Childhood Sweethearts- Do they last?

allandanyways

Sorry if this has been done to death, but my sister just said something to me that got me thinking- do "childhood sweethearts" last?

My sister is 16 and has been seeing her boyfriend for the last 6 months. During an arguement today about how she spends more time with him than she does studying (which was between her and dad but I stupidly got involved), she screamed that she can spend as much time as she likes with him because "I can repeat my leaving cert but I can't repeat my one true love. I'm going to marry him, so yous can both fcuk off!" She has had other bfs so it's not like she's just mad about him cos he's her first bf, although perhaps her first serious one.

Anyways I was just wondering if any TLLers are still with/had a long term relationship with their first boyfriend/first serious boyfriend/first male best friend etc?

Cmol

I know this is a little bit 'friend of a friend' but two girls I work with are both in their mid twenties, both still with their first boyfriends 10ish years later

Royal Seahawk

I'm 26 and my fiance is 24. I've been going out with her since she was 16.

Dudess

Well if you mean "last" as in into one's 20s/maybe early 30s, yes, I've heard of them.

Lasting beyond that though... haven't heard of it myself.

ChewChew

My sister met her husband the night of her debs. He went with her as a blind date and literally only met him when he knocked on her door the day of the debs.

They are together 10 years and are now married 4 years and have 2 kids!

Salome

My brother has been with the same girl since he was 15 - married at 21 and they both turned 40 this year - 3 kids later.

I'm not saying it works for everyone though but they are as happy as they were when they were 15 and they've been through some hard times together.

Lucky I guess.

bnagrrl

Going out with my b/f since I was 17, I'm 25 now and we're getting married this summer.

beertons

My cousin is with her man since she was 15. She's 37 now, married with 3 kids. I think we have a photo of a family gathering when I was really young, and the two of them are beside me in our house. So yeah, sometimes they do last!

idontknowmyname

My sister was 17 when she got engaged to her boyfriend of 6 months (madness I know) but they got married when she was 21, that was almost 3 years ago, 21 month old and she's 7 months pregnant again.

My friend from college has been with her boyfriend almost 10 years, they're both 26- went to the same college then as well, they bought a house together last year- no ring on her finger yet but only a matter of time!

tribulus

I've been with my girlfriend seven years by the end of this year. I'd imagine a large percentage don't last but some certainly do*.

I think a lot of the time it comes down to when they finish college or change career etc. - just general growing up really. One or both either become too different to each other or else finally realise (or maybe finally *admit*) they were very different to begin with. The common example I've seen being that one person decides they want to spend a year travelling the world and seeing new places where as the other person has started their career and isn't willing to put it aside.

Of course often it just comes down to luck that two people who get together so young end up having the same direction in life but a large part of it is being genuinely suited to eachother and being able to grow into a healthy adult relationship together, which to be fair is no small feat given the amount of people considerably older in relationships that are still acting and saying things that you'd expect from a pair of fifteen year olds!


* That's not to say I think we've personally "lasted" with still so much ahead.

aoibhebree

I don't think it happens very often, but it's definitely definitely possible.

I know someone who met her husband when she was 17, just started college. They got engaged that Christmas - just three months later! - despite major objections from both families, got married a year after that when she was still a student (he dropped out) and they're now in their mid-thirties, four kids, and extremely happy. I do think that this is an exception rather than the rule, but it proves that it's possible.

Jules

A certain 6th met Mrs 6th when he was like 15/16 and they are now married and have two kids some 18ish years later!

Sorry 6th if i got dates/ages wrong, but the point is right!

banshee_bones

My cousin met his current girlfriend when he was 17/18 they are still together 5 years later. Last family gathering i heard talk of houses and engagements so i guess yeah it does happen....

stovelid

Know a couple that met at 17 or so, and now married with a kid in their mid thirties.

shezzie

no for me i broke up with my first boyfriend who was also my first serious boyfriend after four and a half years and an engagement later we finished when i was 20 young and nieve....doesnt work for everyone but i certainly wouldnt have spoken to my dad like your sis did and live to tell the tale....and at the end of it family are always there

allandanyways

Huh! I didnt think I'd get so many "heck yes!" responeses! that's really cool that relationships can work out so well when so young. Personally I don't think the sister and her fella will last (mainly cos he's an attention seeking muppet, she'll get bored eventually, plus they're only 16, still going to underage discos and the like, they've a while to go yet me thinks...:rolleyes:)

I got with my OH when I was 17 *interruption, that reminds me of that song "When I was 17... I drank a very good beer"/interruption over*... ANYWAY yeah I'd just gone 17, halfway through 1st year in college and he was my 2nd serious boyfriend... I'm only 19 now but even still... I wouldnt be making house and garden plans just yet like my sister... Never know what's around the corner and all, but fairplay to all the couples who've made it so far from so young- some cool stories up there...:)

Latchy

I often think about a childhood sweetheart .Also girls I use to go to school ,or hang out with and often wonder whom they married ( if at all ) and were they now live .

banshee_bones

Yeah i too think of my first boyfriend i had at 14/15 and i suppose at that age you do think it will work and naieve and all as we were we too had house/car/kids/house/pets/white-picket-fence thing all sussed out..
oh god im cringeing just thinking about it!!!

