I want a fairwell fling :-(

LegacyUser

I understand I am going to be slated for this and accept it, but I need to ask a question. Married 10 years, 2 kids, still in love with an ex - boyfriend. NEVER got over him - he moved to Australia with work I was in college - long distance couldn't work out - I was also young.

He is back in Ireland looked me up and we have met twice for coffee. I would never leave my husband as he is amazing, and apart from the ex would never have considered being unfaithful. Never interested in any one else or anything like that - but I would love a night of passion with my ex as I have never gotten over him.

Is this the grass is greener syndrome, or a seven year itch as such. The funny thing is (not funny ha-ha), but myself and partner and a really healthy active, enjoyable sex life. We get on great, have the usual tiffs, but always resolved, no underlying issues - I am lucky to have such a good hubby and kids.

What is wrong with me - I feel awful for feeling this way in relation to my husband - yet the urge to do this is actually shocking me - I know it boils down to will power and if I don't see him again it won't happen - but I want it to happen.

Why is it that something so wrong can feel so right ? Some one kick me up the A*%e and tell me to cop on and look at what I have to loose for a moment of passion. I know no good can come out of it in the long term - but my god.........

Otis Driftwood

You admit you never got over him so to say you just want 1 night of passion is very naive.

Do it once and where will it stop?

Do you seriously want to jeporadise your whole marriage and splitting up your kids family unit for a shag with an old flame?

Cut all ties immediately with this guy and never look back otherwise you are flirting with disaster.

End of.

ogriofa

Unregistered wrote: »

Is this the grass is greener syndrome?

Not being a smartarse but... yes

Oh The Humanity

It wouldn't end at one nights passion though would it.

You are asking yourself why....but does that really matter?

Supposedly affairs or episodes of unfaithfulness are due to something wrong in the original relationship. But sometimes its just opportunity to get some, or some more and temptation mixed together and there is no real meaning to it. But you know that wont wash if you get found out.

If the chemistry is as hot as you say then it wont stay contained. It'll turn into a clusterfcuk.

LegacyUser

I just feel really sorry for your husband here.

username90

Stop thinkin about it as being this mad lovely night of passion where the two of you are able to do it and forget it without any consequences. Because there are plenty of consequences. You'r only thinkin of the old feelins you shared with your ex before, it would not be the same. You've changed, he's changed, everythin's changed. If you truly love your husband you wouldnt even be able to go through with it nyway. Think about how sick youd feel afterwards goin back 2your husband lying about where you were, how youd cringe when hed try to kiss you, how guilty youd feel when you two next went to have sex. Apart from anything else think of the damage it would do to your children if it came out.

For one thing, if it happened once what's to stop it happening again? You said it yourself you have a wonderful husband so cop yourself on a bit and realise what you'd end up losing for a stupid fling.

JJ

The grass is always greener where the dogs are ****ting.

SarahSassy

You are playing with fire - that you know.

You are hurting your husband - that you know

You are acting very dishonourably - that you know

You know it all so why are you acting like an idiot and jeopardising the good life you have? Have you told your hubby you have met this guy for coffee?

The bottom line OP is that you will listen to no one cos you are already on the path to infedility. Do you want to be unfaithful and live with this for the rest of your days? Does your hubby and kids deserve this treatment? Keep doing what you are doing if they do but prepare for the consequences emotionally, financially and practically.

You sound smart and articulate - wise up and quit your messing. Cut contact with your ex and invest in your family life.. You owe it to them and many people would love to trade places with you.

Its time to count your blessings.

Taltos

It's only natural to want what you can't have - or what you shouldn't have.

Look at this this way - if this ex did ever really love you - why did he leave...

Now though - you are married with kids.
Do you love your husband?
Do you love the life you have with your family?

If you answered Yes to both then ask yourself.
Do you want to have a fling with someone who did not love you enough to stay to build a life with you risking all that you have right now?

If you won't miss what you have then go for it - clearly you are not meant to be married to this guy and be raising a family with him.
But if you do - hope the price is worth it.

Personally would just cut the ties and remove that temptation from your sight.

getcover

Going against the grain here, but had a similar situation some years back.
Had a great night with an ex who I felt I had never got over, really enjoyed it, and within a day or two it hit me that all it had been was a great shag that I had idealised, and made my realise even more how good I had it at home.

Feel a little guilt to this day as regards my wife, but it got something out of my system that had been there for a long time in the background, and made things even better at home.

