What do people who happen to be female that I am attracted to want?

LegacyUser

Hello,

Basically my issue is that women don't seem attracted to me. I probably have everything going for me except looks (I'd give myself 5 out of 10). I'm thinking this is more important to women than commonly thought.

Even from reading some of the stuff on here women talk about guys they met e.g. 'he's really cute, nice etc' looks are always the first thing mentioned with personality being less important. To be honest I think women are a lot shallower than men, I have come across plenty of women who insult me personally- some because I have the cheek to talk to them, others because it gives them some sort of ego boost. These encounters have really damaged my confidence and self-image, I really like a girl at work at the moment but am terrified to approach her.

One of my male friends, an utter asshole, has women drooling over him because of his looks, he cheats on his girlfriend at every opportunity and doesn't think anything of it. He gets loads of action and I have nobody, how is that fair? I stopped going out cos nightclubs just seem to be knocking shops where someone like me has no success. I don't want meaningless one-night stands anyway. I know there are nice girls out there but they are so hard to find and they often don't like you in return.

Maybe the women on here could list their top 5 things they look for in a man(if it's ok to do that in this forum), please be honest as I would really like some honest feedback from the ladies out there.

LegacyUser

well from my point of view, the question shouldn't be ..what do 'chicks' want..your kind of tarring us all with the one brush there,thinking we want this one special specific thing..or five things and ye poor feckers are left beating yourselves up thinking what the hell is this thing that they want?!?being a girl who also has difficulties i could also be asking what do men want and why are they so god damn hard to understand?!.....everyone's different, people are attracted to different things in different people...i may like his goofy laugh,she may like his sarcasm...etc..all depends..you know when you connect with someone,you'll feel it and when you do it's cool and it's not all about looks dude believe me,we are not all shallow..some girls are interested in lads because of same interests in music,sport,programes,same sense of humour..all the pretty boys i know are weird anyway or too confident in themselves or confident and cocky around the lads but are quiet as mice around girls and send all kinds of mixed vibes..so id say just be yourself and it will happen..broaden your horizons and get out and meet new people and you'll find your ol bambeeno soon

Kirnsy

'what do chicks want??'


probably not to be referred to as 'chicks'.

Silverfish

Unregistered wrote: »

well from my point of view, the question shouldn't be ..what do 'chicks' want..your kind of tarring us all with the one brush there,thinking we want this one special specific thing..or five things and ye poor feckers are left beating yourselves up thinking what the hell is this thing that they want?!?being a girl who also has difficulties i could also be asking what do men want and why are they so god damn hard to understand?!.....everyone's different, people are attracted to different things in different people...i may like his goofy laugh,she may like his sarcasm...etc..all depends..you know when you connect with someone,you'll feel it and when you do it's cool and it's not all about looks dude believe me,we are not all shallow..some girls are interested in lads because of same interests in music,sport,programes,same sense of humour..all the pretty boys i know are weird anyway or too confident in themselves or confident and cocky around the lads but are quiet as mice around girls and send all kinds of mixed vibes..so id say just be yourself and it will happen..broaden your horizons and get out and meet new people and you'll find your ol bambeeno soon

This is pretty much it in a nutshell right here.

That_Guy

Mate unfortunately there are guys who will cheat on their gf's and maybe don't deserve to have women at all but it happens a lot of the time.

I myself have often attempted to talk (not chat up) to a girl and she started laughing at me calling me this, that and the other. It can be a real blow to your confidence but I gave her abuse right back. Nobody should be allowed to talk to another person like that and expect to get away with it.

What age are you by the way? Young enough I'd say. You'll never find a relationship in a night club anyway. If you're young enough don't go for the whole hog and say you want to get a girlfriend and have a serious relationship. It's too early for that. Just gotta go out and enjoy yourself. You don't have to always go out specifically for girls all the time. If it happens it happens. Just don't get down in the dumps if you don't.

By the way I'm basing this reply on that you are possibly between the age of 18-24.

stateofflux

q: what do chicks want?

a: someone who does'nt think they are a 5 out of 10...when in reality they are probably more....

pikachucheeks

Unregistered 1 wrote: »

from reading some of the stuff on here women talk about guys they met e.g. 'he's really cute, nice etc' looks are always the first thing mentioned with personality being less important.

I wouldn't say personality is less important, by any stretch of the imagination... but when you first meet someone, to like them, there does have to be a physical attraction. Once you know and like their personality, looks become less paramount.

