Lying cheating b*****d

LegacyUser

Hi,

Me and my boyfriend went to a party on Sunday, he ended up disappearing for a while with this (old) woman, when he came back he said to his mate, nothing happened because he couldn't get a hard on, everything kicked off and I beat him black and blue.

This woman is twice his age almost and isn't even attractive. They went out for a walk because she was upset as her son (my boyfriends mate) was killed in a crash a few years ago and was due to be the anniversary. My boyfriend has known her for years and years.

He is now denying anything happened and he made the comment as a stupid drunken macho mistake but doesn't remember saying it although he remembers "talking" to this woman. He swears nothing happened but I can't stop thinking it did. He said the only thing he did wrong was making that comment.

I can't stop crying.

Do you think this was meant as a joke because I was told he wasn't exactly subtle about saying it...what should I do?

Wibbs

For a start you need to learn to step back and calm down. Going down the beating black and blue route is not on. If a guy came on here and said the same thing he would be rightly taken to task for being a spineless emotionally weak person. Whats good for the goose....

As for your issue? Well how likely was it? I mean she's twice his age and a dead mates mother. Possible but unlikely. I would say it was probably some silly "joke". Regardless, your reaction was well out of order and your continued emotional response is equally out of proportion given the actual situation.

Step back. Get a hold of yourself and ask him again, without going over the top. I'm surprised he's still around TBH. I wouldn't be.

aye

what age is your bf?
Well either way he's an ass.

he either a. cheated on you and bragged about it to his mate, or b. didnt cheat, but made out like he did to his mate to look 'macho'.

cant tell you what to do, but you have to wonder if you wanna be with someone who will do either of those things?

LegacyUser

Maybe I shouldn't have beat him but I was so humiliated having people telling me he just cheated on me, he gets so drunk that I can't trust him. I can trust him when he is sober but he loves attention because underneath, I think he has no confidence, she was telling him she doesn't love her husband and they don't have sex, so she must have wanted it and he would have gone along with it because he is a cheater. He cheated on exes and now he has cheated on me.

How can he deny it after that comment? If it was said as a joke, his mate wouldn't have told me.

LegacyUser

He is nearly 29. By the way, his mate happens to be this woman's nephew. His mate hit the roof then told me, but naturally they both deny it. He swears nothing happened but he was so pissed, he probably can't remember, she was no better. She was all over the place.

keefg

Unregistered wrote: »

.what should I do?

Unregistered wrote: »

I can't trust him............. he would have gone along with it because he is a cheater. He cheated on exes and now he has cheated on me.
.

Me thinks you have answered your own question there.

3qsmavrod5twfe

Sounds to me like a bit of bravado that you are letting get out of hand. Trust me, I'm a guy .

Seriously, it was probably a tender/awkward situation for you bf to have to speak with his dead mates mother more than likely about said dead friend. The scenario I imagine happening is when he got back in, his mates were jibing him saying that he only went off to do the deed with her and rather than get upset/annoyed/have to explain an awkward situation to them (which I assure you would be ammunition forever for his mates if they're anything like mine) he said he couldn't get it up. It was meant as a joke, in poor taste granted, but a joke none the less.

If I was you I would let it slide, tell him that you don't appreciate him joking like that and leave it there. It perhaps wouldn't be the best decision to drive a stake into your relationship over what I would consider to be a throwaway remark. Hell, he didn't even remember saying it.

Slow Motion

He lied and you beat him? I don't know which of you should dump the other! I'm sorry if that sounds harsh OP, but in my opinion cheating is unacceptable in a relationship and if it happened to me I would end it! Violence in a relationship is unnaceptable in a relationship and if it happend to me I would end it! I think you need to sit down and have a long hard think about you, your boyfriend and your relationship, and if it is a healthy one, and maybe think about councelling!

Wurly

Unregistered wrote: »

Maybe I shouldn't have beat him but I was so humiliated having people telling me he just cheated on me, he gets so drunk that I can't trust him. I can trust him when he is sober but he loves attention because underneath, I think he has no confidence, she was telling him she doesn't love her husband and they don't have sex, so she must have wanted it and he would have gone along with it because he is a cheater. He cheated on exes and now he has cheated on me.

