XBOX over me!!!

claireeney

My boyfriend is completely addicted to his xbox. its starting to be a real problem at home. he is constantly at it and ignores everything that goes on around him. when i say anything the reply i get is "this is what i do to relax" or "what else am i supposed to be doing?" we have a child and a house - there is always something to do. we both work during the day and id appreciate a bit of help with cleaning, ironing, cooking, homework and besides that a conversation once in a while to his face instead of the back of his head!!! is that too much to ask???

also when he's eating his dinner he's in some xbox chat room on his laptop at the kitchen table.

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! :mad:

jhegarty

It beats drinking , gambling and drugs.

claireeney

god dont get me wrong, i appreciate that! i was just looking for advice.

Overheal

True, but it is in its own right addictive.

His decision, ultimately, but setting up some boundaries seems in order. No tech at the dinner table, no xbox before [insert condition here], etc. My favorite being Unplugged Sundays.

Chinafoot

jhegarty wrote: »

It beats drinking , gambling and drugs.

Not necessarily. They have a child. They both work during the day. When does he spend time with his child? When does he communicate with his partner? Its still an addiction at the end of the day and while you may not think its as bad as drink/drugs/gambling it is still going to affect his family.

OP, you need to try to make him see how damaging this could be to your family. He needs to wake up and start taking his responsibilities seriously. Unfortunately he probably thinks that since it's not drugs/drink/gambling it's not a real addiction....being in chatrooms at the dinner table would indicate otherwise. I'm not really a fan of ultimatums but it sounds like he could do with a kick up the backside.

claireeney

Overheal wrote: »

True, but it is in its own right addictive.

His decision, ultimately, but setting up some boundaries seems in order. No tech at the dinner table, no xbox before [insert condition here], etc. My favorite being Unplugged Sundays.

thanks overheal and yes over the past 6 years i have attempted this. it lasts all of two days and he gradually slips back to his old routine. but i think the threat of no dinner might solve the laptop at the table. besides that he is in a really sh1tty mood when he's not on it.

claireeney

Chinafoot wrote: »

Not necessarily. They have a child. They both work during the day. When does he spend time with his child? When does he communicate with his partner? Its still an addiction at the end of the day and while you may not think its as bad as drink/drugs/gambling it is still going to affect his family.

OP, you need to try to make him see how damaging this could be to your family. He needs to wake up and start taking his responsibilities seriously. Unfortunately he probably thinks that since it's not drugs/drink/gambling it's not a real addiction....being in chatrooms at the dinner table would indicate otherwise. I'm not really a fan of ultimatums but it sounds like he could do with a kick up the backside.

thanks chinafoot, but as i mentioned to overheal it is nearly easier to just let him be on it and be in good form than sulk in the corner and not talk to anyone. i have tried taking the leads to work with me and he'd just buy new ones or borrow his brothers. i need a really good ultimatum without being threatening.

ps: he has bein kicked up the ar5e numerous times but it is permanently numb from sitting down all the time.

youcrazyjesus!

My girlfriend is always on at me about watching too much sport, she has a point and I
am more selective and now watch less. It's not unreasonable to expect some give and
take with it. You're right to get on to him about it.

claireeney

claireeney wrote: »

My boyfriend is completely addicted to his xbox. its starting to be a real problem at home. he is constantly at it and ignores everything that goes on around him. when i say anything the reply i get is "this is what i do to relax" or "what else am i supposed to be doing?" we have a child and a house - there is always something to do. we both work during the day and id appreciate a bit of help with cleaning, ironing, cooking, homework and besides that a conversation once in a while to his face instead of the back of his head!!! is that too much to ask???

also when he's eating his dinner he's in some xbox chat room on his laptop at the kitchen table.

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! :mad:

Is this too obvious but why don't you learn to play? Or at least give it a shot..


I'm guessing he's playing Halo, pretty much the most addictive game on the xbox and you're not gonna be able to get him to stop too easy.. personal experience. It's definately the most addicted i've been to anything.

I'm a 47 to anyone who know's Halo :P

Chinafoot

Deleted User wrote: »

Is this too obvious but why don't you learn to play? Or at least give it a shot..

Who looks after the child and house then?

claireeney

Deleted User wrote: »

Is this too obvious but why don't you learn to play? Or at least give it a shot..


