have percieved your posts, as said im not a mod on here and just a regular poster, if your so funny and have only had a few minor problems its hardly a worthy personal issue anyway, i wish i could say im too funny!

my brother is considered very funny and he generally is but after a few mins a mute button would come in handy, its nothing to do with you been female-people just get bored of people who think there funny trying to be the center of the universe all the time, maybe use some of that light heartedness to not get so offended over internet chat.

Grand. I apologised. You're incorrect in your presumption but you're entitled to them and you've only my posts to go on. I get pretty bored of people thinking they're the centre of the universe as well. I don't have this problem so no worries on that front. Light-heartedness doesn't necessarily equate to humour, btw...Bill Hicks could fill you in on that one. The issue for me is perhaps what Faith identified...putting the wall of humour up instead of showing a bit of vulnerability.

Oh The Humanity

I think as well some lads don't know how to take it. They are used to being the funny one and assume females are their 'audience' so from a dating/romantic point of view as you are not the 'norm' they discount you as you are different.

People can be competitive too, dont forget that. If you are the type of person who can get people laughing with spontaneous quips that might pi$$ off the types who've been sitting at home 'working on their material'

Dont worry about it. There are some lads who dont like 'tomboyish' traits and others who do. I cant be doing with the former anyway.

Eve_Dublin

cowzerp wrote: »

I think the reason why people are turned off her is because she is dumbing herself down, she sounds like someone who tries to hard to be a label, in this case funny.

This can become overbearing and boring very quick.

This all depends on if how funny she is and if you yourself has a sense of humour. Perhaps you find it overbearing because you can't compare? This is hardly the fault of the "funny" person in question (that's presuming they are actually funny). I'd love to play an instrument well but I wouldn't resent someone who's naturally talented at it. If I did then that would be my problem. If someone admits to being talented at something , the Irish are all too quick to knock them down (and talent always takes some level of effort...even humour and so what? Big deal.).

It takes a long time for me to get bored of someone funny...I'd go as far as saying there's a dire need to see the funny side to what's happening worldwide...we all take ourselves way too seriously nowadays. If this is because the art of humour is considered to be dumbing yourself down, then we have a problem. I'd rather not go on if this is the way things will continue to go.

I think far play to you, OP!

lala stone

cowzerp wrote: »

I think the reason why people are turned off her is because she is dumbing herself down, she sounds like someone who tries to hard to be a label, in this case funny.

This can become overbearing and boring very quick.

+1
u did say,, in d original post that guys dont think there are many funny girls..so maybe you try too hard to be what u think they want..

cowzerp

We've only the op's own opinion that she is funny, and aswell as that-whats funny for 1 minute does not have to be funny 5 mins later, all i watch on tele is fighting and comedy, i love laughter but would not like to get stuck with someone who is in laughter mode all the time when sometimes people might just want to chill out and have a real chat.

if she's that funny she should get up on stage, there is a market for female stand up comics.

Eve_Dublin

cowzerp wrote: »

We've only the op's own opinion that she is funny, and aswell as that-whats funny for 1 minute does not have to be funny 5 mins later, all i watch on tele is fighting and comedy, i love laughter but would not like to get stuck with someone who is in laughter mode all the time when sometimes people might just want to chill out and have a real chat.

if she's that funny she should get up on stage, there is a market for female stand up comics.

But she did say she's chilled out a lot in recent years. She said she wasn't in laughter mode all the time if you read the posts. As OP said, you're jumping to conclusions based on nothing she said.

In fairness, you know if you're funny or not by your ability to make people laugh. It's all subjective. She might not make you laugh but she's made most people she's come across laugh...she doesn't seem so clueless as to be delusional about this....the guys she's liked laugh too much by the sounds of it and I think the poster who recognised that it could be a defence mechinism might have been on the right track.

I don't think the last comment was called for. I don't think her choice of career is her problem here and she said she'd no interest anyway.