Younger Man

Volvoboy

There i was trying to do my job, picked up 4 wimmen heading to O'Shay's Merchant two Saturdays back, were a bit tipsy started chatting away and she started the flirtin' saying ''Do you go for the younger or older wimmen?''

Didnt give my personal prefrence, as the four of them were babbling but she got a nice shock when i was the same age as her Daughter.:pac:

So got me thinking whats an accpeptable age of a man for a woman to go out with??

BTW the lady in question was 48.

minidazzler

Any age where both feel comfortable with the Relationship.

This has been done to death, but for me it would be, Older woman I would only go out with for ... because I am only 19 and obviously I wouldn't be thrilled with Marriage at this age. (Unless she is rich ) I don't think I could have a real proper relationship with a woman for at least the next 3 years. But that's just me.

1/2 (x) + 7 works best though. Where x is the age of the younger person.

Snowie

id never ever go out with a woman older then 40 my old man or mum would not approve at all former friends of the fammilly had a son who did that i bring it up at the table are fammilly have really liberal conversations at the table... and he/she takes the piss something serous. i had a bit of fun with an older lady but relationship i think would be straining in a few ways

kraggy

minidazzler wrote: »

Any age where both feel comfortable with the Relationship.

This has been done to death, but for me it would be, Older woman I would only go out with for ... because I am only 19 and obviously I wouldn't be thrilled with Marriage at this age. (Unless she is rich ) I don't think I could have a real proper relationship with a woman for at least the next 3 years. But that's just me.

1/2 (x) + 7 works best though. Where x is the age of the younger person.

Don't you mean x = age of the older person?

I don't think there can be strict rules regarding age of partners/potential partners.

Sounds obvious but if the two people are happy, then age doesn't matter one bit.

CathyMoran

I married a younger man, but only by 7 weeks...I have dated guys about 2 years younger max but do not think that I would have gone much younger unless I really liked them...I think that a lot of people have an idea of who they will end up with and their life partner turns out to be different, age would be one of those areas where you need to forget the rule book.

petes

I went out with a girl who told me she was 37 as a joke expecting me to be shocked (she is 32). I'm 28. Wasn't shocked in the slightest. If I like someone feck it!

Acacia

Well, there is no rule for falling in love/ attraction, etc. Two consensual adults can do whatever they like, tbh. If she's sixty and he's twenty, so be it. You can't choose who you fall in love with. I have to say I've rarely seen a younger man with an older woman in day-to-day life, though. There's still a bit of a double standard about it, if you ask me.

Dudess

Volvoboy wrote: »

So got me thinking whats an accpeptable age of a man for a woman to go out with??

Any? Once she likes him, he likes her, who gives a hoot what ages they are? I don't like this going down the road of what's "acceptable" or not (not having a go at you Volvoboy, but just in general).
It also pisses me off how a woman going out with a younger man, even an age gap as little as three years, is commented upon, when it would take an age gap of at least 15 years to cause raised eyebrows if the genders were reversed.

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

id never ever go out with a woman older then 40 my old man or mum would not approve at all former friends of the fammilly had a son who did that i bring it up at the table are fammilly have really liberal conversations at the table... and he/she takes the piss something serous. i had a bit of fun with an older lady but relationship i think would be straining in a few ways

Never say never though... You can't help who you fall for and a person's family should respect that. It's not as if you're a young kid either - aren't you mid to late 20s?

I agree though, a really big age gap can be fraught with certain concerns (e.g. fertility, differing stages in life etc).

Lobelia Overhill

I try and avoid any fella young enough to be my son!

allabouteve

I'm 31 and have no sexual interest in younger men.

But..if I did, I'm certain there would be gossip about it if the gap was an obvious one, say 8-10 years. I'm certain that there wouldn't be gossip about the opposite, because I was with an older man in the past and it was never remarked on.

There's a total double standard with age difference, for both involved.
An older man with a younger woman is a stud, she might get called a golddigger if he's rich, but most likely she won't be judged.
An older woman with a younger man is a pathetic creature trying to recapture lost youth, he's a gigolo.

John Mason

i love my younger man

Silverfish

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

i love my younger man

Same, not your younger man, but my younger man.

