"Can I 'borrow' a cigarette please?"

gimmick

I have not smoked cigarettes in almost 10 years now, but the subject question still pisses me right off. What does it even mean? By saying borrow, it implies you will get the same fag back. As this is patently not the case, the thrifty person asking the question is not only a cheapskate, but also a liar.

For the record, my stock response when I used smoke and was asked this question by a stranger was usually "F*ck off".

Are there any other such questions which wrecks your head.

RATM

It seems it can be next to impossible to walk thru Dublin city center whilst smoking a fag without getting asked for one by some bum.

Far as Im concerned when they're €8 a pack there's no feckin' way you're getting any of mine. Get a job like the rest of us, you loser !

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

Pighead

Jack Handy was spot on when he said people were becoming far too critical. In future gimmick, before you critisize someone , you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Wagon

gimmick wrote: »

Are there any other such questions which wrecks your head.

Not questions, but phrases. Like taht posy "People's Republic of Cork" that I used to see all the time. My god, what a lie that was.

Mr.Lizard

"Can I 'borrow' a cigarette please?"

It's a disgusting habit.

Pighead

Wagon wrote: »

Not questions, but phrases. Like taht posy "People's Republic of Cork" that I used to see all the time. My god, what a lie that was.

What the hell is this?! You can't just change the parameters of the thread to suit your own needs. gimmick is asking us for annoying questions not phrases.

What you have done is akin to waltzing into a thread about apples only to start banging on about oranges. Poor form Wagon. Pighead doubts the mods are gonna be too happy about this.

Smart Bug

Pighead wrote: »

What the hell is this?! You can't just change the parameters of the thread to suit your own needs. gimmick is asking us for annoying questions not phrases.

What you have done is akin to waltzing into a thread about apples only to start banging on about oranges. Poor form Wagon. Pighead doubts the mods are gonna be too happy about this.

Reported for OT posting...



Most hated question, hmm,

"Will ye gis a yarro fer a hastel meeeeeestarrrrrrrrr?"

At about 3-a-fukkin-clock in the morning

Kintarō Hattori

gimmick wrote: »

I have not smoked cigarettes in almost 10 years now, but the subject question still pisses me right off. What does it even mean? By saying borrow, it implies you will get the same fag back. As this is patently not the case, the thrifty person asking the question is not only a cheapskate, but also a liar.

For the record, my stock response when I used smoke and was asked this question by a stranger was usually "F*ck off".

Are there any other such questions which wrecks your head.

Absolutely no need for that. You could have just said no.

Pighead

Smart Bug wrote: »

Reported for OT posting...

Deserved that. Good call Smart Bug. If a ban is forthcoming don't blame yourself. Pighead brought this on himself with his blatant off topic posting.

Reminds him of that time he went to the cinema to see Terminator but daydreamed the whole way through it thinking about Streethawk. End result was a wasted cinema ticket and a brain full of thoughts of a pretty average episode of Streethawk. Moral of the story: Always try to stay on topic.

Wagon

Pighead wrote: »

What the hell is this?!

It's a comment you baffoon!

What you have done is akin to waltzing into a thread about apples only to start banging on about oranges.

I can assure you that not a single form of dance was performed. Paltry defamation young man.

Poor form Wagon. Pighead doubts the mods are gonna be too happy about this.

I fear no mods. I'm fully aware that the first letter of the word 'mods' is only 7 away from 'G' but I have faith in other mods. Like Dragan and his incredable spinning forks of fury.

here.from.day.1

Mr.Lizard wrote: »

It's a disgusting habit.

Asking for cigarettes?

me-skywalker

That phrase got me many a ride!

woman 'can i borrow a smoke?'
woman 'can i have a light?'
me ' can i havea kiss?'

great success!

Smart Bug

me-skywalker wrote: »

That phrase got me many a ride!

woman 'can i borrow a smoke?'
woman 'can i have a light?'
me ' can i havea kiss?'

great success!

Yeah?! Deadly!!

*rushes out to buy a pag of fags & condoms, ribbed for her pleasure*

Pighead

Wagon wrote: »

It's a comment you baffoon!

Its buffoon, you buffoon!

Denerick

"Can I have a fag budddd..."

"No, F**k off"

"Whaddya mean??"

"I said go f**k yourself you piece of ****"

*Punch* (As in, he punched me)

True story of what happened one night when I was rotten. Got a real hiding but I kept my pride!

dr.bollocko

Wagon wrote: »

It's a comment you baffoon!

I fear no mods. I'm fully aware that the first letter of the word 'mods' is only 7 away from 'G' but I have faith in other mods. Like Dragan and his incredable spinning forks of fury.

Pighead wrote: »

Its buffoon, you buffoon!

Please refrain from the 1970s oriented personal abuse there chappies.

Snowie

thats like saying can i burrow some water please better of just saying can I have a cigerate isnsted of can i burrow you burrow a cd or a book you can burrow a cigerate...

