She is in the wrong

LegacyUser

i work/ed in the same office as my gf.weve been going out for 2 years.She was made redundant 2 weeks ago with minimum notice.i offered to take her out that night to cheer her up as she was very upset-she refused saying probably not the best time to spend any money,a while later she said she would like to go to dinner and have a bit of fun.i told her that shed said no and i agreed we shouldnt spend money.she got upset again but directed it at me.

we had a fight where i said look youve been let go so your not there anymore and can look for a new job but i now have to realise its a possibility that ill be let go and ive this hanging over my head and im very upset why should i be giving into your demands when youve shown me absolutely no sympathy.she got more upset and said i always try to manipulate situations so there just about me and how could she stay with someone who was incapable of empathy or some bull like that.she made some stupid example about what if she came home and had crashed her car would i be thinking just about how it affected me and that was the most important or would i be worried for her?

i feel like ive just had enough now.she can never accept like here that she was in the wrong.shes always moaning at me and calls it trying to reason.i feel shes trying to control me and im sick of it.i dont know how ive put up with his crap for 2 years.i stopped talking to her and ignored her on her last dayds of work and havent spoken to her since.this is 3 weeks now,ive ignored her texts and im expecting her to come crawling back to me now like she always does but should i turn her away once and for all or should i give her a last chance?if so what should i say to her when she does come back?

LadyE

It was prob her gut reaction when she was let go to not the spend money, then thought about it more and wanted to be spoiled after a crappy day.

Sounds like you were not the most supportive at that difficult time for her, then ignoring her for 3 weeks is totally not on!!!

I hope for her sake that she "doesnt come crawling back like she usually does", sounds liek a toxic relationship to me!

Baraboo

I don't know if you want an answer as you are so sure you are right but I think you are very unsympathetic and un-empathic and non supportive at what is a really difficult time for her. There is lots more I could say but I would be wasting my time.

iseethelight

Your wrong ring and apologise if you want to save your relationship

LegacyUser

did you not read where she was totally unsympathetic to me??? but because im not ignoring my problems to dance attendance on her she pulls this crap.if i had kept talking to her she would have thought she was winning the argument but she needs to learn she cant treat people like this.she cant always think shes the most important no matter what

seanybiker

hmm what kinda car do ya have. That makes a differance.

Ya dont seem happy at all. Ya said you have been putting up with this crap for two years. That kinda tells me you are better off without.
Ya also said "i dont know how i have put up with his crap". Is there something your not telling us . Only messing with ya. Best of luck .

Gary ITR

IMO you were totally in the wrong here. You're peeved that she hasn't given you any sympathy cos you might be let go? Sure any one of us could be let go tomorrow?

Apologise and treat her with respect man. And grow up a little bit

LegacyUser

seanybiker wrote: »

hmm what kinda car do ya have. That makes a differance.

Ya dont seem happy at all. Ya said you have been putting up with this crap for two years. That kinda tells me you are better off without.
Ya also said "i dont know how i have put up with his crap". Is there something your not telling us . Only messing with ya. Best of luck .

i meant to write this not his-sorry cant edit.

most of the time i am happy. shes intelligent, witty, hot, polite, good cook, good cleaner and makes me laugh everyday EXCEPT when shes like this.shes not thinking at all about how stressed i am with the possibilty of losing my job shes only thinking about her job,she thinks her probs are the important ones then accuses me of trying to make everything about me wtf

Mixedup

You couldnt be more in the wrong...

you should have taken her out and paid for the lot, and not taken no for an answer. Doesnt sound from her post that shes giving crap, shes lost her job, and you still have one for now, dont be so cruel.

You probably should break up if thats how you feel about her, i know i wouldnt like to be with some one who could write such horrible things about me, when all i was going through was an awful time anyway.

Joey the lips

I hate to tell you, Your saying your o/h says its always me,me,me,me with you well thats what you sound like in this letter.

I think yes she is very worried, yes she is unsure of the future and while she does not expect you to have all the answers just because she changed her mind about going out there was no need to be so critical.