How can he deny it after that comment? If it was said as a joke, his mate wouldn't have told me.

If you can't trust him, then why the hell are you still with him???

Honestly - what are you doing?

The answer is obvious. Break up with him ffs.

If it's him you can't trust, well then, getting rid is the way to go.

If you don't trust any guy, then this is your issue and you must work on that yourself.

I think regardless of who you trust and who you don't, you are seriously lacking in self respect. Someone who labels their boyfriend as a cheater and stays with him has zero self worth tbh.

That needs to be addressed because if it isn't, you will continue to pick bad men. That's assuming this guy has done anything in the first place and its not your overreaction!

ziedth

honestly imo love if you really felt he did cheat i don't think you'd be on herd asking ask what we think.

I agree with the posters above that violence is never the answer if i was on here saying that i'd be having my nutts handed to me about now.

Anyway, to me it sounds like you and particularly his mate are over reacting. He didn't say this comment infront of you i'd imagine his mates where getting onto him.

I'd be more concerned that you can't trust him in the first place tbh

Wibbs

ziedth wrote: »

I agree with the posters above that violence is never the answer if i was on here saying that i'd be having my nutts handed to me about now.

Very much so and rightfully too. If I came on and said "I suspected my girlfriend was cheating so, when she didn't give me a good reason, I beat her black and blue" I think the posts would take on a completely different hue. If I tried to justify it in some way by saying "well she humiliated me so I just lost the rag", can you imagine the reactions? Your self esteem and whether he's a gobshíte or not would be barely mentioned. Double standard at play here, or a misconception at best. There's no excuse for that in a man or a woman and TBH I think that part is being glossed over.

So, you say he's a serial cheater? He's cheated on exes before you? You knew all this yet you went out with him? I agree with Trí on this. You need to look to why you would decide(and it is a decision BTW) to go for someone like this. Is this the first guy like this or have you been down this road before? If so ask yourself why. Ask yourself why you would ignore such a red flag at the start. Ask yourself why you would continue to ignore a red flag like this. What are you deep down getting from this kind of behaviour and you're getting something or you wouldn't go for it in the first place and you wouldn't stick around. They're the questions you need to ask of yourself. Filter that out and then and only then look at the behaviour of your BF.

Wagon

Your boyfriend tried to cheat on you with his dead mate's ma. then you kicked the **** out of him...

I think you know that this has run it's course. If you can't trust him there's no point. you're a ***** for beating him up too, just as bad as he is.

Wibbs

Wagon ease up on the bitch stuff please.

Wagon

Wibbs wrote: »

Wagon ease up on the bitch stuff please.

sorry bud.

LegacyUser

I am so upset, I haven't eaten since Sunday, I feel too sick. I also feel stupid because I love him and don't want to go. I always pity these women who go through **** and say "but I love him", and now I am one of them.

Wibbs

Again you need to look to yourself for these answers. Forget him for the moment. Self examine why you are staying. You know as you say "I love him" is not an answer nor is it a reason, it's an excuse for something underlying in you that needs to be addressed. If you dont address it you will be doomed to repeat it with him and the next guy and the next guy.

Look at your family history. Is this behaviour that you mistake for love? Look at your first relationship. Is this a pattern that started there and because you had nothing to judge it against considered it normal? Do you feel you deserve to be properly treated? Do you know(I don't mean think you know either) what it is to be properly treated? Do you seek out drama in your emotional life to make it more interesting and make you feel more alive? If so is this how you make up your quota of emotional stimulation? Do you feel a guy who is attractive to other women and cheats on them is more valuable and attractve to you because you think you can "change him"? These are the questions you should ask yourself.

As I say if you don't do some self exploration you will be doomed to repeat these mistakes. You may end up with a child from one of these mistakes or married to one. Not good. For you. Learn now and live a better life later.

Wurly

OP - you will be one of those women if you choose to be.

You decide your own fate. You don't have to be one of those women. You have a choice.