I'm guessing he's playing Halo, pretty much the most addictive game on the xbox and you're not gonna be able to get him to stop too easy.. personal experience. It's definately the most addicted i've been to anything.

I'm a 47 to anyone who know's Halo :P

you think thats what i want to hear?? i have played it and dont see the attraction. ive played halo and i'm glad to say i have more cop on than to get addicted to a stupid pointless game. i have better things to worry about. slow clap for ur 47.

claireeney

claireeney wrote: »

thanks overheal and yes over the past 6 years i have attempted this. it lasts all of two days and he gradually slips back to his old routine. but i think the threat of no dinner might solve the laptop at the table. besides that he is in a really sh1tty mood when he's not on it.

Well if it means being drastic, stop giving him dinner, don't do any of his washing (assuming you're doing this while he's playing), don't do anything for him and see what happens?

Chinafoot

Chinafoot wrote: »

Who looks after the child and house then?

I'm sorry for throwing out a reasonable suggestion. Partners doing stuff together and all that.. It's the exact same as partners who watch tv together.

claireeney wrote: »

you think thats what i want to hear?? i have played it and dont see the attraction. ive played halo and i'm glad to say i have more cop on than to get addicted to a stupid pointless game. i have better things to worry about. slow clap for ur 47.

fair enough, i don't remember becoming the villain of the thread but I clearly have.

good look with your relationship.

dudara

Posters, let's stay civil here please.

OP, it's fine if he plays xBox every so often, but if it's at the stage where he doesn't contribute to the household, or minding his child, then it's time for a quick, kick up the arse.

It's time for a conversation where you outline your feelings. Let him know that you will act if he fails to show some consideration.

claireeney

bluewolf wrote: »

Well if it means being drastic, stop giving him dinner, don't do any of his washing (assuming you're doing this while he's playing), don't do anything for him and see what happens?

this is all good however when it comes down to that as it has many times i feel like our child suffers for seeing me ignore him and that makes me think my problem is petty. but i cant see how it is helping her to see him there not helping me in any way. this does not affect him emotionally in any way.

thebman

The Xbox has family settings to regulate the amount of hours people can play.

If it is that big a problem, agree with him a set amount of time to play per day and set it on his console family settings. He may get p*ssed about that so agree to try it without it and if he fails then set the family settings because he's obviously a big child.

Video available on the below page:
http://on10.net/blogs/lorigros/Innovation-Day-Xbox-Family-Settings/

You can also set the age rating for profiles on this page for people who have kids with profiles. This prevents them from playing inappropriate games for their age group just for general information

claireeney

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm sorry for throwing out a reasonable suggestion. Partners doing stuff together and all that.. It's the exact same as partners who watch tv together.



fair enough, i don't remember becoming the villain of the thread but I clearly have.

good look with your relationship.

watching tv allows for interaction of some sort. ye are watchin the same thing and will know what the other is talking about. you became a villian when u suggested playing the xbox to someone who had started a thread to solve her boyfriends addiction to it. thank god it wasnt drugs, you may have been arrested for a suggestion like that! :pac:

TheDollyParton

This might sound a bit over the top to some people but if I were you I would call The Rutland Centre for a chat. They deal with ALL kinds of addictions and would be able to identify if that's what you're dealing with here. Having lived with an addict of one kind or another for almost my entire life I know how difficult it can be, and the behaviours you have described are very familiar to me. www.rutlandcentre.ie

thebman

claireeney wrote: »

watching tv allows for interaction of some sort. ye are watchin the same thing and will know what the other is talking about. you became a villian when u suggested playing the xbox to someone who had started a thread to solve her boyfriends addiction to it. thank god it wasnt drugs, you may have been arrested for a suggestion like that! :pac:

Well the reality is unlike drugs, there is nothing wrong with a bit of gaming.

He's obviously way out of control if he's doing it over everything else though. It is an addictive habbit. I was a complete addict as a kid and still am in some ways. I have all the consoles and loads of games but never have time to play it because I you know, have a life I have to live.

He seems to be ignoring that he has a life. Gaming is ultimately a form of escapism and something might be depressing or annoying him which is why he feels he has to restort to gaming to escape his real life. Maybe he's not happy?

-edit--
lol the addiction centre thing seems way over the top. Gaming is a manageable pass time. He isn't playing day and night yet. There are people in Japan that have died playing games because they wouldn't stop. That is when its time to call the addiction centre.

claireeney

thebman wrote: »

The Xbox has family settings to regulate the amount of hours people can play.