Although you may be of the same fear she is looking to you for support and you dont seem to be offering it. At least you dont say so in you letter.

If your fed of her leave, thats it just go. your useless in your current state. But if you truly love her sit down and talk to her. Tell her reassuring words like "I love you and we are good together, even if we loose everything I still have you and thats all I need"

Its just a low time for you but I have always believed its how a relationship gets through these times that decides if it will last.

peekyboo

I'm shocked. You poor girlfriend lost her job and then had her boyfriend ignoring her on top of all that. I seriously hope for her sake that she doesn't come 'crawling back'. She could do so much better than you. Here's hoping for her sake she's happier without you.

puglover

Had-Enough wrote: »

did you not read where she was totally unsympathetic to me??? but because im not ignoring my problems to dance attendance on her she pulls this crap.if i had kept talking to her she would have thought she was winning the argument but she needs to learn she cant treat people like this.she cant always think shes the most important no matter what

Are you for real? She was dead right when she said you were making it about you. SHE WAS MADE REDUNDANT! Not you.

As poster above said it was prob a gut reaction to refuse dinner at first. If you were any bit of a decent human being you would've been happy to have the chance to cheer her up when she changed her mind.

Why should she be sympathetic to you. You're only worried that something might happen. Newsflash mate 80% of people in the private sector have that worry. Worst has actually happened for her and instead of being supportive & showing that you care about her (do you??) you've behaved like a selfish immature brat. How dare you treat her like that, and in the office where you both work too, it absolutely disgusts me.

IMO it's all very well being in a relationship when things are all good. You really see a persons true colours when times are bad, and thats when it matters most. You've well and truly shown what you are.

IMO you'll be very lucky if she "comes crawling back" I hope for her sake that she doesn't.

star-pants

I feel like I need to ask what age you guys are - because IMO you're acting a bit childish.

Ok so she might bug you from time to time - but she's the one who has been let go, you still have a job (for now). I'm sure she does worry about you, but it's her that's taken the fall at the moment, so when she changed her mind about going out it was a bit mean going 'no, you said no the first time, I have to take your first answer'.
She got made redundant and the first thing you think is 'well you're free to go find a NEW job... I might be let go too... boohoo for me'. There are 100s of people in your position, but be grateful you've not been let go yet. I don't know if you know - but looking for a new job - ain't that easy. I think you could have given her sympathy for a couple of days at least.

If you have issues with her - perhaps talking things out instead of ignoring her might work. I really can't believe you'd ignore your gf for 3 WEEKS over this. How is that solving anything? And you hope she'll come crawling back?
Whether she was right or wrong - this is not how you solve issues. Talking them out does. Which could be what you perceive to be 'nagging' or whatever.
She might be thinking 'can I put up with his crap much longer' too you know. You might just lose her.

themacdaddy

man you MIGHT lose your job. she LOST her job. She hit the nail on the head IMO. Is cheering your girlfriend up not more important than spending a few bob on a night out? I honestly don't know what you want from this thread, people to agree with you? Where i think the majority of people will find you to be wrong in this case. I do anyway...hope she see sense and doesn't come crawling back.....

Kimia

My god I was horrified when I read the OPs post - it's delusional! Why would she be sympathetic to you - she was the one who got let go and you were worried about (maybe) losing your job too??

And then you ignore her for 3 weeks? Are you kidding me???? How could you do that to someone you are supposed to love?

Your views of a relationship sound terribly one sided - she's a good cook and a good cleaner?? Seriously?

I hope to GOD she doesn't come crawling back and that you continue to ignore her - and then maybe she'll realise that she deserves WAY better than your crap.

Unbelievable.

VeryBerry

Had-Enough wrote: »

said look youve been let go so your not there anymore and can look for a new job but i now have to realise its a possibility that ill be let go and ive this hanging over my head and im very upset why should i be giving into your demands when youve shown me absolutely no sympathy

Your gf has just been let go from her job. But you expect her to show you sympathy because there is a possibility you might also be let go? And you expect her to do this when you've haven't shown her any support or sympathy and she has actually lost her job?? Imagine if you had been made redundant instead of her. How would you feel if she had behaved like you.