Unregistered 1 wrote: »

I have come across plenty of women who insult me personally- some because I have the cheek to talk to them

That's just bitchy. Some women, like some men, aren't nice people and are shallow.
But trust me, not everyone is like this. Even if I wasn't attracted to someone in a bar, if they made the effort to come up and talk to me, I'd be nice to them - it's not easy going over to approach someone.


My five things;

1. Good sense of humour
2. Honest
3. Friendly and easy to get on with
4. Intelligent
5. Charming and kind.

Creamy Goodness

they also want myspace, no not the social networking site, but alone time and privacy. but that's for when you meet someone.

mardybum

When people say, x was so cute, or hot or whatever... they don't mean the person looked exactly like colin farrell or a pussy cat doll! I'm sure the girls you approach aren't all model-like.

I would say my boy is gorgeous, amazing and beautiful... but that's what *I* see, not what everyone else sees. He's not gonna be starring in any dolce and gabanna ads, and he's skinny and got a wonky nose and a wierd beard but he's self confident and funny and minds me and those things are why I'm with him.

You need to get out of the nightclubs and start talking to girls in every other walk of your life. And I can tell you among the top 5 things on anyone (girl or guy) list are usually

self worth
sense of humour!
kindness
intelligence
respect

pikachucheeks

mardybum wrote: »

He's not gonna be staring in any dolce and gabanna ads, and he's skinny and got a wonky nose and a wierd beard

God bless your boyfriend if he reads this!
:pac::pac::pac:

Liam Byrne

Kirnsy wrote: »

'what do chicks want??'


probably not to be referred to as 'chicks'.

Damn! That's EXACTLY what I was going to type when I saw the thread title!

mardybum

pikachucheeks wrote: »

God bless your boyfriend if he reads this!
:pac::pac::pac:

yeah but he's also gorgeous, amazing and beautiful

He tells me he loves how I look, he calls me a beauty queen (jasus, blush) but I think I'm totally average.

the point is beauty is in the eye of the beholder

pikachucheeks

mardybum wrote: »

the point is beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Couldn't agree more!

Everyone finds different things attractive, so it's all about finding someone out there who's right for you.

Nevyn

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

calahans

pikachucheeks wrote: »

My five things;

1. Good sense of humour
2. Honest
3. Friendly and easy to get on with
4. Intelligent
5. Charming and kind.

This is the line that is trotted out, but in reality good looking guys (b*stards or not) get the girls. I know lots of good looking guys with girls, and a good few no so good looking sounds guys with no girl (or ugly girls).

However, I begin to wonder could there be truth in the fact that it is the confidence of the good looking guy that is part of the attraction. It is hard to fake confidence though.

mardybum

Everyone is hardwired to be attracted to 'goodlooking' people. So if those people have confidence or charm to boot, yes they are going to get girls or guys...

But if they're d*cks or they treat their OH's like sh*t it doesn't mean, 'not only can they get all the girls but they can do what they like too, lucky them' it means they may get sex, but they're missing out on a real relationship, and while it might be fun for your early 20's, when they get older they're the people who will be lamenting the shallow, meaningless dating scenes, or locked in crappy relationships, not having learned about trust, respect and love.

If you get hung up on looks you'll never meet anyone, because you'll never see beyond the persons face or body. Guaranteed the person you end up with will not look like the perfect man/woman image you have in your head, because that's not what's important. You end up fancying the person love more than loving the person you fancy.

Oh The Humanity

He gets loads of action and I have nobody, how is that fair?

Hate to burst your bubble there OP but life is not fair. So dont expect it to be.

Its not just women that are shallow, its people.
Thats a truth and a reality you need to accept and while we're on it, don't whinge about that or allow it to enter your demeanour because bitterness not attractive.

Who would you rather speak to:
1. A 5 who is miserable, bitter and jealous of everyone who is a 6,7,8,9,10.
or
2. A 5 who is happy and fun and doesn't give a sh1t about where he comes on the scale!

Everyone is born with something, some have it all, some have less and have to work harder. Dont curse the darkness, light a candle. So you're a 5, nice one at least you aren't a 2, there are plenty of girls out there that are a 5.

