Any Sex Tips?

TickleMyPickle

I work pretty hard so it kind of takes it's toll. In the office I can be working over 6 hours a day on the go. My wife and I used to have a good sex life but things have taken a turn for the worse as I've just no energy in bed at night.

Yesterday, I went to my GP and he prescribed me Pfizer Viagra. I was so embarrassed when he wrote the prescription that I couldn't wait to leave the clinic and get home. It said on the directions leaflet inside to "take one as required" but it doesn't specify how one should take it. So, I slipped it into my wife's glass of wine when she used the bathroom. I waited 3 hours for her to get aroused but at 2am, she fell asleep on the sofa.

The word "take" could mean so many things, it doesn't say if I/my wife should swallow, snort, smoke, inject or stick it up my anus as a suppository?
Maybe I'm supposed to crush it up into a fine powder and put it in my eyes for all I know or
maybe they mean I'm supposed to take it with me...I'll just stick it in my pocket and "take" it to bed with me as far as my knowledge on this topic extends.

Somebody please rescue me from this black-hole of ambiguity! please, I'm drowning in a sea of wordplay and misunderstandings. I'm in need of some sex tips...

4zn76tysfajdxp

Offer her money, that's a real turn on.

Odysseus

I have never had the opportunity to do this so:

In before the lock

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Do you have this problem when you take aspirin for a hangover?
... and back out again before the locK!

minxie

Should have realised the prescription was for you

TheZohanS

You're supposed to take 2 tablets with a glass of water.
If they don't work within 5 min take another 2.


Give your wife 2 maximum.

Abi

Yes, loads.

Relevant

You get the pill and put it right down your japs eye.. It will hurt at first but it is worth it

Sharpshooter

TickleMyPickle wrote: »

I work pretty hard so it kind of takes it's toll. In the office I can be working over 6 hours a day on the go. My wife and I used to have a good sex life but things have taken a turn for the worse as I've just no energy in bed at night.
Yesterday, I went to my GP and he prescribed me Pfizer Viagra. I was so embarrassed when he wrote the prescription that I couldn't wait to leave the clinic and get home. It said on the directions leaflet inside to "take one as required" but it doesn't specify how one should take it. So, I slipped it into my wife's glass of wine when she used the bathroom. I waited 3 hours for her to get aroused but at 2am, she fell asleep on the sofa.


I slipped it into my wife's glass of wine when she used the bathroom. I waited 3 hours for her to get aroused but at 2am, she fell asleep on the sofa.

The word "take" could mean so many things, it doesn't say if I/my wife should swallow, snort, smoke, inject or stick it up my anus as a suppository?
Maybe I'm supposed to crush it up into a fine powder and put it in my eyes for all I know or
maybe they mean I'm supposed to take it with me...I'll just stick it in my pocket and "take" it to bed with me as far as my knowledge on this topic extends.

Somebody please rescue me from this black-hole of ambiguity! please, I'm drowning in a sea of wordplay and misunderstandings. I'm in need of some sex tips...

Sex Tip.

Maybe if you had taken it she wouldn't have fallen asleep.

TickleMyPickle

I'm dreadin' going home tonight...last night she complained of a headache and again this morning...I hope I haven't done anything to upset her. I'll give an update later.

Relevant

She fell asleep you say? Are you sure it was viagra?

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2009/0513/1224246387806.html

TickleMyPickle

Sharpshooter wrote: »

Sex Tip.

Maybe if you had taken it she wouldn't have fallen asleep.

look..i wanted to see if it gave her some energy first before i took it but she fell asleep...

..i dont even think they work as good as an ordinary energy drink...im going to pick up some red bull on the way home

Abi

TickleMyPickle wrote: »

So, I slipped it into my wife's glass of wine when she used the bathroom.

The word "take" could mean so many things,

What this means is, you are taking it tonight. Bring the KY.

chin_grin

Obvious troll is obvious....and should've posted this in PI.

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Sharpshooter

TickleMyPickle wrote: »

look..i wanted to see if it gave her some energy first before i took it but she fell asleep...

TickleMyPickle wrote: »

I work pretty hard so it kind of takes it's toll. In the office I can be working over 6 hours a day on the go. My wife and I used to have a good sex life but things have taken a turn for the worse as I've just no energy in bed at night.

Make up your mind then,which one is it?:rolleyes:

seanybiker

swallow two of em and ya be up all night. You will also be awake all night.

zuroph

The pills obviously arent working for you, send me the rest of them.







For research purposes.

chin_grin

seanybiker wrote: »

swallow two of em and ya be up all night. You will also be awake all night.

Ha, I get it. You mean his erection. Brilliant.

TickleMyPickle

Sharpshooter wrote: »

Make up your mind then,which one is it?:rolleyes:

NO. I WANTED TO SEE IF IT HAD ANY EFFECT ENERGY WISE ON MY WIFE BEFORE I TOOK IT...I DIDN'T WANT TO TAKE IT FIRST, IT COULD OF MADE ME SICK OR SOMETHING. I JUST WANTED TO SEE BUT IT DIDNT WORK BECAUSE SHE FELL ASLEEP!

Odysseus

Iolar wrote: »

Maybe all she needs is abit of TLC my friend;)

In would appear to me that the OP has partaken of alot of THC

Saibh

Wonder why did she fall asleep :pac:

TickleMyPickle

Odysseus wrote: »

In would appear to me that the OP has partaken of alot of THC

i DO give my wife total love and care but things have just seemed a bit down lately

ejmaztec

TickleMyPickle wrote: »

NO. I WANTED TO SEE IF IT HAD ANY EFFECT ENERGY WISE ON MY WIFE BEFORE I TOOK IT...I DIDN'T WANT TO TAKE IT FIRST, IT COULD OF MADE ME SICK OR SOMETHING. I JUST WANTED TO SEE BUT IT DIDNT WORK BECAUSE SHE FELL ASLEEP!