The poor girl has lost her job, and instead of being there to support her during a really awful time, you've only thought about yourself. In fact, you've probably made the last 3 weeks of her life even worse by ignoring her - because she's lost her bf as well as her job.

Had-Enough wrote: »

i stopped talking to her and ignored her on her last dayds of work and havent spoken to her since.this is 3 weeks now,ive ignored her texts and im expecting her to come crawling back to me now like she always does but should i turn her away once and for all or should i give her a last chance? if so what should i say to her when she does come back?

Should you give her a last chance? I think you'll be lucky if you ever hear from her again. If she does come back to you after how you've behaved towards her, she's more the fool.

OK, so she might have gotten very emotional and misdirected her anger towards you. But that's understandable, she's going through a really rotten time, she's upset and not thinking rationally. Its times like that when we need our partners to show a bit of compassion and understanding. Not act like teenagers and ignore us.

NewFrockTuesday

work/ed in the same office as my gf.weve been going out for 2 years.

She was made redundant 2 weeks ago

with minimum notice.i offered to take her out that night to cheer her up as she was very upset-she refused saying probably not the best time to spend any money,a while later she said she would like to go to dinner and have a bit of fun.i told her that shed said no and i agreed we shouldnt spend money.she got upset again but directed it at me.

we had a fight where i said look youve been let go so your not there anymore and can look for a new job but i now have to realise its a possibility that ill be let go and ive this hanging over my head and im very upset why should i be giving into your demands when youve shown me absolutely no sympathy.she got more upset and said i always try to manipulate situations so there just about me and how could she stay with someone who was incapable of empathy or some bull like that.she made some stupid example about what if she came home and had crashed her car would i be thinking just about how it affected me and that was the most important or would i be worried for her?

i feel like ive just had enough now.she can never accept like here that she was in the wrong.shes always moaning at me and calls it trying to reason.i feel shes trying to control me and im sick of it.i dont know how ive put up with his crap for 2 years.i stopped talking to her and ignored her on her last dayds of work and havent spoken to her since.

this is 3 weeks now,ive ignored her texts

and im expecting her to come crawling back to me now like she always does but should i turn her away once and for all or should i give her a last chance?if so what should i say to her when she does come

So...let me get this straight.

You havent spoken to her for 3 weeks yet 2 weeks ago you were offerring to bring her out to dinner and cheer her up? Why arent your timelines adding up?

A good cook? A good cleaner?

Ah yes - the timelines dont add up cos youre from the 1950s. (and youre making it up to pass the morning)


Please go back.

Sinall

OP I'm a bit confused - SHE lost her job but you want her to be sympathetic to YOU! So it's all about you and she should just get on with the fact that she has lost her job and focus on you and how you might be feeling!!

Absolutely ridiculous! I hope you can see that now that it is all written down. Read back over your own post as if somebody else has written it - I hope it opens your eyes.

Your poor girlfriend lost her job and then you ignored her on her last days of work - that's just lovely behaviour! She has real problems (no job etc!) and yours are potential problems that might not happen.

If you want her back then begging is a good start. She might not have you though.

EDIT - actually I am wondering if this is for real??

McGinty

i feel like ive just had enough now.she can never accept like here that she was in the wrong.shes always moaning at me and calls it trying to reason.i feel shes trying to control me and im sick of it.i dont know how ive put up with his crap for 2 years.i stopped talking to her and ignored her on her last dayds of work and havent spoken to her since.this is 3 weeks now,ive ignored her texts and im expecting her to come crawling back to me now like she always does but should i turn her away once and for all or should i give her a last chance?if so what should i say to her when she does come back?