If it is that big a problem, agree with him a set amount of time to play per day and set it on his console family settings. He may get p*ssed about that so agree to try it without it and if he fails then set the family settings because he's obviously a big child.

Video available on the below page:
http://on10.net/blogs/lorigros/Innovation-Day-Xbox-Family-Settings/

You can also set the age rating for profiles on this page for people who have kids with profiles. This prevents them from playing inappropriate games for their age group just for general information

excellent, now i need a "how to get his password" link that is a great idea but it is his xbox and im sure he would get it off again. ill give it a lash anyways. thanks!

thebman

Well you should talk to him about it first like otherwise he'll just get p*ssed off at you.

The last thing you want to do is take away is outlet for aggression and then p*ss him off!

When you turn on the console it will probably log him in automatically so you shouldn't need a password unless he has set one to lock you out of his account.

claireeney

thebman wrote: »

Well the reality is unlike drugs, there is nothing wrong with a bit of gaming.

He's obviously way out of control if he's doing it over everything else though. It is an addictive habbit. I was a complete addict as a kid and still am in some ways. I have all the consoles and loads of games but never have time to play it because I you know, have a life I have to live.

He seems to be ignoring that he has a life. Gaming is ultimately a form of escapism and something might be depressing or annoying him which is why he feels he has to restort to gaming to escape his real life. Maybe he's not happy?

-edit--
lol the addiction centre thing seems way over the top. Gaming is a manageable pass time. He isn't playing day and night yet. There are people in Japan that have died playing games because they wouldn't stop. That is when its time to call the addiction centre.

i somehow doubt he's escaping anything except house work. he has a nice job, great child, excellent girlfriend (:pac:), nice house etc. however most of it is in spite of his behaviour and not because of it.

he also knows im writing about him and is pretty feckless. although maybe he didnt hear me....

LegacyUser

claireeney wrote: »

you think thats what i want to hear?? i have played it and dont see the attraction. ive played halo and i'm glad to say i have more cop on than to get addicted to a stupid pointless game. i have better things to worry about. slow clap for ur 47.

Jesus first of all you'll need to stop being so ignorant. Just because you dont like it doesnt mean its stupid and pointless to him. That would piss anyone off if there other half was calling something they loved stupid and pointless.

TheDollyParton

thebman wrote: »

-edit--
lol the addiction centre thing seems way over the top. Gaming is a manageable pass time. He isn't playing day and night yet. There are people in Japan that have died playing games because they wouldn't stop. That is when its time to call the addiction centre.

Trust me, people can be addicted to anything, and any addiction is damaging. I'm not saying that's what's happening here, I'm just saying that the people at the centre are expert in addictive behaviour and might be able to help the OP broach the subject in the most effective way.

-EDIT-

The Japanese example is an extreme one, but consider the fact that there are alcoholics who drink themselves into homelessness and subsequently their graves, but there are also alcoholics who go to work every day but whose addiction is still ruining their lives. If a behaviour is adversely effecting your life and you find it difficult to stop then I believe you have a problem to a certain extent.

claireeney

claireeney wrote: »

watching tv allows for interaction of some sort. ye are watchin the same thing and will know what the other is talking about. you became a villian when u suggested playing the xbox to someone who had started a thread to solve her boyfriends addiction to it. thank god it wasnt drugs, you may have been arrested for a suggestion like that! :pac:

i'd love to post in this thread more cause I can relate to your boyfriend, i used to play roughly 12 hours of xbox a day for maybe a year.

but i'm not going to. you laughed at my 47. it took me a year to get to that.

Dyr

lets just get the facts here ma'am:

How many hours per weekday is this chap playing on his xbox?
How many hours per weekend is he on the xbox?


was he playing this much before yiz got hitched up?


And dont go doing stupid childish stuff like messing around with his xbox and sticking family settings on it, thats no solution and you'll probably just break it

Also: lol at the idea that it would be fine to veg out so long as it was in front of the telly and not the xbox, dearie me

declanx

I am one of these guys(38 y/o) addicted to xbox. My wife put her foot down: No xbox until kids are in bed and house is clean. Cod4 is my drug. And no, it's not too much ask with house work and help with the kids.
Game tag declanx

thebman

thebman wrote: »

The Xbox has family settings to regulate the amount of hours people can play.