I'm not advocating that you do anything, but that's my experience of it...

LegacyUser

You know, I know all that, I know the grass is greener, I know I will feel guilty afterwards, I know that the pleasure I feel at the time, will be nothing in relation to the feelings that will fill me when we leave each other. I know it will end in a horrible unfulfilling way, I know the hurt and devastation it can cause. I know the emotional feelings of anguish over what I would have done, Yet, why do I still want to do it.

I say I want to - but the more I play devils advocate with myself the more I know I will not do it. I just feel I had to write it and see am I going mad. Those damn 'What If's' - I would say they are the ruins of many a good relationship. This is why I had to write.

It must be true that you don't realise what you have till it's gone - no thanks - I'll just have to get over these feelings and maybe project the sexual energy onto my husband -

Thanks for listening.

LegacyUser

So your wife was cool with it then getcover?

Taltos

Unregistered wrote: »

I'll just have to get over these feelings and maybe project the sexual energy onto my husband - .

He's going to be one lucky guy.
Reckon this happens alot. As I said we are only human and these are natural emotions. Trick is to know where to draw the line - ie keeping it in your head or...

Silverfish

Ok, I'll put it this way to you.

If you discovered your husband felt this way about a girl in work, or an ex, or a friend, and was willing to throw your relationship away for just one night with her, would you understand and say 'That's grand, go ahead'



Would you be alright with them meeting up?

I think you should just let it go, it's easy to romaticise these things in your head, but in all honestly, I think you're looking at him with rose-tinted glasses on.

snowy2008

would you really sacrifice two lovely little kids and a pretty much perfect husband for a one off shag? really? if you would then fire ahead, you really havent much repect for anyone but if you dont, then you can realise that your a good person with urges but you wouldnt act on them because of the aforementioned, hes an ex for a reason, he mustnt be much cop if hes tring it on withe you knowing you have a family, this guy should be avoided like the plague, could you even imagine if you did and your husband found out and understandably left you, how even worse your kids would feel knowing a shag with an ex was worth more than a family life, and you said yourself your happy, why on gods good green earth would you ruin it?!!!!

CDfm

Well OP the way to look at it is what if it happened to you.

Sheila arrives back from Aus all tanned and toned and gets in touch with your Hubby and he decides he wants "one last fling":rolleyes:

LegacyUser

I agree with silver fish. How would you feel if you found out your husband had these feelings for an ex and acted on them? I suspect you would be hurt and furious and possibly end a wonderful marriage and family life. In a way you are already cheating on him emotionally by meeting up with this guy behind his back when you feel this way about this guy.

If you were in a loveless marriage I could possibly understand what you are contemplating but if your marriage is as good as you say it is then you are a fool. You have to put your feelings for this man into perspective. They are from a different time and that time is past. The only place you can access this time is in your memory. Enjoy the memories, relive them like you would any good memory but don't bring them into the present. This man has no place in your present. Tell him that. I also think that he is being selfish meeting up with you again like this if he has any idea of your feelings which i suspect he has. Would he be as quick to jeopardize a great relationship for a quick 'for old time's sake one night stand' with you. I doubt it!
Snap out of it and be grateful for what you have here and now.

LegacyUser

i say go for it OP...you know you want to!...you only live once...just don't make it a regular thing. it won't hurt anyone as long as you keep it to yourself!

Oryx

Unregistered wrote: »

I know I will feel guilty

The fact that you wrote this in the future perfect tense, as if its a done deal, made me raise my eyebrows.

Those damn 'What If's' -

Thats what this is all about. What did I miss? What am I still missing? What is he like? Am I still a vixen (and not just a mummy)? Can I get away with this? My life is over/my life is boring. I deserve this! -All the regular reasons we give ourselves to do foolish things.

And its DAMN exciting. Its a new, fresh, love affair, with the added spice of being illicit. Lust is like a type of madness, you become blind to all the trouble it might cause. Youre doing that here to a degree... saying it would just be one night of lust. Balls. It would be the start of a rollercoaster ride of lust that only ends when it all goes off the rails.

Basically this guy is a rose tinted dream that you kept in all its sugar coated glory in your mind. A reminder of early days when you were young, and an itch you never got to scratch. And theres nothing more annoying than that. But youve got to see through that. Its hollow. Anyone can have great sex, not everyone can have the stability in your life that youve found. And you are looking at your would-be-lover in a warped way. Hes not that wonderful, hes not even a patch on your current fella, he is just untasted, forbidden fruit. Thats all thats making him attractive. That, and humdrum life looking so boring in comparison.