The 5 most attractive things in a man for me:
1. He is interested in me & others (smiles, talks, shows interest)
2. Is amusing and fun to talk to
3. Clean and well presented
4. Is kind and decent
5. Can have a good laugh

Looks are great, yes no doubt, but the things on the list above can take a 5 to an 8 in my eyes. Im sure I am not alone in that.

Nervous Wreck

Unregistered 1 wrote: »

What do chicks want?

Firstly, probably not to be called 'chicks'.

LegacyUser

The 5 most attractive things in a man for me:
1. Strong manly shoulders & arms
2. Good hair
3. Tight butt
4. six pack
5. pecs

That's exactly what you think isn't it... how unbelievable does that sound?

Women do not think that way at all. In fact I would go as far as to say that women who are shallow don't go for looks.... they go for a nice healthy bank balance!

Ok there needs to be a bit of a physical attraction to begin with but personality is way more important. Men actually become more physically attractive to me if they have a really good personality.

However, if you are going around with a chip on your shoulder because a) all the other guys are better looking than you and b) women aren't interested in you, then you are not going to seem in the slightest bit attractive(physically or otherwise)

ManwitaPlan

As a man I would say the five things women want (in order):

1. Social skills- Women seem to find this really attractive.

2. The ability to make them laugh-Get them smiling and your half way there

3. Self-worth/confidence/self esteem/attitude of "you need me as much as I need you"- basically somebody who gives the impression that they dont need the girls validation to feel good about themselves

4. Positive attitude-somebody who is smiling looks like somebody who is fun to be around

5. Looks



Its all very well when women say they want caring, kind, honest, respectful men....of course they do. That goes without saying but it would be hard to build initial attraction with those qualities imo.


Anyway thats a mans view from my experiences and looking at others around me. Maybe I am way off but I think thats pretty close.


You'll also notice most of those things are pretty difficult to get if you dont have them already....hence the difficulty many blokes have.

Lobelia Overhill

Stop calling us chicks, for a start

I'm a woman and I'm in the same boat, men aren't interested in me - I dress "conservatively" and am fed up of reading about how men aren't interested in girls who dress like hookers.

I too know several women who are utter bitches but seem to have men falling all over them.

I have no idea what the "problem" is, and have resigned myself to dying alone with my face eaten off by my cats.

Who's with me?!

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Men actually become more physically attractive to me if they have a really good personality.

with my girlfriend, we had amazing,tingling sexual chemistry when we first met, it took me 2 years of chasing her, to convince her that I was a nice guy, cared for her and was not only after her because she is hot.

woman
1. trust
2. honesty
3. respect
4. love

Girls
1. hot
2. money
3. what their friends think

StormWarrior

I'm female, and yes, looks in a man are very important, of course they are. OP if you think you're not that attractive, instead of complaining about how women want attractive men, how about you try and improve your own appearance? Go down to the gym, get your hair done, ask a female friend to help you pick out some good clothes, aftershave etc?

ManwitaPlan

Lobelia Overhill wrote: »

I dress "conservatively" and am fed up of reading about how men aren't interested in girls who dress like hookers.

/quote]


Tbh men love women who dress sexy...what most people mean to say is "men dont want their GF's to dress like hookers";)

Lobelia Overhill

ManwitaPlan wrote: »

Lobelia Overhill wrote: »

I dress "conservatively" and am fed up of reading about how men aren't interested in girls who dress like hookers.

Tbh men love women who dress sexy...what most people mean to say is "men dont want their GF's to dress like hookers"

There's a thread somewhere on boards asking about the way women dress and the men are all saying they don't like the tarty look ... I knew they were all lying!!!

LegacyUser

Hey don't be so hard on yourself, girls look for the same thing as guys look for when they want someone to love. Most people in this world are a 5 out of 10! Who's counting anyway?

Looks aren't important, like everybody else here agrees, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I think my man's the best looking stud in the world, but he'd tell you he thinks he's the opposite!
I thought the very same way you do before I met him, and I thought I'd be like that crazy oul one in Simpons with all the cats, alone and nuts. That was 3 yrs ago, I'm 27 now and getting married in 5 weeks!!!

Be yourself, be funny, be charming, be brave when you need to be, believe in yourself, do the whole "I Am Man, hear me roar" thing sometimes, but sprinkle in the softer mushy bits too. Take pride in your appearance, buy some nice clothes, you don't need to break the bank, Penny's is great, I like a good pair of shoes on a man, but don't be changing your image either. Looking good, usually makes you feel good, thus you project confidence.

