Cheating on girlfriend but I don't care. Is there something wrong with me?

LegacyUser

Hi compatriots,

I am a 20 year old guy in college.I have always had girlfriends but I constantly cheat on them.I have never been faithful.I currently have a girlfriend, very well liked in my uni,hard worker,even organises balls for other faculties,has done modelling and possibly the most amazing girl I have ever met.What brought this to a head is that I am currently sleeping with her best friend and have been since near the start of our relationship.

Her friend is basically the female copy of me and only thinks about herself.We are always screwing, even doing it in my girlfriends bed my girlfriend was cooking us food.I have also been kissing other girls but these have never been serious.I know I should feel bad but to be honest,I feel nothing at all.I told one of my female friends from home and she told me I needed therapy.I am just confused.

LegacyUser

yes

Húrin

I think you are taking the piss.

sunshinegirl

id imagine you've never been in love and then dumped.Dont worry you will some day and you will know the horrible feeling of pain and hurt.

As for the cheating,are you having safe sex with all these people?I think you should be honest with your girlfriend as she deserves better than this. What your doing is selfish and cruel.

What exactly are you confused about?

LegacyUser

So your constantly cheating and feel no remorse.Then break up with the girl, your being completely unfair on her and incredibly selfish. You obviously don't want a relationship. Stay single if all you want to do is screw around with people.

One day you'll have your heart broke by someone who'll cheat on you and disregard your feelings and treat you like sh!t and tbh you deserve it.

What kind of assh*** cheats on their girlfriend with her skanky supposed "best friend" in her bed with her cooking food in the same house??

Sounds to me like your well proud of yourself. having your cake and eating it as well.

Piste

Maybe you shouldn't be going out with girls. Why don't you just stick to casual relationships so you can have your fun and not hurt your girlfriends?

fugazied

Be a MAN and break up with your girlfriend. She is a human being and deserves more respect and a better boyfriend than you.

fifth

I have to say I don't think OP is taking the mick here, I know people exactly like him, they do exist. They have a compulsion for it and never think twice about doing it. But these same people would go through the roof if their partners did it to them.

OP, if I was to leave you with just one note: just imagine if it was the other way round.

LegacyUser

I had a friend like this too. He had a girlfriend he dated for 3-4 years and always claimed he loved her yet screwed half her mates and how many ever other women even when his girlfriend was in the same house etc. However, the second he saw his girlfriend talking to another guy he flipped the lid! It was sad cause everyone knew that he was sleeping around but her. Eventually she found out and dumped him and he was distraught of course. You would think maybe he'd have learnt from this but the next girlfriend came along and he repeated it all again. We had many fallings out over this as I would be the total opposite, cant stand that sort of behaviour. He has ruined many friendships because of this and he is no longer the mr popular he once was in his early 20's, his reputation now proceeds him. OP, id be careful because if you keep on the road your on you may start burning alot of bridges.

pseudonym1

It seems to me like you are boasting in your post. Why do you continue to go out with this girl?

What do you want some one to say - it is acceptable behaviour? Ir you have to ask than yes you have some serious issues.

You ought to find out what has desynthesized you so much and made you so unaware of the value of honesty and trust - that is what another person - from what you say, quite a nice girl, with lots going for her; has done. Knowingly you will betray that and double whammy with her mate - IMO she is worse and obviously jealous.

As far as I am concerned people who carry out such acts are the bad people in the world and are IMO no better than peadophiles. I think there must be an element that I will never understand. However if OP is genuine and wants help and diretion to be a nicer person that doesn t waant **** people up.

Cool -

Break up her and get some counciling!!

time lord

Its like anything. Its allright so long as you can stop it when you want to and dont slip back if you meet Mrs. Right. Totally normal behaviour for some guys.

dyl10

Why not just go out with your girlfriend's best friend?
You seem better suited and by the sounds of it, you could both have it every way

evercloserunion

If you're not taking the piss then you are at the very least an asshole and probably have some issues, did your mother touch you or something. Obvious answer is to break up with the girl and just **** around while single like most normal guys. But maybe it's not as cool to anonymously brag about that on the intarwebz? I seriously don't know.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

I have a friend like you. He has the finest girls ever, loyal and really nice women. Every woman he has been with he has cheated with. He has been doing this for as long as I know him. About 8 years now. I lecture him all the time about how he should respect women and treat them better. Thing is, it goes in one ear and out the other. It is actually quite annoying.

I'll say the same thing I say to him. Do you love this girl at all or is she just there for your own needs? Guaranteed sex in other words. You don't have to lie either, it's an internet forum where nobody knows you. What would you do if she was doing this to you? I feel sorry for the poor girl...

spinandscribble

pseudonym1 wrote: »

It seems to me like you are boasting in your post. Why do you continue to go out with this girl?