Sútalún

latchyco wrote: »

and were they now live .

Careful now...

Dudess

My first love - I was 14 and all it was was a snog, nothing more came of it... but oh god I was smitten! Yeah, I think I'd like the grown-up version of him too...

Joey the lips

Love the subject!

Started going out with my O/H when I was 17 she was 16. Had been going out with her for a week when we were 14/13. The second time we said we would treat it not to serious but it was not a casual sex relationship either just not to serious.

I am now 34 and married to her. I dont want to get much into stats. My oh was very tin when I met her. But she has developemt in the mens appreciation areas( chest and bum) so as well as growing to love her for what she is she has also physically matured to the perfect figure. Not that this matters but my friend notice and ar not afraid to say it, the sh1ts!!

I often tell her I am glad I got her when I did as somebody far better would have her now. She jokes and says "Who says they havent"

Child hood sweerhearts do exists but I think the trick is not to look for it just let it progress. Myself and the other half did not have sex till we were 19/18 so we really had no pressure in the relationship which I think helped it.

Kids are at a very difficult age 15 - 18 I dont think as parents you will steer them if they are set on a course I just hope mine are senseable enough to know that although they might spend the rest of their life together it would be far nicer to spend it with a little financial security a strong career brings.

But that said I could be homeless and pennyless and my feelings would not change for my other half so yes I think they can last!

When she was doing her leaving I was starting college so I would leave to study and so would she.

I think the maturity to handle a relationship at 16 is there the trick is just not to focus on it, go to fast or pressure to much

Even then its all about respect

emy-87

I starting going out with my boyfriend when we were just 17, were now 21 and still together, We are planning on moving in together in 2 years or so, and are very happy! together 5 years this August. That said, when we were doing our Leaving Cert, we were only allowed see each other once a week, so our studies were not affected. OP, I think childhood sweethearts do last in some cases, but your sisters studies should take precedence at least for 6th year. Hope that helps!

sunnyjim

My parents kicked it off when they were teens, still going pretty strong over 35/36 years later.

Peared

I'm another one with a story.

My sister met a fella when she was 16, first real boyfriend. She is now 35, married with two kids.

Not for me, that. Good lord no.

minidazzler

My Aunt and Uncle are together 20 years, they have been together since she was 14 and he was 17/18.

So Ya, it can work.

Quality

I married my childhood sweetheart!!

We first met on the 30th of September 1995. We are now married with 3 kids... I love him more every day....

We have had our ups and downs and it was a rocky start. But we are more settled now.

I am 29, was just turned 16 when I met him, he is almost 4 years older than me. I am nearly half my life with him now.

Peared

Quality wrote: »

I married my childhood sweetheart!!

We first met on the 30th of September 1995. We are now married with 3 kids... I love him more every day....

We have had our ups and downs and it was a rocky start. But we are more settled now.

I am 29, was just turned 16 when I met him, he is almost 4 years older than me. I am nearly half my life with him now.

Aw, and you make gorgeous babies together too

Cosmo K

Got divorced from my 'childhood sweethart' six years ago, we met when we were both 16, stayed together for 13 years.........but it wasn't a happy ending.

hunter164

minidazzler wrote: »

My Aunt and Uncle are together 20 years, they have been together since she was 14 and he was 17/18.

So Ya, it can work.

Your Uncle was a bit of a perv :pac:

minidazzler

hunter164 wrote: »

Your Uncle was a bit of a perv :pac:

By together I meant Married, so it's not really that bad. They got married when she was 20, so it was back 26/27 years ago, when that sort of thing was OK. and he had known her all his life.

Meh, It's OK for the time anyway!!!

vanessamee

I hooked up with my husband when i was only 15, we dated for a year and broke up. i dated alot of other guys after that, he moved away for years and came back to Ireland in 2001 and we married in 2003 and have two fab little boys so faith dealt me my first love years after x:)

PrivateEye

My mam and dad are together since they were 16, poor man.

I have one pair of mates who've been together since Junior Cert times (We're all now 1st/2nd year college). Makes you feel all warm and happy even looking at them, restores your faith in all that stuff. Personally, think its great. I'd never commit myself to 'FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER' stuff but I think the '....up and sneak out the door' attitude of most young folk today is a bit eh...wrong. Childhood sweetheart stuff is

congo_90

My parents made it to their late 40's before they really started to hate each other and only divorced recently after gettin married at 21 so that'll tell ya.