LegacyUser

If you do it, you are saying that you made bad decisions and your life, marriage, kids are not important to you. Is this true ?, have you always loved this guy more than your husband, is being with him a stronger desire than wanting a stable happy home for your kids.

Everybody gets old, grows up, you can still have fun, but you can't act like a child. Is it a desire for this guy or a desire to feel young again ?

Lets say you were still single and this guy came back, called you up said I'm horny, fancy a no strings attached shag. You'd tell him to F Off as you have more respect for yourself than to let a guy treat you like that.

Nevyn

It is not a final fling you are married the last 10 years I suggest you stop daydreaming about what never was and focus some of that time and engry on sorting out the issues in your relationship with your husband as you would not be this way if that was for filling your relationship needs. Yes if does seem like delayed on set of the 7 year itch and you want a bit of strange but you really need to rationally think about what you are at and the knock on effect of you neglecting your relationship with your husband.

Dan Chipowski

Unregistered wrote: »

i say go for it OP...you know you want to!...you only live once...just don't make it a regular thing. it won't hurt anyone as long as you keep it to yourself!

I don't agree with that 'won't hurt anyone' comment.

It will impact on your homelife, even if you do manage to keep it a secret. You've already admitted you would feel guilty, and if that's the case your husband will spot it more or less straight away.

Your ex probably thinks this is a great laugh too, home for a while and pulling old girlfriends for the fun of it.

rantyface

You could destroy your family life and end up a single mother and the ex won't want anything to do with the children, or a single mother with a jealous ex husband.

Don't see the ex again if you can't help these feelings. Whatever about those comments "you only live once" etc, you don't want to grow old and die alone, with children who probably won't respect you for doing what you did.

Salome

Here's another "What If" for you:

What if you went and had your shag and when you were leaving, decided that you wanted to leave your husband for this man?

I don't believe women can separate their emotions between an idealised shag and a real life relationship.

I think you need to wake up to reality here - don't be so bloody stupid. Don't risk a perfectly wonderful relationship for something that you really know in your heart of hearts won't live up to your expectations.

Cop on.

Barracudaincork

IMO i have had good sex, great sex, mind blowing sex etc etc but i have never ever had sex so good with anyone that i would risk all i had on it and i never have had as much as you to loose. It simply is just not worth it!

Trinity

Hi OP

I havent read all the replies so this could've been said, some things are best left in your head

Ok what if the sex is mind blowing? What next? Do you begin an affair? Can you handle just once?

Dont risk it all, if you were unhappy with a prick of a husband i'd almost understand your desire but.......tempting as it is that your husband may never find out, well you will know, everytime he smiles at you or looks into your eyes

YozzerHughes

And what if it's great, no one finds out and you go back to your life - no harm done?

It's what you are thinking.

Temptation. It'll get you every time.

getcover

Unregistered wrote: »

So your wife was cool with it then getcover?

She doesn't know.

I can appreciate what most of the other posters are saying, (though I think there seems to be a certain amount of patronising going on here, we are all only human, and only you can decide what to do with your life) the risks, what you can lose etc. etc., but seems to me that this is something really stuck inside you.
If you go ahead, and you can walk away and nobody knows, then I say fine.
If you go ahead, and you think that it will have a serious impact on everyone else, then think really long and hard before you act.

amy-marie

I wouldn't do it. You've got a good husband and family who don't deserve this. As other posters said you wouldn't be able to stop and just once and then where would you be?

getcover wrote: »

If you go ahead, and you can walk away and nobody knows, then I say fine.

I'm sorry, but is not "fine." I don't know where you pulled that twisted logic out from, but it is far from fine to cheat on your wife. Do you not have any respect for her at all? Do you not feel any guilt that you've betrayed her trust like that? Bad enough you cheated on her but the fact that you justifiy it and call it fine coz' you got away with it is appaling. And by the way, just because she doesn't know yet does not mean you've gotten away with it. These things always come back to bite you in the arse.

I honestly feel sorry for your wife.

LegacyUser

OP what if the shoe were on the other foot and it was your husband who wanted a "final Fling"? Would it be OK for him provided you didn't know? Would it damage your relationship? Would you two children end up suffering because of it?

