What's your "i don't know what a tracker mortgage is"?

tech77

What makes you feel like the guy in the ad?
What phases you?
What don't you know and are kinda afraid to ask?

OK, i know the average AHer is a cosmopolitan, suave, sophisticated and generally well-rounded individual but is there anything (mundane, even) that stumps you, that makes you feel a bit like a scared kid again?

Insect Overlord

When I was 13 I was ridiculed for asking somebody to clarify what "topping" a girl meant.

*Wins thread.*

Gary ITR

An File wrote: »

When I was 13 I was ridiculed for asking somebody to clarify what "topping" a girl meant.

*Wins thread.*

Here I'm 25 and I don't know what that is......

Sharpshooter

I still don't understand the offside rule.

easyeason3

What's 'topping'?
And what does AFAIK mean? I've spotted it in a few posts but have yet to make the connection.

Daftendirekt

Couldn't you just wiki it?

Insect Overlord

Onkle wrote: »

Here I'm 25 and I don't know what that is......

*puts hand up Onkle's top*
*squeeze*

Get it now?

p1akuw47h5r3it

An File wrote: »

When I was 13 I was ridiculed for asking somebody to clarify what "topping" a girl meant.

*Wins thread.*

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH hahahahahahaha:P

Don't know what procrastinate means.

Used to think it was a sexual term

p1akuw47h5r3it

easyeason3 wrote: »

What's 'topping'?
And what does AFAIK mean? I've spotted it in a few posts but have yet to make the connection.

As Far As I Know

When you meet (french kiss) a bird (female) and you stick (put) your hand up her top and gently (roughly) feel her tit (breast):P

tech77

Sloane Obedient Sideshow wrote: »

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH hahahahahahaha:P

Don't know what procrastinate means.

Used to think it was a sexual term

Kept putting off finding out, did you.

/gets coat.

Fizman

When I was a kid, I initially thought that a femaile got pregnant when the male put his balls inside the womans 'place'.

No joke. :pac:

seanybiker

I actually dont know what a tracker mortgage is.

easyeason3

Sloane Obedient Sideshow wrote: »

As Far As I Know

When you meet (french kiss) a bird (female) and you stick (put) your hand up her top and gently (roughly) feel her tit (breast):P

Classy!
Oh it takes me back...

mardybumbum

I dont get the offside rule either.

Gary ITR

An File wrote: »

*puts hand up Onkle's top*
*squeeze*

Get it now?

I just call that 'feeling boobs' tbh

gsxr1

gaa football. dont have a clue how to play it.

p1akuw47h5r3it

seanybiker wrote: »

I actually dont know what a tracker mortgage is.

It's a mortgage that tracks current interest rates so the rate you pay can differ from month to month

KerranJast

Sharpshooter wrote: »

I still don't understand the offside rule.

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.

The 'opposing' female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper,
catch the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.

MadgeBadge

Fizman wrote: »

When I was a kid, I initially thought that a femaile got pregnant when the male put his balls inside the womans 'place'.

No joke. :pac:

After watching dirty dancing as a child I thought being pregnant was an illness that affected dancers.

seanybiker

Sloane Obedient Sideshow wrote: »

It's a mortgage that tracks current interest rates so the rate you pay can differ from month to month

Oh right. Sounds like a bit of a balls.

Tar.Aldarion

I've never seen this tracker mortgage ad thing so I don't ever get the reference apart from it being annoying.

tech77

KerranJast wrote: »

LMAO.

Insect Overlord

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

I've never seen this tracker mortgage ad thing so I don't ever get the reference apart from it being annoying.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l74083zafAM

Tar.Aldarion

An File wrote: »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l74083zafAM

I'm in the wrong thread.

ronnie3585

I used to think meant - balls and penis.

When I'd see on Bebo or elsewhere - "Sarah Joe" I just thought, ah Joe's riding Sarah.

Sharpshooter

KerranJast wrote: »

I geddit, I think.:o

watna

I only found out this week that sheepskin is actual dead sheeps skin. I always thought they sheared the wool off carefully so that it stayed in one big piece. Feel a bit worse abot my sheepskin lined boots now (but only a little!)

tech77

An File wrote: »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l74083zafAM

Think he may have been going for the dry and subtle i don't know what a "i don't know what a tracker mortgage is" ad approach.
Then again, maybe you were just (even more subtly ) countering by anti-joking it.

useful_contacts

Long Division - Couldnt understand it in school and still cant

I used to think that having sex involved frying eggs on the womans stomach(saw it in a film once ha)

Cars or anything car related

p1akuw47h5r3it

seanybiker wrote: »

Oh right. Sounds like a bit of a balls.