On a more recent note, I don't think so from personal experience of having been there done that twice with two amazing women and long term relationships. one being my first kiss years ago and no contact for 8 years. Another being someone who inevitably left me for another man (my old best friend).

shezzie

if you have a guy who is llike your best friend who treats you right you can laugh and cry with then dont wonder whats on the other side of the pond - the grass is not always greener and there are many toads who treat their women badly....when its good enjoy every second of it and if thats for the rest of your life then you are a very lucky lady indeed...hope this helps:)

sugar_smile

Me and my bf are together 9 yrs this yr. We were friends first before we started going out when I was 15 (he was 18). We love each other as much now as we did at the start if not more. Like the OPs sister we were very intense right from the start, spending every free second together-although my bf would always try to encourage that I put my studies first-it was hard to do though & when your young and in love studies are the last thing on your mind!
Our secret to lasting are down to the following:be honest with each other-don't be afraid to talk about anything, have fun together, respect each other, laugh out loud with each other every single day, and have fights-they're healthy but get over them & move on!!! I'm not saying it works for everyone, but at the end of the day i'm truly happy!

NewFrockTuesday

Lots of lovely stories

HHmm.. Have to say no. Was with teh nicest guy on the planet from 14ish - 21 ish. Hes married with a baby girl now and happy as larry. Sometimes it nice to see life turn out good for someone you did love, you can be happy for them form a distance and reap the rewards of their friendship.

raven136

Have to say i think they do.

Myself and the wife are married 2 years and have been together since we were 14,both 26 now.

gowayouttadat

I first scored with my boyfriend when I was 15. We went on a few "dates" over the space of a few weeks/months... nothing serious, very casual as it normally is at that age. Then we both kinda decided that I was a bit young for anything more, he's a small bit older, so we left it but used to speak on the phone every few weeks. Even back then we could talk the ear off each other. The phone calls used to last at least an hour every time. When I was 17 we decided to go out properly and see how it went. We started going out about two or three months before my leaving cert and have been together since. That was 8 years ago. Our first few dates were 10 years ago (scary!!). Now we've a house and are expecting a baby in August.
I could never imagine myself with anyone else. Even after all this time we could spend weeks together, just the two of us, and end up having a savage laugh. I still smile when I hear his voice on the phone and look forward to getting home to him in the evenings.


*edit*
On the other side of the coin a guy I work with was with his wife since they were 14. Total childhood sweethearts, travelled the world together, came home, settled down and got married. When they were 33/34 she finished it. Turns out she was having an affair with a neighbour and within a year was pregnant with his kid.
So happens both ways.

tantipie

i started going out with my guy 18yrs ago today:p,,married 8 yrs, 3 kids and we still only 33:D

Lilyblue

Yes I married my childhood sweetheart almost 4 years ago! We are together 11 years, since I am 15 and love him more than ever, he is my best friend! I still think its important for young people to do well in school and have friends too!

The Sweeper

I know quite a few people who hooked up in their teens and are still togehter in their forties.

Seems sweet, but just because they're still together now, and still good together, that doesn't mean they haven't been through the wringer.

In every "Met in our teens, still going strong now in our forties with bunch of near-adult kids" relationship I know of, they've had major issues. In every last one of them, at some point when the kids were still pre-teen, the guy had enough and either had a quiet affair or actually openly ran off with the other woman for a few months before coming crawling back.

In at least one of them, the woman did something similar when the kids were all in their mid to late teens.

What keeps them together does seem to be the age they met at. They were the first for each other, they grew up together, they know each other's background and history and what made them, they're like an extension of each other. That deep familiarity seems to be what allows them to forgive and move on. I wonder if it's what also keeps them together - a couple who met in their early thirties and hit a rough patch in their mid thirties seem more likely to split up. Maybe it's because there's so much more unknown about the other person.

Perhaps when you're with someone since scratch, yes they can still hurt you, but they don't have the ability to make you question and doubt your whole self the way a less familiar person could. To me, much of the inability to forgive infidelity comes from the damaged view of themselves the cuckolded person is left with - this niggling thought that you're not good enough and you never will be, and your other half has this whole secret life with these secret desires. Perhaps when you've known someone forever, you understand more about why they cheat and you know in your heart of hearts it's because of them, not because of you - hence you forgive them and move on.

So yes, I think childhood sweethearts can work out long term, but I don't think it's all rose petals and cherubs.

Twee.

Dudess wrote: »

My first love - I was 14 and all it was was a snog, nothing more came of it... but oh god I was smitten! Yeah, I think I'd like the grown-up version of him too...

Haha, that's just like me! Took me a very long time to get over it, and then last year he appears again "Oooh I really like you" etc. Too little too late man.
One of mates is convinced one day we'll get back together and fall madly in love :rolleyes:

tantipie

i dont think in any relationship it's rose petals and cherubs all the time,,i wouldn't change a thing about my life,,not because he is safe and that's all i know,,it's because i love him to bits and could never see myself with anyone else,,

Hagar

I started going out with my wife when she was 15 and I was 17.
I'm 52 now, so far so good, I'll let you know how it works out.

CathyMoran

First met my husband when we were 21, does that count? We did grow up together though (I needed to grow up a lot more than him ), had a lot of ups and downs, most of them my fault but have been unbelievably happy together (even though our life has been hard) since late September 2006...my mum and dad first met one another when they were 12 but did not start to date until they were 17, they are married over 47 years...they adore one another and he is nursing her in ill health now.