Being nice to your GF/BF... chore or not?

Mr Benevolent

Just been talking to a girl here in work. Apparently her boyfriend has told her to buy nicer clothes, glasses and lose weight. For context she's a size 12 and reasonably attractive (and also training to be a massage therapist). As well as all that, she has to work 2 jobs to pay half of (his) mortgage, and he's just bought her a '99 Golf with electrical and fuel problems.

How in the name of fook can her BF justify saying these things to her without ending up on the wrong end of a shotgun?

So who's been a twat to their OH and learned their lesson? Who hasn't? What made you rethink your twattery? And what you you think about my poor colleague's BF?

(No, this ain't a PI)

Latchy

Eh..Eh...

Think I'll pass this one

smileysurfer

Your colleague should tell her BF to take a running jump imo :eek:

BaconZombie

The Ricky Lake Show is THAT WAY ====>

Gone Drinking

Hey, lets be honest.. a size 12 isn't exactly tiny, is it?

*waits to be knifed*

Puddleduck

*Knifes Gone drinking* Now that messy buisness is over with, yes, she should tell him to take a long walk.

No, I think most people are generally nice to their other halfs...thats why they still have them

BadCharlie

Well peoples weight can always change, go up and down from time to time. My wife has lost weight and i have gained weight. To be honest i dont think i ever said anything about her weight. But she was always on about her own weight. Then one day she did something about it and started to go for long walks.

He might be just out of work? hard on his luck dont know the full picture. As long as his trying to do something about it then i would give him time.

Telling someone to change their image is prob another matter. Kind of sounds like his just not happy with the way she looks. And maybe is more concerned about how she looks, to make him self feel happy.

Maybe just not happy in the relationship and hopes it would be better if the other person would change. And not looking at him self.

Mr Benevolent

*waits to be knifed*

Hope you don't mind me knifing you again a few times :rolleyes:

I find people who need skinny partners hilarious - have they realised that they can't have an orgasm just by looking at 'em?

Vain

Ah the classic case of the love, hate relationship.

*Sits back and smokes pipe while judging

Zadkiel

BadCharlie wrote: »

Well peoples weight can always change, go up and down from time to time. My wife has lost weight and i have gained weight. To be honest i dont think i ever said anything about her weight. But she was always on about her own weight. Then one day she did something about it and started to go for long walks.

He might be just out of work? hard on his luck dont know the full picture. As long as his trying to do something about it then i would give him time.

Telling someone to change their image is prob another matter. Kind of sounds like his just not happy with the way she looks. And maybe is more concerned about how she looks, to make him self feel happy.

Maybe just not happy in the relationship and hopes it would be better if the other person would change. And not looking at him self.

All of which still makes him a ****

dyl10

You've only heard one side of the story and as we all know, our OHs can have selective hearing from time to time.

Don't judge people purely from someone else opinion

As a side note, if someone has put on weight and it's a big issue for their partner, it's better that the partner mentions it than keep it inside and allow it develop into a bigger problem.

Mr Benevolent

Don't judge people purely from someone else opinion

Are you serious? This is AH!

My name is URL

His penis must be huge

dyl10

Confab wrote: »

Are you serious? This is AH!

Damn, I've missed the door for personal issues again! :pac:

Zadkiel

Confab wrote: »

have they realised that they can't have an orgasm just by looking at 'em?

Came close once ('scuse the pun) lookin at Monica Bellucci in some movie or other, when I was much younger ofc...

Back on topic, wouldnt normally comment on an OH's weight. He sounds like a control freak tbh, should probably look at himself before trying to redesign his missus.

Pimp my ride spin off maybe...

Lobelia Overhill

Confab wrote: »

Just been talking to a girl here in work. Apparently her boyfriend has told her to buy nicer clothes, glasses and lose weight.

If he wants a GF who wears nicer clothes, glasses and is thinner, then go find a woman who answers that description

Stepford is >>> that way

Mr.Lizard

She's gotta dump that zero and get herself a hero! mm-huh. *finger clicking motion*

me-skywalker

Confab wrote: »

Just been talking to a girl here in work. Apparently her boyfriend has told her to buy nicer clothes, glasses and lose weight. For context she's a size 12 and reasonably attractive (and also training to be a massage therapist). As well as all that, she has to work 2 jobs to pay half of (his) mortgage, and he's just bought her a '99 Golf with electrical and fuel problems.