What do you want some one to say - it is acceptable behaviour? Ir you have to ask than yes you have some serious issues.

You ought to find out what has desynthesized you so much and made you so unaware of the value of honesty and trust - that is what another person - from what you say, quite a nice girl, with lots going for her; has done. Knowingly you will betray that and double whammy with her mate - IMO she is worse and obviously jealous.

As far as I am concerned people who carry out such acts are the bad people in the world and are IMO no better than peadophiles. I think there must be an element that I will never understand. However if OP is genuine and wants help and diretion to be a nicer person that doesn t waant **** people up.

Cool -

Break up her and get some counciling!!

i was with you right up to the pedo comment... different strokes and all that.

+1 to the rest of the advice

pwd

You're probably a sociopath. 1% of people are sociopaths apparently.

My experience would suggest it's much higher though. Probably is higher; the more sophisticated ones avoid detection in whatever these studies are, I'd say.

Red Hand

pwd wrote: »

You're probably a sociopath. 1% of people are sociopaths apparently.

My experience would suggest it's much higher though. Probably is higher; the more sophisticated ones avoid detection in whatever these studies are, I'd say.

+1.

Try out empathy OP. It's a basic human trait.

Balmed Out

You wouldnt ask the qustion without realising the answer. Your extremely selfish. People here giving you abuse when your looking for constuctive advice wont help either. Have you ever felt hurt? how do you get on with your parents?

Wibbs

OK folks, emotive subject I grant you, but please leave out the insults or calls of "sociopath" or any other "path" you've wikied once and stick to helpful advice. Thanks.

The Orb

What goes around comes around, if you continue to treat people with such emotional disdain for your own hollow gratification you will end up an emotionally dysfunctional loner, self-loathing and full of regrets. Normal people quickly figure out people like you, you're in for a future full of hurt and you fully deserve it.

LegacyUser

Why don't you just dump the girlfriend (in the process asking her test herself for STD's) and just stay single for a while. That way you can shag as many people as you like with no strings attached.

LegacyUser

Why are you in this relationship?? The fact that you seem so proud of your antics in your post and that you've actually called yourself 'Model Cheater' implies you've no remorse for what you've been doing and just want to boast about it.
You should break up with your girlfriend and do the casual thing.

girlbiker

You think you're a loser, you want the reliabilty of a girlfriend but the thrill of f^&king around cos you think you're pretty much worthless in every other way apart from sex( you mightened be very good at sex either, having sex in your gf's bed while she's downstairs makes me think that the girl you were with wasnt exactly satisfied in the twenty seconds you were rolling in the hay)
You screw around because you if you sit still long enough you relalise you have nothing else to offer. You Gf will catch you out but it doesnt matter because you can get another one and start the same situation all over again.
You need to grow up a little, you will someday but make sure its not too late.

Elessar

Life is short, you're fully entitled to sleep with as many women as you want. Nothing wrong with that. Some people are just not monogamous types.

However society sees the only acceptable relationships as monogamous ones. You have to assume that any girlfriends you're with assume the same.

At least be an adult and have the decency to break up with your girlfriend before you go sleeping with other women. It's ok to have fun, but not at the expense of others.

carlybabe1

modelcheater wrote: »

Hi compatriots,

I am a 20 year old guy in college.I have always had girlfriends but I constantly cheat on them.I have never been faithful.

I currently have a girlfriend, very well liked in my uni,hard worker,even organises balls for other faculties,has done modelling and possibly the most amazing girl I have ever met.

Thats good to hear, she wont be long replacing you so......

What brought this to a head is that I am currently sleeping with her best friend and have been since near the start of our relationship.

Wee bit of a misnomer there dontcha think :rolleyes:

Her friend is basically the female copy of me and only thinks about herself.

Hope for your gfs sake your using condoms.....

We are always screwing, even doing it in my girlfriends bed my girlfriend was cooking us food.

You mean you can last that long :eek::eek: ..... No wonder your such a stud muffin......every girls fanatasy..."this wont take longer than 4 minutes"....

I have also been kissing other girls but these have never been serious

.
Now, you know that still counts as cheating, right?????

I know I should feel bad but to be honest,I feel nothing at all.I told one of my female friends from home and she told me I needed therapy.

Nah, you just need a good dose of your own medicine, and trust me when I tell you, it WILL come back to you

I am just confused

About what , where you are?, your sexuality?, or the fact that you're just incapable of taking someone elses feelings into account

stupidusername

Looks to me like he's afraid of being dumped. afraid of being alone too. He's obviously selfish, and arrogant. But if he wanted to just sleep around with any girl he could stay single,as i'm sure he realises that, but if he doesn't have some girl to sleep with, or has been rejected by someone he can always go back to the girlfriend... obviously uses her to fuel his ego, and sex toy when no one else is up for it.