You claim that your girlfriend controls you, but by stonewalling her you are being the control freak, your behaviour is selfish and cruel in light of her job loss, I hope she does not come back. I hope she gets sense.

did you not read where she was totally unsympathetic to me??? but because im not ignoring my problems to dance attendance on her she pulls this crap.if i had kept talking to her she would have thought she was winning the argument but she needs to learn she cant treat people like this.she cant always think shes the most important no matter what

You talk of right/wrong, winning arguements. Note that righteousness and being right all the time makes for a lonely companion, I hope you and righteousness have a nice life together because right now that is all you have.

If you want a loving decent relationship, then be that way by talking honestly, by treating people with respect, but if you want to win all the time and be selfish, you will always have a miserable existence.

Blue_Wolf

Your point seems trivial. She lost her job, maybe she over reacted but it was a reaction to losing her job. Not her fault, than you go and ignore her for 3 weeks which for her may be worse than losing her job. I say ya keep ignoring her and give her a chance to be with a better man.

Or perhaps you have explained your point wrong and we are taking you up in the wrong way.

Blue_Wolf

McGinty wrote: »

If you want a loving decent relationship, then be that way by talking honestly, by treating people with respect, but if you want to win all the time and be selfish, you will always have a miserable existence.

This is something that I need to learn myself. I have a problem with argueing. And I think this point from McGinty is very true. Even if you are right, maybe just let it go, tell the other half she's right just to make her happy. I'm trying to learn that it's more important to have a happy girlfriend who can be....right sometimes (at least she thinks she is )

LegacyUser

op here

i wrote the thread so people could show me how to make her see sense or if theres no way she can be reasonable so ill just move on. im very surprised at the responses here. do you not see how much pressure im under tht every day i have to go into work not knowing if its my last?she obviously wasnt good enough at her job and thats why she was made redundant id say so she should have pulled up her socks while she was there.im intelligent and very good at my job and now im very worried about it.when i said that to her she started crying as usual saying im not supportive or caring blah blah blah but we were talking about me and my problems and she makes it about her. theres no question of me supporting her,if we go to the cinema or whatever ill pay but no chance im giving her my hard earned money.she can sign up to the dole like everyone else.thats what its there for.she even had the cheek to point out my personal situations and say im not in a terrible position should i lose my job-ie its worse for her than me like it always is.i dont want to break up but she needs to cop onto herself and behave normally.this me me me cry cry cry isnt normal

Oh The Humanity

Had-Enough wrote: »

did you not read where she was totally unsympathetic to me???

Ehhh DUH ! It wasn't about YOU, SHE lost her job thats a fact. She's allowed a short period of being moany, scared etc

But no, what did you decide to do, turn the situation around to try to make it about YOU, when its not. You might lose your job you might not.

She HAS lost her job

Fact cuts 'might'....get it?

Her situation was more serious than yours. Your was hypothetical and trivial.

You sound very selfish and a bad listener. Oh, and suffering is not a competition. Everything you have written to critisise her you should turn around and tell yourself.

Take the log out of your own eye before you go complaining about the splinter in hers. Dont be such a hypocrite.

Kimia

What's the bets that the OP is absolutely shocked that we are all telling him he is wrong - and that he's now gone to some other board to try and get other chauvinistic boyfriends to agree with his nutball views?

This guy sounds like someone who can never accept that he's wrong or that his views are anything other than truth. Maybe he should form a cult.

dancing_d

wow you are just a gem of a boyfriend aren't you? :rolleyes:

My OH got laid off and I am constantly trying to keep him occupied/ keep his mind off it...take him to cinema, dinners etc etc -

What your girlfriend needed was a sympathetic ear. Your selfishness really is shameful. What's the point in being with someone who doesn't make you feel better about life???

SarahSassy

Had-Enough wrote: »

i meant to write this not his-sorry cant edit.

most of the time i am happy. shes intelligent, witty, hot, polite, good cook, good cleaner and makes me laugh everyday EXCEPT when shes like this.shes not thinking at all about how stressed i am with the possibilty of losing my job shes only thinking about her job,she thinks her probs are the important ones then accuses me of trying to make everything about me wtf

I hope she gets sense and doesnt take you back. What a useless lump you are in the middle of a crisis...

