Help me NOT CRY on my wedding day!!!

NewJob

Hi,

I'm getting married next year, and am hoping you ladies can help!

My biggest fear about the day is not the aisle part, or the vows part, or the first dance, it's turning into a blubbering idiot with a puffy red face and streaky mascara!!

I'm a really emotional person, and an 'ugly' crier! It's terrible. Even watching strangers get married on t.v can get me choked up! I want to be able to enjoy my day with a smile on my face and not worry that i'm going to cry every time someone says something nice! I'm really really worried about this, and I know some people are just going to say, 'let it all out' but that's really not an option! I want my wedding day to be really special, and I want to look beautiful, not puffy and red faced in all the photos.

Is there ANYTHING I can do? Can I take hypnotherapy? Any techniques out there to avoid the tears?

Please help!!
Thanks xxxx

Dragan

The photographer in me says that you are paying money for a professional ( i hope ) to show up and take your photo's, they are not going to have any of you being all red eyed and puffy.

Besides, some of the most fantastic wedding photographs i have seen have been those "crying from pure happiness moments" that the photographer had the skill to snap.

Not really want you want to here but there aren't really that many ways to sidestep emotional reactions you have been having your whole life.

Nevyn

What proof mascara, a layer of anti red blusher under your foundation and if the tears to well up then remember to breathe. You can just let the tears happen, a lot of the distress you have about being any ugly crier will make you panic and go into flight or fight mode which will have you red in the face and sobbing/hyperventilating.

I would say learn to just let the tears happen as gracefully as you can between now and then.

*Dallas

i dont know how true or how stupid this might sound.. but an old friend of mine who works in child care was talking about Johnsons shampoo for babies.. you know 'no more tears' .. aparantly it softly kills the tear ducks in the babies eyes... she could have been winding me up but might be worth looking in to

failing that have a really big weepy session the day before.. watch a few movies that you know you'll cry at like Beaches etc and get rid of all the tears so there's none left! lol

Ginny

Honestly you will probably be too preoccupied to cry, Most people that I know who were sure they would cry were too nervous to actually cry.
Make sure your bridesmaids have your make-up to hand to reapply anything that maybe be smudged.
Wear waterproof mascara, eyeshowdow, use a green tinted base to counter and redness that might occur, I'm sure there also a "fixer" you can get to put under foundation to stop it sliding.
Honestly if you do cry it will not be the end of the world, when you say you're and "ugly crier" that might not be apparent on the day as you will be crying with happiness rather then upset. just relax and breathe, if it happens it happens.

Das Kitty

NewJob wrote: »

Is there ANYTHING I can do? Can I take hypnotherapy?

Nope!

I just about held it together to get to the top of the aisle, then I was away! The speeches as well, then the first dance. Apart from that I was grand though! :P

The makeup artist was my saviour, she put the proper makeup on me so I didn't look puffy and the waterproof mascara. I also put some tissues down the front of my dress so I could sneakily dry up a bit, not sneakily enough as I was seen in the church much to the great amusement of the rabble!

It was good though, and the amount of people who approached us afterwards to tell is how nice it was to go to a wedding and see the raw emotion rather than the two seemingly going through the motions of the wedding was heartening. We also had a lot of people cursing us as they joined in with the blubbing and wrecked their own makeup!

Don't worry about it, you'll get through and people will appreciate that it's out of the deep love you have for your husband to be.

Clare Bear

LOL OP you sound just like me! I cry at the drop of a hat. Get the best possible waterproof mascara and make up that you can, have a few tissues ready at hand, down the front of your dress maybe but just enjoy your day. If that means you cry a lot feck it, it's the most important day of your life. I intend to ball my eyes out when I get married and I don't give a crap! You'll be grand

CathyMoran

Well, I had a glass of champers before going down the aisle but when I got to the church I looked at my husband the whole time, he calmed me down. Like you I was scared of crying on the day but as the others said you should use waterproof mascara. It will be fine.

stovelid

Get these and cry away

shellyboo

stovelid wrote: »

Get these and cry away

Add white ribbons for a weddingy effect

OP, I think it's nice when people cry at their wedding!! It's really lovely. I bet you're not an ugly crier at all

stovelid

shellyboo wrote: »

OP, I think it's nice when people cry at their wedding!! It's really lovely. I bet you're not an ugly crier at all

Aye, OP. You'll probably be rushing around too much to even think, and if you do cry, people won't notice /think it's sweet. It's your wedding day, after all.

small

Just putting it out there as an idea....if botox under your arms can stop you sweating, could botox around your tear ducts stop you crying????