Pighead

dr.sucks.bollocko wrote: »

Please refrain from the 1970s oriented personal abuse there chappies.

Pighead can dig that. Catch you on the flip side Dr. Be there or be square.:cool:

Wagon

dr.sucks.bollocko wrote: »

Please refrain from the 1970s oriented personal abuse there chappies.

If you say so

Pighead wrote: »

Its buffoon, you buffoon!

Fecker :P

Mr. Incognito

Is this thread to re-enforce your sense of Cavanesque scabbiness. ??

I generally hand out smokes to my friends and beautiful ladez and they do they same. We have mutual love and affection these beautiful strangers and I.

You have all the cancer for yourself.

Hogzy

Why cant one just say... "oh sorry iv none left"
Your being nice and there no risk of being punched!!!

chin_grin

"Can I borrow some bog roll" - Yeah I have the same qualm.

Borrowing denotes that you're going to give it back. Whereas what they should say is "Sorry I am poor and going to play to your generosity by asking you for a cigarette that I shall smoke and enjoy because I haven't paid for it."

Well, I don't smoke and I used to be "that" smoker where I'd do it to mates because I was out drinking. It got to the stage (snif) where I bought a pack just to give it back to my mate. But I'm ok now........it has a Disney ending.

Smart Bug

"Can I borrow your gf? Promise I'll give her back when I'm finished."

Ended up borrowing some saline in hospital instead.

S.I.R

next time someone asks you for a smoke, just give them one...


jasus, you'd swear the things are in short supply,


worst comes to worst....


use this:


" Can i borrow a smoke "

No

" why ?? "

Can you speak chinese ??

" wise guy eh ?? "

I fcuking wish


you know where it goes from here.

Hogzy

S.I.R wrote: »

next time someone asks you for a smoke, just give them one...


jasus, you'd swear the things are in short supply,

Ok i go up to someone and ask them for a car... its not as if theyre in short supply!
Silly comment you made

Pighead

This thread serves Pighead as a reminder as to just how scabby his so called friends are.

"Hi Pighead, any chance you can give me the back the €500 I lent you last year?"
"Hey there Piggy, can I have the Lawnmower I lent you last summer back please? The old grass needs cutting"
"Hello Pighead, any chance you can return the underpants you borrowed from me last month?"

Scabs the lot of them. It's take, take take with some people.

Helix

ive never once heard anyone asking to borrow a smoke

Pighead

Helix wrote: »

ive never once heard anyone asking to borrow a smoke

Pigheads never once heard a chinaman tell his wife he loves her. Doesn't mean it's never happened though.

It just means Pighead doesn't speak or understand Chinese.

Wagon

Asian or not, the OP is from cork. I have to stress the cork problem.

gimmick

I have only come to after hours to educate.

Lobelia Overhill

An American friend of mine used to say to anyone asking to "bum a smoke" (as they call in in America) "no, but you can buy a smoke from me ..." and charge them a nickle or dime, or whatever it was. They used to pay up too

(I resisted the urge to say cough up)

I hate it when people tell me to tell my mother that they were "asking for her".

asking for her what?

tony1kenobi

me-skywalker wrote: »

That phrase got me many a ride!

woman 'can i borrow a smoke?'
woman 'can i have a light?'
me ' can i havea kiss?'

great success!

I've tried that and it only ever gets me a slap:

Woman: Can I borrow a smoke
Me: Why don't you smoke my cock

Slap.

aoibhebree

The worst is when you're out with non-smoking friends, and they get drunk and decide they want to start smoking all of a sudden, but rather than buying their own - "Oh well I don't really smoke so there's no point", they just "borrow" one of yours ... and another ... and another ... and do this every time they go out. Yet still refuse to admit that they smoke.

Darragh29

Skanger: "Have you any spare change bud???"

Answer: "Sure do, it's at home in me spare wallet mate!"

:D:D

smileykey

I don't smoke and tell people such when asked for the "lend" of a cigarette but twice I've had annoying asswipes giving out to me for lying to them, telling me i'm stingy and if I really, for some tight arsed reason, don't want to give them one at least be honest. Who the hell are these people to tell the people they are begging from that they are stingy!?

pierrot

Can I borrow some bog roll?

Ainm

smileykey wrote: »

I don't smoke and tell people such when asked for the "lend" of a cigarette but twice I've had annoying asswipes giving out to me for lying to them, telling me i'm stingy and if I really, for some tight arsed reason, don't want to give them one at least be honest. Who the hell are these people to tell the people they are begging from that they are stingy!?

That's happened me a few times too! Madness. I wasn't even in the smoking area or anything.

Hazys

A buddy of mine was hammered in New York and was staying in a hostel in which can be a dodgy enough area, went up to a bunch of guys standing on a corner and asked them:

"Can I bum a fag off ya?"