How in the name of fook can her BF justify saying these things to her without ending up on the wrong end of a shotgun?

So who's been a twat to their OH and learned their lesson? Who hasn't? What made you rethink your twattery? And what you you think about my poor colleague's BF?

(No, this ain't a PI)

hey i heard her tell that story too im sitting across from you!! go back to work ya punk!

Wurly

He's not the twat. She's the twat if she's still calling him her boyfriend after that.

Mr.Lizard

Confab wrote: »

Just been talking to a girl here in work. Apparently her boyfriend has told her to buy nicer clothes, glasses and lose weight. For context she's a size 12 and reasonably attractive (and also training to be a massage therapist). As well as all that, she has to work 2 jobs to pay half of (his) mortgage, and he's just bought her a '99 Golf with electrical and fuel problems.

How in the name of fook can her BF justify saying these things to her without ending up on the wrong end of a shotgun?

So who's been a twat to their OH and learned their lesson? Who hasn't? What made you rethink your twattery? And what you you think about my poor colleague's BF?

(No, this ain't a PI)

Fair play to him. He's just telling it how it is. That said tho I'll admit he was wrong to tell her to get new glasses. Enforced lasik is a much better suggestion.

dyl10

Trí wrote: »

He's not the twat. She's the twat if she's still calling him her boyfriend after that.

:eek:

veryangryman

Regarding the subject title itself, being nice should not be a chore - not if you actually like the other person. It should be rewarding to see them smile at your good deed

Wurly

dyl10 wrote: »

:eek:

Err...

Millie

Mr.Lizard wrote: »

She's gotta dump that zero and get herself a hero! mm-huh. *finger clicking motion*

muppetkiller

I think it's pretty obvious you fancy her so leave them alone you home wrecker !!!!

Latchy

I think the thread title is daft .Like being nice to your GF , chore or not ? Not going to do your relationship much good if you have to think about it to much .

Mr Benevolent

I think the thread title is daft

+1.

dyl10

veryangryman wrote: »

Regarding the subject title itself, being nice should not be a chore - not if you actually like the other person. It should be rewarding to see them smile at your good deed

You must be one selfless bastard...

Acacia

How is being nice to the person you love a chore?

Lil' Smiler

Yer one must know herself that something is wrong if she's told you that.

Don't really get how the title is related.. I just see it as the boyfriend being a bit of a pr*ck. Being nice isn't a chore for me, I'd rather be nice than narky to my OH as he gets pretty pissed if I'm whinging about this and that and doesn't enjoy being around me then. I enjoy buying him presents etc coz I get to see the look on his face when he gets them and is happy or the response I get when I send him a nice text first thing in the morning.

Also... I'm a massage therapist too

starflake

Maybe her boyfriend is gay!? Don't think many men give a shiz what women wear?! is it not whats under it that matters?? If he knows that her glasses are outdated then I wonder.... Her boyfriend sounds gay, She sounds like she's leaving out half of the story and the OP needs to ask her out!

Lil' Smiler

Maybe she has Deirdre Barlow glasses.... then it's ok to tell to change them!!

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ieqsyxnYlNo/SIeJK0hD4eI/AAAAAAAACSw/58Aig1dMzd8/s320/Deirdre%2BBarlow%2Bspecs%2Byoung.jpg

OldGoat

starflake wrote: »

Don't think many men give a shiz what women wear?!

So untrue. There is not one man here who hasn't got a mental image of EXACTLY how he wants his partner to dress.

faceman

He did by her a car to be fair.

veryangryman

dyl10 wrote: »

You must be one selfless bastard...

Selfless maybe
Bastard no

Incidentally, I take offence to that comment. Dont take out your frustrations on me

allabouteve

starflake wrote: »

Don't think many men give a shiz what women wear?!