MJOR

if its any consolation i will be a blubbering mess on my wedding day too

kizzyr

*Dallas wrote: »

i dont know how true or how stupid this might sound.. but an old friend of mine who works in child care was talking about Johnsons shampoo for babies.. you know 'no more tears' .. aparantly it softly kills the tear ducks in the babies eyes... she could have been winding me up but might be worth looking in to

failing that have a really big weepy session the day before.. watch a few movies that you know you'll cry at like Beaches etc and get rid of all the tears so there's none left! lol

I think your friend was winding you up. Killing off the tear ducts would be a really bad thing, you'd never have any way of crying, or keeping your eyes moist when necessary.

Baybay

It wasn't something I had considered before our wedding but we had a bit of a rehearsal in the church the afternoon before and as soon as I started walking up the aisle, I began to cry.
I continued throughout the rehearsal only stopping once it was over.
We didn't even do the ceremony, it was just about who was to walk when, where to sit, stand etc.
The organist was there though so that may have helped cause it.

The point is though, that on the wedding day itself, there wasn't a tear.

Maybe have a bit of a run through the day before, it might help.

NewJob

Thank you EVERYONE for your replies, particularly the one with the scuba mask dressed up in ribbons, great suggestion, and it put a smile on my face!

No seriously, you've helped me put it all into perspective ....

I still think I'm going to have to resort to half a bottle of champers before the ceremony ...!

brianthebard

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JGQUEnpTkw

Das Kitty

NewJob wrote: »

I still think I'm going to have to resort to half a bottle of champers before the ceremony ...!

Ha ha! If you're anything like me that it'll make it easier to cry! You'll be great, a few tears aren't going to spoil your day.

The Writer

Hi... Your my very first post on these boards so thanks!

I'm a training hypnotherapist (just about to finish) let me give you some pointers that may help (although I would recommend seeing a therapist as it couldn't hurt and would give you a boost for the big day!)

Anyhoo here goes:

Firstly... You're setting yourself up to cry and you don't even know it. Yep really. It's called the law of reversed effect. By saying "I hope I don't cry" your mind has to first of all picture what it is that IT'S NOT to do. So then your mind is getting the picture of you crying at your wedding day and thinks that this is the thing that you want it to do at that event?

It's like saying "dont think of a black cat", in order not to do it, you have to first do it!

So instead of saying "I hope I don't cry" how about saying "No matter what happens on that day it's going to be a great day!".

Also, as any good sports person will tell you, if you can picture something happening over and over again then it will, so why not picture yourself happy as can be, as proud as can be and having the best day possible? Keep picturing that instead of yourself crying (which is what your doing now). Write down how you'd ideally like the day to go and constantly picture it in your head at every opportunity.

Also, find reasons why it would be funny or just plain silly to cry on your wedding day? Picture yourself wearing a big multi colored rainbow wig with a big red nose and a pair of Micky Mouse ears if you did cry, and then if you honked your nose it would make a funny high pitched sound. The reason to do this is that if you can laugh at your fear, you've conquered it. So get laughing missy!

And lastly... on the day TRY TO MAKE YOURSELF CRY. Try as hard as you like and you wont if you follow the tips above.

May I wish you all the very best on that day and the rest of the days that follow, it's truly a joy to see people celebrate their happiness with each other in this day and age.

OH! One more point!! I've performed at enough weddings (I'm also a close up magician... I know... lots of things to my bow or what every the saying is) to know that a lot of people try to make everyone cry with their speeches, this is how you win that one over.... Picture them with their pants down and their fluffy bottoms exposed while giving the speech.

God bless

Salome

This is actually a HUGE fear of mine too - I get emotional at the drop of a hat. I dread my wedding day because I know I'm going to be a soggy mess.

O'Coonassa

NewJob wrote: »

Can I take hypnotherapy?

Take testosterone but be prepared to have to shave your face lol If there's a time in your cycle when you're less emotional you should probably set your wedding for that time.