Luckily nothing happened but its funny how things can get lost in translation.

Yeah I dunno why this only seems to happens with smokes. I've never been asked by a randomer for a bite of my chocolate bar or a bit of my can of coke.
I always just say no. Or if I have my headphones in I just shake my head.

UNLESS the person is nice and polite - y'know the type who'll offer to buy a smoke off you for a euro or two in a smoking area - then I'll give them one for free because if I was gonna be a bum I'd like to think I'd go the polite route and not the ignorant scumbag route.

In my younger days when I had just started smoking I'd almost be intimidated into giving people one and 99% of the time they don't even light it.

One time my mate was asked by some little runt outside mcdonalds on grafton street for one. He was smoking rollies and said to the guy I only have rollies. And the guy goes "well roll me one then".
Que my mate taking mad offense to this and it almost kicking off then and their.

Smokes aren't the problem, it's the people.

gimmick

That reminds me actually - a buddy of mine years ago was walking along minding his own business, when some little tennage rat boy walks right into him

"you, gimme a fag.....................and a quid"

"nah biy"

rat boy then pulls a knif eont he buddy. The buddy was not to perturbed as said knife was a butter knife, so he just laughed at him and did not hand over the fag or the quid.

S.I.R

Hogzy wrote: »

Ok i go up to someone and ask them for a car... its not as if theyre in short supply!
Silly comment you made

cigarettes work out at what between 30-50 cent a piece ??


nothing at all you stingy peoples. :rolleyes:

seanybiker

years ago some fella asked me brother for a smoke and me brother said no. Me man went to jump on me bro and me bro kicked the crap outta him. Broke his nose and all. Was funny.


In the pub I always leave me smokes on the table/bar and any time I go out for a smoke i just take one out and leave the box back down incase anyone around me wants one. Sometimes one of the lads will take one cos he cant be arsed to roll his own but thats grand. Everyone else just works away. A few of us do it. Meh this only a few smokes.

MIN2511

I think of it as it's only cigarettes so i always give when i have... Remember being in Krystle and i had 3 different brands, a girl asked cigs and i asked her to choose also gave her bf/partner 2...

I am a social smoker who never bought hers until a good freind told me that people thought twas rude especially if they have to give me cause they know me.... So since then i always buy smokes and i give to everyone who ask

It's only smokes... twould only kill us all

LiNgWiStIkZ

I fúcking hate when people do that, even though I don't smoke.

Oh, also:


Random girl: "Do you have a light?"

Me: "Sorry, I don't smoke"

Random girl: "I DIDN'T F*CKING ASK YOU IF YOU SMOKED OR NOT!! I hate when people say that! *walks off in a huff*"




Cue my laughter!

Ponster

gimmick wrote: »

By saying borrow, it implies you will get the same fag back. As this is patently not the case, the thrifty person asking the question is not only a cheapskate, but also a liar.

That's not what it means. It means that what goes around comes around. The day that you have no ciggies you can then "borrow" one from a strange therefore getting the one you "borrowed" back!

Mr.Lizard

This all reminds me of the time someone at work asked me "could they borrow 10 euro until tomorrow". I said sure and gave them a tenner from my wallet. The next they the same person came up to me handing me 10 euro and said thanks for the loan. However, when I checked the serial number on the note I realised this wasn't the same 10 euro note they had 'borrowed' a day previously. Clearly they had used the money I gave them for something or other and then replaced the note hoping I wouldn't notice! You just cannot trust some people :mad:

zonEEE

ah should see it in school, i would usually buy a pack of fags every two days and the amount of little ****es in first and 2nd year coming up asking for a fag everyday is unreal, fair enough i give people fags if i no at some stage when im stuck ill get one but there's these people who scab there way through school everyday.

Gummy Panda

LiNgWiStIkZ wrote: »

Random girl: "Do you have a light?"

Me: "Sorry, I don't smoke"

Random girl: "I DIDN'T F*CKING ASK YOU IF YOU SMOKED OR NOT!! I hate when people say that! *walks off in a huff*"

Should've punched her in the back of the head. That will teach her for being a cnut

Captain-America

gimmick wrote: »

I have not smoked cigarettes in almost 10 years now, but the subject question still pisses me right off. What does it even mean? By saying borrow, it implies you will get the same fag back. As this is patently not the case, the thrifty person asking the question is not only a cheapskate, but also a liar.

For the record, my stock response when I used smoke and was asked this question by a stranger was usually "F*ck off".

Are there any other such questions which wrecks your head.

When people ask me how I am. I mean, what the fúck? Nosey bastards. Its ridiculous. I can't walk down the street anymore without somebody talking to me.:)

KeyLimePie

Hmmm now that I think about it, i give away ciggerates way too easily....in fact i've given whole packets away to random people in the street \\

but i don't usually mind lending to friends, but if it's in a smoking room and someone seems nice why the hell not