Autobiograhy of Queen Mise

colrow

Queen-Mise was the daughter of the King of Spain and one of his serving senorita's, thats why she has such dark hair, and dusky skin, she was born in the backstreets of Benidorm, and her mother used to make her living dressing the child Mise up in a monkey outfit, and persuade tourists to have their pictures taken , with the little monkey. In 1953 Mise .... (please continue as you want)

kerash

had vanished.
The End.

colrow

kerash wrote: »

had vanished.
QUOTE]

From her usual haunts, her mother was distraught having lost her sole means, of earning her living, Mise had in fact been taken from her cage by the Ballybunion chapter of the League for the Protection of Monkeys, who hoped to return her to the wild after keeping her for a while in their monkey sanctuary...

kerash

kerash wrote: »

had vanished.
The End.

...

Queen-Mise

During my spell as a monkey's pet I learned many skills including mandarin chinese. after I made my escape, I went to the Far East to practise my many skills, during this period of time I also was a novice to the Shaolin monks. After my feeling testings I then returned to the west.

Anyone hazard a guess as to what came now...

colrow

you opened a chinese takeaway ?? if so i'll have Number 69 to take away

Queen-Mise

colrow wrote: »

you opened a chinese takeaway ?? if so i'll have Number 69 to take away

I am a queen, how do you think I set up a takeaway - I don't do Coming to America type movie life situations

kerash

THE END.

Queen-Mise

kerash wrote: »

THE END.

spoilsport, jealously won't get you anywhere :D:D:D

kerash

FIN

Queen-Mise

kerash wrote: »

FIN

Well done Kerash, I did end up in finland when I arrived back in Western Europe and that is where I met my Russian oil multi-billionaire. His name was Stepov Flastirstvava, a fine man, the love of my love really. Even down there is a tear in my eye when I think of him. the police decided it was an accident with him on the yacht.

Nerin

queen-mise wrote: »

Well done Kerash, I did end up in finland when I arrived back in Western Europe and that is where I met my Russian oil multi-billionaire. His name was Stepov Flastirstvava, a fine man, the love of my love really. Even down there is a tear in my eye when I think of him. the police decided it was an accident with him on the yacht.

She spent many nights after the death of her love listening to finnish trolls mating calls on her balcony. Distraught, she bought a ticket...

Queen-Mise

and went to america a very, very rich billionaireness. After living a highlife in New York shopping and partying, I decided to move to Los Angelus hoping to meet the love of my life...

Nerin

queen-mise wrote: »

and went to america a very, very rich billionaireness. After living a highlife in New York shopping and partying, I decided to move to Los Angelus hoping to meet the love of my life...

she met a broody pale man, that had a detective agency and a neck fetish. soon after leaving him, crying in the corner, she moved to nevada

Queen-Mise

after realising that pale skinney men are waste of time and very quickly realising Nevada isn't a lot better, I decided to go to Los angeles

Nerin

queen-mise wrote: »

after realising that pale skinney men are waste of time and very quickly realising Nevada isn't a lot better, I decided to go to Los angeles

after realising Los angeles wasn't any better, she again travelled to nevada.

Prof.Badass

Nerin wrote: »

after realising Los angeles wasn't any better, she again travelled to nevada.

and took up work in one of those legal brothels

(sorry i couldn't resist)

Nerin

vinylmesh wrote: »

and took up work in one of those legal brothels

(sorry i couldn't help it!)

working as a waitress in a brothel paid great money, and she often laughed about men trying to pay her for teh sex. it gave her a bit of an ego boost.
even one customer, vinyl something, who drunkenly begged her, but as always she refused. later that night he was found at the bottom of an alley, having over dosed on gummy bears and sadness.

Prof.Badass

Nerin wrote: »

working as a waitress in a brothel paid great money, and she often laughed about men trying to pay her for teh sex. it gave her a bit of an ego boost.
even one customer, vinyl something, who drunkenly begged her, but as always she refused. later that night he was found at the bottom of an alley, having over dosed on gummy bears and sadness.

vinyls friends were angered at her ( i Mean if you're walking around naked in a brothel then most reasonable people would assume you're a whore). To get revenge on her they set her up with a transexual known only by the street name "nerin".

dara95

then she took up her sword and as she rode on her trusty stallion back to the battle field!
at the battle field the fighting was very fierce but the queen prevailed she organized a charge and her army rallied on her. they had lost most of their men but they got together for one last attempt!!

just as all hope seemed to be lost the queen blew on her magical horn;)
and everyone charged it was an epic charge and the queens forces won!!!

then they turned to go home but on the way home to spain....

