Crazy Urban Myths/Superstitions You've Heard

Zillah

So I was out in a bar a couple months ago with some friends and an American lady who had kind of invited herself along. Being in Bolivia we were able to smoke inside, and finding that I had no lighter handy I leaned in to light my cigarette from the candle in the centre of the table. The lady who was with us screamed in horror and dragged me away from the candle. Can't remember what I said but it was something like "Wtf?!" She explained, in dead serious tones, that every time you light a cigarette from a candle a sailor somewhere dies. I shit you not.

When I tried to explain that this made no sense she went on to explain in melodramatic tones, with a hand on her heart, that I could only understand if I had ever lost someone at sea.

(To pre-empt the smart asses: I once heard this thing about this Jewish guy who came back from the dead and can walk on water lol so clever. I don't care if you want to mock mainstream religion, this thread is for the more bizarre and obscure silly things you've encountered)

RATM

Urban Myth: "We should bear in mind that the fundamentals of the Irish economy remain strong"
Brian Cowen, 26th January, 2008.

FrostyJack

Does swans breaking people's arms count?

minidazzler

RATM wrote: »

Urban Myth: "We should bear in mind that the fundamentals of the Irish economy remain strong"
Brian Cowen, 26th January, 2008.

No, thats just a plain faced lie.

At least when Bertie lied to us we didn't care because he's just a teddy bear, Brian Cowen is an ugly cnut. Therefore he has no permission to lie to us!!!

Simi

RATM wrote: »

Urban Myth: "We should bear in mind that the fundamentals of the Irish economy remain strong"
Brian Cowen, 26th January, 2008.

Congratulations you just ruined a perfectly good thread. Sigh...

im_invisible

Zillah wrote: »

every time you light a cigarette from a candle a sailor somewhere dies.

heard this, not sure where from

Can't remember what I said but it was something like "Wtf?!"

how did you pronounce that? wootef

Quazzie

There must've been a lot of lighting fags off candles last night because I dumped a load of semen on a young ones face.



Wait! Did you say semen or sailors?

Zillah

Simi wrote: »

Congratulations you just ruined a perfectly good thread. Sigh...

His was pretty good considering it's after hours. For context, please see the post immediately prior to this one.

mikemac

I've always heard that swans are defensive creatures who attack you if you strayed too close. High probability of losing an eye

But for all the years I've heard this I've never heard of any incident, not even of a child straying too close

minidazzler

Quazzie2002 wrote: »

There must've been a lot of lighting fags off candles last night because I dumped a load of semen on a young ones face.



Wait! Did you say semen or sailors?

How young exactly????


(I'd post a Chris Hansen pic but this is AH so I can't!!!)

Shield

If you find yourself in the unfortunate situation of being forced to withdraw cash against your will at an ATM, simply type in your PIN backwards to alert the Gardai.

SV

Re: Swans attacking, i've been attacked by one before. Nowhere near strong enough to break bones though, though they do have these little bastardy spikes on the back of their legs.
I think the whole walking under a ladder thing is hilarious, went under one in town before and i heard people gasp.. Sad times.

mikemac

Suppose you lost you car keys and they are home but you're stranded somewhere.
And these are those remote control car keys.

You could call the husband/wife and home on the mobile, they could press the remote control for the spare sets of car keys and it would travel over the mobile phone network and the signal could open your car.

I've probably explained it badly but it's a well known one

Paddy Samurai

Zillah wrote: »

So I was out in a bar a couple months ago with some friends and an American lady who had kind of invited herself along. Being in Bolivia we were able to smoke inside, and finding that I had no lighter handy I leaned in to light my cigarette from the candle in the centre of the table. The lady who was with us screamed in horror and dragged me away from the candle. Can't remember what I said but it was something like "Wtf?!" She explained, in dead serious tones, that every time you light a cigarette from a candle a sailor somewhere dies. I shit you not.

When I tried to explain that this made no sense she went on to explain in melodramatic tones, with a hand on her heart, that I could only understand if I had ever lost someone at sea.

(To pre-empt the smart asses: I once heard this thing about this Jewish guy who came back from the dead and can walk on water lol so clever. I don't care if you want to mock
mainstream religion, this thread is for the more bizarre and obscure silly things you've encountered)

I was in the Blackforrest a few years ago.Walking along this track i came accross this Old Hag in a broken down hut.
She told me a spell for making people vanish ,poof!...up in smoke,gone,just like that!................not like that!..............like that!.
What you do is key in a user Id backwards 3 times ,while bollock naked ,covered in mustard and shouting "Out vile devil!"

So here goes.....................halliz,hillaz,hillaz


Eh..........did it work?.

monkeyfudge

psni wrote: »

If you find yourself in the unfortunate situation of being forced to withdraw cash against your will at an ATM, simply type in your PIN backwards to alert the Gardai.

Oh no! My PIN is a palindrome!

Nodin

mikemac wrote: »

I've always heard that swans are defensive creatures who attack you if you strayed too close. High probability of losing an eye

But for all the years I've heard this I've never heard of any incident, not even of a child straying too close

Ahh yes, the 'Polish Question'......

