Blow jobs - womans perspective

Dudess

OP, the more experience of it you have, the more comfortable you become with it - and when you develop a technique (particularly one that will have him hitting the roof with ecstasy ) it can be a fantastic experience.

LegacyUser

Faith wrote: »

Guys might not be too happy about it, but if they like you enough, I'm sure it's a sacrifice many would be willing to make.

No man should make this sacrifice!! Seriously.....men love them so why would they give them up for the rest of your life? No chance!!

Lads, if she don't go down then get rid!!

LegacyUser

I have an oral fixation and there is nothing I like more then having my mouth full
of a good sized hard smooth tasty cock, the feel of it, the weight of it, the push and play
of it through my lips, over my tongue, against the roof of my mouth or to just suck and lick
the glands of it.

I think a lot of women are caught up in the daft idea that it's wrong to like it and
it's demeaning, thing is it can be incredibly empowering, the things you can do
and how you can make him react and twitch.

Some women even orgasm from being fcuked in the mouth, I know I do.
Not everyone enjoys it as much as I do, but not ever woman has issues with it
that they had to over come.

Loxosceles

Personally, I find that a ratio of Irish men over the age of 35 need to improve the habit of washing under the foreskin. Older Irish men are used to more conservative bathing due to the era in which they were raised, as well as psychological blocks toward normal regular tumescence and self-relief that stretches the foreskin enough for washing. This very often adds up to a cheesy outcome. BLEAH! Younger Irish men are, however, tend to be far more clean-cut and scrubbed-up as a whole.

Dudess

Unregistered wrote: »

No man should make this sacrifice!! Seriously.....men love them so why would they give them up for the rest of your life? No chance!!

Lads, if she don't go down then get rid!!

So you'd be cool with a girl giving you head even though she hated doing so? Sorry, if someone doesn't like something, they shouldn't have to do it.

LegacyUser

GrumPy wrote: »

They repluse you? Fair enough if you dont enjoy them, but surely once hygiene isn't a major issue then it can't be all that bad imo. I mean, men deffo have the shorter end of the stick when it comes to oral, and you dont hear us complaining! :pac:

Elaborate on this please ?!

I'm a guy and I'd say this...if you don't like it, don't do it. However, if you don't like it the first few times and don't do it ever again thereafter then you are cutting out what could be a really enjoyable experience for both of you.

The guy in me wants to say "Give it a few more tries ! Maybe it will come good in the end !" (Forgive the pun), but if you REALLY REALLY cannot stomach it, then just say no.

HOWEVER, if its a problem of hygiene, say it to him. I'm a guy. If my girlfriend said "Hey, you're a bit whiffy down there...would you mind having a shower because its kind of hard for me to enjoy myself down here...I could come too and help with the...scrubbing... if you wanted....", then I would be in there like a shot, and from that he should get the message too. You have to tell him though, I bet he'd rather know so he can fix the problem than stop getting them altogether !!

Dudess

Oral fixation. wrote: »

I think a lot of women are caught up in the daft idea that it's wrong to like it and it's demeaning

I suppose, on a superficial level (not taking any other factors into account) the idea of it (particularly the ejaculation aspect) appears "demeaning" to some.

Dudess

GrumPy wrote: »

men deffo have the shorter end of the stick when it comes to oral, and you dont hear us complaining! :pac:

Oh yeah, "deffo" - those clitorises can choke ya...

LegacyUser

i always insist on my husband washing before i give him a bj
no wash no blow, simple as that.
if he respects and loves you he won't mind

Grimebox

i think im the only guy in the world who doesnt like this. ive never come from it and find a bit tedious after a few mins. just so you know not every guy is mad about it

LegacyUser

@Grimebox: Well is she doing it right? My Gf was ok at blowjobs at first but it would take me ages to come, however with a little advice from me and her basically asking what she could do to make it better has made getting a blowjob an amazing experience. Next time you two are getting freaky together try and guide her and get her to work the right places with her tongue, she's prob just being doing it wrong which seems possible to me. So help her out and you might find blowjobs to be very very good One tip I would suggest is use your hand to move her head down on you, you can dictate the right pace and I think this bit of control can help make it feel more engaging. Play around

Dudess

Dudess wrote: »

Oh yeah, "deffo" - those clitorises can choke ya...

I'm sure what he meant was performing oral on a guy is considerably easier/more straight forward than on a girl. (not that i've ever done it on a guy)

LegacyUser

One tip I would suggest is use your hand to move her head down on you, you can dictate the right pace and I think this bit of control can help make it feel more engaging.

Nonononononono..... just no.

be very careful before going down this route.

Tommy the Cat

Years ago I was going out with a girl in my early teens. She had been unfaithful and I was still raw about it. Anyhoo the conversation had turned into why she hated giving head. The usual lame excuse "I just don’t".

That kind of lit the flame. After all she had no problem with me giving her oral, even though another gent’s togger had been partying. I kindly escorted the lady to the door, open it and booted her in the tush.

Chris Rock said it best "Whenever I meet a girl that doesn’t give head...I look at her like a damn Betamax...They still make you?"

shellyboo

Unregistered wrote: »

ya but ya cant tell someone to wash themselves everytime or they would get offended!!! and if i was to do it i would be liable to have to ask them everytime!!

