The Age Old Question: Can men and women really stay "just friends?"

Cycalogic

Can I read your thoughts on this?

omb0wyn5ehpij9

Yes they can. I have plenty of female friends, who have only ever have been friends and only ever will be friends

rainbow kirby

Yes - my 3 closest friends are guys and nothing will ever happen there.

meditraitor

Yes

Very easily.

Cycalogic

The reason I've asked this is, when I think back on all my male friends, I think I've had a crush on a lot of them at some stage. Nothing happened, ever, between the majority of them.

And I know, that a couple of my male friends have had a crush on me, albeit short lived. Lol.

What really got me thinking was the fact that one of my closest friends. The beer and pizza guy, that I thought seen me as "one of the boys", actually told me that I'd be the only girl he'd leave his girlfriend for.

I was absolutely stunned, because we were gel tight, but there was never ever any sign of attraction on either side. We're close, but thats it.

It has really got me thinking.

Joey the lips

Yes - Given time and especially when you have kids friends work best....

My best friend and her husband broke up they have more sex now then when they were married!!! Go figure????

She reckons its because they dont argue. Additionally she like the nsa issue. She gets to have friends and have a buddy.

My wife told me she's kicking me out when I am 40..... Cant wait.

onemorechance

I think that if a straight guy and girl are good friends, then at least one of them will be attracted to the other.

omb0wyn5ehpij9

onemorechance wrote: »

I think that if a straight guy and girl are good friends, then at least one of them will be attracted to the other.

I don't agree with that at all, but maybe i'm just being naive!

Dudess

Yes if there's no physical attraction there. One of my best friends is hetero and male but I couldn't sleep with him - nothing wrong with how he looks or anything, it would just be too, too weird.

On the other hand, I have another male hetero friend, and if I could... I would! Oh god how I would!

Snowie

yes...

former relationship

Not a chance...

thesoad

I don't think so, as I have two ex girlfriends who, while I still talk to on occassion, don't seem interested in any apparent friendship.

This is despite the fact that I got on really well with both of them, we were very close for our time together and they both implied that a continued friendship would be a good idea.

I have no problem with hanging out with them now, there weren't any bad break ups and I dunno what it is, but both seem to have taken a similar attitude after the respective relationships.

Maybe I smell *sniffs armpits - makes face*

omb0wyn5ehpij9

thesoad wrote: »

I don't think so, as I have two ex girlfriends who, while I still talk to on occassion, don't seem interested in any apparent friendship.

This is despite the fact that I got on really well with both of them, we were very close for our time together and they both implied that a continued friendship would be a good idea.

I have no problem with hanging out with them now, there weren't any bad break ups and I dunno what it is, but both seem to have taken a similar attitude after the respective relationships.

Maybe I smell *sniffs armpits - makes face*

Friendships with ex's are totally different.

The reason your ex's probably don't want to be friends with you is because it is awkward for them. Even if they have no feelings for you, i'm sure it would still be weird for them to be friends with you while you are seeing somebody new and they are seeing somebody new

Dudess

Agreed. I don't think it's impossible for exes to be friends but it's rare, and even more rarely unclouded by baggage.

minidazzler

I am friends with alot of girls. Just friends. Even though I find alot of them attractive and would technically be perfect girlfriend material. The Dynamic of my relationship with them means I will never be with any of them.


The Dynamic is, some of them have assumed I am gay, and while I have corrected them that i am not, some of my best friends have taken the liberty to tell them I actually am. So they now assume I am.


But I am content with the relationship I share with them. Some of which are extremely close, but I know I will never ask any of them out. Because I got caught in the Friend Zone, and I don't really mind that.


So, ya, Guys and Doll's can be just friends, but in my experience their is usually some attraction from one side at least.

ciagr297

hmmm, i used to think so but now i don't.

i guess it depends on the dynamics of each relationship. i can say that there are a few of my male friends who basically act like my brothers. i've known them a long long time but i'd consider them more in the brotherly sense than friend category anyway

however, the ones i don't consider brothers, i notice i have a certain amount of distance from, in a good way.

dudess - i hear ya - there are one or two of the guys i absolutely would

Wibbs

Exes no. Just no. That would be long term exes now. Women I've slept with, but we didn't gel beyond that initial "what if", I've remained mates with. Some good ones too. There are also women mates that I just didn't fancy and they didn't fancy me. Good mates too.

God yeah. Most of my friends of guys and I've never seen them as anything but friends.

helimachoptor

Yep its entirely possible, however I have ventured into the relationship/f**k buddy domain with some of them, some ended badly and the friendship ended also but some ended mutually and we are still friends.

O'Coonassa

Only if they're both ugly

mac_attack

Yes if you are not attracted to the friend.

allabouteve

If there's absolutely no mutual or one sided attraction, then men and women can be friends.

I've seen the situation where one party secretly harbours feelings and it only ever ends in bad feeling, though luckily not in my own life.

Faith

I'd like to say yes, but I'm not sure I can. In my experience, people answering this question forget that they can never truly know anyone else's feelings. You might not fancy someone, but they could be completely, secretly in love with you.