Paddy Samurai

Apparently some of the native tribes of south america believe that if you sleep with a venomous snake in your jocks in increases your sexual potency.
Has anyone tried this?.

AnonoBoy

When I was in secondary school I remember some people firmly believe that Slim Fast milkshakes had worms in them that would live in your stomach and eat the food and that's how it helps you lose weight.

abouttobebanned

My missus told me this one as a true story...just like hundreds of missuses all over europe have done the same at some point.

Her friend's friend was over on holidays some place in europe and hooked up with this guy...long story short she comes home, finds a rash on her face...(lazily copies and pastes for the rest)

A few days later she gets a call from the doc sayn she has to go in, he cant tell her on the phone. When she gets there he says she needs to wait til the police get there before he can tell her, So she waits and when they arrive she's told she's got this disease that can only be caught from being 'intimate' with a corpse.

Anyway the police ask if there is anyone she's been with rrecently that might be that way inclined... (notice how nothing is asked about her being the necrophile, or any further inspection of her is needed), she pulls out the card, police raid the guy's place and find two bodies.

I do remember saying to my girlfriend...there's no way that's true. I swear, she says...haha

Thoie

mikemac wrote: »

Suppose you lost you car keys and they are home but you're stranded somewhere.
And these are those remote control car keys.

You could call the husband/wife and home on the mobile, they could press the remote control for the spare sets of car keys and it would travel over the mobile phone network and the signal could open your car.

I've probably explained it badly but it's a well known one

I've never really got that - now you're in your car, but you're still stranded unless the missus at home can also give you instructions on how to hotwire it over the phone. Maybe it would be more useful if you'd locked the keys in the car.

WoollyRedHat

abouttobebanned wrote: »

My missus told me this one as a true story...just like hundreds of missuses all over europe have done the same at some point.

Her friend's friend was over on holidays some place in europe and hooked up with this guy...long story short she comes home, finds a rash on her face...(lazily copies and pastes for the rest)

A few days later she gets a call from the doc sayn she has to go in, he cant tell her on the phone. When she gets there he says she needs to wait til the police get there before he can tell her, So she waits and when they arrive she's told she's got this disease that can only be caught from being 'intimate' with a corpse.

Anyway the police ask if there is anyone she's been with rrecently that might be that way inclined... (notice how nothing is asked about her being the necrophile, or any further inspection of her is needed), she pulls out the card, police raid the guy's place and find two bodies.

I do remember saying to my girlfriend...there's no way that's true. I swear, she says...haha

Ye that's been proved to be fake by snopes

mikemac

Thoie wrote: »

Maybe it would be more useful if you'd locked the keys in the car.

True

You've explained it better

Spore

psni wrote: »

If you find yourself in the unfortunate situation of being forced to withdraw cash against your will at an ATM, simply type in your PIN backwards to alert the Gardai.

Damn, it's a lie!

Boskowski

psni wrote: »

If you find yourself in the unfortunate situation of being forced to withdraw cash against your will at an ATM, simply type in your PIN backwards to alert the Gardai.

Thats cool, I didnt know that.

Cunny-Funt

Zillah wrote: »

Can't remember what I said but it was something like "Wtf?!" She explained, in dead serious tones, that every time you light a cigarette from a candle a sailor somewhere dies. I shit you not.

When I tried to explain that this made no sense she went on to explain in melodramatic tones, with a hand on her heart, that I could only understand if I had ever lost someone at sea.

Please tell me you told her she was an idiot and proceeded to light multiple smokes from candles at every table?

I mean, what age was she?

Silly americans...

deco05ie

psni wrote: »

If you find yourself in the unfortunate situation of being forced to withdraw cash against your will at an ATM, simply type in your PIN backwards to alert the Gardai.

what if your pin is a palindrome?

dublinario

deco05ie wrote: »

what if your pin is a palindrome?

That triggers the apocalypse, unfortunately. It's a glitch in the system, and quite a destructive one at that.

Capt'n Midnight

Zillah wrote: »

So I was out in a bar a couple months ago with some friends and an American lady who had kind of invited herself along. Being in Bolivia we were able to smoke inside, and finding that I had no lighter handy I leaned in to light my cigarette from the candle in the centre of the table. The lady who was with us screamed in horror and dragged me away from the candle. Can't remember what I said but it was something like "Wtf?!" She explained, in dead serious tones, that every time you light a cigarette from a candle a sailor somewhere dies

Talk about chinese whispers
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_on_a_Match_(superstition)

The superstition goes that if three soldiers lit their cigarettes from the same match, the man who was third on the match would be shot. Since then it has been considered bad luck for three people to share a light from the same match.

The belief was that when the first soldier lit his cigarette, the sniper would see the light; when the second soldier lit his cigarette from the same match, the sniper would take aim and note if the soldier was friendly or foe; when the third soldier lit his cigarette from the same match, the sniper would fire.

Capt'n Midnight

The mythbusters are even more sinister.