I certainly haven't noticed if people are gossiping about it, but they can feck off if they are.

Nevyn

There is a lot to be said for the openmindedness and stamina of youth.

northern lights

My husband is 8 years younger than me and there's nothing obvious about it at all. I'm 42 and he's 34 and nobody (that doesn't already know) has ever guessed that there's an age difference.

Yes, I look after myself and I've been blessed with good genes re the ageing process and I supppose the fact that he has greying hair, and skin that's been aged by the sun, kind of balances us out in the appearance stakes .

Whether or not that's the case when I'm 50 and he's 42 who knows! but the bottom line is that the age difference doesn't matter a jot to either of us.
Personality wise and in the sense of humour stakes we're both singing from the same hymn sheet and that's the glue that keeps us together not what we look like on the outside.

Love him to bits

MadgeBadge

I kissed an 18 year old (I'm almost 25) a few weeks ago. I had a few on, he looked older, and he told me he was in college.

I was pretty horrified when he later told me his age, and I found out he lied and is actually still in school.

He needs permission to go to the loo during the day, oh god!

minidazzler

Madge, I just mentally Hi-5ed that dude!!! That's brilliant, asking to go to toilet

Dublin_Andy

well i havent been out with a girl my own age since i was 17... i went out with a 30 year old scottish lass when i was 18... when i was 20 went out with a woman of 32...

its no problem really. you can have the same laughs as with someone your own age...if your attracted to them and there are mutual feelings with one another thats all that matters...

age is just a number....and a bit of experience never hurt anyone

im kinda getting sick of the toyboy image though lol

ball

When I was 18 I told a girl I was 20.
She told me she was 23.

The next night I met her, I told her I was only 18.
She told me she was really 25

Dublin_Andy

ball wrote: »

When I was 18 I told a girl I was 20.
She told me she was 23.

The next night I met her, I told her I was only 18.
She told me she was really 25

now thats ironic

Kya1976

Thaedydal wrote: »

There is a lot to be said for the openmindedness and stamina of youth.

+1

MadgeBadge

minidazzler wrote: »

Madge, I just mentally Hi-5ed that dude!!! That's brilliant, asking to go to toilet

No need, my suspicion was aroused when a number of younger looking gentlemen approached the table to do just that.

AbitDramatic

what about dating older men? Im currently dating a man 17 years my senior, as a couple we are great and function normally. But at first people act quite shocked and think hes a cradle snatcher.

MJOR

i've been out with a few older men.... never really dated younger ones though... my OH is 2 yrs older than me which doesn't qualify as an age gap.. the biggest one ever was 11 yrs

Jules

ive been either side of the coin, much older and well no tmuch younger, but younger! Anti is 3 years younger physically but now when ya ask the mental age number im afraid id probably end up in prison!

Snowie

Dudess wrote: »

Never say never though... You can't help who you fall for and a person's family should respect that. It's not as if you're a young kid either - aren't you mid to late 20s?

I agree though, a really big age gap can be fraught with certain concerns (e.g. fertility, differing stages in life etc).

Thats why I said never :pac: ...

seriously tho. I'm 27 years of age, Oh they respect it and be happy for me but i dont think theyd approve but im going to spend some time with them so il ask them plus it should make an interesting dinner table topic ...

As you all ready pointed out which would be a concern of mine, I fall for a 41 year old lady shes going to be 13 years older then me which is'nt a lot tho there's the chances that she may not be able to have kids any more Hey I may not be able to contribute to making kids and fatherhood being one thing in the future, I would like to experience but in respects i guess love is another experience to ...

But the thing is I dont think I'd attract and older irish woman, I don't own a pair of shoes, I dont own a shirt i dont even have a suit .... I've never needed one as my life style has not lead me to that position, Id expect most older ladys to like the more well dressed younger man and not a 27 year old skater, Older lady's feel free to prove me wrong tho... Granted Older women are as hot as hell and some of them Id happily volunteer my self as their personal play thing... But nothing serous i guess my age limit would be 35 which i think is fair..:).

