AH Member's Classified

johnny_knoxvile

Leave your classified add here, describing yourself in a couple of lines as seen in the papers!

The best one wins a prize...

Best female gets a date with Rented Mule (pending his agreement to being involed in this) & boxers signed and worn by Dickie Rock.

Best male entry gets a date with puddleduck (pending the winner being rich, handsome and not an AH member) and a lap dance from Twink!

*please note Mr Knoxvile's decision is final, there are no cash alternatives. I have nothing to do with Rabbo Direct. I am not beyond reproach, all bribes will be cosidered. All post cost 2 euro. And prizes stated are subject to change.

Danbo!

Location: Knocklyon, Dublin

johnny_knoxvile wrote: »

.....and a lap dance from Twink!

Twink, that you?

CHD

2nd

monkeyfudge

Fat man seeks ginger girl to make ugly babies.

Gone Drinking

Internet male seeks crack and heartbeat. Coco pops and porn addiction at must.

johnny_knoxvile

CHD wrote: »

2nd

give us an original thread, join in or you win the Twink lap dance!

As they said in Blind Date, "the decision... is yours!"

johnny_knoxvile

Stee wrote: »

Twink, that you?

dam, you worked out the connection! I have a gimp suit that needs dusting off, use or lose it.

Porkpie

Retired truck driver, few extra pounds, slight facial twitch. Interests are duck hunting, Kenny Rogers and moonshine. Seeking a young church-going Britney Spears lookalike for forest walks, child rearing and cooking.

Dord

Stee wrote: »

Twink, that you?

She's probably his Ma. :pac:

Dord

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Fat man seeks ginger girl to make soulless ugly babies.

FYP.

ronnie3585

More wa-ther.

TheZohanS

TheZohan.

TheZohan.jpg


That is all.:cool:

johnny_knoxvile

Dord wrote: »

She's probably his Ma. :pac:

im your ma. Shouldnt you be studying for your leaving cert rather than posting in AH and the Jonas Brothers forum? Wait until your father gets home.

eddie28

Hideous-looking, obese, smelly, ill-tempered, lazy, cowardly, chronic, and a complete liar seeks total opposite.

javaboy

Mrs. Rafferty's bake sale will not be on this Sunday as usual due to her untimely death. Apologies for any inconvenience caused.

Acacia

Classy lady, enjoys daytime TV, McDonald's , fake tan, and Blue WKD, seeks refined gentleman for good times, clubbin', dole- fraud and help rearing my five kids. Ability to tuck tracksuit bottoms into socks preferred.


Pic included!

Me.jpg

antodeco

Wanted: Female with love for Cappuchin Monkeys. Must be willing to travel due to recent promotion.
Houses in many foreign places including Carlow, Birmingham, Albequrque and Cameroon. Birth Cert and Documentation a must. Willing to collect from nearest Airport.

My name is URL

Have Viagra, need women between 18 - 80

antodeco

Acacia wrote: »

Classy lady, enjoys daytime TV, McDonald's , fake tan, and Blue WKD, seeks refined gentleman for good times, clubbin', dole- fraud and help rearing my five kids. Ability to tuck tracksuit bottoms into socks preferred.


Pic included!

Me.jpg

Still would though...

GavRedKing

Male requires the riiide, species or sex not important all candidates subject to inspection.

Acacia

antodeco wrote: »

Still would though...

Antodeco?

I've already been with three Antos, and two Decos, but sure I'll give ye a bash!

javaboy

antodeco wrote: »

Still would though...

Acacia wrote: »

Antodeco?

I've already been with three Antos, and two Decos, but sure I'll give ye a bash!

Hey woah woah woah. Don't the mods get a cut or a commission or something before you get to exchange details?

4zn76tysfajdxp

1988 Toyota Corolla 1.6 Diesel for sale, 600,000 miles no NCT, €300 ono.

Mr Benevolent

At least now we know what Javaboy does for a living

Boeing 707-200 for sale. Big crack in left wing, engines spit flame and fuel tanks leak. Still flying (just about). One careful owner, 4 reckless ones.

tech77

johnny_knoxvile wrote: »

Leave your classified add here, describing yourself in a couple of lines as seen in the papers!

The best one wins a prize...

Best female gets a date with Rented Mule (pending his agreement to being involed in this) & boxers signed and worn by Dickie Rock.