Otis Driftwood

Had-Enough wrote: »

i work/ed in the same office as my gf.weve been going out for 2 years.She was made redundant 2 weeks ago with minimum notice.i offered to take her out that night to cheer her up as she was very upset-she refused saying probably not the best time to spend any money,a while later she said she would like to go to dinner and have a bit of fun.i told her that shed said no and i agreed we shouldnt spend money.she got upset again but directed it at me.

we had a fight where i said look youve been let go so your not there anymore and can look for a new job but i now have to realise its a possibility that ill be let go and ive this hanging over my head and im very upset why should i be giving into your demands when youve shown me absolutely no sympathy.she got more upset and said i always try to manipulate situations so there just about me and how could she stay with someone who was incapable of empathy or some bull like that.she made some stupid example about what if she came home and had crashed her car would i be thinking just about how it affected me and that was the most important or would i be worried for her?

i feel like ive just had enough now.she can never accept like here that she was in the wrong.shes always moaning at me and calls it trying to reason.i feel shes trying to control me and im sick of it.i dont know how ive put up with his crap for 2 years.i stopped talking to her and ignored her on her last dayds of work and havent spoken to her since.this is 3 weeks now,ive ignored her texts and im expecting her to come crawling back to me now like she always does but should i turn her away once and for all or should i give her a last chance?if so what should i say to her when she does come back?

If its a case that the above is a genuine query then I really feel sorry for your GF and she is better off without someone as selfish and thoughtless as you OP.You offered to take her out and she refused,thats fair enough and an understandable reaction.She then changed her mind and admitted she needed some cheering up but you got up on your high horse and refused.What a nice person.Someone you supposedly love swallows their pride and goes to the one person they should be able to rely on and you throw it back in their face and then have the nerve to say she is demanding when she clearly hasnt been in this situation.As I said though,if its a genuine query then you need to take a serious look at yourself OP.

LegacyUser

sorry i meant to say she was let go on 2 weeks notice which was 3 weeks ago. i cant edit posts unreged and im a bit emotional now so just throwing it down as i go along.being with her 2 years i thought shes the one and well end up married but i have doubts now.i dont want to have wasted 2 years with this, i want to make it work and for that to happen she has to see how insane shes being and start acting properly.my family love her and are happy that were going down the marriage road but im not going to marry her if she not going to cop onto herself.we had some sex problems too where she was never up for it, i knows im an attractive guy and shes attractive to.she said some bull about needing to feel close with someone to get excited but weve been going out for 2 years and she doesnt feel close?i got onto her about it and its improved a bit but she s mostly had a few drinks whenever we have sex.she also doesnt liek doing bjs which bothers me.is this the life i want?a moaner,who doesnt support me and doesnt want sex and doesnt give bjs. thats no life.how has she not realised that im not going to accept this and started behaving better?

Oh The Humanity

lol

Yeh, you're right OP. She sounds like an unreasonable witch, you should get rid of her!

omahaid

Sorry dude, everyone here is telling you that you're in the wrong; so is everyone else wrong or are you wrong? I suspect you are wrong...

ellie1

I hope she cops the **** on and dumps your sorry ass.

LegacyUser

omahaid wrote: »

Sorry dude, everyone here is telling you that you're in the wrong; so is everyone else wrong or are you wrong? I suspect you are wrong...

well im the only one experiencing the situation so i suspect im just not putting it across correctly. i am stressed with the possibilty of losing my job and shes been very uncaring then expects me to dedicate y life to her whinging? when i was talking about how stressed i was she had the cheek to say to me that i wasnt in a bad position to be redundant, that my job was necessary and id been there a long time so it would cost them a lot to make me redundant and they would be slow to do that,then pointed out that i live in a house my parents own so i dont pay rent and my only bill is a car loan of 200 a month. seriouc fcuking cheek,im still p!ssed off about it