Let me tell you something. Love shouldn't hurt. A person who loves you will not treat you like sh1t.

You need to love yourself first though, as Oprah as it sounds. Your idea of what love is is skewed. This is not love. And, like everyone else, you deserve happiness.

If you don't move on, you will become more unhappy. If you do move on, it will hurt for a while but you will be proud of yourself. That pride can then be used to work on yourself.

Staying in this is going to be a disaster.

Liam Byrne

I'm just looking at the thread title and wondering why it calls him a "lying cheating b*****d", considering there's absolutely no proof.

If it said "did he or didn't he" or "I don't believe him", then fair enough, but you've not only accused him of lying but also accused him of cheating - with zero proof.

Now, you two obviously have had issues in the past, so that might explain the mistrust, but believe me, it'll be a self-fulfilling prophesy if you keep hitting him (actually "beating him black and blue" is a LOT more than hitting) so you two will be doomed.

And if he did do it, there's no point staying.

But if it were me, I'd have walked on the spot after getting accused and beaten. And if it were a girl, everyone here would have been advising her to walk; Wibbs is 100% right - the double-standards stink.

Unregistered wrote:

I love him and don't want to go.

Funny way of showing it.

Unregistered wrote:

I always pity these women who go through **** and say "but I love him", and now I am one of them

Who exactly went through **** in the scenario described in your original post ? Yes, there was a "lads comment" insensitive remark by your O/H, but it wouldn't - or shouldn't - have made you "go through ****".

Have you NEVER been out with the girls and looked at a guy and said "Jeez, I would" ?

LegacyUser

Thing is, he didn't just say 'I would', he disppeared for about 30 mins and "didn't hear his phone" when I tried calling. Then his mate her nephew), when he got back, said what have you two been up to and he said, nothing I couldn't get a hard on. His mate was drunk too so MAY have took it the wrong way but it is his auntie FFS! Plus, his mate said he said it loud enough for others to hear and his sister also heard it and immediately told me to get rid.

I am wondering whether I should cheat to make myself feel better, and 'even'.

He just called me saying he promises he did nothing, he said he would understand if I wanted to end it as that comment was out of order but he swears the only thing he did was make that comment.

I can't see them together if you get what I mean but she was upset and drunk, and he went out to comfort her and you know what alcohol and emotion does.

AARRRGH

Unregistered wrote: »

Maybe I shouldn't have beat him

What do you mean maybe you shouldn't have beat him?

He should dump your psycho ass.

I find it amazing how tolerant people are being of your despicable behaviour. If the situation was reverse and a man came here talking about how he beat his girlfriend black and blue because of a silly comment she made, people would be outraged.

What you did is disgusting and you should be utterly ashamed of yourself.

Noelleieos

OP, the best thing to do, no matter how difficult, is to sit down with him and talk about it. You need to tell him exactly how you feel about everything that's happened. It's not good for your own self esteem to be with someone like that. Beating him black and blue was a bit much, I understand you would have been angry with him, but it doesn't justify what you did at all and that is something you should be apologizing for. I went through something similar with my boyfriend, I had no real proof, just what I'd seen, I confronted him about it about 6/7 times and he kept denying it, I never believed him which is why I kept pursuing it, eventually I found what I was looking for and he couldn't lie anymore. The important thing for you is not to lose your head, keep calm and give yourself a bit of time. At this point you should do what you feel is right (preferably not beating him though) if that means staying with him or not, but the truth will always come out. I hope everything works out for you.

the_dark_side

Dry your eyes, and finish it with him. End of story, end of thread

Jumpy

Its a guy joke. A particularly dumb one at that.

Guy is alone with a MUCH older woman for a few minutes. Mates slag him. Guy retaliates with joke of his own "yeah I woulda but I couldnt get it up!" much hilarity ensues.

*UNEXPECTED RESULT*
Girlfriend goes ****ing mental. Psychotically assaults him.


Its macho bull**** on him and his friends parts. But you should really grow up a bit.

