How to deal with an adult crying in your presence?

connundrum

I had a man (about 40 odd in age) come into the office this morning enquiring about a job. As usual I brought him into the conference room, took his cv and explained to him that we have nowt at the moment and in fact we were letting guys go.

Then he burst into tears and started telling me that he'd be refused a visa if he wasn't in employment (his cv showed that he was a Nigerian National), and that he'd his children depending on him etc.

I don't think I've been in a more akward position tbh. I explained again about the 'no jobs anywhere' scenario, asked him if he wanted a tissue and let him on his merry way.

A colleague later told me of a man last week, getting down on his knees and pleading for a job, any job. She was seriously akward and had to call in a manager to help.

I can deal with people shedding a tear or two after a feed of gin, but this is unchartered territory for me. My brother reckons I should boot them out and tell them to be real men!

Any experience with this?

Professey Chin

I recommend a shovel

AnonoBoy

Pat them on the head, offer them a lollipop and then tell them to use their indoor voice if they start pleading.

Gummy Panda

Hot girl/woman give them a hug and a grope.

Man.. tell them to GTFO!

John Mason

+1 for the lollipop idea

stovelid

Give him your job.

Mossy Monk

connundrum wrote: »

I can deal with people shedding a tear or two after a feed of gin, but this is unchartered territory for me. My brother reckons I should boot them out and tell them to be real men!

You should also kick him into the face.

CreepingDeath

A lot of large companies have a HR policy of always interviewing with at least 2 people.

Also not sure why ye brought yer man into an office and reviewed his CV if ye knew you had no jobs for him

A polite "we'll keep your CV on file for when we're hiring again" would've done it.

Earthhorse

stovelid wrote: »

Give him your job.

Gets you out of an embarrassing situation and frees up your time to do something more productive.

ejmaztec

Tell him to go and cry in front of someone who gives a sh1t.


or


Start wailing and sobbing - that'll shut the fecker up...

Earthhorse

Mossy Monk wrote: »

You should also kick him into the face.

Into the face of what?

The cold, hard reality of the jobs market?

tallaght01

The secret to this is to "do something" so you're not sitting there like a spa.

I always grab them a box of tissues and hand it to them. It gives them time to compose themselves, and allows them to dry their eyes.

Give them a bit of time to cry, and it's easy as pie

The Master

If it was a bloke I'd punch him in the arm and tell him to stop being a little bitch

If it was a Woman I'd punch her in the gee and tell her to stop being a little bitch

connundrum

CreepingDeath wrote: »

Also not sure why ye brought yer man into an office and reviewed his CV if ye knew you had no jobs for him

He was standing at reception and there was two full blown conversations on the go at the time, thought it'd be better to show respect and bring him somewhere quiet where I could tell him that he was useless to me.

Might see if we can stick up one of them 'No Jobs Ere Matey' signs on the front door. Let em cry outside.

Turd Ferguson

My "argument ender" should work for this.
Basically what you need to do when someone starts crying is to get a scissors and pull you pants down slightly. Cut a chunk of pubes off and throw it in their face. You must then walk off triumphantly.

It works a treat to finish an argument, so should work in this situation also.

stovelid

connundrum wrote: »

Might see if we can stick up one of them 'No Jobs Ere Matey' signs on the front door. Let em cry outside.

Could work: No blacks, no dogs; no Irish, no crybabies.

Gummy Panda

If there is no jobs use the good line of "Sorry we don't accept paper CVs. All CVs must be sent digitally via our website/email address"

Professey Chin

No takers on the shovel idea so???
Bastids

Turd Ferguson

Gummy Panda wrote: »

If there is no jobs use the good line of "Sorry we don't accept paper CVs. All CVs must be sent digitally via our website/email address"

If there are no jobs going then it doesnt matter if they send in CV's. I'd take the piss then with something like "Sorry, we don't accept paper CV's. All CV's must be carved into a shark and then shot out of a cannon and into a specially designed net we have located on our roof. The shark must survive if you want any chance of an interview"

T-K-O

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

No takers on the shovel idea so???
Bastids

I can do you a deal on a 30kg bag of salt

Professey Chin

T-K-O wrote: »

I can do you a deal on a 30kg bag of salt

SOLD!!!!
Wait............oh right.Yep sold.

Gummy Panda

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

If there are no jobs going then it doesnt matter if they send in CV's. I'd take the piss then with something like "Sorry, we don't accept paper CV's. All CV's must be carved into a shark and then shot out of a cannon and into a specially designed net we have located on our roof. The shark must survive if you want any chance of an interview"

Yeah from experience even if you aren't hiring they become presisent on giving you a CV or looking to speak to a manager. If you advertise through your own site, you can show no jobs. If they send it through mail, you can keep it on record easily if you need someone in the future.

c - 13

Well if they're going to act like a child you should treat them like a child. So next time it happens jump up and down pointing and laughing at them shouting "Crybaby, crybaby ! I have a job and yooo-ooou dont, nah-nah-na-na-nah-nah"

Latchy

Comforting a friend ,male of female is one thing .Best thing I could have gave that man, besides a tissue is the samaritains number .They are very good at that sort of thing .

pablomakaveli

The trick here is to start crying and wailing louder than he is. When he see's you in the foetal position on the floor bawling your eyes out screaming for your mommy he'll feel awkward and realise how pathetic he was acting. Then he'll excuse himself and leave.