Sinall

Had-Enough wrote: »

sorry i meant to say she was let go on 2 weeks notice which was 3 weeks ago. i cant edit posts unreged and im a bit emotional now so just throwing it down as i go along.being with her 2 years i thought shes the one and well end up married but i have doubts now.i dont want to have wasted 2 years with this, i want to make it work and for that to happen she has to see how insane shes being and start acting properly.my family love her and are happy that were going down the marriage road but im not going to marry her if she not going to cop onto herself.we had some sex problems too where she was never up for it, i knows im an attractive guy and shes attractive to.she said some bull about needing to feel close with someone to get excited but weve been going out for 2 years and she doesnt feel close?i got onto her about it and its improved a bit but she s mostly had a few drinks whenever we have sex.she also doesnt liek doing bjs which bothers me.is this the life i want?a moaner,who doesnt support me and doesnt want sex and doesnt give bjs. thats no life.how has she not realised that im not going to accept this and started behaving better?

How should she cop onto herself OP.....by serving you better?? Your post comes across as self-absorbed, self-obsessed, selfish and egotistical and without having the least bit of concern for her!

She has had a lucky escape.

Kimia

O my god.

How dare she not give you bjs? Yes dump her on the spot - you deserve someone who will cook for you, clean for you, give you s*x on tap, NEVER question your authority, and someone who will feel lucky for being with a prince like you.

Best of luck with that.

Do you not realise how awful your posts are? You sound like an arrogant, chauvinistic bully and I can't believe you managed to hang on to a girlfriend for 2 years.

Please god let the girlfriend post 'I've just been made redundant and my boyfriend has ignored me for the past 3 weeks because I haven't been sympathetic to him'.

I would take personal pleasure in telling her to dump your ass.

Believe me OP, you are not the 'catch' you think you are. Unless you change your ways you will end up alone, and no matter how 'attractive' you are or how many 'bj's' you think you deserve, you will (hopefully) soon find out that you have nothing to offer a girl, only your ego.

Get over yourself, your posts are pathetic.

Kimia

Sorry I meant to say:

No matter how 'attractive' you THINK you are.

Methinks not so much. Even if you were a stunner of Brad Pitt like proportion, looks will only get you so far, and if you have a horrible ugly personality, that will out.

LegacyUser

im 33 shes 26.i dont get how nobody gets this, i think ive explained it correctly but i guess i must not have.she reads boards so i thought posting this she might see it. i havent heard anything from her about it yet.you all keep saying that she deserves someone who cares, do i not deserve the same?

Sinall

Had-Enough wrote: »

op here

this me me me cry cry cry isnt normal

Don't you see that you come across as being all "me me me cry cry cry"?

Sounds like you are the culprit here and actually doing everything that you accuse her of doing.

John Mason

hey OP

i really think you need to forget about this girl and move on

she has had a lucky escape IMO:rolleyes:

beth-lou

Do your girlfriend a favour and keep ignoring her.

Jesus, how has she put up with you for 2 years!!!!!!!!!
I'm not surprised she doesn't want to have sex with you. I'd say that's probably all about you too.

She's right when she says you're manipulative and turn everying inot a drama about your self. You do.

And ignoring her for three weeks. Come on. What age are you? 12!!!

I hope she stays well away from you. Marraige should definately not be on the cards, at least not for her.

Reality check: She lost her job, not you. Therefore she is the one who needs the sympathy, not you. Cop on.

shmaido

Had-Enough wrote: »

i meant to write this not his-sorry cant edit.

most of the time i am happy. shes intelligent, witty, hot, polite, good cook, good cleaner and makes me laugh everyday EXCEPT when shes like this.shes not thinking at all about how stressed i am with the possibilty of losing my job shes only thinking about her job,she thinks her probs are the important ones then accuses me of trying to make everything about me wtf

Haha, OP are you for real or just a very convincing troll? if you are for real then you're so far in the wrong that you're dillusional to think you're in any way right, that girl deserves better than you mate. Really hope for her sake she doesn't come "crawling back to you". Sad.

ellie1

OP are you for real or just a very convincing troll?

