Are motherly women responsible for lazy men?

IvaBigWun

So there I was channel hopping with the TV last week and up pops Loose Women. No I know how bad it is but its full of dirty MILFs so I decide to give it 5 mins.

Anyhoo, they are discussing how they blame themselves for useless men, as mothers they take care of their sons, as wives they go all out to be the perfect wife - then when they get fed up and trade in the hubby for a new one - the new one is just the same.

Do any married or cohabiting women here have lazy arsed men? Do you blame yourself or their mother for their ways?

Or do you have that rare specimen of a man that doesn't require your care?

Does your housekeeping fall apart if you are ill or away, can your man cope with keeping the house tidy?

One of my mates was very house proud and had a lovely place. He got married and stopped all housework effort - in his words 'I haz me a wife for that now', yet she works full time too.

Is it rooted in a mans mind that wifes are a surrogate mother?

Kernel

No, Xbox360 is responsible for lazy men.

banshee_bones

yes

Biggins

If a man OR a woman is going to be lazy, they bear the brunt of blame.
To just blame a mother is just sexist - what about the fathers?

Sage'sMama

Hah i totally agree. My brothers were never expected to anything in the house me and my sister had to help my mam even my dad is lazy he doesn't do anything housekeeping wise! Some men are different cos they had to look after themselves for a while but they get lazy when they are in long term relationships etc. My hby2b is fairly good at helping out we split most things. He cooks and gets the shopping, i clean, make sure clothes are washed/dry/put away, look after our pets and change beds etc etc. But i don't i'd say i was the lazier one!

Biggins

If a man (OR a woman) is going to be lazy, they bear the brunt of blame.
To just blame a mother is just sexist - what about the fathers?

NickNolte

Mothers are women too. If you don't want helpless, over-mothered husbands then don't over-mother your sons.

I always rebelled quite strongly against being too mothered when I was younger. I found it very suffocating. Although I can't believe the number of guys I see that are completely incapable of looking after themselves, whether it be cooking or tidying their apartments, because their mothers did everything for them all their lives. This is the mothers' fault, not the sons.

Gran Hermano

Are fatherly fathers responsible for their daughters becoming spoilt princesses and/or gold diggers ?

NickNolte

Gran Hermano wrote: »

Are fatherly fathers responsible for their daughters becoming spoilt princesses and/or gold diggers ?

Couldn't agree more. It's basically just bad parenting.

AnonoBoy

Marijunana is responsible for most of the lazy men I know.

iGoogle

Italian Women = Spoiled sons.

Phsyche

Definitely mom's to blame.

Women have this annoying habit of hinting at the things they want done and not just saying it. Men never 'get' this so eventually it turns into nagging which in turn putts men off doing anything at all.

A cousin of mine used to stay with us for the summer holidays. Used to do all his chores and help out in every way around the house. The minute his mother got there it was like he got split personality. He used to say, Yeah she'd shout and threaten if he doesn't do what she asked but at the end she will end up doing it herself.

Men like this grow up falling for women with similar personalities as their moms.

tribulus

My mam certainly blames my dads mother for him being the way he is.

As a result I'm quite different, leads to a bit of friction but meh, it's my dad.

anonymous_joe

I'd say being lazy is responsible for most lazy men.

Grimebox

my mother passed away when i was 3 and im still a lazy bollox! ... so no

joes girls

irish mothers have ruined the men and how many go running back to mammy when things go wrong.................i hate men .........for now.

NickNolte

joes girls wrote: »

irish mothers women have ruined the men and how many go running back to mammy when things go wrong.................i hate men .........for now.

Fixed that for you.

Abi

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Is it rooted in a mans mind that wifes are a surrogate mother?

Your friend yes. You, no.
Depends on upbringing tbph.

tony1kenobi

tribulus wrote: »

My mam certainly blames my dads mother for him being the way he is.

As a result I'm quite different,leads to a bit of friction but meh, it's my dad.

You have sexual relations with your dad?

tribulus

tony1kenobi wrote: »

You have sexual relations with your dad?

Lol, no.

Abi

tony1kenobi wrote: »

You have sexual relations with your dad?

Theres a rumour going around that you were quite close to your dog. Who went first?

K-9

joes girls wrote: »

irish mothers have ruined the men and how many go running back to mammy when things go wrong.................i hate men .........for now.

YEP, It amazes me when wives give out about the MIL but then repeat the same mistakes.

