After Hours Dragons Den

Slow Motion

OK So the economy is in the tiolet, the only thing to do is to encourage the natural entrepreneurial talent and abundance of original ideas that abounds here on AH. And it just so happens I have about 20 grand I conned out of some pensioners and am awaiting a large cash injection to my bank account from a Nigerian prince as a thank you as I am helping him to relocate his families riches out of his country.

So here is your chance, to pitch me an idea for a product and or service! If I like it, in the true spirit of the now deceased Celtic Tiger I will steal it, copyright it, and then put my money into it and run to da hills laughing madly while resting what I cannot immeaditly spend in off shore accounts.

So come on, impress me!

Mr. Incognito

Assisted Suicide Clinic.

Zzippy

In true AH fashion, how about setting up a printing company selling Yore Ma bumper stickers... :pac:

AnonoBoy

Some manner of device that will end reality TV shows once and for all.

Imagine it no more X-Factor, Britain's Got Scabies Talent, I'm a Celebrity Help Me Dance On Ice etc. etc.

The world would be a much better place and the economy would recover all by itself just from the sheer joy of not having that crap polluting our TV boxes ever frickin' day.

Give me the 20,000 and I will construct such a device!*


*Actual device may be made out of toilet roll inserts, sparkles and circuit boards from old calculators. Device may increase rather than decease the amount of reality TV on the air. Possible side effects include bloated stomach, lowering of IQ and death. Always read the label.

stovelid

A bank that offers huge loans to potentially compromised buyers. It's a winner, because if it looks like going under, it can be immediately shored up with taxpayer's money.

Mingey

An Vacuum cleaner with an Ipod docking station. Drown out that drone with your favourite humming tunes!

Puddleduck

A dressing machine, and a spring powered bed. Just fling you out of the bed and into your clothes.

Also a recession remote with a mute button.

Pompey Magnus

How about this idea that I came up with: Basically it is foldable legs that attach to a surf board which then converts it into an ironing board.

Think about it, your heading off on a surfing weekend and if you are like me you don't think of bring an ironing board with you, but nightmare, you discover that all you're clothes are creased and you have a hot date tonight.

Don't worry though because with my "Attachable Surf Board Legs" you can easily fit them to your board and iron away.

How about it?

javaboy

A joke steering wheel that goes left when you turn right, and right when you turn left.

Puddleduck

Charco wrote: »

How about this idea that I came up with: Basically it is foldable legs that attach to a surf board which then converts it into an ironing board.

Think about it, your heading off on a surfing weekend and if you are like me you don't think of bring an ironing board with you, but nightmare, you discover that all you're clothes are creased and you have a hot date tonight.

Don't worry though because with my "Attachable Surf Board Legs" you can easily fit them to your board and iron away.

How about it?

Try kneeling.

That will be one million euros please

Dragan

Slow Motion wrote: »

and then put my money into it and run to da hills

I always figured he was into the weird stuff alright.

Terry

javaboy wrote: »

A joke steering wheel that goes left when you turn right, and right when you turn left.

That would work for me.
I can't tell the difference between left and right.

Also, I have the best invention ever and I'm not telling anyone about it.

SEPT 23 1989

i have a crazy idea to run a pipeline out to the sea from the west coast and bring in and refine the €5.4 trillion worth of oil that belongs to the Irish people and in doing so make the country recession proof

Pompey Magnus

Puddleduck wrote: »

Try kneeling.

That will be one million euros please

Are you mad? Thats all well and good on a clean surface, but if you are trying to iron your shirt on the beach it will get sand all over the sections of the shirt which are hanging off the board. Attachable legs are the way to go.

Plus for only $29.99 extra I will throw in a set of table legs which will easily convert your surf board into a dinner table, great for a romantic dinner on the beach.

Puddleduck

Charco wrote: »

Are you mad? Thats all well and good on a clean surface, but if you are trying to iron your shirt on the beach it will get sand all over the sections of the shirt which are hanging off the board. Attachable legs are the way to go.

Plus for only $29.99 extra I will throw in a set of table legs which will easily convert your surf board into a dinner table, great for a romantic dinner on the beach.

Or...You could just learn to surf on some plastic furniture...

ejmaztec

Charco wrote: »

Are you mad? Thats all well and good on a clean surface, but if you are trying to iron your shirt on the beach it will get sand all over the sections of the shirt which are hanging off the board. Attachable legs are the way to go.

Plus for only $29.99 extra I will throw in a set of table legs which will easily convert your surf board into a dinner table, great for a romantic dinner on the beach.

Can we go 50/50 if I throw in my underwater electric steam-iron - the punters won't be able to resist such a combination?

ronaneire

Chocolate fire guards.

Pompey Magnus

ejmaztec wrote:

Can we go 50/50 if I throw in my underwater electric steam-iron - the punters won't be able to resist such a combination?

I can see where you're coming from, I don't think my customers would be ironing whilst surfing though so the underwater aspect may be unnecessary.

Puddleduck wrote: »

Or...You could just learn to surf on some plastic furniture...

Ooooh, good thinking. I could also design ironing boards with detachable legs so that they can be used as surf boards. Excellent, this plan is beginning to develop nicely.

Zangetsu

Zzippy wrote: »

In true AH fashion, how about setting up a printing company selling Yore Ma bumper stickers... :pac:

I'd buy one...