Don't think you're right about that one.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

He was right to tell her to lose weight and get some nice clothes... Just because they are now going out doesn't mean she or he can let things slip. Get fat and wear you grannies clothes, get dumped and then wounder "why? What did I do wrong"... pfft... women... :rolleyes:

Cuddlesworth

OldGoat wrote: »

So untrue. There is not one man here who hasn't got a mental image of EXACTLY how he wants his partner to dress.

Damm straight. Nothing on all the time. Stupid clothes getting the way of cuddles.

Snowie

starflake wrote: »

Maybe her boyfriend is gay!? Don't think many men give a shiz what women wear?! is it not whats under it that matters?? If he knows that her glasses are outdated then I wonder.... Her boyfriend sounds gay, She sounds like she's leaving out half of the story and the OP needs to ask her out!

As a bloke I do like women to be able to present them selves...:rolleyes:...

as long as she does'nt wear Pjs in town or down to the shops im happy :pac:

Professey Chin

OldGoat wrote: »

So untrue. There is not one man here who hasn't got a mental image of EXACTLY how he wants his partner to dress.

What had that thread recently. I believe we all want them dressed like classy tasteful sluts if I understood how the thread went

Snowie

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

What had that thread recently. I believe we all want them dressed like classy tasteful sluts if I understood how the thread went

nah man i want them dressed well classy so then that mean there going to be filthy in the bedroom or the car or the dark corner of a club, toilet's... you know your self

OldGoat

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

What had that thread recently. I believe we all want them dressed like classy tasteful sluts if I understood how the thread went

You mean I missed a whole thread on this topic? :eek:

/Shakes Fist...
Damn you Holidays, Damn you all to Hell!

johnny_knoxvile

She should exact revenge by growing a massive BEARD!

...yeah, beard rash would sort him out, give him a taste of his own medicine!:rolleyes:

Abi

Confab wrote: »

Just been talking to a girl here in work. Apparently her boyfriend has told her to buy nicer clothes, glasses and lose weight. For context she's a size 12 and reasonably attractive (and also training to be a massage therapist). As well as all that, she has to work 2 jobs to pay half of (his) mortgage, and he's just bought her a '99 Golf with electrical and fuel problems.

How in the name of fook can her BF justify saying these things to her without ending up on the wrong end of a shotgun?

So who's been a twat to their OH and learned their lesson? Who hasn't? What made you rethink your twattery? And what you you think about my poor colleague's BF?

(No, this ain't a PI)

Chore.

Theres no fun in being all sweetness and light.

Novella

She should dump him just for buying her a **** '99 car. Cheap bastard!

JohnCleary

If someone like her BF is even telling that to her, she probably well needs to tidy herself up - Sure who's going to be as honest to you as your OH?






:pac:

S.I.R

Being nice isnt difficult... manners are free etc... but i guess some people are destined to not like each other...


Imo: either your nice or not... dont pretend.

Abi

S.I.R wrote: »

but i guess some people are destined to not like each other...

Not true imo. Just as each individual has a personality type, a couple creates their own.

I wouldnt call a bloke fat. Id have a go at his clothes though. Poking fun at each other is a laugh. I never lose..

Imo: either your nice or not... dont pretend.

This I agree with.

JuJuBean

If he loves her and wants to make her happy he shouldn't be criticising her body...love is about accepting the other the way they are. If you can't accept the way they are look elsewhere and be honest rather than making yourself or them miserable trying to change them.

Anyway IMO size twelve is slim, so I don't see why he'd be telling her to lose weight unless he possibly wanted to diminish her confidence. Sounds like he is possibly a bit manipulative. Wants to make her feel she is not good enough the way she is so that she'll feel she can't do any better than him. I have seen this tactic a few times and sadly it often works.:(

craggles

Here it's fairly simple, there's nothing worse than getting with a girl and as soon as she feels comfortable after several months she'll put on like 4 stone and not give a **** about her appearance. Same goes for men who don't give a **** once they're comfortable. This is a very bad thing, and honesty is the best policy. If your bird gets fat, tell her! There's no point in lying

Lilyblue

She probably asked him his opinion on how she looks and he gave her an honest answer...