You most certainly CAN ask him to clean it every time. I'd say given a choice between washing before a bj and no bjs, most men would choose the first option. Depending on how clean you want it to be, even something like some baby wipes beside the bed might help you get over that mental block of 'it's dirty'? Alternatively, do it int he shower as other posters suggested.

Unregistered wrote: »

maybe i just had a bad experience and should try it again...

I think you should, OP. If you're in a relationship with a decent guy, just tell him your fears - that you're not really keen on it but you want to try, for him, and just ask him to be patient with you. I don't think many men would have an issue with their gf wanting to give them as much pleasure as possible... there's no need to be ashamed that you don't like it.

It's pretty scary really, having something in your mouth and throat, like you say. You *can* get to like it over time though. I used to be an "I don't do that" girl for various reasons, but I learned to love it with practice - and the better I got, the more I enjoyed it. So you can get to enjoy it. It's one of those things that you just need to DO, and once you have, you'll probably see that it's not so bad.

Just make sure all the variables are right for you before you try it again - an understanding guy, a clean area, and lots of patience. Take it slow.

Unregistered wrote: »

One tip I would suggest is use your hand to move her head down on you, you can dictate the right pace and I think this bit of control can help make it feel more engaging. Play around

A world of no. This is the very last thing you should be doing to a girl who dislikes or is inexperienced at oral sex. Do you want to put her off for life? It has to be at the woman's pace, especially if she's nervous. Giving a helping hand if fine with an established partner who knows what she's doing, but otherwise than that it's a BIG no-no.

Nitxteha

don't do anything that you don't like. Even if everybody else like it, if you don't... end of story, don't get stressed because of that.

Do only what you like and what you enjoy

LegacyUser

oh...BJ - my boyfriend LOVES them, but although i dont dislike doing this, i just find it so difficult. Its impossible for me to do it, the gag reflux is too much, and i panic incase i throw up or something...how bad would that be.
And he is quite big (not that im bragging or anything), and my mouth is tiny, so its so difficult for me. So poor man only gets about 1 a week, and thats if i really prepare and brace myself for it!!!!

Dudess

Have you said all this to him? It's not ideal that it's such a difficult experience for you yet you feel obliged to do it.

Tommy the Cat wrote: »

the conversation had turned into why she hated giving head. The usual lame excuse "I just don’t".

That kind of lit the flame. After all she had no problem with me giving her oral, even though another gent’s togger had been partying. I kindly escorted the lady to the door, open it and booted her in the tush.

Chris Rock said it best "Whenever I meet a girl that doesn’t give head...I look at her like a damn Betamax...They still make you?"

Great use to the OP. Tell me this, does the idea of sucking cock appeal to you?
Now why exactly should it be such a delightful idea to a hetero girl? Because she fancies men, therefore she'll automatically enjoy giving them head?
And "I just don't" is not necessarily a "lame excuse" - maybe she was unable to articulate why it didn't appeal to her. She was also only in her early teens (well that's what you say anyway) - it's a big deal for some and can require sexual maturity.
So you gave her head - I don't think "I give her head, therefore she can give me head" cuts it really. If you didn't want to give her head, you shouldn't have done so.

OP, there are a lot of responses here advising you that you "should" do it - don't do anything you're not comfortable with. At the same time, there can be situations where you're not entirely confident about it but you love your partner so much it would get you off to give him pleasure... wait until you're at least at that point.

coffee_cake

Tommy the Cat wrote: »

Years ago I was going out with a girl in my early teens. She had been unfaithful and I was still raw about it. Anyhoo the conversation had turned into why she hated giving head. The usual lame excuse "I just don’t".

That kind of lit the flame. After all she had no problem with me giving her oral, even though another gent’s togger had been partying. I kindly escorted the lady to the door, open it and booted her in the tush.

Chris Rock said it best "Whenever I meet a girl that doesn’t give head...I look at her like a damn Betamax...They still make you?"

Right well, I hope the next girl you meet is horrified you're not into being tied down and had an anal toy roughly used on you and dumps you for that :rolleyes:
Seriously, cop on.

OP, don't do it if you don't want to. Nothing will turn you off faster than that, not to mention you just shouldn't do it if you're uncomfortable with it. To hell with all these "norms" or "everyone else does it", it's about you.
If you feel it may have just been a bad experience and want to try it again by all means do so, it can be a lot of fun, but only if you don't feel under pressure to do so.

MadgeBadge

I was going out with my boyfriend for four and a half years and I used to hate giving them. I was very sexually un-adventurous.

I had kind of a one night stand after our relationship ended and found giving head such a turn on. I loved his reaction, I loved that I could make someone feel that way. It turns out I'm a sex fiend.

hot2def

GrumPy wrote: »

I mean, men deffo have the shorter end of the stick when it comes to oral, and you dont hear us complaining! :pac:

really? Have you tried both?

cause I have. and men have it easy.

panda100

hot2def wrote: »

really? Have you tried both?

cause I have. and men have it easy.

