Ladies, I need your help.

zuroph

The girlfriends Grandmother just died. They were very close. I'm heading to town shortly to pick up some stuff she needs for college, but i'd like to buy her a present of some sort, just something small to cheer her up or something. but I'm at a loss. Is there some gift one is meant to buy in these occasions?

Xiney

We don't normally like this forum being treated in a "help what do I buy my girlfriend" way, but given the circumstances... (don't be surprised if this gets locked though!)

I'd say don't buy her anything. Maybe a (small) bouquet of flowers. She just needs a big hug right now, and to know you care. Offer to help with any arrangements that may be necessary (ie, usher for the funeral, depending on how big it's going to be)

aoibhebree

Honestly, I don't think a present would be entirely appropriate in these circumstances. She doesn't really need "cheering up", she just needs to take a bit of time to grieve her loss, and the best thing you can do is just be there for her. And maybe treat her to something nice in a couple of weeks.

tryu

Personally speaking, I would say no presents per se - just some comfort food i.e. chocolate or whatever she likes. The best thing you can do is be there as much as poss.

zuroph

sorry, didnt even cross my mind the thread wasnt for here, my apologies, my mind is a bit all over the place today. yeah, maybe a gift is inappropriate, this is the first time i've had to do all of this so im not sure is there a tradition or anything, its not something you hear about but yeah, maybe if i left it a week or so (she's finishing a post grad this week too, so very stressful time) and got her a massage or something? poor girl

Jules

The best thing you can do for her is give her a hug and tell her that you are there for her when ever she needs you, day or night. When you are sad and feeling so uttering devastated nothing does more than a hug.

I wont lock this thread due to the circumstances, i think and would hope that others agree its not the normal stuff we get in here!

zuroph

much appreciated Jules.

Would people agree that perhaps a week down the line a massage treatment or something would be best? I'll just make myself available for the next few days and help her out as much as possible.

tatabubbly

My boyfriend did the same for me a few months ago.. all you really want is a hug and for that other person to be around..

A present isn't really the best idea.. maybe a little weekend away together in a month or two when she's got over some of her grief?

allabouteve

zuroph wrote: »

much appreciated Jules.

Would people agree that perhaps a week down the line a massage treatment or something would be best? I'll just make myself available for the next few days and help her out as much as possible.

.
I lost someone not long ago, and the last thing I would have wanted was a massage. The tears are really near the top for a long time afterwards, and any sort of contact can set off the crying, and I would have found it embarrassing to be bawling in front of a stranger. Your GF might be different though.

Do her laundry, do the grocery shopping for the week for her, do a bit of housework. You can't ease the burden of grief she's carrying, but you can take up the slack in the rest of her life while she gets on with it.

One of my friends made a point of texting me several times a day to ask how I was doing, and if I had eaten or slept properly. Little things like that made a huge difference at the time to me.

Hope that helps.

zuroph

thanks eve. I did consider that earlier, but i think she'd be alright and enjoy it. Once college is out of the way, she'll be back living with me anyway, so maybe i'll wait and make my mind up how she's doing when she's around more, and make a judgement call then.

Jules

pardon the o/t post but your sig thing confused the feck outta me!

zuroph

aha, always glad to hear it got another person!