I find it hard to understand why people post these type of posts, when then already know the answer themselves.

Do nothing to jeopardise what you currently have!

partyguinness

OP

Cheating is cheating. You will never be able to take it back.

Is it really worth potentially losing everything for a one night stand with an ex?

Think about it very very carefully. We are all tempted..hell I still think about this girl I kissed in college 10 years ago but for various reason it went no where. I still fantasise about her but no way in the world would I throw away what I have now with my OH for a quick fumble...just not worth it.

Cope onto yourself and show some maturity. Dnt risk throwing everything away over a fantasy from your younger years. Leave it in the past.

getcover

amy-marie wrote: »

I wouldn't do it. You've got a good husband and family who don't deserve this. As other posters said you wouldn't be able to stop and just once and then where would you be?



I'm sorry, but is not "fine." I don't know where you pulled that twisted logic out from, but it is far from fine to cheat on your wife. Do you not have any respect for her at all? Do you not feel any guilt that you've betrayed her trust like that? Bad enough you cheated on her but the fact that you justifiy it and call it fine coz' you got away with it is appaling. And by the way, just because she doesn't know yet does not mean you've gotten away with it. These things always come back to bite you in the arse.

I honestly feel sorry for your wife.

Thanks for the sympathy, I'll pass it on. Form now on, I'll try to become a superhuman like you, and never make mistakes or show some understanding for what some other human being is having difficulties with.

SarahSassy

getcover wrote: »

Thanks for the sympathy, I'll pass it on. Form now on, I'll try to become a superhuman like you, and never make mistakes or show some understanding for what some other human being is having difficulties with.

Thats not whats being said but you are no hero for cheating on your wife.

partyguinness

getcover wrote: »

Thanks for the sympathy, I'll pass it on. Form now on, I'll try to become a superhuman like you, and never make mistakes or show some understanding for what some other human being is having difficulties with.

Filling out a tax form wrong is a mistake
Getting drunk and kicked out of a bar is a mistake
Forgeting to lock the car is a mistake

A pre meditated and cowardly night of infidility is certainly not a mistake

Drummerboy2

The decent, proper thing to do is forget about your ex. You seem infatuated by him. YOu have to realise what a wonderful thing you have and cherish it. You could bring your whole world crashing down if your husband finds out you are being unfaithful. Your relationship will never be the same. You will also have a huge amount of guilt to carry around with you for the rest of your life. Can you imagine making love to your husband after you have been with this ex.

ManOfMystery

getcover wrote: »

She doesn't know.

I can appreciate what most of the other posters are saying, (though I think there seems to be a certain amount of patronising going on here, we are all only human, and only you can decide what to do with your life) the risks, what you can lose etc. etc., but seems to me that this is something really stuck inside you.
If you go ahead, and you can walk away and nobody knows, then I say fine.
If you go ahead, and you think that it will have a serious impact on everyone else, then think really long and hard before you act.

So you obviously have no issues with deceit?

Just because an affair can happen and nobody will know about it or get hurt doesn't mean it should.

Doing so would stink of having absolutely no respect for your partner or their trust in you, regardless of whether they will eventually find out about it or not.

RossFixxxed

You've said you want a kick up the arse so, cop the hell on. You have 2 choices

Stay with your husband.
Leave your husband for this guy. Who is an ex. Why is he an ex?

Is he really going to be THAT amazing. You are just having a bit of what if, I wonder etc, acting these thing out in a premeditated way is just cowardly and wrong. Look I'm not here for the moral lecture but your post clearly indicated you KNOW it is wrong. You remember the ex through the blur of hindsight, I'm sure it seems great in your head, but many things do. If you actually do them... it'll be very different.

Imagine your husband is off now with some young one that he PLANNED to get with. How would that be? A younger, much better looking, more adventurous girl perhaps...

So wake up and cop on. Ditch the ex, the lies, the guilt etc. OR be a bloody grown woman, grow a pair and tell your husband. He can then ditch you for someone that will treat him as he deserves to be.

You KNOW you are wrong. So do it, don't dally about in this inbetween mediocraty.