LegacyUser

His mate wasn't having it though, it was his auntie - if it was a man joke, his mate wouldn't have come up to me and said what he did because his mate isn't like that, he is a lovely guy and he has no reason to stir - it is his best mate. He was furious that he could even say that, let alone spend that time with her.

I feel sick, I really do.

I have lost 3lbs though through not eating so it isn't all bad.

I just don't get it, she isn't even remotely attractive - I am beautiful and I really mean that, he knows he is lucky to have me.

Sorry about the hitting, I have apologised to him but he shouldn't have said what he did. Now everyone at the party is saying they don't think anything happened now, bit late for that - the damage has been done. Everyone was pissed, it was the lad's birthday, it was an all dayer so maybe things did get blown up but you can't ignore the fact he was out with her a good 30 mins and never answered his phone, then he made that comment.

He had a good chat with the mate in question before and he said he will discuss it with me tonight.

His mate said he is the type who would hold his hands up, but maybe now he is (quite rightly) scared of my reaction. Or maybe he does believe he is innocent, if he can't remember making the comment, what else has he forgotten?

AARRRGH

Unregistered wrote: »

I have lost 3lbs though through not eating so it isn't all bad.

:rolleyes:

Maybe he did make a move on her, maybe he didn't. You will probably never know for sure.

If I were you I'd be doing a lot of self-reflection to try to figure out why I react so dramatically to things, i.e. violence, won't eat, etc. Your reaction is a lot more worrying than the comment he made.

Wibbs

You're really missing a lot of what's going on here. I know some people are not blessed with much insight, but you need to get some or you will not have a healthy emotional life.

Unregistered wrote: »

His mate wasn't having it though, it was his auntie - if it was a man joke, his mate wouldn't have come up to me and said what he did because his mate isn't like that, he is a lovely guy and he has no reason to stir - it is his best mate. He was furious that he could even say that, let alone spend that time with her.

Was he drunk? What has the mate got to say about it all now?

I feel sick, I really do.

Why? Seriously. What about all the stuff about him cheating on exes and such.

I have lost 3lbs though through not eating so it isn't all bad.

Me not touching that with a ten foot bargepole(3 metres for the kids)

I just don't get it, she isn't even remotely attractive - I am beautiful and I really mean that, he knows he is lucky to have me.

Again what about you? Do you feel lucky to have him.

Sorry about the hitting, I have apologised to him but he shouldn't have said what he did.

Again no insight and ignoring the point. If a woman mate of yours got beaten "black and blue" by her BF would you say, "ah sure it was regrettable but you shouldn't have said that"? I don't think you would. It would be moronic to do so.

Now everyone at the party is saying they don't think anything happened now, bit late for that - the damage has been done.

Nope. You want the damage to be done. You're looking for excuses to ramp up the drama for your own emotional stimulation. Everything about your posts tells me that in my humble anyway.

Everyone was pissed, it was the lad's birthday, it was an all dayer so maybe things did get blown up but you can't ignore the fact he was out with her a good 30 mins and never answered his phone, then he made that comment.

No, but you can deal with it. Trust what he has told you and see where that takes you. Actually forget about him and this incident, ask yourself why you react in such a way, why you stay with a guy you claim and feel is a cheater. "I love him" doesn't cut it.

His mate said he is the type who would hold his hands up, but maybe now he is (quite rightly) scared of my reaction. Or maybe he does believe he is innocent, if he can't remember making the comment, what else has he forgotten?

Again you refuse to take things on face value and ramp them up.

IMHO you really and I mean really need to step back and gain some insight. If you don't you will not have a happy outcome in your emotional life.

Duckjob

AARRRGH wrote:

What do you mean maybe you shouldn't have beat him?

He should dump your psycho ass.

Harsh, but fair.

Jumpy wrote:

Its a guy joke. A particularly dumb one at that.

Guy is alone with a MUCH older woman for a few minutes. Mates slag him. Guy retaliates with joke of his own "yeah I woulda but I couldnt get it up!" much hilarity ensues.

*UNEXPECTED RESULT*
Girlfriend goes ****ing mental. Psychotically assaults him.