Joey the lips

In writing maturity is measured by what you say not how you say it, Intellignece is measured by how you say it. I imagine there is a lot of men and women who make connections on this forum and potentially there could be a 40 year age gap.

I think when you connect on a level far above looks and stereo types you have found a soul mate. I think if you connect with someone older or younger it does not show your a cradle snatcher or toyboy seeker but you had the ability to reach out beyond the limits set by society and see a better person

Not bad if he's a fine bit of stuff as well

Hagar

A mate of mine married a woman significantly older than him. Aside from a few raised eybrows and a bit of slagging at the time all was well. Now he's 54 and she's 67 and looks it.

Piste

I'm a girl, 18, at the moment I wouldn't go out with anyone younger than me, or even my age. I've always been into guys at least a year or two older than me. Dunno why, it's not a maturity thing, it's just something I've found. Maybe they're more interesting or something.

Silverfish

Hagar wrote: »

A mate of mine married a woman significantly older than him. Aside from a few raised eybrows and a bit of slagging at the time all was well. Now he's 54 and she's 67 and looks it.

But are they happy?

I mean grand, she's 67 and 'looks it' but maybe there's more to a relationship than looks.

Hagar

Granted, they are happy, so he says, but she is going down hill rapidly and he is still a relatively young man. It's like a mother and son. It just seems so inappropriate.

Silverfish

Hagar wrote: »

Granted, they are happy, so he says, but she is going down hill rapidly and he is still a relatively young man. It's like a mother and son. It just seems so inappropriate.

So let's say if he was 67 and she was 54, it would be just as bad?

So I'm 20. . and I really can't imagine myself going out with someone younger than me right now. . Maybe in a few years time. .

I was with someone 7 years my senior. . had no problem with that. . As clearly men never grow up. . so he was on the same page as me. .

I do have a friend who is 21 and her boyfriend is 33. . that I would not be able to do . . but they love each other. . so what does it matter. . you really can't control who you fall for.

Kinetic^

Silverfish wrote: »

So let's say if he was 67 and she was 54, it would be just as bad?

Take 1 year of his age and you've got my parents, well the age difference anyway. Good man youself dad!!

Silverfish

Kinetic^ wrote: »

Take 1 year of his age and you've got my parents, well the age difference anyway. Good man youself dad!!

I think you're missing the point.

What if the ages were reversed?

orestes

Thaedydal wrote: »

There is a lot to be said for the openmindedness and stamina of youth.

And for the confidence and experience of a few extra years.

Kinetic^

Silverfish wrote: »

I think you're missing the point.

What if the ages were reversed?

Happiness > age.

Hagar

Silverfish wrote: »

So let's say if he was 67 and she was 54, it would be just as bad?

It would. It's just a weird situation. They are both lovely people, just mismatched, they are almost a generation apart.

Silverfish

Hagar wrote: »

It would. It's just a weird situation. They are both lovely people, just mismatched, they are almost a generation apart.

So they're both lovely people, love each other, and are happy (according to them) ... they don't sound mismatched (admittedly limited info but still).

Is it just cos she's losing her looks?
That's very shallow.



I mean, lets just say one of a couple was injured somehow and was mildly disfigured, is that when love goes out the window, and their relationship becomes inappropriate because one of them is now not as nice looking as they were?

I mean, I assume I'd still love my oh right up to and including a horrific boiling oil incident, but I suppose that's me. I don't go by looks alone, because looks fade. I'd hate to think people were sneering behind my back for staying with someone in this situation.

Snowie

Deleted User wrote: »

So I'm 20. . and I really can't imagine myself going out with someone younger than me right now. . Maybe in a few years time. .

I was with someone 7 years my senior. . had no problem with that. . As clearly men never grow up. . so he was on the same page as me. .

I do have a friend who is 21 and her boyfriend is 33. . that I would not be able to do . . but they love each other. . so what does it matter. . you really can't control who you fall for.

I dont think i could date soem one whos 21 and im 33 id feel selfish id be looking to setlle i presume and shes got her hole life ahead of her travelling seeing the world, partying, living discovering things, i find it almost strange...

Your 20 wait till you become 33 and your suddenly you need a man with stamina :D

Hagar

Silverfish wrote: »

So they're both lovely people, love each other, and are happy (according to them) ... they don't sound mismatched (admittedly limited info but still).