Some people are just horrible, you'll get that in all walks of life, be that work / relationships or anywhere, it's not your fault or problem, so smile at them and walk away, losers!
There's probably someone you haven't even so much as acknowledged out there who thinks you are God's gift, and they're probably thinking the same way you are now.
You'll meet the right one when she's lucky enough to have found you! And seriously, stop thinking about meeting someone to settle down with, you're trying too hard. Enjoy!

Wibbs

ManwitaPlan wrote: »

As a man I would say the five things women want (in order):

1. Social skills- Women seem to find this really attractive.

2. The ability to make them laugh-Get them smiling and your half way there

3. Self-worth/confidence/self esteem/attitude of "you need me as much as I need you"- basically somebody who gives the impression that they dont need the girls validation to feel good about themselves

4. Positive attitude-somebody who is smiling looks like somebody who is fun to be around

5. Looks

I would agree on all points. As a generalisation, looks while important, come down the line for women in my experience. They're more important for younger women(under 20) especially women who are themselves validated by their peers on their looks. I would say number 3 and 4 are the biggies, followed by 1(though if one has 3 and 4, 1 comes naturally). Looking at guys trying to meet meet and attract women, number 3 is where they tend to fall down on. Looking up to women is bad, looking down on them is bad, so try looking at them on an equal level.

LostinBlanch

Hi op,

Welcome to the real world. It's not always fair and doesn't have to be so getting stuck in this mindset isn't going to help you. Take some of the advice on here especially the bits about building up self confidence etc. Don't come across as trying too hard and needy - that's a big turn off btw. Relax, do stuff you like doing and basically ignore them for a while. Who knows it might be the best thing you've ever done.

As for what women say they want, well some of them don't know. Or they get "it" and then change their minds and want something else!

If Freud coudn't work it out who can?

legend73

Firstly being from Oz and a male the word 'chick' does not strike an offense to the ladies in Australia, but it does in Ireland. So yep don't call them chicky babes here.

Secondly I can't help you out being a ridiculously good looking guy (insert pout here). But i've found that ugly blokes (mates of mine) who were well endowed never had issues with the ladies or if they were funny frackers.

So it is attitude with confidence that women like when you can get to know them, but in nightclubs - pubs - bars - socail situations where 1st impressions counts, if you're ugly stick a sock down your pants, but make sure you put it in the front!

LegacyUser

Like others have said OP, what a girl/woman looks for in a guy changes hugely from person to person and also with age and experience. What I always looked for in a guy was someone who I got on really well with and had a great laugh with. I ended up going out for a good few years with a guy who was great craic and my best friend but in the end that wasn't enough and we broke up. I've therefore been thinking a lot about what I'd look for in a potential partner and have surprised myself a bit by the realisation that sometimes as well as things you want there are things you need - things which you may not cop on to initially. In my case I'd now be much more likely to look for someone I had a strong sexual attraction to as that's something I didn't prioritise enough before. I also want someone who's confident in themselves and their opinion so that I can argue with them about stuff without it being construed as a personal attack. And I would like someone who's not afraid to make decisions and has a bit of ambition and drive (this is nothing to do with making money - purely just that they would care about something other than just sitting around getting drunk/stoned all the bloody time). I'm also not a big fan of people who are rude or bigoted. Above all I would want to find them interesting. So...I guess my 5 would be: physical/sexual attraction, self-confidence, ambition, manners and intelligence. But that's just me...

eddie.fandango

Hey OP, there is a lot of good advice in this thread, pay attention!
You know, I didn't know that women take such great offence to the term "chick". Maybe it's time to bring back that great word "dames".
"Check out the gams on that hot dame, arrroooogggghhhhaaaa!!"

Nevyn

Lobelia Overhill Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

bubblewrap

Firstly I wouldn't want to be referred to as a chick, it just makes me think of The Fonz, and that isn't the sort of person I want to pull!

Looks shouldn't come into it, beauty is in the eye of the beholder - all I would want is someone I can trust, someone who makes me feel special and someone I feel comfortable with. I know you need to get over the looks thing to get to that stage but the right person will find you attractive. My bf isn't someone everyone phwoars at (better not be anyway! :mad::D) but I adore him, he is not by any stretch of the imagination model material but I love him to pieces.

LegacyUser

Hello, this is the thread starter guy.