Its macho bull**** on him and his friends parts. But you should really grow up a bit.

Thats pretty much exactly the way I would've read it. Unless there's more history there that the OP hasn't shared, it sounds like a huge overreaction.

Unregistered wrote: »

I just don't get it, she isn't even remotely attractive - I am beautiful and I really mean that, he knows he is lucky to have me.

Ah, comeon now. Is this for real?

Attractiveness depends on where you're standing. Lack of psycho-ness could be considered attractive to somebody used to having to deal with psycho sh*te on a regular basis.

OP you've posted on here saying that your bf told you nothing untoward happened, yet you've titled the thread "Lying, cheating b*stard".

The lack of trust there is reason enough to call it a day, and thats without getting into your problem with physical abuse in the relationship.

LegacyUser

I am not starving myself on purpose, I can't face food, I feel sick and upset. It is more than a comment, it has planted a seed of doubt and as you say, I probably will never know - she will and has denied it, her husband even said nothing happened, but he wasn't there watching them even though he was with me at the party, and she ain't gonna exactly admit it to him is she?!?

He has nothing to lose by opening up to me, he knows we are on the verge of splitting, even though I don't want that. I just want him to be honest with me and control his drinking.

I can't get the image of them out of my head, she is ugly FFS!!!!

Slow Motion

Unregistered wrote: »

I am wondering whether I should cheat to make myself feel better, and 'even'.

:rolleyes:

Unregistered wrote: »

I just don't get it, she isn't even remotely attractive - I am beautiful and I really mean that, he knows he is lucky to have me.

Sorry about the hitting, I have apologised to him but he shouldn't have said what he did. Now everyone at the party is saying they don't think anything happened now, bit late for that - the damage has been done. Everyone was pissed, it was the lad's birthday, it was an all dayer so maybe things did get blown up but you can't ignore the fact he was out with her a good 30 mins and never answered his phone, then he made that comment.

You don't sound sorry as you are justifying your actions when there is no justification. As to the previous statment, I am rapidly losing any sympathy for you and gaining some for him. You really need to sit down and look at your relationship and your own attitudes as all I am seeing here is a self-destructive relationship that will only end in tears or worse!

Wibbs

Still missing the point. Where is your focus? Where should it be?

JohnGalt

Unregistered you should dump him as the trust required for a relationship has gone

LegacyUser

It is too raw to think straight.

I was wrong to react how I did, I was drunk myself and had two people come right up to me as I was having a laugh with the others, and said sorry but he was up to something with her. Now his mate and the family are all saying nothing happened and this other lad who fancied me was stirring trouble - it is a mess. Yes I agree that the other lad was going on and winding me up but my boyfriend still said it! Whether he found it to be a joke or not, it wouldn't be plucked from fresh air. Something was on his mind for him to just come out with it.

Not being a bitch but I am not surprised he couldn't get it up for her. She is scrawny and a piss head. In fact, maybe they are well suited.

fatmammycat

Unregistered wrote: »

I am not starving myself on purpose, I can't face food, I feel sick and upset. It is more than a comment, it has planted a seed of doubt and as you say, I probably will never know - she will and has denied it, her husband even said nothing happened, but he wasn't there watching them even though he was with me at the party, and she ain't gonna exactly admit it to him is she?!?

He has nothing to lose by opening up to me, he knows we are on the verge of splitting, even though I don't want that. I just want him to be honest with me and control his drinking.

I can't get the image of them out of my head, she is ugly FFS!!!!

You don't love this man so break up and do everyone a favour. People don't 'beat black and blue' the people they love. And there is nothing 'beautiful' about people who do so.

Slow Motion

Unregistered wrote: »

It is too raw to think straight.

I was wrong to react how I did, I was drunk myself and had two people come right up to me as I was having a laugh with the others, and said sorry but he was up to something with her. Now his mate and the family are all saying nothing happened and this other lad who fancied me was stirring trouble - it is a mess. Yes I agree that the other lad was going on and winding me up but my boyfriend still said it! Whether he found it to be a joke or not, it wouldn't be plucked from fresh air. Something was on his mind for him to just come out with it.