Works like a charm.:cool:

yoshytoshy

pepper spray them:)

antodeco

If the internet has shown me anything, the best thing to generally do is jizz on her face. They seem to love it if they have tears rolling down their faces.

Professey Chin

antodeco wrote: »

If the internet has shown me anything, the best thing to generally do is jizz on her face. They seem to love it if they have tears rolling down their faces.

I agree but I learned that from real life experience

Open-palmed, stiff-armed bitch slap across the mush.

Every. Single. Time.

steo87

antodeco wrote: »

If the internet has shown me anything, the best thing to generally do is jizz on her face. They seem to love it if they have tears rolling down their faces.

I commend you good sir

Gummy Panda

yoshytoshy wrote: »

pepper spray them:)

or one better. Be like the dog and bear mace them while singing Dog the bounty hunter theme.

Disease Ridden

Hmm that guy should really grow a set of testiclons lolz

S.I.R

connundrum wrote: »

I had a man (about 40 odd in age) come into the office this morning enquiring about a job. As usual I brought him into the conference room, took his cv and explained to him that we have nowt at the moment and in fact we were letting guys go.

Then he burst into tears and started telling me that he'd be refused a visa if he wasn't in employment (his cv showed that he was a Nigerian National), and that he'd his children depending on him etc.

I don't think I've been in a more akward position tbh. I explained again about the 'no jobs anywhere' scenario, asked him if he wanted a tissue and let him on his merry way.

A colleague later told me of a man last week, getting down on his knees and pleading for a job, any job. She was seriously akward and had to call in a manager to help.

I can deal with people shedding a tear or two after a feed of gin, but this is unchartered territory for me. My brother reckons I should boot them out and tell them to be real men!

Any experience with this?

Show him the door.

RoundyMooney

I'd like to see him try that sh1te on the streets of Lagos, and see how long he lasts.

OldGoat

I think you should ask the man for lessons in job interview techniques. Obviously you were way out of your depth in this interview and when your boss reads this you'll be out of a job yourself. So, practice, practice, practice...on yer knees and wail like a, like a..like a big wailing thing!

Earthhorse

If it's a man, quickly stage a fake funeral; only acceptable public event for us to cry at.

That and your team winning the Champions League.

RonMexico

Lovehearts are the only way. Remember those little sherbet sweets with things like "Kiss Me" printed on them.

What we need is recession ones with recession suitable slogans.

"You're Fired"
"FAIL"
"Dole Time"
"Grow a Pair"
"GTFO"
"Eat The Poor"

steo87

Kicke 'em in the goolies

BaconZombie

Bear Mace

Latchy

Go down the whole George Orwell route - riot squad ...GTF man outta my orrifice now .......

banshee_bones

wow that is awkward...i guess i would have got them a tissue, renforced my point of no jobs and led them out the door....

sillyputty

I have been told i'm useless when someone is crying - i should never become a helpline operator. I have a standard reponse to crying - tilt my head and a pat their back - not much help. If i'm in the precence of someone over the age of 9 crying i just freak out and have no clue what to say.

Indie18

S.I.R wrote: »

Show him the door.

and tell him if he cleans it you'll throw him a tenner.

Turd Ferguson

Start singing "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands"

Puddleduck

This is an acceptable way to ask for employment???

Score! *thinking something sad, dead puppies, world hunger, suffering, the discontinuance of my favourite childhood sweets*

*wobbly lip, tear filled eyes*

Pleuze mistur, has ya gots a job?'

Turd Ferguson

Puddleduck wrote: »

This is an acceptable way to ask for employment???

Score! *thinking something sad, dead puppies, world hunger, suffering, the discontinuance of my favourite childhood sweets*

*wobbly lip, tear filled eyes*

Pleuze mistur, has ya gots a job?'

Hmmm, if you keep your sig like that I can only imaging the type of 'jobs' you'll be offered

arybvtcw0eolkf

This one is easy ... Bring out 'The Gimp!.

Pighead

Rubbish with cryers. Absolutely rubbish. As soon as they start crying it's panic time. Pighead usually tells them that he's just going to the bathroom to get them a tissue and that he'll be back in a sec. Pure lies though. In reality he runs out the back door and keeps on running until he meets a happy person. These days those runs can take up to seven hours.

Puddleduck

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

Hmmm, if you keep your sig like that I can only imaging the type of 'jobs' you'll be offered

Yea, but hookin aside..I mean the punters just arent paying as much as they used to.

Also crying has never ever worked for me. EVAR!

Its like I grew boobs for nothing..

Professey Chin

Puddleduck wrote: »

Its like I grew boobs for nothing..

Ah thats not true. Of course they have a purpose

*honk, honk*

Turd Ferguson

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

Ah thats not true. Of course they have a purpose

*honk, honk*

Easy there chief...you nearly poked my eye out