I can only think of one male friend off-hand who I'd consider completely platonic. Of all my other male friends, I've either fancied them at one stage, or they've confessed feelings for me. It might be in the past, but I'm not sure they could be described as completely platonic.

Weidii

The majority of my friends are guys, but I learned at an early age not to mess up good friendships by letting your lusty hormones do their thing. It is possible to be just friends with guys, I have many of them, however the more (physically or otherwise) attractive ones can take a bit of effort sometimes.

idontknowmyname

Yep!

Rhyme

Yes, most certainly.

As for ex's, only if both sides feel that they want a friendship. Things can get awkward, weird and/or unsettling otherwise. Letting it hang between the two sides leads to the first, jumping into the friendship headfirst can lead to the third. The second just happens.

Novella

Of course they can. Some of my better friends are guys and will never be anything more than friends.

Crumble Froo

yep, for sure.

as for exes, one of mine, if i'd not moved, i think we coulda easily stayed mates, we'd been mates for longer than we'd ever been a couple. but the others, *shudders* no. im still pissed off that i still get spam 'join me at xxxxxxx.com' emails from one ex, let alone even having to see him. and my fella seems to be able to be friends with his kid's mother, but apparently that's taken about 16 years to come round to.

nomorebadtown

Lia_lia wrote: »

God yeah. Most of my friends of guys and I've never seen them as anything but friends.

but chances are quite a few of them see you as a potential sex partner and remain friends with you on the off chance they will get to sleep with you at some stage. to the women here who have loads of guy friends, i would say the same

Faith wrote: »

I'd like to say yes, but I'm not sure I can. In my experience, people answering this question forget that they can never truly know anyone else's feelings

bingo

ciagr297

nomorebadtown wrote: »

but chances are quite a few of them see you as a potential sex partner and remain friends with you on the off chance they will get to sleep with you at some stage. to the women here who have loads of guy friends, i would say the same

bingo

now this is more like the answer i expected

kevmy

I definitely say yes.

I have at least 3 or 4 female friends which are just that. I don't fancy them and they don't fancy me. If there is no attraction on both sides then it's simple.

Having said that I recently found out one of my other friends has fancied me for ages (despite being in a relationship for years). And she's hot too. If we were both single and had met before we were friends something would possibly have happened.

The_Kew_Tour

Yes I have 2 friends who are female that i would consider very close friends

Kya1976

I do think it's possible. I have mostly male mates, but I always find there's different dynamics with male mates than with my female friends.
I think you can stay mates with your ex too, but depends on why you broke up of course.

sam34

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

yes...

former relationship

Not a chance...

i disagree.

one of my closest friends is an ex of mine, we were together for 4 years. there is no attraction between us anymore, just healthy respect and genuine friendship.

TheInquisitor

Brain says yes... Penis and drink say no!!

Polleta

Yes they can but at some stage both people in the friendship will question whether or not they fancy the other.

I have male friends who I totally don't fancy and I'm pretty sure they don't fancy!

smcgui

I would generally say that yes it is possible to have a completely platonic male friend...however my current boyfriend was my platonic best friend...so slightly hypocritical!:p However two of my closest friends are male and are honestly platonic!:D So basically as long as everyone is completely honest then yes it is possible.

CoachBoone

In my experience its possible for girls to just be friends with lads but not vice versa.

Latchy

Yes they can but females will be careful what they say to any male ' friends ' for fear he might spill it out to other 'female friends .;)

I have many female friends and while I dont see them every day or week ,we still talk about stuff when we meet up but nothing to deep .

pow wow

I dunno. I've thought of all my male friends naked at some point. The ones I'm still just friends with are the ones where the visions horrified me :eek:

GirlInterrupted

It depends on the man and the woman.

I've male friends that I've perfectly platonic relationships with, but there were others that didn't work out.

Snowie

sam34 wrote: »

i disagree.

one of my closest friends is an ex of mine, we were together for 4 years. there is no attraction between us anymore, just healthy respect and genuine friendship.

I'm not dissmising it, there will of course be people like who it works but i think for the majority of people it don't........
My self and my x did try but to be honest we have nothing in common
shes likes paramore and wwf I like snowboarding and underworld the only thing we ever had in common was sex.

Ickle Magoo

Cycalogic wrote: »

Can men and women really stay "just friends"?

Of course.

I have male friends I don't find attractive and I know some feel the same way about me. I don't think the fact we are of opposite genders automatically makes us willing participants in a relationship or sexual encounter. There have even been men I'm attracted to and are attracted to me and we've still managed to just stay friends. I guess it depends on a mixture of motivation and self-control.

Piste

smcgui wrote: »

I would generally say that yes it is possible to have a completely platonic male friend...however my current boyfriend was my platonic best friend...so slightly hypocritical!:p However two of my closest friends are male and are honestly platonic!:D So basically as long as everyone is completely honest then yes it is possible.

Wow thi is exactly what I was going to post!

Dublin_Andy

it is possible just to stay friends...

but even if there is no attraction between friends initially, love can grow...

and also sex can be a fatal weakness for some people