Is it just cos she's losing her looks?
That's very shallow.

I mean, lets just say one of a couple was injured somehow and was mildly disfigured, is that when love goes out the window, and their relationship becomes inappropriate because one of them is now not as nice looking as they were?

I mean, I assume I'd still love my oh right up to and including a horrific boiling oil incident, but I suppose that's me. I don't go by looks alone, because looks fade. I'd hate to think people were sneering behind my back for staying with someone in this situation.

For a start I'm nor sneering at these people behind their backs, I resent that implication. As I said they are lovely people I have known her all my life and him for about 32 years. They are good friends.

I'm not talking about her looks, I can see how you might have thought I was from my previous post, I'm talking about her as a person. Different people age at different rates. Some people are very sprightly and independent into their seventies and eighties. Not so in this case. She is not anything like she was just 5 years ago. She has deteriorated rapidly and is now jus a frail handful of a woman who needs minding. Without doubt that is her husband's duty and he does it willingly. They are still very much in love. He would be lost without her and she without him.

The issue is the practical aspect of marrying someone of a different age group, someone almost from another generation. His role in marriage has changed radically from partner and lover to full time nurse and carer. Yes this can happen through illness but this is not illness, it was entirely predicatable and will probably happen in all similar marriages.

An age gap isn't all that important when you are both young and in your prime but it is important when one partner crosses into old age long before the other. It is something that must be considered. Our natural instinct is to pair-up with someone of our own age group, pairing-up with someone much older is not the norm. Growing old together is fine, watching your spouse growing old in front of your eyes, as she is, is not.

Silverfish

Hagar wrote: »

For a start I'm nor sneering at these people behind their backs, I resent that implication. As I said they are lovely people I have known her all my life and him for about 32 years.

Oh no, I didn't mean you personally were sneering, I meant in general terms.
If it's as bad as you say (and your post there clarifies it is) then some people are bound to.

Apologies.

Hagar

No apology needed, perhaps I'm being oversensitive, and you're right some people do laugh at them. It's just mean.

LittleEve

Deleted User wrote: »

So I'm 20. . and I really can't imagine myself going out with someone younger than me right now. . Maybe in a few years time. .

I was with someone 7 years my senior. . had no problem with that. . As clearly men never grow up. . so he was on the same page as me. .

I do have a friend who is 21 and her boyfriend is 33. . that I would not be able to do . . but they love each other. . so what does it matter. . you really can't control who you fall for.

My friends and I are 22/23. One of them is dating a 19 year old, the other a 32 year old. You would never think there was much between the 2 guys, they're very similar. I have dated someone 7 years older and another a year younger, all depends on the person. You're right in saying you cant control who you fall in love with :rolleyes:

Elle Victorine

I don't know about this one it's a toughy. I would prefer a man my own age but that said I can't say I'd say no to an older man either if their personality was alrigth so I don't think I could put a limitation on an older woman for a younger man.

ciagr297

for me, i tend to date older guys. my last boyf was 7 years older (i'm 28)

i guess its an assumption(on my part) that older guys are more likely to have pulled it together a small bit and got a clue

but i have been proven wrong on that before

i've dated guys 2 or 3 years younger as well, but beyond that age gap i think i'd just be in a totally different mindset to someone who is 21 or something....although there is always an exception to that

lil'bluestar

I'm 21 my boyfriend is 32, I don't even see his age when we're together. I suppose I'm a mature 21 so we kinda match mental ages perfectly, sometimes I find him more childish and immature than I am, but we're happy.
I've always been into older guys, I find them more confident and self assured.
I've gone out with younger guys before and I felt like I was on a different planet to them, dull conversations etc.

Besides that my bf's experience makes things alot more interesting all round

J.S. Pill

Last year on holidays I was was talking to a girl in a pub, getting on really well, very flirty an all that...she was 30 and she was visibly taken aback when I told her I was 26 - shock horror! (had a bit of beardage at the time which probably added a few years on to me). Still managed to get a kiss from her but only after a lot of effort, that turned everything into a major uphill struggle.