I doubt that this isn't made up though. Looks like an attention seeker, if it's true or not. Isn't that what ignorant lonely men do after all...make up stories about their non existent sex life? Just ignore him

MIN2511

Hmmm....

My thoughts on this and i will get a lot of PC BS but here it goes....

Personally i don't think people should be in relationships until they are > 22 and i am speaking from experience and I'd bet there are loads of young people out there with the same view.
Reasons because
1. Most 20yo are in College, discovering your inner self, sexuality and what you want from your future.
2. Mentally at this age all you can think of is sex, booze and drugs(excuse this) but it's the truth. Here's where you experiment and decide good from bad.
3. Few 19-22yo know what they want in life, this is the rebellious stage in your life, where loads travel to America(J1 visa),go to Amsterdam and generally cause havoc...



You clearly cannot handle a relationship(no pun intended) so why don't you do the decent thing-break up with you GF. Then you can sow your seed everywhere!

Same advice i gave my 19yo brother yesterday

evercloserunion

pwd wrote: »

You're probably a sociopath. 1% of people are sociopaths apparently.

My experience would suggest it's much higher though. Probably is higher; the more sophisticated ones avoid detection in whatever these studies are, I'd say.

I don't think he's a sociopath. Sociopaths lie and manipulate to advance their own interests and get ahead, what the OP is doing is just lying. He's not really doing it to get ahead or anything like that.

evercloserunion

MIN2511 wrote: »

Hmmm....

My thoughts on this and i will get a lot of PC BS but here it goes....

Personally i don't think people should be in relationships until they are > 22 and i am speaking from experience and I'd bet there are loads of young people out there with the same view.
Reasons because
1. Most 20yo are in College, discovering your inner self, sexuality and what you want from your future.
2. Mentally at this age all you can think of is sex, booze and drugs(excuse this) but it's the truth. Here's where you experiment and decide good from bad.
3. Few 19-22yo know what they want in life, this is the rebellious stage in your life, where loads travel to America(J1 visa),go to Amsterdam and generally cause havoc...



You clearly cannot handle a relationship(no pun intended) so why don't you do the decent thing-break up with you GF. Then you can sow your seed everywhere!

Same advice i gave my 19yo brother yesterday

I don't see why that post would attract "PC BS", it's actually a pretty PC viewpoint. I would disagree because (a) it's pretty futile (and PC, not to mention a tad creepy) to tell people when they should and should not be in a relationship and (b) though sex booze and drugs will tend to dominate young people's minds, a lot of them do think about other stuff.

But your opinion is not a particularly radical one (sorry to disappoint you if you thought it was).

Dudess

modelcheater wrote: »

Hi compatriots,

I am a 20 year old guy in college.I have always had girlfriends but I constantly cheat on them.I have never been faithful.I currently have a girlfriend, very well liked in my uni,hard worker,even organises balls for other faculties,has done modelling and possibly the most amazing girl I have ever met.What brought this to a head is that I am currently sleeping with her best friend and have been since near the start of our relationship.

Her friend is basically the female copy of me and only thinks about herself.We are always screwing, even doing it in my girlfriends bed my girlfriend was cooking us food.I have also been kissing other girls but these have never been serious.I know I should feel bad but to be honest,I feel nothing at all.I told one of my female friends from home and she told me I needed therapy.I am just confused.

See, this is the thing I find with certain "relationships" (particularly those of the OP's age, in college etc) - the two people aren't actually in love (surely that's what a relationship should be based on?), they just "get" a girlfriend/boyfriend because it's "the thing to do". A lot of the threads here are from people bemoaning the fact they're single rather than the fact they're not in love and it really does seem like they just want to be "going out with someone" rather than in a loving relationship with them, because their peers are doing so.
You're hardly in love with the girl OP, so why are you going out with her? Oh yeah, because she used to be a model etc and it's a major boost to your confidence to be able to tell people you're going out with her. The reason you don't feel anything is... you're not in love with her and more than likely never were.

Break up with her immediately and don't embark on a relationship with ANYONE until you fall in love. Then screw around (safely) as much as you want, once each girl involved knows the score - i.e. that you're not interested in anything more than sex.

Her "friend" seems evil.

Dudess

MIN2511 wrote: »

Personally i don't think people should be in relationships until they are > 22 and i am speaking from experience and I'd bet there are loads of young people out there with the same view.
Reasons because
1. Most 20yo are in College, discovering your inner self, sexuality and what you want from your future.
2. Mentally at this age all you can think of is sex, booze and drugs(excuse this) but it's the truth. Here's where you experiment and decide good from bad.
3. Few 19-22yo know what they want in life, this is the rebellious stage in your life, where loads travel to America(J1 visa),go to Amsterdam and generally cause havoc...

Yeah I agree with some of that... although I think the age should be more like 25 than 22, if not older - especially for guys (not tarring all guys with the same brush, but in general, guys are more able to separate emotions from sex).