Nerin

dara95 wrote: »

then she took up her sword and as she rode on her trusty stallion back to the battle field!
at the battle field the fighting was very fierce but the queen prevailed she organized a charge and her army rallied on her. they had lost most of their men but they got together for one last attempt!!

just as all hope seemed to be lost the queen blew on her magical horn;)
and everyone charged it was an epic charge and the queens forces won!!!

then they turned to go home but on the way home to spain....

They realised it was all a dream,as vinyl had no friends.
Waking up in ireland was a major headache.

Prof.Badass

Nerin wrote: »

They realised it was all a dream,as vinyl had no friends.
Waking up in ireland was a major headache.

(damn).

Vinyl was wondering where all his friends had gone, and why he had such a strange dream so he decided to go on a night out with an acquaintance.

There he was chatted up by nerin (whom he rejected) and got kinda freaked out and left.

It was also a headache for queen mise who having woken up, realised that she was no longer a billionaire queen, so she decided to...

Nerin

vinylmesh wrote: »

(damn).

Vinyl was wondering where all his friends had gone, and why he had such a strange dream so he decided to go on a night out with an acquaintance.

There he was chatted up by nerin (whom he rejected) and got kinda freaked out and left.

It was also a headache for queen mise who having woken up, realised that she was no longer a billionaire queen, so she decided to...

Travel back in time. She hired Nerin to kill vinyl,for the lulz. He agreed,purely out of boredom,and decided to get close to his prey by flirting with him. As vinyl left,feeling very freaked out,he was brutally bludgeonded to death by a piece of the berlin wall.
His job complete,Nerin went on a cruise with the money queen mise had payed him. Unfortunately,it was all fake money,and Nerin is the custody of the guards. Queen mise is currently baking him a cake with a file in it when suddenly...

Prof.Badass

the police knock on her door. She faces charges for her involvement in vinyls death.

Using the insurance money (everyone laughed at vinyl for taking out berlin wall insurance) Vinyls family have him cryogenically frozen in Alcor, and stored away for the next 10,000 years in a completely locked room UNTOUCHED untill he is finally reanimated in the future when humans can live forever. He finds out that NO-ONE he knows is alive, but just as well as he had no friends in the past anyway.

In 20,000 AD he (along with every other human) transcends and gets to live for all eternity in all-knowing bliss as a higher being.

Back in the 2009 however, nerin is just about to be raped in his cell when...

kerash

El Fin.

Jemmy

this is still going?! :rolleyes:

Nerin

vinylmesh wrote: »

the police knock on her door. She faces charges for her involvement in vinyls death.

Using the insurance money (everyone laughed at vinyl for taking out berlin wall insurance) Vinyls family have him cryogenically frozen in Alcor, and stored away for the next 10,000 years in a completely locked room UNTOUCHED untill he is finally reanimated in the future when humans can live forever. He finds out that NO-ONE he knows is alive, but just as well as he had no friends in the past anyway.

In 20,000 AD he (along with every other human) transcends and gets to live for all eternity in all-knowing bliss as a higher being.

Back in the 2009 however, nerin is just about to be raped in his cell when...

He realises hes not only a ninja,but a ninja with a brick.(stupid cops never took his brick.)
Bricking the potential rapist,he ninjas his way to queen mises house,were the only way he can get real money is through a high stakes poker game.

kerash

Il finito.

Queen-Mise

When Nerin arrives at the Queen-mise's they start a poker game with some of the other pathetic boards members (who in their delusional state think they can beat the gruesome twosome) including Kerash, colrow, cyberwolf77 & dara. Little do the other boardsies know when they are beaten they are fed to the Queen's hounds for dinenr outside. Although colrow is kept specially for the scottish hounds to eat.
The queen pays Nerin a substantial amount to set up his own holistic detective agency,
the queen enjoys her winnings living in the Artic circle

kerash

/runs out of languages...

El Endo.

Queen-Mise

kerash wrote: »

/runs out of languages...

El Endo.

Fundi - Alabania
Konec - Czech
Het einde - Dutch
It-tarf - Maltese

Do any of them help kerash

kerash

Die Ende.

