Inflated job titles

mikemac

Possibly I started a thread on this last year, not quite sure.

Heading home after work and stopped off at a Subway. The friendly guy had a badge "sandwich artist"
Artist?
I'd thought he was a shop assistant or deli counter server at best. He was good though, fair play

I know another guy who called himself a fuel technician. I'd imagine a fuel technician works in a laboratory, analyzes samples and works on reports and makes recommendations on batches. Probably a degree in chemistry too.
lol, this guy pumped fuel in a petrol station!

So name your most inflated job title!
In fact, do you currently have one?

galwayrush

Banker.:rolleyes:

javaboy

Domestic engineer
Sanitation technician

My own job title: Jobseeker=Bum

Gran Hermano

Mod.

just a spam-cleaner.

admiralofthefleet

fuel injection technician

(forecourt attendant)

My name is URL

Social Remedialist

me_right_one

I heard of a "nail technician" in a beauty salon. Couldnt figure out what it meant. I imagined some big stubbly pot-bellied builder with a hard-hat and a tool belt wearing lipstick!!!!!

Saibh

me_right_one wrote: »

I heard of a "nail technician" in a beauty salon. Couldnt figure out what it meant. I imagined some big stubbly pot-bellied builder with a hard-hat and a tool belt wearing lipstick!!!!!

You couldn't have describe it any better really

TheZohanS

I'd rather have a "sandwich artist" make my sambo that a "minimum wage deli worker".



Sincerely,

TheZohan

Boards.ie Communications Engineer

Unpossible

I always laugh at tree surgeon

PJaysus

bovine seman extractor = AI Man (i.e vet who comes to farm and takes seman from bull to use to impregnate cow.

ScumLord

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onZHpGYFPls

Spunk-bucket (female porn star)

Purple Gorilla

Starbucks' Barista







...ugh

CatFromHue

cheese technician
saw it on a job advert a few years ago, there is no way im qualified for a job title like that so didnt read any more of the ad

CoDy1

'Beverage Manager' = Barman

Ruu_Old

Director of First Impressions!

phasers

Every day I have an armitage shanks defecation scenario...

I think everybody can call themselves whatever they want, whatever helps them get through the day

ronnie3585

We were acting for a pub who was sued by one of it's bouncers after a fall last year. The guy constantly referred to himself as an 'admissions consultant' - tosser.

Firetrap

Admissions consultant - I love it!

I also like Waste Disposal Technician (binman)

Captain Chaos

I have a cert saying I'm a qualified Structured Cable Installation Engineer when all I do is basically the same job as a sparks but with network cables.:o

tony1kenobi

Manager = Wanker

Davidius

Student.

That's not even a job.

Lady Luck

Supermarket Checkout Operative

Delta Kilo

A chef is apparently called a culinary artist nowadays... good old euphemisms.
Like a "Lateral Promotion" - the act of taking a useless manager out of where he currently is, give him a new desk and new title; chief bottle washer inspector or something, just to get him out of the way and bring in someone more competent! Very common in Civil Service apparently.

pickarooney

I know several hairdressers who refer to themselves as Art Directors

AnonoBoy

Balloon Sculptor.

Hagar

Goderator.

hussey

http://www.mayonews.ie/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=6225&Itemid=38

is looking for "delivery experts"

bringitdown

Junior Vice President

SoupyNorman

Team Leader -


Which translates as : A role given to a little subordinate brown nose who takes on the managers '$hit work for no extra money all the while alienating themselves from the employees as they cannot be trusted and simultaneously getting no respect from management due to their lack of integrity.

Elliemental

Hand cart operatives (aka trolley wallies).

bringitdown

SoupyNorman wrote: »

Team Leader -


Which translates as : A role given to a little subordinate brown nose who takes on the managers '$hit work for no extra money all the while alienating themselves from the employees as they cannot be trusted and simultaneously getting no respect from management due to their lack of integrity.

Darn ... there goes my inflated sense of self worth.

gino85

i used to be a plate and pot reconditioning engineer

IvySlayer

Read these in the paper:

- Ambient Replenishment Assistant - Shelf stacker
- Marketing and Promotions Assistant – leaflets delivery.
- Underwater Ceramic Supervisor – Dishwashers

hal9000

Vision Clearance Executive - window cleaner
Knowledge Navigator - teacher
Education Centre Nourishment Production Assistant - dinner lady

Sleipnir

"Solutions Architect" Like....wha?

Sounds important yet extremely vague giving no indication as to what type of solutions you do, in fact, architect.

Dravokivich

Product Placement Co-ordinator...

View Profile

The bottle boy in the pub I used to work gave himself the amusing title of "Stock Rotation Manager".

Everyone's an Engineer. Or a Consultant.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

CoDy1 wrote: »

'Beverage Manager' = Barman

Lady Luck wrote: »

Supermarket Checkout Operative

Well the above two are exactly what they are... Checkout operator, and a beverage manager... Not exactly inflated.

I guess all the jobs with "technician, engineer or consultant" after them are pretty inflated. Gives a bad immage for real technicians, engineers and consultants.

Once upon a time they were great jobs to have, someone with a job like that was respected and very intelligent, a sence of worth. Now technicians paint nails, engineers plug in speakers and consultants, well they just talk through their holes and charge an arm and a leg for it. "I spent 3 years working in marketing, I think I will set up a marketing consulting company" GTFO and come back in about 20 years when you have something to talk about.

LouOB

Sec Processing Rep 4

wtf does this mean?
could someone let me know as Im meant to be doing it

Tchaikovsky

mikemac wrote: »

Possibly I started a thread on this last year, not quite sure.

Heading home after work and stopped off at a Subway. The friendly guy had a badge "sandwich artist"
Artist?

Well in fairness he probably studied Sandwich Art for 4 years in University of Bratislava.

Tchaikovsky

SoupyNorman wrote: »

Team Leader -


Which translates as : A role given to a little subordinate brown nose who takes on the managers '$hit work for no extra money all the while alienating themselves from the employees as they cannot be trusted and simultaneously getting no respect from management due to their lack of integrity.

Dwight Shreut

The Master

Job ad in the paper a few years back

Wanted Garment Technologist - in other words a sewing machine operator

SoupyNorman

SoupyNorman wrote: »

Team Leader -


Which translates as : A role given to a little subordinate brown nose who takes on the managers '$hit work for no extra money all the while alienating themselves from the employees as they cannot be trusted and simultaneously getting no respect from management due to their lack of integrity.

Dont even get me started on team leads..

Professey Chin

Half the "IT" jobs in this country are Technical Support Services Engineers
aka Call-Center Monkeys

Vision technician = window cleaner

Acacia

Visual Merchandiser= Window Dresser

Retail Consultant= Shop Worker

Recruitment Agent= not even a real job.

Unpossible

PC technician

or

PC mechanic

Read about some guy whining online having no friends and being one, or something

hussey

There is a girl in our company and her job title is "Catalyst of Magic"

Her job is some HR/PR sh*te, about innovation ....