R

P.S. I learned one thing this year, after doing the trip of a lifetime: When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed.

marzic

I would say you're no different to many people who are married or in relationships, and wonder/daydream/fantacise what it would be like to have a fling/one night stand with an old flame. its a huge risk to take for an unknown outcome - its a gamble. the guilt will most likely outweigh the pleasure, it may well have an effect on you that may damage your marriage/family life. do you really think that the next morning you would just feel all fluffy inside, kiss him goodbye and head off into the sunset? if you feel this is a symtom of something missing in your life, then do you think you could sort it out within your own relationship, without going outside of it? many of us have fond memories of people we loved before, or maybe never got over, or have unresolved issues, but we have to look at where we are now... and who we are now.

VaioCruiser

Unregistered wrote: »

I understand I am going to be slated for this and accept it, but I need to ask a question. Married 10 years, 2 kids, still in love with an ex - boyfriend. NEVER got over him - he moved to Australia with work I was in college - long distance couldn't work out - I was also young.

He is back in Ireland looked me up and we have met twice for coffee. I would never leave my husband as he is amazing, and apart from the ex would never have considered being unfaithful. Never interested in any one else or anything like that - but I would love a night of passion with my ex as I have never gotten over him.

Is this the grass is greener syndrome, or a seven year itch as such. The funny thing is (not funny ha-ha), but myself and partner and a really healthy active, enjoyable sex life. We get on great, have the usual tiffs, but always resolved, no underlying issues - I am lucky to have such a good hubby and kids.

What is wrong with me - I feel awful for feeling this way in relation to my husband - yet the urge to do this is actually shocking me - I know it boils down to will power and if I don't see him again it won't happen - but I want it to happen.

Why is it that something so wrong can feel so right ? Some one kick me up the A*%e and tell me to cop on and look at what I have to loose for a moment of passion. I know no good can come out of it in the long term - but my god.........

OP - life is for living. But keeping in mind the law of unintended consequences.

There is absolutely nothing naive or silly about how you are feeling. And I don't buy into the moral judgements being posted earlier. Only you can decide what is right and wrong for you. The question about where will it end ? .. well in my view that is what life is about. It will go where you chose to go. That is for you to decide and I suspect that you really just want to taste what it would have been like, and that will be it.

I would suggest that you take a few moments to reflect on a few things. How do YOU feel about the principle of having such a fling ? would it make you feel guilty if you did, and your husband never ever finds out ? (The truth is this is a far more common thing than people ever admit).

The next thing you need to consider in the law of unintended consequences.... Can you trust this guy never ever to tell anyone ?? because a secret is not a secret once it is told to someone else who let's it slip when drunk ... and it gets around and then leaks out in ten years time....

One last point. Life has a scurrilous sense of humour.. and you may well find that the actual experience doesn't match what you imagine it will be like. Fantasy is fantasy. Reality is usually a lot less. or... it could be great...

Whatever you decide for yourself - I hope it goes well.

All the best.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Some one kick me up the A*%e and tell me to cop on and look at what I have to loose for a moment of passion. I know no good can come out of it in the long term - but my god.........

Look here and see what you have to lose. http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055597387



Once you sleep with him, the relationship you had with your husband is changed, whether he knows about it or not.

getcover

This thread is a perfect example of the sanctimonious bulls*t so beloved of so many Irish people.

A person asks a question about a dilemma, fully knowing the "wrongness" of what she is contemplating, and all the Judges gallop in on their high horses.

I know what I did is wrong, I know I feel guilt about it, I know it's not right. I don't need a bunch of prissy hypocrites telling me that.

What the OP was really asking about is something that she herself personally is feeling, and having thought about all the possible consequences, she still can't shake the feeling. This is the type of quandry human beings (obviously not those who contribute to this thread) find themselves in everyday.
They look at the situation, they think of the consequences and they are still torn.

I went through all that, I went ahead and acted, I got that failing out of my system. I don't justify it, I don't boast about it, I don't excuse it.
My life feels better now, I don't know if it would feel better or worse if I hadn't acted on my feelings.

But don't let that stop the rest of you making yourself feel a whole lot more smug, knowing that by your outpouring of outrage, you now know you are better than me.

To the OP, you ain't going to get any useful advice from any of us on this thread, the dilemma is for you to solve.

partyguinness

If trying to get a wife and mother of 2 children to seriously reconsider her position (is that not why she has posted here..for prespective?)) before she embarks on this course of action qualifies as "santimonious bull****" then we are guilty...off to the gallows..

We are the ones in wrong here...:rolleyes:..nice one..but as long as it helps you sleep at night...good for you.