But I only agree with some of it because of course there are people in their teens/early 20s capable of relationships and who would prefer it to shagging around.

banshee_bones

Come clean to your girlfriend.

She seems like a fantastic girl and by the sounds of it could probably do without a "Boyfriend" or "friend" like you and her alleged "best friend".

and as other posters have pointed out , i also would presume you have never been dumped by someone you felt very strongly about or even loved for that matter, but no matter you will someday.

I imagine you will start caring if you find yourself on the recieving end of this behaviour some day....


oh and to answer your original question......


YES

Dudess

I don't see how there's necessarily something wrong with the OP (as in, an illness). Selfish and egotistical and arrogant, sure. Quite insecure also seeing as he needs to have a "girlfriend" to validate himself, but sadly, that stuff's common. I don't think it's anything that can't be resolved by him just recognising these things about himself and waiting until he falls in love to embark on a relationship, and being honest with women instead of putting on a charming act etc.

MIN2511

evercloserunion wrote: »

I don't see why that post would attract "PC BS", it's actually a pretty PC viewpoint. I would disagree because (a) it's pretty futile (and PC, not to mention a tad creepy) to tell people when they should and should not be in a relationship and (b) though sex booze and drugs will tend to dominate young people's minds, a lot of them do think about other stuff.

But your opinion is not a particularly radical one (sorry to disappoint you if you thought it was).

Not disappointed at all...

I voiced my opinion-it's PI after all...


There is no age to be in a relationship, majority of us young people dunno what we want.

That_Guy

It's people like you that cause so much hurt to good, honest people who do not deserve it.

You'll get yours.

Munster_Gal

I think the fact that you even asked is there something wrong with you kinda answers the whole scenario....

Break up with her. You're being completely unfair to her. She deserves much better than you're giving her.

Loxosceles

Oh lord I am so glad I am 37 and not nearly as gullible as I used to be about 'love' as a young woman. Fortunately for me this added up to being considered the town prude back home all during my 20s, even though my attitude about sex is actually quite liberal and has gotten me accusations of sluttery in this country.

As for this dude, ugh.

My advice to all women is, you have 2 choices.

1) Go with someone who is highly moral, like a minister or theologian or someone who is naturally devoted to any kind of male self-discipline be it yoga or military etc, and includes sexual self-discipline as a proper outlet for greater love. Or,

2) keep yourself lovely, desirable, coquettish and nearly unattainable, wipe your hindquarters with men until one comes crawling bleating words of love and devotion and begs for your hand in marriage, marry them, and then if you can't fit them with a chastity device, take all their money so you have at least something equally as shallow to revel in as they will inevitably revel in casual sex when the interest has petered out no matter how much 'love' they claim to feel. And if you find out about it, cheat on them, which they can't present in divorce court because he cheated first, then take all his money, keep making your own money, get a line of hot gigolos who get dumped whenever they ask for money (or marry again, rinse, repeat), and eventually die by the pool with a margarita in your hand and nothing to pass on in inheritance to bitter ingrates, because you spent it all.

Kenno90

from what i've read , your girlfriend seems like a lovely girl , ...pity she ended up with you

Koushki

Húrin wrote: »

I think you are taking the piss.

i agree.

MIN2511

Koushki wrote: »

i agree.

I do not think he's taking the piss....

Typical PI post is started by victims rather than perpetrators, the OP in this case is the perpetrator.

People like the OP exist, typical AH joke will find that loads of us on boards have cheated and have had someone cheat on us. The OP sounds confident, he gets all the girls, has a nice GF who "trusts" him but he's cheats on her with her best friend, friends and non friends...

Stereotype: typical d4, UCD/Trinity student, may work/not, arts student, first/second year student, good looking, healthy, into sports etc.

It happens everyday! We all know someone who's cheating on their partner or someone who's being cheated on, or the "other" person in a relationship.

I still stand by my advice, break up with the GF and then you can shag anyone you want and not feel guilty.

Húrin

evercloserunion wrote: »

I don't think he's a sociopath. Sociopaths lie and manipulate to advance their own interests and get ahead, what the OP is doing is just lying. He's not really doing it to get ahead or anything like that.

I think it's quite likely that the OP views each girl he sleeps with as "progress" in the notched up bedpost. In his own mind he probably is getting agead in some way.

Dudess wrote: »

Yeah I agree with some of that... although I think the age should be more like 25 than 22, if not older - especially for guys (not tarring all guys with the same brush, but in general, guys are more able to separate emotions from sex).

But I only agree with some of it because of course there are people in their teens/early 20s capable of relationships and who would prefer it to shagging around.

I don't agree with saying "especially for guys". A lot of girls this age tend to prefer the lads who shouldn't be doing relationships (and end up disappointed), rather than the lads who are capable of it.