Reminds me of a great Samantha quote from Sex and the city :"You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothin."



I agree with everything Dudess said. Dont do anything unless your comfortable with doing it.
Personally its not my favourite thing to do in the world but If its with the right guy it can feel really good.

Call Me Jimmy

My gf said she HATED receiving oral but I found once I relaxed her about it and stressed how much of a turn on it would be for me she almost wanted to do it for me. Sadly I don't think she 'allows' me to do it for me anymore. I am convinced that nobody actually dislikes oral sex but due to insecurities/experiences of poor hygiene etc. they think they do. Shame really cause it's ****in' deadly :P

OP is the gagging fear the only reason you don't like doin it?

Tommy the Cat

This video is especially for dudess and bluewolf. Please watch it.



<snip>

LegacyUser

Sorry to go off on another tangent, but my GF says that she'll never do it for me because she thinks its very degrading.
Im not complaining, she can pleasure me well in other ways and its obviously her decision to make.
But are there any other women out there of the same mindset?

Loxosceles

Unregistered wrote: »

Sorry to go off on another tangent, but my GF says that she'll never do it for me because she thinks its very degrading.
Im not complaining, she can pleasure me well in other ways and its obviously her decision to make.
But are there any other women out there of the same mindset?

Intimacy cannot be achieved with anyone if one party feels like the gender status of the other person is getting in the way, and feels like they were made to feel inferior in some way or another, either by their partner or by men in general throughout her lifetime. Which, since a bj is in essence a service to someone, can feel like it's too much to ask since men may have taken more from her than she wants to give and she's had well enough. Like for example religious equality, opportunities in jobs, treatment by father etc etc. That would be why a woman would consider it 'degrading' since what's left to her is pride in her reputation and aught else. At least in *some* matters she feels capable of refusing favours and saying no.

I'd say the best way to get your hummer is to completely empower her in one form or another where men in her life have taken that away. Then maybe she'd love you enough to do it, and feel comfortable enough to enjoy it.

Call Me Jimmy

Unregistered wrote: »

Sorry to go off on another tangent, but my GF says that she'll never do it for me because she thinks its very degrading.
Im not complaining, she can pleasure me well in other ways and its obviously her decision to make.
But are there any other women out there of the same mindset?

I don't understand how it's degrading, if you're willing to go down town for her, how is her giving you head degrading?

Dudess

panda100 wrote: »

Reminds me of a great Samantha quote from Sex and the city :"You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothin."

And she's the character who supposedly enjoys doing it the most, yet look at all the things she can find wrong with it - even if said in jest (in a way, that clip also seems to concede "well yeah, it's not that enjoyable but I'd better do it anyway because I'm a woman and he's a man" - then again though, S&TC is all about that, despite claiming it's the opposite).

I don't want to come across as anti blow job - I'm not at all (in fact the opposite ) when it's for the right person. I just disagree with what seems to be an attitude that all women and gay/bi men automatically love even just the idea of it alone, otherwise they're not normal.

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I am convinced that nobody actually dislikes oral sex but due to insecurities/experiences of poor hygiene etc. they think they do.

I'd disagree with that - unless you're referring specifically to oral sex with the right person and not just oral sex alone.

Tommy the Cat wrote: »

This video is especially for dudess and bluewolf. Please watch it.

So anyway... as I asked earlier: do you find the idea of cock-sucking appealing?

Unregistered wrote: »

my GF says that she'll never do it for me because she thinks its very degrading.
Im not complaining, she can pleasure me well in other ways and its obviously her decision to make.
But are there any other women out there of the same mindset?

That's a strange one - you're her boyfriend and you appear to love and respect her. How could she find the idea of giving you oral "degrading"?

Loxosceles wrote: »

Intimacy cannot be achieved with anyone if one party feels like the gender status of the other person is getting in the way, and feels like they were made to feel inferior in some way or another, either by their partner or by men in general throughout her lifetime. Which, since a bj is in essence a service to someone, can feel like it's too much to ask since men may have taken more from her than she wants to give and she's had well enough. Like for example religious equality, opportunities in jobs, treatment by father etc etc. That would be why a woman would consider it 'degrading' since what's left to her is pride in her reputation and aught else. At least in *some* matters she feels capable of refusing favours and saying no.

I'd say the best way to get your hummer is to completely empower her in one form or another where men in her life have taken that away. Then maybe she'd love you enough to do it, and feel comfortable enough to enjoy it.

Jeez... I know I've been getting all political too, but she's got herself a great guy (by the looks of things) - it's rather a lot to project any issues she has due to her gender on her boyfriend.
If this is a major issue for her, OP, she should perhaps address it via counselling. It's unfair to make you feel like you're degrading her by asking for a blowjob.
And sometimes it just happens spontaneously in the middle of great sex - there isn't a need for "preparing for the event".

LegacyUser

bad tip wrote: »

Nonononononono..... just no.

be very careful before going down this route.

I completely agree.
I HATE it when a guy does that.
If shes going to go down on you, she'll go down on you, don't ruin it by pushing her head its so unattractive. Always gives me a really bad impression of the guy.

Victor

Folks, can we keep it on-topic and constructive?