If it is that big a problem, agree with him a set amount of time to play per day and set it on his console family settings. He may get p*ssed about that so agree to try it without it and if he fails then set the family settings because he's obviously a big child.

Video available on the below page:
http://on10.net/blogs/lorigros/Innovation-Day-Xbox-Family-Settings/

You can also set the age rating for profiles on this page for people who have kids with profiles. This prevents them from playing inappropriate games for their age group just for general information

are you serious, you can't do that to something he owns.

kowloon

I play games a fair bit, so take this in context.

We are not designed to interact with machines, computer addiction is a very serious problem, be it online gambling, facebook or games. Tell the lazy fecker to get off his arse and do his share,the same as you would with anything else. Failing that, hide the controllers.

Silverfish

declanx wrote: »

I am one of these guys(38 y/o) addicted to xbox. My wife put her foot down: No xbox until kids are in bed and house is clean. Cod4 is my drug. And no, it's not too much ask with house work and help with the kids.
Game tag declanx

As a recovering xbox addict, I can say that this is actually the best solution.

No gaming til everything is done.

I think, OP, the trouble is because he's wrapped up in his own world, he doesnt see or realise the volume of work that has to be done. It's gotten done so far without him, so he just doesn't see why he has to change now.
Its probably gone to the stage that he just hears 'Nag nag nag...' whereas a lot of other and possibly more clued in men would hear 'OH CRAP GIANT ALARM BELLS RELATIONSHIP ABOUT TO CRASH LAST CHANCE TO FIX'.

Trouble is, a lot of men do just hear "nag nag nag' then are mystified when the gf ups and leaves, saying 'but I didn't do anything wrong'.

The fact is, xbox or not, you're dealing with an other half, boyfriend, parent, 'co-worker'... who is currently none of those things.
I have a feeling that if it wasn't the xbox, it would be something else.

claireeney

Deleted User wrote: »

i'd love to post in this thread more cause I can relate to your boyfriend, i used to play roughly 12 hours of xbox a day for maybe a year.

but i'm not going to. you laughed at my 47. it took me a year to get to that.

i may take that back cos bambi just called me ma'am and thinks im a ditz who cant work a xbox. this is a new villian who thinks watching tv is like, bad or something.

thebman

Deleted User wrote: »

are you serious, you can't do that to something he owns.

I meant agree with him the time and if he can't keep to it agree with him to setup the timer not set the timer on him and hahaha on him.

That isn't going to end in a healthy relationship. She just wants revenge if she does that and it'll blow up even more.

kowloon wrote: »

I play games a fair bit, so take this in context.

We are not designed to interact with machines, computer addiction is a very serious problem, be it online gambling, facebook or games. Tell the lazy fecker to get off his arse and do his share,the same as you would with anything else. Failing that, hide the controllers.

We are not designed to interact with machines? Seriously what the hell?

We created machines to be interacted with by us. It isn't a problem, it is a hobby and a past time to a lot of people be it gaming or building Pc's or what ever.

A small number of people let it get out of hand and I don't think this is one of those cases. He is most likely lazy or bored and not addicted to gaming. Addiction is when you won't stop gaming to eat or sleep.

He just considers doing the washing up to be a problem he wants to get away from by the sounds of it. Wishes he was still in college or something.

Amalgam

With-hold or limit 'couple activities' for a while, he'll snap out of it quick enough.

thebman

Anyway before calling this an addiction, a couple of important questions to answer are:

How long has he had the Xbox?

How long has he had the game and been playing it online?

He may just have "new toy" syndrome for lack of a better word. When you first discover online gaming, its like the most incredible fun thing and then a few months later, it starts to wear off a little bit.

I found having the Xbox a couple of years that I rarely play online at all anymore. Halo was loads of fun when I first got it but I got bored after a few months because it is just the same thing over and over online. That's when I got other games that weren't shooters to keep me entertained.

So answer those questions and then let us know how long each day and weekend he plays that you consider too much. One persons too much is another persons reasonable amount after all.

Chinafoot

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm sorry for throwing out a reasonable suggestion. Partners doing stuff together and all that.. It's the exact same as partners who watch tv together.