Not being a bitch but I am not surprised he couldn't get it up for her. She is scrawny and a piss head. In fact, maybe they are well suited.

I am seriously beginning to question this thread, is there any chance the OP is trolling mods?

ellie1

Unregistered wrote: »

I am not starving myself on purpose, I can't face food, I feel sick and upset. It is more than a comment, it has planted a seed of doubt and as you say, I probably will never know - she will and has denied it, her husband even said nothing happened, but he wasn't there watching them even though he was with me at the party, and she ain't gonna exactly admit it to him is she?!?

He has nothing to lose by opening up to me, he knows we are on the verge of splitting, even though I don't want that. I just want him to be honest with me and control his drinking.

I can't get the image of them out of my head, she is ugly FFS!!!!

I am shocked by your attitude. YOU BEAT YOUR BOYFRIEND and you want him to be honest and your harping on about how ugly the woman who he made a joke about is.

YOU need a reality check
YOU were well out of order.
YOU need help

SERIOUSLY i hope he runs away from you very fast

Liam Byrne

Unregistered wrote: »

I am beautiful and I really mean that, he knows he is lucky to have me.

Yup, everyone should have someone in their life that beats them black and blue..... :rolleyes:

Unregistered wrote: »

I am wondering whether I should cheat to make myself feel better, and 'even'.

"Even" for what, exactly ? You don't KNOW that he cheated and he said he hasn't. From here, the only way you could be "even" (if you were petty enough to do it) is if you were to pass a stupid sexist comment about someone else within earshot of him.

You cheating would do two things: 1) make you feel weird because for all your bravado and talk you have ABSOLUTELY NO PROOF that he cheated, so you'd then KNOW that you'd cheated; and 2) whatever about the rights and wrongs about cheating, going off with someone that you might fancy or want to go off with is COMPLETELY different than going off with someone in order to get your own back, because in that scenario you don't really want to, and would therefore be cheapening and hurting yourself*

* Mind you, this is preferable to going around beating other people black and blue

Unregistered wrote: »

I can't see them together if you get what I mean but she was upset and drunk, and he went out to comfort her and you know what alcohol and emotion does.

No, we don't; at least not to people who are in proper relationships. So fill us in - what do alcohol and emotion do ? And what do they do if you don't fancy someone at all ?

ellie1

Not being a bitch but I am not surprised he couldn't get it up for her. She is scrawny and a piss head. In fact, maybe they are well suited

You are actually being a total bitch.

LegacyUser

No I am not trolling, i just can't understand why he would choose to do that with someone like that when he has me. ESPECIALLY when I am there on the night out!

I have so many things going on in my head - why shout that out if he didn't do anything, but also did he shout it by accident cos he was so drunk and if he WAS guilty, would he remember making the comment?!

the_syco

Unregistered wrote: »

They went out for a walk because she was upset as her son (my boyfriends mate) was killed in a crash a few years ago and was due to be the anniversary. My boyfriend has known her for years and years.

Probably cheered her up with funny tales of what happened in the past.

Unregistered wrote: »

if it was a man joke

It was a man joke.

Unregistered wrote: »

I beat him black and blue.

Unregistered wrote: »

what should I do?

Get out of his life.

AARRRGH wrote: »

He should dump your psycho ass.

Agreed 100%

Unregistered wrote: »

"didn't hear his phone" when I tried calling.p

He's talking to his best mates ma when she's upset: it would have been very cold hearted to say "one sec, I gotta take this call".

Unregistered wrote: »

you know what alcohol and emotion does.

No. But it sounds like you have had past experiences with them... and in turn paint everyone with the same brush.

Wurly

Unregistered wrote: »

It is too raw to think straight.

I was wrong to react how I did, I was drunk myself and had two people come right up to me as I was having a laugh with the others, and said sorry but he was up to something with her. Now his mate and the family are all saying nothing happened and this other lad who fancied me was stirring trouble - it is a mess. Yes I agree that the other lad was going on and winding me up but my boyfriend still said it! Whether he found it to be a joke or not, it wouldn't be plucked from fresh air. Something was on his mind for him to just come out with it.

