Out of Booze

davyjose

Finished all my cans. What now?

My name is URL

Heroin?

admiralofthefleet

metelathed spirits? petrol? piss?

phelixoflaherty

Lighter fluid

Gummy Panda

Have you tried toilet duck?

well horse

Old Spice

Borneo Fnctn

What I sometimes do when the offo is closed is get a rag soaked in petrol, tie it around my head and masturbate until I collapse.

Edit: You probably shouldn't go down this road if you have guests.

easyeason3

Knock on your neighbours door in the hope they have some booze & is willing to part with it to get rid of you.
Or you could try some mouthwash.

Anyway what are you questioning, every house has a bottle of poitin, just water it down & hold your nose as you drink it.
Don't drink it straight or take a big gulp of it, if you do that it could be Friday before you sober up. You have been warned.

Havermeyer

Sniff cat pee.

admiralofthefleet

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Have you tried toilet duck?

[father ted]you'll be seeing them pink elephants again[/father ted]

Gazza22

Drink your blood

davyjose

I gave up heroin last summer. It gave me hives.

I assume it was hives, but I only read the first three letters of that word, on the letter, marked urgent, the Doc sent me.

drunkmonkey

banana skins, pop 'em in the oven for 20 minutes and spark them up...

davyjose

easyeason3 wrote: »

Knock on your neighbours door in the hope they have some booze & is willing to part with it to get rid of you.
Or you could try some mouthwash.

Anyway what are you questioning, every house has a bottle of poitin, just water it down & hold your nose as you drink it.
Don't drink it straight or take a big gulp of it, if you do that it could be Friday before you sober up. You have been warned.

Hmmm... cat pee, eh?

Abi

davyjose wrote: »

Finished all my cans. What now?

Oh I know this one, remain calm sir! You have to distract yourself from the craving, and wear yourself out enough to sleep. Pr0n is the answer, always.

Random

Last orders down your local! (most good ones should be finishing up around now )

BeerWolf

The Horror

Captain-America

Dreamy Sleepy Nighty Snoozy Snooze.

the_dark_side

I dont drink until 11 pm. This way Im sure of a few gargles before I feel tired. Try ringing your local and get a back door carry out, or ring a buddy and get them to call over, or a taxi down to the late bar etc

easyeason3

davyjose wrote: »

Hmmm... cat pee, eh?

Cat pee is for losers.
Are you a loser Davy? Are you?


* I drank half a pint of poitin one night thinking it was water. I had just gotten in from an almighty session & was thirsty. Four days later I was still shaking. I think that should have been a 'pump my stomach' moment.

Super-Rush

Go to your AA meeting and admit you have a problem.

admiralofthefleet

where are you op?
i have the keys to a pub on me

davyjose

I found a drop of Whiskey I'd forgotten about.

That "We're in the money" song is stuck on repeat in my head.

bronte

Buy more cans next time! Rob someone elses when theyre not looking.

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Saibh

davyjose wrote: »

I found a drop of Whiskey I'd forgotten about.

That "We're in the money" song is stuck on repeat in my head.

Did you do the lotto tonight?

FearDark

Last orders... HURRY!

davyjose

easyeason3 wrote: »

Cat pee is for losers.
Are you a loser Davy? Are you?

If the lower limit of non-loserness is just about not drinking cat pee, then you are right. I am not a loser Godammit.

Super-Rush

davyjose wrote: »

I found a drop of Whiskey I'd forgotten about.

That "We're in the money" song is stuck on repeat in my head.

Unless its JD you're after taking the piss option

Amalgam

Lurk on boards all night, it's intoxicating!

Remember.. F5 F5 F5.

easyeason3

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]As I was going over the far famed Kerry mountains
I met with captain Farrell and his money he was counting.
I first produced my pistol, and then produced my rapier.
Said stand and deliver, for I am a bold deceiver,[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]musha ring dumma do damma da
whack for the daddy 'ol
whack for the daddy 'ol
there's whiskey in the jar[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I counted out his money, and it made a pretty penny.
I put it in my pocket and I took it home to Jenny.
She said and she swore, that she never would deceive me,
but the devil take the women, for they never can be easy[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I went into my chamber, all for to take a slumber,
I dreamt of gold and jewels and for sure it was no wonder.
But Jenny took my charges and she filled them up with water,
Then sent for captain Farrel to be ready for the slaughter.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]It was early in the morning, as I rose up for travel,
The guards were all around me and likewise captain Farrel.
I first produced my pistol, for she stole away my rapier,
But I couldn't shoot the water so a prisoner I was taken.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]If anyone can aid me, it's my brother in the army,
If I can find his station down in Cork or in Killarney.
And if he'll come and save me, we'll go roving near Kilkenny,
And I swear he'll treat me better than me darling sportling Jenny[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Now some men take delight in the drinking and the roving,
But others take delight in the gambling and the smoking.
But I take delight in the juice of the barley,
And courting pretty fair maids in the morning bright and early[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][/FONT]

Euro_Kraut

davyjose wrote: »

If the lower limit of non-loserness is just about not drinking cat pee, then you are right. I am not a loser Godammit.

That's the spirit! See your not entirely worthless after all! Good for you.

kumate_champ07

Euro_Kraut wrote: »

That's the spirit!

pun intended?

yerayeah

The Cork and Kerry mountains...