I think he is a troll. No man is that stupid, I hope.:)

Kimia

Had-Enough wrote: »

im 33 shes 26.i dont get how nobody gets this, i think ive explained it correctly but i guess i must not have.she reads boards so i thought posting this she might see it. i havent heard anything from her about it yet.you all keep saying that she deserves someone who cares, do i not deserve the same?

You explained it correctly all right. Read my above post to see what I think of your story.

HOPE your girlfriend sees this and finally dumps you. How she hasn't already boggles my mind.

LegacyUser

Your not in the situation, i am.i experience it and feel what a crazy mess it is. i posted hoping for advice on how i can turn the situation around and make her see sense but people are just insulting me?does nobody see where im coming from.when i said good cook and cleaner i said it in a list of other attributes that i find attractive.i do find a woman who can cook and clean without moaning to be a good thing.i dont like cleaning and certainly dont want to be doing it when im married so im glad she can do that.weve already had arguments because she thinks im too messy.i think if she doesnt like it she knows how to clean it up,doesnt really bother me.she knows who i am by now,if shes trying to change me then she doesnt love me really

cantdecide

I don't believe that you're really meaning these words, OP. Nobody can be that selfish, surely.

OP trust us on this. Stop being defensive, take a deep breath and tell yourself you are wrong wrong wrong and you need to apologize immediately if you have any feelings for this girl (or anyone else for that matter)...

I think she's gone and won't be back, btw...

STUBBORNGIRL

Op - I feel sick and disgusted at your posts! do you realise what century we are living in? you cannot treat women as they are slaves and should bow to your every demand!

you say that you are not going to pay her way and she can join the dole like everyone else - how lovely of you! what a nice thing to say about someone you are supposed to love! Why would you not help her out in this time of need?

Also your comment on how you reckon she should have pulled up her socks and she wouldnt have lost her job - are you for real?? People are being made redundant for various reasons not just because they are bad at their job! i sincerely hope you didnt say that to her! And what have you to be worried about losing your job for? if you are as good at it as you think then you aregoing nowhere!!

All i can say to sum this up is you get what you give in life and what goes around comes around matey so you better be ready for it!! you will meet your match some day and God help you!

Ps: i hope your girlfriend has the common sense to see through your childish manipulative behaviour and give you the silent treatment! And please God let no other girl on boards here ever cross your path!

Kimia

Had-Enough wrote: »

op here

i wrote the thread so people could show me how to make her see sense or if theres no way she can be reasonable so ill just move on. im very surprised at the responses here. do you not see how much pressure im under tht every day i have to go into work not knowing if its my last?she obviously wasnt good enough at her job and thats why she was made redundant id say so she should have pulled up her socks while she was there.im intelligent and very good at my job and now im very worried about it.when i said that to her she started crying as usual saying im not supportive or caring blah blah blah but we were talking about me and my problems and she makes it about her. theres no question of me supporting her,if we go to the cinema or whatever ill pay but no chance im giving her my hard earned money.she can sign up to the dole like everyone else.thats what its there for.she even had the cheek to point out my personal situations and say im not in a terrible position should i lose my job-ie its worse for her than me like it always is.i dont want to break up but she needs to cop onto herself and behave normally.this me me me cry cry cry isnt normal

Ah here.. This can't be real.

No one could be that selfish.

If it's a troll he's done his job well.. I'm enraged!

Wibbs

OK folks lets ease up on the troll calls please

LegacyUser

im really gobsmacked nobody sees my side for a min.can people not put themselves in my place for one min and think how theyd feel over 2 years of this.not very good i tell you.this is just one prob weve had, cleaning is another and sex is another and there are others like any relationship. this is just the straw that broke the camels back so to speak.i want her and to stay with her but i cant live like this