To everyone who says 'don't call us chicks', it's just the title of the thread. Please cop on.

That_Guy wrote: »

What age are you by the way?

24

calahans wrote: »

This is the line that is trotted out, but in reality good looking guys (b*stards or not) get the girls. I know lots of good looking guys with girls, and a good few no so good looking sounds guys with no girl (or ugly girls). .

I agree, people pretend that they are into personality and while many probably are, most women I have encountered think they're sh*t's made of gold and are more into the type of guys they see in Heat magazine than genuine, friendly fellas.

StormWarrior wrote: »

I'm female, and yes, looks in a man are very important, of course they are. OP if you think you're not that attractive, instead of complaining about how women want attractive men, how about you try and improve your own appearance? Go down to the gym, get your hair done, ask a female friend to help you pick out some good clothes, aftershave etc?

I am in good shape, a bit skinny but nothing extreme. I think I have good taste in clothes etc. Come to think of it, I probably have communication problems. So how do you women want men to communicate with ye? I usually can't think of what to say and end up saying stupid or boring stuff. They usually lose interest fairly quickly.

Lobelia Overhill

Thaedydal wrote: »

Lobelia Overhill Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

*leaves forum voluntarily*

donster79

mardybum wrote: »

When people say, x was so cute, or hot or whatever... they don't mean the person looked exactly like colin farrell or a pussy cat doll! I'm sure the girls you approach aren't all model-like.

I would say my boy is gorgeous, amazing and beautiful... but that's what *I* see, not what everyone else sees. He's not gonna be starring in any dolce and gabanna ads, and he's skinny and got a wonky nose and a wierd beard but he's self confident and funny and minds me and those things are why I'm with him.

You need to get out of the nightclubs and start talking to girls in every other walk of your life. And I can tell you among the top 5 things on anyone (girl or guy) list are usually

self worth
sense of humour!
kindness
intelligence
respect

Bull****.

What they want is:

1: Money
2: Status
3-5: Refer to 1 and 2

eddie.fandango

donster79 wrote: »

Bull****.

What they want is:

1: Money
2: Status
3-5: Refer to 1 and 2

I don't think the OP is looking for a woman whom Rule 1 applies to.

I can't say I agree that all, or even most women are attracted to money, but I would agree that status is a huge attraction, for both men and women. But status doesn't have to apply to what you do, it can be what you are.

You can have the status of being the only guy in the room willing to approach a woman without fear of rejection. You can have the status of being the only guy in the room who doesn't pander to every attractive woman he meets, who sets his own standards and evaluates women against these. From reading the previous posts by some of the ladies in this forum, these kinds of qualities seem to be what they look for.

And, once again, ixnay on the chick-nay.

Oh The Humanity

donster79 wrote: »

Bull****.

What they want is:

1: Money
2: Status
3-5: Refer to 1 and 2

Correction thats what a certain type wants. But you've got to learn to weed those out early.

If they ask about the car you drive and what you work at in the first 5 minutes or demand drinks in that time frame you can be sure you've bumped into one of those ghastly gold-digging, image obsessed types.

I dont need any mans money because I earn my own, Ive no interest in diamonds, cars or any of that shyte....there are women out there who aren't all into that superficial shyte.

Male friends also complain all they meet are girls who are looking for a meal ticket, as soon as they found out the lads are 'worthless' to them these parasites move on to the next host like the vulturing little scavengers they are.

If men keep believing that all they have to offer women is money and status then thats the type you will attract.

If you want to attract a decent woman who is interested in more than screwing your wallet then cultivate qualities described in this thread.

honru

A few traits I believe the majority of women look most for in a man, in no particular order of importance:

Honesty
Integrity/Purpose
Playfulness/Sense of Humour
Respect
Security
Self-Worth
Trust (including self-trust = confidence)

Wibbs

eddie.fandango wrote: »

I would agree that status is a huge attraction, for both men and women. But status doesn't have to apply to what you do, it can be what you are.

I agree. Status is a large part of it, if not all of it. Status can be measured in different ways as you say and IMHO the genders differ. Now to keep the pack at bay this is a generalisation and obviously my take, but in my experience it seems to hold. Status in a woman is much more based on her looks. Yes looks are a factor in male status, but not nearly to the same extent. A woman with a lot of status in her career or finances does not equal an increase in her attractiveness. Indeed it may even lessen it, or decrease the pool of men she has access to or even wants. While a man with high status as far as finance and money are concerned is much more likely to be found with a lower status woman finance/career wise. She will 9 times outa 10 be better looking than he would get if he wasn't high status. In a lot of cases you can even tell the social status of a man by how attractive his partner is.