Local-womanizer

Them loose women are a crowd of narty aul biddies tbh.They give women a bad name.

They laughed for about 2 minutes because one of them said here man was messy

By jayus,who ever give them a platform to moan should be locked in a room with them for 6 days.

NickNolte

K-9 wrote: »

YEP, It amazes me when wives give out about the MIL but then repeat the same mistakes.

Controlling women? I don't believe that. :pac:

who007

I would say.. yes most definitely!

Latchy

I think so ,having seen it for myself .Their is laziness and there is laziness .


My mother was to busy working to over-mother us and I learned from early age how to cook .clean ,do things for myself .To that I am eternally gratefull to me

Sage'sMama

Lads are over mothered in this country it's time to kick their asses!

Tar.Aldarion

Yes, women are responsible for all of our problems.

allabouteve

joes girls wrote: »

irish mothers have ruined the men and how many go running back to mammy when things go wrong.................i hate men .........for now.

Sorry, but adult men are just that: Adult.

Stop blaming the mothers (Freud has so much to answer to) and blame the adults for their own behaviour.

Take some responsibility for yourselves.

anonymous_joe

allabouteve wrote: »

Sorry, but adult men are just that: Adult.

Stop blaming the mothers (Freud has so much to answer to) and blame the adults for their own behaviour.

Take some responsibility for yourselves.

Like popularising cocaine! The cúnt.

K-9

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

Yes, women are responsible for all of our problems.

YEP, now I know who caused the recession.


My Mum always was independent, ahead of her time, even in the 50's, first of the Feminists before anybody knew what it meant in Ireland.

I ironed, cooked etc. from an early age.

Lazy b*tch she was!

Did all the equal stuff and more in 2 relationships. Never again!

allabouteve

allabouteve wrote: »

Sorry, but adult men are just that: Adult.

Stop blaming the mothers (Freud has so much to answer to) and blame the adults for their own behaviour.

Take some responsibility for yourselves.

You just haven't met a proper power hungary Irish mamie woman yet.

SeekUp

Perhaps motherly women add to the problem, but are they responsible for lazy men? Pffft.

This reminds me of this guy who was on TV the other night . . . he had written a book and was discussing infidelity in marriages. Apparently, the men who go off and find lovin' elsewhere only do so because their women don't show them any appreciation, therefore they are "vulnerable" to the urge to cheat. So it's not really so much the fact that he made the decision to cheat, it's the woman who facilitated the action. Pffft.

Give me a break . . . men can decide what they want to do. Watch TV or get up and take out the trash. Watch TV or get up and make me dinner. Watch TV or get on top. It's all about the choice. And if they're lazy, it's because they want to be.

(Same with women, to be fair!)

K-9

SeekUp wrote: »

Perhaps motherly women add to the problem, but are they responsible for lazy men? Pffft.

This reminds me of this guy who was on TV the other night . . . he had written a book and was discussing infidelity in marriages. Apparently, the men who go off and find lovin' elsewhere only do so because their women don't show them any appreciation, therefore they are "vulnerable" to the urge to cheat. So it's not really so much the fact that he made the decision to cheat, it's the woman who facilitated the action. Pffft.

Give me a break . . . men can decide what they want to do. Watch TV or get up and take out the trash. Watch TV or get up and make me dinner. Watch TV or get on top. It's all about the choice. And if they're lazy, it's because they want to be.

(Same with women, to be fair!)

YEP, It's the usual blame everybody else mentality.

My problem is more with the women who moan about Irish lads being mothered, who then go onto mother The same Irish men in marriages or partnerships.

anniehoo

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Anyhoo,

Whaaa? Oh...wasnt me..carry on:D

Abi

Men who assume women should do all at home would clearly be helpless without a mother / gf /wife.

I wouldnt know. I take little part. He does it. I watch him while I sip a martini, and wonder., wtf is going on there.

I expect its probably to do with the fact that Ive no idea where the hoover or focking iron is. Awful arent I? No.

I grew up watching my mother iron face-cloths and focking socks..

Ask. My. Wavin.

K-9

Abigayle wrote: »

I grew up watching my mother iron face-cloths and focking socks..

That's OCD.

Latchy

I can only look at so much mess and then it has to be tidied / put away / washed / trashed . But it's 50/50 chore time in our house ......equal rights and all that .:p

This looking after them idea has it is upsides though.
Wise people don't bite the hand that feed them. ~evil~

Latchy

Moonbaby wrote: »

This looking after them idea has it is upsides though.
Wise people don't bite the hand that feed them. ~evil~

Tis nice to look after people and appriciate them and it's also nice to be appriciated .As long as it's not one way traffic all the time

nite nite .