Queen-Mise

unfortunately kerash i don't think we have finished yet.
I still haven't told you how i joined the monarchy, but that can wait till later in the day....

kerash

queen-mise wrote: »

unfortunately kerash we have finished ....

everyone needs a good editor.
:cool:

Queen-Mise

editor yes critic no. :-)

kerash

you need to know when to stop!
I is help you, you never appreciate anything I do for you
End.

Nerin

kerash wrote: »

you need to know when to stop!
I is help you, you never appreciate anything I do for you
End.

Someone craves amps power...

*ponders whether to wake smoke.me.a.kipper*

colrow

queen-mise wrote: »

unfortunately kerash i don't think we have finished yet.
I still haven't told you how i joined the monarchy, but that can wait till later in the day....

Mise was coming out of the Walmart in Nevada carrying a six pack to see her through to breakfast time, when she was accosted by an old Gypsy Woman, who grabbed her hand and looked at her palm, "Oh Dearie, I see you are in the wrong place here, you're destiny waits to be unfolded, you must go to Benidorm, and look for a wizened old crone"

colrow

Mise thought to herself how the hell can I get to Benidorm, speeking to her spirit guide, funny name for a spirit Guide Miller Lite, tho as she gurgled down the amber liquid, thinking please give me a sign. She turned round and saw a strange thing, a guy carrying a fence pole, Oi why are you carrying that fencing pole around. He replied Are to be sure, tis me lucky taliman, I used to carry a lucky shamrock around, until while on holiday in the lush location of Benidorm, an old crone, read my fortune, and told me that a fence stake was my lucky taliman and i should carry it wherever I go, so I've done that ever since, people call me Staker...

Queen-Mise

Using the stake that was obviously a gift from the gypsy woman through her chance meeting with Staker. Queen-mise went to the nearest airport and vaulted onto the wing and hitchhiked a lift on the first plane going to Spain (her James Bond moment). After landing in Madrid airport, she fell asleep and let the sun thaw her out on the back of an orange truck going to Benidorm.

dara95

little did she know that the orange truck was carrying illegal immigrants form whales!!


she met a man called bjorgen and they jumped off the truck as they were driving on a steep cliff sadly they miscalculated the jump and landed on a boat bound for madagascar!!


yet little did they know, that on their boat was 4 animals from a new york zoo and a group of crazy penguins the penguins screwed up and they sank the boat


Mise woke up on a beach 5 days later surrounded by dancing lemurs, then she......

colrow

realised where she was, in the Bull Ring just outside Benidorm, it wasn't a beach, it was the arena and it wasn't lemurs prancing about, it was a group of picadors, trying to entice this huge black bull that was pawing the ground seven feet and 5 inches way from her. She stared the bull in the face, and holding his gaze she walked towards him, the bull mesmerised by her turned sheepishly away, as Mise slapped him on the rump he sped off like a scalded cat. Where did this power come from wondered Mise, as the Picadors lowered their heads as she walked through them to the exit.
A young gypsy girl caught her hand and said come with me, Mise followed...

the_syco

...across the field, but suddenly the aliens abducted her, and...

dara95

they dragged her to a well and dropped her down!!! mise screamed for help and suddenly...

Queen-Mise

found herself in the restaurant at the of the universe and hitchhiked a lift back to earth with zaphod beeblebox where they dropped her off in benidorm...

Matt Holck

where she came across a fully functional flying rotor blade beanie

dara95

little did mise know she was destined to become the worlds greatest warrior!!

she picked up the rotar blade and ventured out into to the wilderness and then........

Prof.Badass

just at the wrong moment a massive gust of wind came and blew her flimsy skirt right off :eek: (it had already been worn to shreds by the events of the previous few days):eek::eek:!

Being the prude that she was she let go of the rotor blade beenie (well you didn't expect it to stay on by magic did you?) to cover herself and it flew up without her into the sky.

Despite it being totally legal to walk around naked in public in spain, she put on a pair of old boxers that were trapped in the shrubbery beside her and crept into a nearby garden to steal herself some clothes.

Meanwhile a scrubby stable cleaner named Colrow happened upon the beenie.He thought long and hard about what to do with it and then decided to...

Queen-Mise

colrow remembering his schools days when he was bullied in the corner, wearing his beanie (because of being the only emo in his school). colrow sat down in the sun, unravelled the whole of the beanie and then reknit it as a rather charming...

colrow

posing pouch, grabbing astone from the groung he used the pouch as a sling shot and took aim at..

Queen-Mise

a rather striking young woman walking down the street. The woman being a very very skilled karate master had already spotted colrow. She ducked from the shot and walked over towards him...