You can have the status of being the only guy in the room willing to approach a woman without fear of rejection. You can have the status of being the only guy in the room who doesn't pander to every attractive woman he meets, who sets his own standards and evaluates women against these.

+1. The biggest mistake a lot of men make is thinking that women, especially attractive women are a scarce commodity. They're not, they're everywhere. Then they're so lucky to find and get a woman like this and when they try to get her they project this feeling. Game over in most cases. Then if they do land her, by feeling out of her league, sooner or later the woman leaves. I don't blame them TBH.

Unregistered 1 wrote:

I agree, people pretend that they are into personality and while many probably are, most women I have encountered think they're sh*t's made of gold and are more into the type of guys they see in Heat magazine than genuine, friendly fellas.

OK define genuine friendly fellas then. When I hear that my spidey sense kicks off I must say. I'm probably wrong about you in particular, but "genuine friendly" usually is the guy who is not socially aware or engaged with the group, has little confidence and comes across as afraid to engage with women in a sexual way. By that I mean he's "friendly" but not open as far as what he wants. Plus they become resentful towards women. They live in friendzone a lot. Women are far better at reading a man's approaches than a man is. They've had a lot more practice, especially the attractive ones. Even the plainest women have more guys approaching than the best looking guys. So if you project this idea they will rightfully write you off as just another face in the crowd like the other 10 on the same night.

I am in good shape, a bit skinny but nothing extreme. I think I have good taste in clothes etc. Come to think of it, I probably have communication problems. So how do you women want men to communicate with ye? I usually can't think of what to say and end up saying stupid or boring stuff. They usually lose interest fairly quickly.

Cool on the clothes etc. Good start. If they're losing interest it's either because they're not the sparkiest, or you are just not compatible, in which case the word "next!" springs to mind. Be nice about it but move on. Plenty more fish etc.

The other reason if she is cool and sparky is that you're not interesting. Now I won't say the usual panacea(more often by women advising men) that's trotted out which is "be yourself". Great in theory, effectively useless in practice and IMHO the worst advice of all. If "being yourself" worked, you wouldn't be here. Simple as that.

I am not suggesting you change who you are as a person. I am suggesting you make the best of who you are, which is likely a good ways down from who you are now. Expand your horizons, take up hobbies, interests(world of warcraft is not an interest;):)). Make new social connections, make yourself more social. Push your fears socially. The latter may surprise you, when you find how easy it is. It requires practice though. So practice talking to women. And men. Everybody in fact. Everyone has a story to tell. Listen to them and incorporate that into your own life. All of that will make you more interesting, because you will be more interesting. Last of all don't worry about finding a woman, or don't be in such a rush to get a woman. Any woman. As I say, they're not scarce. They're at least 50% of the population. When you do, of course the next trick is keeping a woman, but that's for another day.

So to answer your original question I would say women look for in an ideal world and in no particular order;

Emotional consistency
Social status
Social and emotional awareness
Fun and interesting
Ambition
Sexually balanced and aware and not afraid of his own and her sexuality.
Health
Supportive, but not weak.
Has options. IE A man other women would want to be with.
Intelligence

Get 9 outa 10 of that lot right and you won't need to ask what women want.

My 2 cents anyway.

mardybum

most women I have encountered think they're sh*t's made of gold and are more into the type of guys they see in Heat magazine than genuine, friendly fellas.

Bull****.

What they want is:

1: Money
2: Status
3-5: Refer to 1 and 2

I think both these replys show an underlying bitterness and touch of misogyni. Actually you might be missing a vital componant of attracting women, which is... *liking* women.

We're not ball breakers or b*tches, and if this is all you see around you, then similarly to beauty being in the eye of the beholder, sometimes ugliness is in the eye of the beholder too.

CDfm

Kirnsy wrote: »

'what do chicks want??'


probably not to be referred to as 'chicks'.

Oh dear -they prefer to be called birds cos its much more mature.

OP- do you have any women who are friends and do you hang out with them.

Lots of guys posting find it difficult not to be shy and getting comfortable around women is very important.

It also helps if you pay compliments -say she is wearing something new etc say its nice and suits her etc.