00112984

A gravy fountain. Like a chocolate fountain but with gravy and, instead of dipping in marshmallows and strawberries, it coes with mini roast potatoes and slices of beef.

I'm marketing it towards the culchie wedding brigade. You know the type, 350 at the wedding and all craving the gravy because the beef at dinner came with a "jus" but they don't eat that fancy s**t.

Hande hoche!

Hire a team of mercenaries and go capture Bin Laden.In the event of not finding him locate a look alike,a dodgy dentist and plastic surgeon.Deliver look alike's head to nearest US embassy and collect multi million dollar reward.Might want to stick it the freezer for some time to wait for the dollar to strengthen.

Turd Ferguson

How about an electric sandwich

Edit: Oh we can go into business selling t-shirts that say "I know Steve the Recession" or "I F*cked Mary Harney and all I got was this curry-stained t-shirt"

IvySlayer

I'd just bring in my homemade flash grenade, homemade sunglasses, stun them, and nick the money on the table and feck off home!

Slow Motion

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

How about an electric sandwich

Edit: Oh we can go into business selling t-shirts that say "I know Steve the Recession" or "I F*cked Mary Harney and all I got was this curry-stained t-shirt"

You are in the top 50 with that one:D

ejmaztec

Charco wrote: »

I can see where you're coming from, I don't think my customers would be ironing whilst surfing though so the underwater aspect may be unnecessary.

You'd probably change your mind if you knew that Extreme Ironing and Surfing was going to be an olympic sport. I'll keep you posted when I hear back from the IOC. :cool:

CountingCrows

Incandescent Lightbulb smuggling business

Aldebaran

Waterproof teabags

javaboy

CountingCrows wrote: »

Incandescent Lightbulb smuggling business

Think very carefully about your smuggling methods.

Smart Bug

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

Edit: Oh we can go into business selling t-shirts that say "I know Steve the Recession" or "I F*cked Mary Harney and all I got was this stretched 4XL t-shirt"

fyp

Smart Bug

A flying alarm clock. Y'member then windy helicopter thingys you used to have as a kid? Well, one of them on a self launcher that winds up & releases for when you set the alarm. You'd have to get up and chase the flucking thing down every morning, thus ensuring you're awake.

IvySlayer

Smart Bug wrote: »

A flying alarm clock. Y'member then windy helicopter thingys you used to have as a kid? Well, one of them on a self launcher that winds up & releases for when you set the alarm. You'd have to get up and chase the flucking thing down every morning, thus ensuring you're awake.

I have one, little late there....Unless we add a flame thrower to it...Wake up and turn it off or else the house goes down!!!

Smart Bug

IvySlayer wrote: »

I have one, little late there....Unless we add a flame thrower to it...Wake up and turn it off or else the house goes down!!!

It's already invented? Ah fluck it. Ok, ok...how about:

An alarm clock hardwired to a vial of deadly flesh eating bacteria, that will release onto your face if you don't get up in time

Slow Motion

Smart Bug wrote: »

A flying alarm clock. Y'member then windy helicopter thingys you used to have as a kid? Well, one of them on a self launcher that winds up & releases for when you set the alarm. You'd have to get up and chase the flucking thing down every morning, thus ensuring you're awake.

You're on to something there! However in my world when you hit the snooze button then the propellors would come out the alarm would then lift itself off the table and launch itself full tilt into the wall smashing to bits!*






*Obviously it would be a disposable alarm clock and you would need to buy 5 a week!

OldGoat

Develop a computer monitor that has 5 lick-able areas that conform to the 5 major food groups…beery, salty, cheesey, crispy and rasherey. Then when anyone ever mentions food you can lean forward, lick the appropriate spot, taste and enjoy.
Inter-Tastey…Web-Buds…FoodTasticO’Vision…NyomMonitor
I’d like money AND share options please.

00112984

Smart Bug wrote: »

A flying alarm clock. Y'member then windy helicopter thingys you used to have as a kid? Well, one of them on a self launcher that winds up & releases for when you set the alarm. You'd have to get up and chase the flucking thing down every morning, thus ensuring you're awake.

Something likes this already exists- Clocky. It's pretty cool but I'd given it a day before I smash it.

pablomakaveli

I'm going to adopt a load of chimpanzees and train them to drive so they can then be hired out as chauffers. Who would'nt want a chimpanzee as their chauffer?

The idea is worth millions. (Well probably not but it would be great to see a load of chimps driving cars around the place)

00112984

pablomakaveli wrote: »

I'm going to adopt a load of chimpanzees and train them to drive so they can then be hired out as chauffers. Who would'nt want a chimpanzee as their chauffer?

Will they also tell jokes?

Smart Bug

00112984 wrote: »

Will they also tell jokes?

No but I'd imagine they'll fling faeces at other drivers.

Slow Motion

00112984 wrote: »

Will they also tell jokes?

No but if yor give them all typewriters and leave them to it at their lunch break and wait long enough, hey presto! They will have re-written the entire works of Shakespere!

Smart Bug

Slow Motion wrote: »

No but if yor give them all typewriters and leave them to it at their lunch break and wait long enough, hey presto! They will have re-written the entire works of Shakespere!

"It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times..."