It was a valid question...no need to get so defensive. The OP's partner is spending the majority of his time in the evening on his XBox. The OP is saying that she needs help with the house work and in looking after their child. Suggesting that she join in his playing would only serve to achieve even more time not being spent on the responsibilities that they have. Not exactly "reasonable" from the OP's point of view I'm sure.

Nobody here is saying gaming is evil. The guy is obviously addicted if he is neglecting his family in such a way (did we all miss the bit where the OP said she's been trying for 6 years?) and it's unfair and unreasonable for him to expect the OP to handle everything in the household so he can indulge in his past time in such an excessive way. Chat rooms at the dinner table? That's ridiculous. His first priority should be his family.

claireeney

Unregistered wrote: »

Jesus first of all you'll need to stop being so ignorant. Just because you dont like it doesnt mean its stupid and pointless to him. That would piss anyone off if there other half was calling something they loved stupid and pointless.

the point of this thread unregistered user is that he does love it and it is a stupid pointless thing to love. he has a child who could benefit from more of his attention. who are u to call me ignorant? that makes it obvious that you are the furthest a person could be from this situation. you have no idea what its like to sit in traffic for an hour every evening dying to get home and then getting home and wondering what was the point? my absence would be noted if there was no dinner.

thebman

claireeney wrote: »

the point of this thread unregistered user is that he does love it and it is a stupid pointless thing to love. he has a child who could benefit from more of his attention. who are u to call me ignorant? that makes it obvious that you are the furthest a person could be from this situation. you have no idea what its like to sit in traffic for an hour every evening dying to get home and then getting home and wondering what was the point? my absence would be noted if there was no dinner.

I don't see why your making his dinner for him all the time anyway.

Setup a timetable and ask him to stick to it, he won't.

Then, make your own dinner one evening and the kids and when he asks tell him it was his turn so you made the kids and your own dinner but not his since he ignored his responsibilites.

He might start waking up to the fact that your not his mother.

claireeney

claireeney wrote: »

the point of this thread unregistered user is that he does love it and it is a stupid pointless thing to love.

some people love tag rugby, some people love guitar, some people love to dance, some people love to play games.


all as valid as each other. apart from him playing too much of course..

claireeney

thebman wrote: »

Anyway before calling this an addiction, a couple of important questions to answer are:

How long has he had the Xbox?

How long has he had the game and been playing it online?

He may just have "new toy" syndrome for lack of a better word. When you first discover online gaming, its like the most incredible fun thing and then a few months later, it starts to wear off a little bit.

I found having the Xbox a couple of years that I rarely play online at all anymore. Halo was loads of fun when I first got it but I got bored after a few months because it is just the same thing over and over online. That's when I got other games that weren't shooters to keep me entertained.

So answer those questions and then let us know how long each day and weekend he plays that you consider too much. One persons too much is another persons reasonable amount after all.

he has had an xbox for about 8 years. he spent about 6hundred upgrading to the 360. it broke 6 months ago and he couldnt wait 2 weeks for it to come back from germany so he bought another one while it was gone. he now has 2. he's been online gaming since the 360 came out however long that is. he buys a new game roughly every 2 weeks.
weekdays he gets home from work at 5 plays till midnight. weekends he could start at 9am and finally turn it off at 1am. they are examples of bad days. but it goes on every single day without fail.

claireeney

thebman wrote: »

I don't see why your making his dinner for him all the time anyway.

Setup a timetable and ask him to stick to it, he won't.

Then, make your own dinner one evening and the kids and when he asks tell him it was his turn so you made the kids and your own dinner but not his since he ignored his responsibilites.

He might start waking up to the fact that your not his mother.

timetable eh....? i likes that! something to do in work tomorrow.

A Primal Nut

jhegarty wrote: »

It beats drinking , gambling and drugs.

Drinking can be part of a healthy social life which she can take part in nothing wrong with that.

thebman

claireeney wrote: »

he has had an xbox for about 8 years. he spent about 6hundred upgrading to the 360. it broke 6 months ago and he couldnt wait 2 weeks for it to come back from germany so he bought another one while it was gone. he now has 2. he's been online gaming since the 360 came out however long that is. he buys a new game roughly every 2 weeks.
weekdays he gets home from work at 5 plays till midnight. weekends he could start at 9am and finally turn it off at 1am. they are examples of bad days. but it goes on every single day without fail.

Okay yeah that isn't healthy lol.