Women also like being flirted with New jeans? No- but they look gorgeous on you!Youve had your hair done -its nice? No - really it must be the sun but it is really nice.

They also find guys interesting that are interested in them and listen to them. Many women and girls (most people really) like talking about themselves and being told how great they are. When a women talks shut up and listen.

Flattery -thats what they want and being treated like a princess when they are not goes a long way too. I think your friend understands this:D

prinz

Unregistered 1 wrote: »

To be honest I think women are a lot shallower than men, I have come across plenty of women who insult me personally- some because I have the cheek to talk to them, others because it gives them some sort of ego boost. These encounters have really damaged my confidence and self-image, I really like a girl at work at the moment but am terrified to approach her.

One of my male friends, an utter asshole, has women drooling over him because of his looks, he cheats on his girlfriend at every opportunity and doesn't think anything of it. He gets loads of action and I have nobody, how is that fair? I stopped going out cos nightclubs just seem to be knocking shops where someone like me has no success. I don't want meaningless one-night stands anyway.

Unregistered 1 wrote: »

I agree, people pretend that they are into personality and while many probably are, most women I have encountered think they're sh*t's made of gold and are more into the type of guys they see in Heat magazine than genuine, friendly fellas.

Any chance your past experiences is actually hampering you here? Seems to me you have a slightly skewed and biased, even slightly derogatory attittude towards women, expecting them all to be the same. If so then that could clearly come across when you approach them. Don't be worried about the ego of others, work on your own self-confidence and mindset first.

As for your mate, I have one the same. Guess what, he's unhappy and bitter, and hates seeing other people happy and content in a loving relationship.

Personality, charm and a sense of humour go a long long way, take it from me, I'm getting married to a hottie and happy with life, while my mate is single, spends his time in clubs on his own - he's turning into that lad, is incapable of an adult relationship, and from being the hot guy the women were after...he's now the desperate guy who'll be with anyone, rergardless of looks or personality.

Also approach nice girls more. It's usually fairly obvious which girls are going to go on the defensive and turn b*tchy and which probably won't. Perhaps the girls you have history with are more into the guys you see in Heat because they're the girls you see in Heat.

Just be yourself, and don't go into situations expecting to be treated badly. Tbh an ugly personality is far far far worse than ugly looks.

Liam Byrne

Unregistered 1 wrote: »

Hello, this is the thread starter guy.

To everyone who says 'don't call us chicks', it's just the title of the thread. Please cop on.

You're implying above - via the "us" that only women thought that word relevant. That's not the case, because I commented on it, too.

Yes, if people know you then you can drop in words that might be iffy or slightly offensive and get away with it.

But when it's strangers, then you won't, usually.

So the very fact that you'd use the word IS partially relevant - it shows a tiny level of dismissiveness and disrespect; and while you might well be sound-out behind it all, using words carelessly or showing a tiny level of disrespect - particularly just after meeting someone - could be part of the reason you're getting the reaction from girls and women that you are getting.

veryangryman

What do chicks want? Everything

Do you have a dog? Well, I want you to find a pile of its best work and roll all around in it. See, that's how it feels to be a guy. Because here's the dirty little secret. Chicks don't want your help. They want your dignity, they want your pride, but mostly, they want your money. Good luck.

Oh! The next time you see a magic show, the bunny was in the hat the whole time. Peace out!

Disclaimer: Yes i stole this from scrubs, and yes it is meant in a light hearted way. Some chicks are good - ive met them :pac:

CDfm

mardybum wrote: »

Actually you might be missing a vital componant of attracting women, which is... *liking* women.

OP - you should latch onto this nugget of wisdom.

Irishcrx

It's all differant mate, some girls want some things others don't you will eventually find the girl that will want you for you so don't ever change yourself to fit in. As said you won't find a relationship that will last in a nightclub only one night stands which trust me are not all they are cracked up to be. When I was younger I was very cocky , treated women with no respect i'm assahmed to admit and I always had a girlfriend or one waiting, cheated on them all, party'd non stop and I wasn't really happy on the inside despite all this.

Then I met my girlfriend out of the blue, not in a club or a party but just a friend of a friend and we clicked straight away, and I knew I'd never do anything to hurt this one and were still together 5 years on and i've never been happier, my point is it will happen when you least expect it and don't envey all these "Great looking go getters" they are usually the ones that end up hating themselfs in the end.