I think that most here are simply trying to put things in perspective for the OP and asking here to weigh up possible long term damage from a one night fumble against the very short term preceived benefits...

Is she prepared to possibly throw that all away, ruin her marriage and her children for this? She has much to lose and little to gain.

You may be right...it may be the best thing she ever does and that could be the end of it...but there are also 2 children here...it is very selfish and immature IMO...acting like a love sick teenager.

partyguinness

I went through all that, I went ahead and acted, I got that failing out of my system. I don't justify it, I don't boast about it, I don't excuse it.
My life feels better now, I don't know if it would feel better or worse if I hadn't acted on my feelings.


Yes you do justify it, yes you do excuse it because...

"My life feels better now"

Clearly your life would be worse off if you hadnt done it because

"My life feels better now"

Amy33

Sounds to me like you shouldn't be married...

getcover

Keep twisting those knickers lads...

partyguinness

getcover wrote: »

Keep twisting those knickers lads...

I wonder would you advise your wife or children to take your advise if they ever find themselves in your situation...;)

"Honey, there is this guy from home whom I just met after 20 years. We have some unfinished business, would you mind terribly if he banged the **** out of me next Friday night?"

LegacyUser

GET COVER, most of the people here are advising the OP not to give in to her feelings for this man because at the end of her post she asks us to remind her how good she has it and what she is jeopardizing. From her post it seems as if she herself feels it would be morally wrong.
I don't think anybody here is being smug. They are trying to get her to look past her own feelings and not to act on something which could cause so much pain further down the line, whether to herself through guilt or to her husband and children. She has obviously taken her marriage vows seriously otherwise she would not have asked our advice, she would have slept with him already.

Wagon

Unregistered wrote: »

You know, I know all that, I know the grass is greener, I know I will feel guilty afterwards, I know that the pleasure I feel at the time, will be nothing in relation to the feelings that will fill me when we leave each other.

...

It must be true that you don't realise what you have till it's gone - no thanks - I'll just have to get over these feelings and maybe project the sexual energy onto my husband -

Thanks for listening.

I agree with this idea. Maybe cut contact with this man so you won't be tempted.

cat_rant

Every person has their own moral compass - this means that they have an internal filter that will point them in the direction of what is the right decision for them. I live with my boyfriend of 4 years who use to be married and has a wonderfull son. Do people not deserve second chances?

Many of the posters here are talking through their own moral compasses and saying what is the right answer for them. However OP sit and think and know yourself well enough to know what the right choice is for you.

Many people would say I live in sin. I would say I live in Happiness. I hope what ever the outcome is - it will be the right descision for you and your family.

Best wishes

LegacyUser

Hands up..i did almost exactly that a year ago..difference being there are no kids involved, and that does make a difference.
I kinda got a panic ..an is this it- kind of feeling? I did have a one night stand ,that turned into a mad. romantic illicit weekend with an ex.
yes, totally wrong
yes, betrayal of the worst kind
yes, im not worthy of a good guy like my oh
but..
nobody got hurt and it was safe sex
it was a time in my life i will always look back on when im old with pleasure as one of the peak times of my life and i for one am happy i did it...

the_god_swan

Unregistered wrote: »

I understand I am going to be slated for this and accept it, but I need to ask a question. Married 10 years, 2 kids, still in love with an ex - boyfriend. NEVER got over him - he moved to Australia with work I was in college - long distance couldn't work out - I was also young.

He is back in Ireland looked me up and we have met twice for coffee. I would never leave my husband as he is amazing, and apart from the ex would never have considered being unfaithful. Never interested in any one else or anything like that - but I would love a night of passion with my ex as I have never gotten over him.

Is this the grass is greener syndrome, or a seven year itch as such. The funny thing is (not funny ha-ha), but myself and partner and a really healthy active, enjoyable sex life. We get on great, have the usual tiffs, but always resolved, no underlying issues - I am lucky to have such a good hubby and kids.

What is wrong with me - I feel awful for feeling this way in relation to my husband - yet the urge to do this is actually shocking me - I know it boils down to will power and if I don't see him again it won't happen - but I want it to happen.

Why is it that something so wrong can feel so right ? Some one kick me up the A*%e and tell me to cop on and look at what I have to loose for a moment of passion. I know no good can come out of it in the long term - but my god.........

Head down to smithfield and spend a few hours around the family law courts girl and see if you have it in you to drag your life and children through that... and if decide you do, then christ shag him senseless!