Even when I was addicted as a kid I went outside :P

chrism2007

how long is this situation going on? i was in the exact same situation myself. i was addicted to the pc for a while. it started to really affect my relationship

i used to think at least its not drink,drugs etc.......

i just grew out of it though to be honest. it got boring. i wish i could give you a reason of what made me stop but i cant really to be honest.

if you want to ask me any questions feel free. ill try answer them

Dyr

claireeney wrote: »

.weekends he could start at 9am and finally turn it off at 1am. they are examples of bad days. but it goes on every single day without fail.

if he can play an xbox for 16 hours straight then he deserves some sort of medal tbh

LegacyUser

Keep a diary for a week of the whole family's activities, hour by hour. Who made dinner, who cleared up after dinner, who did homework with child, who brought child to activities, who put child to bed, who cleaned the house. Which hours he was gaming AND which hours you were watching telly. Which hours you spent doing something as a family together, which as a couple. Every day, just scribble something in each 1-hour block at the end of the day.

This will be a starting point for negotiation with him (the jumping off point being his "what else would I be doing" comment). Phrase your questions in terms of "how much do you think is reasonable for each of us to do around the house?" If he says "yeah in theory 50-50" or even if he says (and you find it justifiable) "well 70-30 because I work longer hours" or whatever, then ask HIM to plan out how these tasks could be divided up. Work out how many leisure hours you would like each to do your OWN thing in (eg gaming for him).

Then make it clear to him that if the timetable works, you will leave him in peace to enjoy his game without nagging interruptions, BUT during family time, couple time and housework time, his FULL attention to those activities would just be common courtesy and respect for the people who are supposed to be his loved ones.

MagicMarker

Fúck the xbox out the window, tell him if he wants to go and get it he can take the rest of his shít with him, because he's not getting back in.

The man is a tool, he needs some tough love if he's going to cop on.

Kinetic^

Stop doing stuff for him and see what he does. Been where he was tbh, takes a while to get it out of yer system. All gone now though.

thebman

Bambi wrote: »

if he can play an xbox for 16 hours straight then he deserves some sort of medal tbh

TBH I'm not sure if a 360 can run for 16 hours straight without getting the RROD :P

unhappycamper

OP,

I was a mad gamer up until I started my new business, now I am a mad business dude. I worked on games for Activision as a games tester and have been playing games since I could interact. Games by their nature are amazing creations and many times in my life I wondered what I would have done without them.

Trying to talk to your boyfriend when he is in this hardcore dedicated mode will only come across as ' nagging '. The only way around this in my experience is to let him do whatever he wants until he relaizes that he is behaving like an unsocial monkey nerd. As soon as he starts to realize that he is a bit of a cyber nerd he will want to become more social in every way. He has to realize this for himself but he will in time. Call him a cyber nerd and I guarentee he will start to feel guilty for only connecting with his cheap tacky rubber headset.

One day I woke up and said I am sick of these online meaningless junk relationships and I want to interact with real people. I started my business and haven't switched the x box on in over 2 months. All the games nowadays are the same 'whatever 4' and 'whatever 5', if he is a true gamer he will be tired of the rehashed rubbish thats on the market at the minute.

Perhaps OP your boyfriend isn't very happy in his job and he is shutting down or running away into the game world. Remember the word 'game' is to escape or to write a new destiny for you and your character, like the way one might read a book or watch a film. I think he is escaping into his own world and you best talk to him about that. Has he aspirations at all?

ShawnRaven

claireeney wrote: »

you think thats what i want to hear?? i have played it and dont see the attraction. ive played halo and i'm glad to say i have more cop on than to get addicted to a stupid pointless game. i have better things to worry about. slow clap for ur 47.

The guy gave his opinion, and it wasn't what you wanted to hear so you throw your toys out of the pram?!
With all due respect, but if that's your attitude in general to everyone, no wonder he spends more time in front of the xbox and less with you.

And if he says it's what he does to relax, stop and think about the fact that maybe he's stressed around you?

Not digging, but i know when my better half wrecks my head, i go straight for the games. Beats the hell out of having a Bobby Brown moment with the missus and saves a rake on legal fees, one would imagine.

NextSteps

Could you go away for the weekend, and leave him alone to mind the house and the child? He might wake up and see what he's doing to you. He sounds like an absolute selfish child, by the way - he'd have been out on his ear long ago if it were me.