Not being a bitch but I am not surprised he couldn't get it up for her. She is scrawny and a piss head. In fact, maybe they are well suited.

You know what? It actually doesn't matter if your boyfriend cheated or not.

The simple fact is - you are too immature to be in a relationship.

Let's say he didn't cheat, right? He told a f*cking joke. Can't you take one without beating someone up? Then you talk about that other woman like that. A woman who has lost her son. An innocent woman who has done nothing to you.

You are a disgrace, really. You have ignored all of the advice in this thread and are trying to placate your behaviour by feeling sorry for yourself.

Grow up and sort your head out.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Have you hit him before? You'll no doubt do it again. Best finish it.

LegacyUser

Trí wrote: »

Then you talk about that other woman like that. A woman who has lost her son. An innocent woman who has done nothing to you.

Done nothing to me? For all I know she could have been on her knees but as he/she couldn't get it up, they decided to come back.

Two faced as well, earlier in the evening she said she would love for her other son to have a girlfriend like me as I am gorgeous.

Why am I coming across like a bitch? How exactly would you react? I am hardly going to sing their praises am I?

Wibbs

If you're not a troll then you have zero insight into your own actions. I've met people like that so it doesn't surprise me.

Answer me this, why have you not responded at all to those asking you the real questions? Which is pretty much all of the posters here.

Stheno

Unregistered wrote: »

I

He has nothing to lose by opening up to me, he knows we are on the verge of splitting, even though I don't want that. I just want him to be honest with me and control his drinking.

Sounds to me like you have issues with control, you want him to "control" his drinking, yet you have no self control when drinking, and appear to be wanting to control the relationship. If it's over then end it.

Unregistered wrote: »

Why am I coming across like a bitch?

You are coming across as a bitch as you admit with no real regret that you beat your boyfriend black and blue, when drunk, and appear to think there is no big deal about that.

Plus you are completely self absorbed with your feeling sick, not eating, and have heaped abuse on an older lady who has lost a son and who appears to have been chatting to one of his mates, who then made a silly joke.

LegacyUser

It wasn't a silly joke, it is terrible what he said - if he had said oh yeah I gave her one over a car bonnet, or something stupid like that then maybe I would let it go. But for him to say to his mate, nothing happened because he was unable to get a hard on, makes me think it could be real - he was too pissed to get it up. It makes sense.

Wurly

Unregistered wrote: »

Done nothing to me? For all I know she could have been on her knees but as he/she couldn't get it up, they decided to come back.

Two faced as well, earlier in the evening she said she would love for her other son to have a girlfriend like me as I am gorgeous.

Why am I coming across like a bitch? How exactly would you react? I am hardly going to sing their praises am I?

You have NO PROOF!!! The whole thing sounds ridiculously far fetched. I very much doubt that he cheated with this woman. The way you described her is utterly disgusting.

You sound like a very angry young woman. Please do as the other posters suggest and get some help.

We have done all we can for you in this thread. To continue posting in it would serve no purpose as you are not willing to answer questions or listen to the advice.

And to answer your question.. How exactly would I react? I'd take a look at myself and ask myself the question 'why can't i take a joke without beating my boyfriend black and blue?'.

If he actually did cheat on me, I would react by walking away.

The end.

ellie1

Seriously you are not a real person and this is not a real issue.
You are full of bull**** and if there is real people like you pretend to
be, god help humanity.

Wibbs

And again I would ask the question, why have you not responded at all to those asking you the real questions?

Wibbs

ellie1 leave the modding to the mods please. FWIW I have met people exactly like this.

AARRRGH

Unregistered, you need to try to calm down. I don't know if you're a drama queen or what, but your reaction is totally OTT and some of the stuff you're saying is quite bizarre.

The only person who is responsible for how you currently feel is you, so the sooner you take responsibility for your emotions and reactions, the sooner you'll be able to have a bit of stability in your life.

ellie1

Sorry.