Well at the moment it would be great cause u'd only be payin about 1% interest

Insect Overlord

tech77 wrote: »

Think he may have been going for the dry and subtle i don't know what a "i don't know what a tracker mortgage is" ad approach.
Then again, maybe you were just (even more subtly ) countering by anti-joking it.

What's an anti-joke?

Tar.Aldarion

tech77 wrote: »

Think he may have been going for the dry and subtle i don't know what a "i don't know what a tracker mortgage is" ad approach.
Then again, maybe you were just (even more subtly ) countering by anti-joking it.

Oh the amalgam of intertwinings of an enigma that has been created!

Shacklebolt

Onkle wrote: »

I just call that 'feeling boobs' tbh

Tit-action

Darragh29

When someone says, "I'm studying Political Science"... What the F*CK IS POLITICAL SCIENCE!?!?! Politics is the opposite of science!!!

giggsy664

I don't understand WHY I'M STILL ON boards !!!

Abi

My 'tracker mortgage' is TLL.

tech77

An File wrote: »

What's an anti-joke?

Example:
Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

Basically, something you think that's going to have a punchline but doesn't (in the traditional comedic sense) thereby creating surprise which kinda leads to the humour.

Slightly different to what i suggested you did admittedly, but the principle is the same- taking the sting out of intended humour (Tar Aldarion's joke)- paradoxically leading to its own humour.

TBH deadpanning may be a better description of what you did (if that is what you did of course).

ya-ba-da-ba-doo

what does FYP and IBTL mean?

Jigsaw

I don't understand what references in Boards to 4chan or memes is. I feel like an outsider. Please help!!!

newballsplease

i dont know what the meaning of life is!!!

tony 2 tone

I am having trouble with understanding thermodynamics. think i'll just go hide under a pile of coats.

kumate_champ07

i dont understand the nice treaty

Professey Chin

useful_contacts wrote: »

I used to think that having sex involved frying eggs on the womans stomach(saw it in a film once ha)

I love Hot Shots

Stephen

Jigsaw wrote: »

I don't understand what references in Boards to 4chan or memes is. I feel like an outsider. Please help!!!

I'd link you to 4chan, but that would get me banned.

anniehoo

Sloane Obedient Sideshow wrote: »

When you meet (french kiss) a bird (female) and you stick (put) your hand up her top and gently (roughly) feel her tit (breast):P

I hadnt a clue either...i started to think of a similar looking substance to Dream Topping and what you'd do with it well i learned something new today anyway and im 29!

I still dont understand the whole chicken and egg thing, i.e. theres no actual dead baby chicken in the egg when you're eating it! Have googled it so many times its ridiculous.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

I'm twenty years old and I wouldn't have a clue how to put fake tan on.

And I can't drive, not even a little bit. (In before haha that's coz you're a girl lol. Feck off)

Mr.David

MadgeBadge wrote: »

After watching dirty dancing as a child I thought being pregnant was an illness that affected dancers.

But now, being older and wiser you realise its an illness that can affect any lady, not just the dancers

Hydroquinone

anniehoo wrote: »

I still dont understand the whole chicken and egg thing, i.e. theres no actual dead baby chicken in the egg when you're eating it! Have googled it so many times its ridiculous.

You could think of the egg you eat as being a hen's period, if that helps.
Mind you, it might put you off eggs forever, who knows?

anniehoo

Hydroquinone wrote: »

You could think of the egg you eat as being a hen's period, if that helps.
Mind you, it might put you off eggs forever, who knows?

:eek:No that doesnt help....not one bit...cheers there goes tomorrow mornins fry up:(

sunnyside

I don't understand betting odds but then again I've never been inside a betting shop ever. I don't need to know and could Google the info if I really wanted to know. It just seems like something everyone knows.

ShooterSF

newballsplease wrote: »

i dont know what the meaning of life is!!!

It's a rather humorous movie made by the "Monty Python" crowd who also made a t.v show called "Flying circus" and the famous "Life of Brian"

Alternatively it is 42.