Sure she didn't die of boredom? You better call a medic.:eek:

TickleMyPickle

ejmaztec wrote: »

Sure she didn't die of boredom? You better call a medic.:eek:

Don't be stupid. It didn't work because I just looked at the package now. They're not that strong. It says only 25mg...I'm going to give her 2 tonight. Maybe I'll take one myself.

Sharpshooter

TickleMyPickle wrote: »

Don't be stupid. It didn't work because I just looked at the package now. They're not that strong. It says only 25mg...I'm going to give her 2 tonight. Maybe I'll take one myself.

OP I think you are trolling so I have reported your thread.

Gummy Panda

TickleMyPickle wrote: »

Don't be stupid. It didn't work because I just looked at the package now. They're not that strong. It says only 25mg...I'm going to give her 2 tonight. Maybe I'll take one myself.

Sex tip: Give her more wine instead of a tablet. Drunk girls don't say no.. they say maybe

chickenhawk

Maybe you should try taking them anally.

TheZohanS

TickleMyPickle wrote: »

i DO give my wife total love and care but things have just seemed a bit down lately

Is she hot?

ejmaztec

TickleMyPickle wrote: »

Don't be stupid. It didn't work because I just looked at the package now. They're not that strong. It says only 25mg...I'm going to give her 2 tonight. Maybe I'll take one myself.

Take 2 and give her one.

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Ross_Mahon

Take it with Cyanide

seanybiker

Sharpshooter wrote: »

OP I think you are trolling so I have reported your thread.

Obviously its trolling. Its a fun thread though.

blinding

I think your wife needs a real man but you can watch and report developements here.

If your fingers get tired then take the blue pills they might help your stiff little fingers.

TickleMyPickle

guys please, im willing to do anything at this stage...

..im thinking of heading into anne summers and buying one of those fake penors. if i get my wife drunk enough, maybe i could slip it in without her knowing????????????

zuroph

TickleMyPickle wrote: »

guys please, im willing to do anything at this stage...

..im thinking of heading into anne summers and buying one of those fake penors. if i get my wife drunk enough, maybe i could slip it in without her knowing????????????

i do this. it works.

Mint Sauce

so did the shouting wake her up

Dancor

Get her to tickle your pickle

SoWatchaWant

Put your cock in her vadge mate for a change

TheZohanS

TickleMyPickle wrote: »

guys please, im willing to do anything at this stage...

..im thinking of heading into anne summers and buying one of those fake penors. if i get my wife drunk enough, maybe i could slip it in without her knowing????????????

Save your money.

If I get your wife drunk enough I'll get my penor and slip it into your wife without you knowing.

Abi

TickleMyPickle wrote: »

things have just seemed a bit down lately

That would be Dick.










Or Tom. Or Harry. Explains why she might be knackered.

Noelleieos

OP, the main problem here is that viagra is for men, not women. She's not supposed to take it.

Latchy

There is of course viagra for women to .

OP you could give the ol Horny goat weed or MACA supplements a try to .

Abi

Latchy wrote: »

There is of course viagra for women too .

OP you could give the ol Horny goat weed or MACA supplements a try to .

Get yore árse off to PI :pac:

Noelleieos

Latchy wrote: »

There is of course viagra for women to .

The one that OP was prescribed is for men, it will have no affect on his wife. Except maybe give her a headache.

Snowie

I always found suck it beautiful a good one

Evolute

TickleMyPickle wrote: »

I work pretty hard so it kind of takes it's toll. In the office I can be working over 6 hours a day on the go. My wife and I used to have a good sex life but things have taken a turn for the worse as I've just no energy in bed at night.

Yesterday, I went to my GP and he prescribed me Pfizer Viagra. I was so embarrassed when he wrote the prescription that I couldn't wait to leave the clinic and get home. It said on the directions leaflet inside to "take one as required" but it doesn't specify how one should take it. So, I slipped it into my wife's glass of wine when she used the bathroom. I waited 3 hours for her to get aroused but at 2am, she fell asleep on the sofa.

The word "take" could mean so many things, it doesn't say if I/my wife should swallow, snort, smoke, inject or stick it up my anus as a suppository?
Maybe I'm supposed to crush it up into a fine powder and put it in my eyes for all I know or
maybe they mean I'm supposed to take it with me...I'll just stick it in my pocket and "take" it to bed with me as far as my knowledge on this topic extends.

Somebody please rescue me from this black-hole of ambiguity! please, I'm drowning in a sea of wordplay and misunderstandings. I'm in need of some sex tips...

Lol your supposed to take them you putz and drugging your wife is a bad step man thats seriously not on and possibly illegal I do believe.

blinding

Latchy wrote: »

There is of course viagra for women to .

OP you could give the ol Horny goat weed or MACA supplements a try to .

I am sure that there are some local horny goats that would keep her awake or maybe its them that are making her tired.

I can't belive I am getting sucked into this.

Tea_Bag

TickleMyPickle wrote: »

I work pretty hard so it kind of takes it's toll. In the office I can be working over 6 hours a day on the go.

TickleMyPickle wrote: »

I'm going to give her 2 tonight. Maybe I'll take one myself.

maybe you need 2 or 3 and she doesnt need any. sounds like you want to energise her, even though you said earlyier that you're the down one...

Abi

Noelleieos wrote: »

The one that OP was prescribed is for men, it will have no affect on his wife. Except maybe give her a headache.

And haor. And a broken voice. And a coc.....oh thats what happened to Glenda :eek:

TickleMyPickle

just text my brother and told him the story..

his reply -

"you're too stupid to have sex, go back to the doctor and tell him you want a vasectomy"

is there no hope for me???