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Speeding

  • 22-06-2009 08:31AM
    #1
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,786 ✭✭✭✭


    While I was driving down the M50 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been)

    I passed under a bridge only to see a Garda on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.

    The Garda pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk, asked: 'Runway too short?'

    To which I replied, 'I'm late for work.'

    To which he asked, 'What do you do?'

    'I'm a rectum stretcher,' I responded.

    The Garda was surprised and confused. 'A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'

    'Well,' I said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet.'

    Then the Garda asked questioningly and cautiously, 'And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?'

    To which I politely replied, 'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...'




    Speeding ticket: €100.00

    Court costs: €50

    Look on Garda's face: Priceless.


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