Terry

Paddy Samurai wrote: »

I was in the Blackforrest a few years ago.Walking along this track i came accross this Old Hag in a broken down hut.
She told me a spell for making people vanish ,poof!...up in smoke,gone,just like that!................not like that!..............like that!.
What you do is key in a user Id backwards 3 times ,while bollock naked ,covered in mustard and shouting "Out vile devil!"

So here goes.....................halliz,hillaz,hillaz


Eh..........did it work?.

No. You spelled it wrong.

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Oh no! My PIN is a palindrome!

It's 8008, isn't it?

Dave!

Well my mate recently pointed out to me that "we only use 10% of our brain", and put it to me that, if we used that other 90%, we could perform all sorts of crazy mental feats.

I had to break it to him that that is in fact a bullsh*t myth...

Zillah

Cunny-Funt wrote: »

Please tell me you told her she was an idiot and proceeded to light multiple smokes from candles at every table?

I mean, what age was she?

Silly americans...

She was 35 or so. We had a conversation where I basically tried to get her to understand that there was no reason to believe this and that believing these sorts of stories leaves her open to anything anyone feels like making up. She was so into it, with such real upset, that I couldn't bring myself to be anything more than a little baffled. Plus we were quite off our faces at the time.

I do take a slight relish lighting smokes from candles these days though.

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

The belief was that when the first soldier lit his cigarette, the sniper would see the light; when the second soldier lit his cigarette from the same match, the sniper would take aim and note if the soldier was friendly or foe; when the third soldier lit his cigarette from the same match, the sniper would fire.

Haha, that's pretty awesome thanks to the plausibility. It makes perfect sense, the longer you hold a lit match the greater the chances that a sniper will take a shot.

Zapho

www.snopes.com for all your urban legend needs. Be warned though, I wasted a lot of working days reading this site....

Aisling(",)

I've heard that if a lad is em pleasuring a woman by hand and if she sneezes the muscles contract so much that his fingers will be broken.

they'd have to be some freaky strong muscles

Davie_m

if the wind changes while pulling a funny face, it will stay like that :pac:

Lord Trollington

Aisling(",) wrote: »

I've heard that if a lad is em pleasuring a woman by hand and if she sneezes the muscles contract so much that his fingers will be broken.

they'd have to be some freaky strong muscles

Aisling with the aid of my googus i'd be willing to risk it trying to find out whether this myth is true or not...
i'll also bring a huge tub a pepper with me for the occassion...
All in the Name of science of course!!!

Thoie

Homeopathy.

Kipperhell

A bird flying into your house means somebody in your family will die.

The wife's family are all very superstitious and get freaked out by some strange things

bluto63

If a black cat crosses your path it's bad luck

Capt'n Midnight

Zapho wrote: »

www.snopes.com for all your urban legend needs. Be warned though, I wasted a lot of working days reading this site....

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

The mythbusters are even more sinister.

:eek:

Capt'n Midnight

That it's unlucky to be superstitious.

galwayrush

i often heard that out economy was the envy of Europe and perhaps the World. I know it's not true because we weren't invited to the G20 Summit.:D

Stercus Accidit

the magpie thing.

one for good two for bad yadda yadda..

fcukers are all over UCD, I must be due a golden good luck triplet by now.

ShooterSF

Stercus Accidit wrote: »

the magpie thing.

one for good two for bad yadda yadda..

fcukers are all over UCD, I must be due a golden good luck triplet by now.

Actually you were. I was sent to deliver a unique master crafted crystal bowl worth over 3grand to you. However whilst walking to your house I saw a magpie. Continuing to walk I (superstisiously) looked up to say hello to him when I tripped over a black cat and smashed your crystal.
Sorry.

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

Stercus Accidit

ShooterSF wrote: »

Actually you were. I was sent to deliver a unique master crafted crystal bowl worth over 3grand to you. However whilst walking to your house I saw a magpie. Continuing to walk I (superstisiously) looked up to say hello to him when I tripped over a black cat and smashed your crystal.
Sorry.

I hear thats also bad luck, here, I've a few spare magpies, you can have them, I'll be down to a silver orphan but heck, you need em more than I do.

marcsignal

"It is easier for a rich man
to get through the eye of a needle,
than it is for a camel t.......

ehhh

.....than is is for a camel to" :pac:

*discreetly gets coat*

Jack Sheehan

JEWS DID 9/11.
JEWS DID 9/11.
JEWS DID 9/11.

Paddy Samurai

Trinny. wrote: »

No. You spelled it wrong.

Damn mustard! .........,nearly went half blind trying out that spell.

dresden8

-Phuqer- wrote: »

If a bird shíts on you it's good luck.

I've been shat on 7 times so far. You'd be surprised how few times I've won the lotto.

Every time somebody tells me that, I feel like kicking them in the nuts and while they're rolling around on the floor clutching their nads in agony, I'll **** on their heads and see how lucky they feel.

Not much I'd suspect.

Valmont

I can't believe no one has mentioned the number one bull**** urban myth of all time:

That everyone eats something like 8 spiders a year while they are asleep.

And before anyone tries to defend this, I want to see a quantitative piece of research from a peer reviewed journal explaining the phenomenon. How in the hell could such a "fact" be established in the first place?! I'm so angry because this was said to me again today for the one millionth time.