Abi

K-9 wrote: »

That's OCD.

I knew that. Now its happening at my home... he washes and irons, hoovers and mops etc. Borrrring. Wtf?

Omg. Ive gone for the male equivilent of my mother.*sigh*. Bollöx.

SeekUp

Abigayle wrote: »

I knew that. Now its happening at my home... he washes and irons, hoovers and mops etc. Borrrring. Wtf?

Omg. Ive gone for the male equivilent of my mother.*sigh*. Bollöx.

Meh, just sit back, relax and enjoy your martini (or two)! And make sure to point out any spots that he misses.

Abi

SeekUp wrote: »

Meh, just sit back, relax and enjoy your martini (or two)! And make sure to point out any spots that he misses.

Advice taken

*sip*

Lil more to the left... bit more.. Thats it! Keep going over that spot...

SeekUp

Hmmmm. I like your technique. Perhaps I shall try it over the weekend.

*sip*

I have to prepare myself, of course.

*sip*

NickNolte

SeekUp wrote: »

Perhaps motherly women add to the problem, but are they responsible for lazy men? Pffft.

This reminds me of this guy who was on TV the other night . . . he had written a book and was discussing infidelity in marriages. Apparently, the men who go off and find lovin' elsewhere only do so because their women don't show them any appreciation, therefore they are "vulnerable" to the urge to cheat. So it's not really so much the fact that he made the decision to cheat, it's the woman who facilitated the action. Pffft.

Give me a break . . . men can decide what they want to do. Watch TV or get up and take out the trash. Watch TV or get up and make me dinner. Watch TV or get on top. It's all about the choice. And if they're lazy, it's because they want to be.

(Same with women, to be fair!)

In fairness, people tend to be a product of their environment and boys who are mothered to the point of total dependency up to the time they leave home are going grow up to me lazy men who need to be looked after. I'm not saying that excuses them but that's the way things are.

It's the same way that daddys who spoil their daughters (the last 15 or so years more than ever) watch them turn into the most intolerable of bitchy little princesses with a completely unjustified sense of entitlement.

A lot of Irish parents haven't a clue how to raise their children to be well balanced, nice people who can think for themselves unforunately.

Puddleduck

Ha! Lazy men are lazy because they are allowed to be. When/if I move in with the other half theyre will be none of this mothering crap. Ive no problem cooking or cleaning but for him to expect it of me would be down right stupid.

Declan30

When i meet up with my girlfriend she was surprised i did so much around the House.
I Told her when i was growing up we had to do it.
Then she went on to tell me her last boyfriend was lazy cos he was a mammies boy eveything was done for him:D

Mr.Lizard

It's not that we're lazy. We just don't want to do housework and don't see the need for it.

Neither are we incapable of tidyness. You should see my DVD collection. It's a masterpiece of organisation and tidyness. Or the the cabling for all the various gadgets littered my house. It's like a sistine chapel of copper wire. Flowing neatly from a to b and sometimes c on weekends.

On the other hand If I have a sock on the floor I don't care and don't see the point of picking it up until wash day. Similarly a cup or a bowl in the sink doesn't bother me either - either from an aesthic or even a hygenic point of view. I'll leave them there to pile up and then I'll stick them in the dishwasher I bought and press the little start button when there is enough to fill the thing.

Good luck finding a woman who'll organise your CD collection by genre and the sub-organise that from a to z or organise your toolboxes by task and item size. This is because stuff like this is an almost exclusively male neurosis. Likewise womens neurosis is keeping the house clean. It doesn't have to be done to the exent the average woman feels it must be, women just *want* it done that well.

We could each do the others task but the truth is we deep down we don't want and don't see any benefit in even trying. So best solution is that we should just accept now that we shouldn't.

Women, a man will never ask you do sort out his toolshed, don't ask him to clean up your house. To answer your question tho "no mothers have nothing to do with it", "thousands of years of evolution have all to do with it".

Latchy

I think also a lot of it has to do with the amount of stuff we collect compared to previous generations, who didn't have all this hi tec stuff today,with cables,wires etc ,everywere .Also , to much hygiene and cleanliness is as bad as to little. Constant advertisement tells us that our house's can be germ free if we use this and that product...pfff