Stheno

Had-Enough wrote: »

op here

i wrote the thread so people could show me how to make her see sense or if theres no way she can be reasonable so ill just move on. im very surprised at the responses here. do you not see how much pressure im under tht every day i have to go into work not knowing if its my last?she obviously wasnt good enough at her job and thats why she was made redundant id say so she should have pulled up her socks while she was there.im intelligent and very good at my job and now im very worried about it.when i said that to her she started crying as usual saying im not supportive or caring blah blah blah but we were talking about me and my problems and she makes it about her. theres no question of me supporting her,if we go to the cinema or whatever ill pay but no chance im giving her my hard earned money.she can sign up to the dole like everyone else.thats what its there for.she even had the cheek to point out my personal situations and say im not in a terrible position should i lose my job-ie its worse for her than me like it always is.i dont want to break up but she needs to cop onto herself and behave normally.this me me me cry cry cry isnt normal

Had-Enough wrote: »

sorry i meant to say she was let go on 2 weeks notice which was 3 weeks ago. i cant edit posts unreged and im a bit emotional now so just throwing it down as i go along.being with her 2 years i thought shes the one and well end up married but i have doubts now.i dont want to have wasted 2 years with this, i want to make it work and for that to happen she has to see how insane shes being and start acting properly.my family love her and are happy that were going down the marriage road but im not going to marry her if she not going to cop onto herself.we had some sex problems too where she was never up for it, i knows im an attractive guy and shes attractive to.she said some bull about needing to feel close with someone to get excited but weve been going out for 2 years and she doesnt feel close?i got onto her about it and its improved a bit but she s mostly had a few drinks whenever we have sex.she also doesnt liek doing bjs which bothers me.is this the life i want?a moaner,who doesnt support me and doesnt want sex and doesnt give bjs. thats no life.how has she not realised that im not going to accept this and started behaving better?

Had-Enough wrote: »

Your not in the situation, i am.i experience it and feel what a crazy mess it is. i posted hoping for advice on how i can turn the situation around and make her see sense but people are just insulting me?does nobody see where im coming from.when i said good cook and cleaner i said it in a list of other attributes that i find attractive.i do find a woman who can cook and clean without moaning to be a good thing.i dont like cleaning and certainly dont want to be doing it when im married so im glad she can do that.weve already had arguments because she thinks im too messy.i think if she doesnt like it she knows how to clean it up,doesnt really bother me.she knows who i am by now,if shes trying to change me then she doesnt love me really

OP you sound like someone from Victorian times, have you ever considered that a relationship is meant to be equal for both parties?

As for the "If she's trying to change me, then she doesn't really love me" that's a bit pot/kettle black imo.

Imo your views and expectations from your relationship are seriously out of date, and your attitude to your girlfriend losing her job is appalling.

LegacyUser

nouggatti wrote: »

OP you sound like someone from Victorian times, have you ever considered that a relationship is meant to be equal for both parties?

As for the "If she's trying to change me, then she doesn't really love me" that's a bit pot/kettle black imo.

Imo your views and expectations from your relationship are seriously out of date, and your attitude to your girlfriend losing her job is appalling.

I can see people dont agree with me but i think everyones missing the point that she gave me no sympathy or anything for being so stressed about my job just expected me to put my hand in my pockets and do everything for her

Kimia

Had-Enough wrote: »

Your not in the situation, i am.i experience it and feel what a crazy mess it is. i posted hoping for advice on how i can turn the situation around and make her see sense but people are just insulting me?does nobody see where im coming from.when i said good cook and cleaner i said it in a list of other attributes that i find attractive.i do find a woman who can cook and clean without moaning to be a good thing.i dont like cleaning and certainly dont want to be doing it when im married so im glad she can do that.weve already had arguments because she thinks im too messy.i think if she doesnt like it she knows how to clean it up,doesnt really bother me.she knows who i am by now,if shes trying to change me then she doesnt love me really

Hire a maid, and spend the rest of your life trying to convince everyone else that they are wrong and that you are right.

Seriously though, read back over what you wrote. How could you possibly stand by those posts?

They are awful, really, awful. I pity any woman who has the bad luck and stupidity to even consider marrying you.

You are doomed to a life alone with that attitude.