LegacyUser

Wibbs wrote: »

I agree. Status is a large part of it, if not all of it. Status can be measured in different ways as you say and IMHO the genders differ. Now to keep the pack at bay this is a generalisation and obviously my take, but in my experience it seems to hold. Status in a woman is much more based on her looks. Yes looks are a factor in male status, but not nearly to the same extent. A woman with a lot of status in her career or finances does not equal an increase in her attractiveness. Indeed it may even lessen it, or decrease the pool of men she has access to or even wants. While a man with high status as far as finance and money are concerned is much more likely to be found with a lower status woman finance/career wise. She will 9 times outa 10 be better looking than he would get if he wasn't high status. In a lot of cases you can even tell the social status of a man by how attractive his partner is.

+1. The biggest mistake a lot of men make is thinking that women, especially attractive women are a scarce commodity. They're not, they're everywhere. Then they're so lucky to find and get a woman like this and when they try to get her they project this feeling. Game over in most cases. Then if they do land her, by feeling out of her league, sooner or later the woman leaves. I don't blame them TBH.


OK define genuine friendly fellas then. When I hear that my spidey sense kicks off I must say. I'm probably wrong about you in particular, but "genuine friendly" usually is the guy who is not socially aware or engaged with the group, has little confidence and comes across as afraid to engage with women in a sexual way. By that I mean he's "friendly" but not open as far as what he wants. Plus they become resentful towards women. They live in friendzone a lot. Women are far better at reading a man's approaches than a man is. They've had a lot more practice, especially the attractive ones. Even the plainest women have more guys approaching than the best looking guys. So if you project this idea they will rightfully write you off as just another face in the crowd like the other 10 on the same night.

Cool on the clothes etc. Good start. If they're losing interest it's either because they're not the sparkiest, or you are just not compatible, in which case the word "next!" springs to mind. Be nice about it but move on. Plenty more fish etc.

The other reason if she is cool and sparky is that you're not interesting. Now I won't say the usual panacea(more often by women advising men) that's trotted out which is "be yourself". Great in theory, effectively useless in practice and IMHO the worst advice of all. If "being yourself" worked, you wouldn't be here. Simple as that.

I am not suggesting you change who you are as a person. I am suggesting you make the best of who you are, which is likely a good ways down from who you are now. Expand your horizons, take up hobbies, interests(world of warcraft is not an interest;):)). Make new social connections, make yourself more social. Push your fears socially. The latter may surprise you, when you find how easy it is. It requires practice though. So practice talking to women. And men. Everybody in fact. Everyone has a story to tell. Listen to them and incorporate that into your own life. All of that will make you more interesting, because you will be more interesting. Last of all don't worry about finding a woman, or don't be in such a rush to get a woman. Any woman. As I say, they're not scarce. They're at least 50% of the population. When you do, of course the next trick is keeping a woman, but that's for another day.

So to answer your original question I would say women look for in an ideal world and in no particular order;

Emotional consistency
Social status
Social and emotional awareness
Fun and interesting
Ambition
Sexually balanced and aware and not afraid of his own and her sexuality.
Health
Supportive, but not weak.
Has options. IE A man other women would want to be with.
Intelligence

Get 9 outa 10 of that lot right and you won't need to ask what women want.

My 2 cents anyway.

Great post,just interested in what you mean by status ,are you talking about status as in loads of financial or the status of being a rock star?.


The bottom line is OP when you want to attract a woman, that being with you is going to enrich her life .So you have to go out with your head held high and integrate it into your personality. I was painfully shy and I decided to address that problem .I dated a s**t load of women in six months by the end of that my game was watertight.If you do the same yours will be too.

Wibbs

Social status. That can be money, talent, intelligence, social awareness, men wanting to be around you and women wanting you. That kinda thing.

CliffHuxtabel

OP, you should get 'Understanding Women' by Romy Miller

It has all the good advice offered here by female posters and alot more.

Without sounding too disrespectful its almost like an instruction manual for doing better with women. It doesnt have any of the gimmicky nonsense you may have heard off alot of guys who offer relationship advice.

I dont usually plug these sort of books but it really straightened out alot of mysteries for me personally.

By all means follow your own path but its worth considering if you have time to read it.

CDfm

CliffHuxtabel wrote: »

OP, you should get 'Understanding Women' by Romy Miller

How many volumes is in that:D