Best male entry gets a date with puddleduck (pending the winner being rich, handsome and not an AH member) and a lap dance from Twink!

*please note Mr Knoxvile's decision is final, there are no cash alternatives. I have nothing to do with Rabbo Direct. I am not beyond reproach, all bribes will be cosidered. All post cost 2 euro. And prizes stated are subject to change.

Post cost 2 euro?
Fcuk that :rolleyes:

D'oh!

cherryghost

if you're bi, can you have the best of both worlds?

javaboy

cherryghost wrote: »

if you're bi, can you have the best of both worlds?

No but you have to pay €4 since you're getting twice the audience for your post.

phasers

Dog found, small brown Yorkshire terrier.


And he was damn tasty too.

Dord

johnny_knoxvile wrote: »

im your ma. Shouldnt you be studying for your leaving cert rather than posting in AH and the Jonas Brothers forum? Wait until your father gets home.

Why would I study for the leaving cert? I did that many years ago! :rolleyes:

phasers

johnny_knoxvile wrote: »

im your ma. Shouldnt you be studying for your leaving cert rather than posting in AH and the Jonas Brothers forum? Wait until your father gets home.

THERE'S A JONAS BROTHERS FORUM??

O.M.G. :D:D:D

johnny_knoxvile

phasers wrote: »

Dog found, small brown Yorkshire terrier.


And he was damn tasty too.

do you mean tasty as in the Gordon Ramsey sense or the "Animal Farm" sense?

phasers

johnny_knoxvile wrote: »

do you mean tasty as in the Gordon Ramsey sense or the "Animal Farm" sense?

I mean it in the "animal house" sense

johnny_knoxvile

phasers wrote: »

I mean it in the "animal house" sense

thats what i thought. You spend a lot of time in petting zoos dont you?

phasers

johnny_knoxvile wrote: »

that what i thought. You spend a lot of time in petting zoos dont you?

Hey! That sheep came on to me

johnny_knoxvile

Once it didnt cum on you.

FlutterinBantam

Toned male, hung like a Mexican Burro, non smoker,plenty of money,doesn't mind cellulite or hairy midge or greasy smelly flaps.

WLTM like minded female,fat arse and big tits with view to romantic walks on beach and the odd dump in the dunes.

No scrawnys or stringies or thongies.

eddie28

WANTED: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. P.O. Box 20 Dublin Ireland. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

Aidric

Albino male, 28, enjoy long periods indoors watching torture p0rn as well as evening walks in the rain. Looking to meet submissive female for board games and possibly more.

Red_Marauder

Liberal male, early 20s, seeks dominant, foul-mouthed, tracksuit wearing, beargut ladyman, into fem-liberty, hairy legs and intense freedom. Preferably a member of a rural GAA team, must be able to drink her immense bodyweight in beer.
Probably a lesbian with a moustache.

Snowie

female monkey required for full moon mating ritual, must be of good blood origins,
with strong pedigree in chimp raising, self reliant, and a good nit/flea picker...

veryangryman

Mine?

Incurable romantic.....seeks filthy whore :pac:

funk-you

Jungwan wanted, if yer a bowlar i still might let ye give me a munch. Must be named Katrina cause i'm not changin the sticker on the top of me windscreen.

Sound.

Borneo Fnctn

Men wanted: For hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long months of darkness, constant danger, safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in case of success.

FlutterinBantam

Men wanted!!!
WTF...


HI.....

Rented Mule

johnny_knoxvile wrote: »

!

The best one wins a prize...

Best female gets a date with Rented Mule (pending his agreement to being involed in this) & boxers signed and worn by Dickie Rock.

Yet again .....only a 'rented' mule.

edit: Mrs Rented Mule (the one who owns this mule) says that all sales are final. No returns !!!

antodeco

Acacia wrote: »

Antodeco?

I've already been with three Antos, and two Decos, but sure I'll give ye a bash!

I can put it in both holes at once

Captain-America

Lost; reward if found.

phasers

http://www.chicgeeks.com/uploaded_images/Cat-found-717189.PNG

sub-x

Good looking bloke in an ugly blokes body is looking for similar female or best offer.

Aisling(",)

17 year old looking for wealthy pensioner near to death.
bank balance required.

Captain-America

52 Chinese acrobats wanted for elaborate stunt involving a hot air balloon and two to three turtles, depending on wind resistance.

Prizes for survivors.