My Mam is pregnant - I can't believe it! (Read first post)

Victor

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LegacyUser

Where to start,ok well my mam is pregnant (separated from my dad) she's late 40's, I'm 21 and ughh the thoughts of her doing it just sickens me ! I really didn't think she was still sexually active anyway she's pregnant she told me earlier today and my head has been just full of anger and disgust towards her !

I flipped at her and left the house and have now moved in with my gf ! I have no intention of seeing her after this cause she's not the person I thought she was.
I feel totally ashamed and disappointed at her.

I'm a long term registered user on here but needed to vent this somewhere otherwise I'd go mad !

Melion

Are you going to stop having sex when you're in your 40's? Cop on to yourself, grow up and stop acting the idiot. My mother had a son 4 years ago when i was 21, she was 40. Whats the problem?

minidazzler

Do you know who the dad is? Does She?

40's is not that old. I mean ya, you are going to have a sibling who is nearly 22 years younger than you, but it's not that bad really!!!

What I want to know is why the hell she wasn't practising safe sex?

sardineta

Now you've got that off your chest you can log on again.

Dudess

Probably gonna get a paddling for this but meh, here goes:

You seem like a horrible son.

Disappointed ! wrote: »

I'm 21

Yep, sounds about right. Although to be fair, there are plenty of 21-year-olds who don't act like they're 15.

ughh the thoughts of her doing it just sickens me !

Yeah I don't like the idea of either of my parents doing it either but that wouldn't be enough of a reason for me to be angry at my mum for being pregnant.

I really didn't think she was still sexually active

Seriously? You think a woman's sex drive just vanishes after she gets to an "acceptable" age at which to have sex? LOL.

anyway she's pregnant she told me earlier today and my head has been just full of anger and disgust towards her !

Um... why?

I flipped at her and left the house

Oh how supportive of you. You didn't stop to consider how mind-blowing this was for her at all... what loving son could do more...

and have now moved in with my gf !

Ew... the thought of her son having sex must be disgusting for your mum.

I have no intention of seeing her after this cause she's not the person I thought she was.

Why? Because she's still having sex and it will embarrass you?

I feel totally ashamed and disappointed at her.

Ok, maybe the baby's father is some randomer and you're a bit ashamed of that - elaborate perhaps.

I'm a long term registered user on here but needed to vent this somewhere otherwise I'd go mad !

I can understand why you wouldn't have the balls to use your real username all right...
Grow the fuk up.

Jaino

Wow. Why are you so disgusted? You need to try and get over the fact that your mother has sex. That is NOT really a big deal.
It would be a big deal though if you were never to talk to her again because of that.

Gordon

Well done OP, she's probably over the moon and you're off throwing a tantrum. Imagine how she feels. Why do you not think it's ok for your mother to have a child? If she thinks that you shouldn't have a specific girlfriend would you do what she says?

Salome

OP - were you dropped in by the stork from the cabbage patch? How the hell do you think you came into the world then?

Grow up. Your mum needs your support - it won't be easy for her to have a baby at her age.

So act your age - she doesn't need two babies to look after!!!!

Overheal

Is this about her doing the dirty or the idea that you thought she was to remain celebate after your parent's divorce? Or do you feel that trying to create a new family member with a new man is somehow a diminishment to you? Have you discussed this with her? Are you even particularly sure what has you so angry? Under most circumstances a step-sibling can be a great blessing. Think of all the things you'll get to teach him - s/he'll look up to you.

Hang on: do you have any other siblings?

minidazzler

Maybe the OP is p1ssed off because when his little brother or sister is 21 and having the time of his/her life, the OP is gonna be all old!!!!

Really OP, grow up, you sound like a 7 year old who just found out the same, and is throwing a tantrum.

star-pants

I can understand initially you're taken aback by all of this. But your mother is still relatively young (regarding having children), some people don't start their families until they're 35+.

If this was a random fling and she wasn't careful then I could understand you being mad at her not being safe. Is this a guy she's been with a while? Also, accidents happen even when you are careful.

I'm not sure why you're ashamed/disgusted at her? That's a bit unfair tbh, she's your mother and loves you and she's pregnant so you feel sick and won't talk to her?
If my mother turned around and told me she was pregnant (i'm 25 and she's just 50) I would personally just be concerned as my mother is of ill health. Other than that I'd be delighted for her if she was happy. There's no 'use by date' on people for sex.

I think you should perhaps take some time to think about this, initially you're mad and angry and you need to give it time to sink in, maybe you will be able to see a bit clearer when you've had more time?

flan59

What a spineless git you are, what gives you the right to decide your mother is too old for anything. Some son you are, I guess she is better off without you if thats the best you can do for her. Maybe she made her biggest mistake having you.

towel401

lucky sod

i am the same age as you. my ma is the same age as yours and i`d love a lil brother or sister.

but ppl in their 40's and even in their 80's get up to all sort of freaky **** are you supposed to stop shagging when you get to 30 or 40? once you get married maybe?

Dudess

If the OP posted that he was worried because of her age (it is a risk to the baby) and a bit freaked by this pretty life-changing event, I think people would be very supportive. Even if he expressed some disappointment at his mother for not using protection (although maybe there was an accident) and/or if the baby was the result of a one-night stand or fling... but he was still tactful with her and understanding of how freaked she must be... then I think people would be understanding.

But all he's concerned with is how "disgusting" it is that his mum is still having sex and how it will embarrass him and he has acted extremely cruelly and selfishly to her, so sympathy... bye bye.
Even if it's a spur-of-the-moment reaction it's appallingly childish and he should apologise to his mother pronto.

ladyella

Your mam was probably so worried about telling you in the first place so go easy on her. Your 21, time to let go the hero worship... let you mam live her own life while you go about getting your own.

Gran Hermano

OP, if I acted as you have upon hearing my mother was pregnant I'd be on the phone now telling how sorry I was for my earlier outburst and put it down to shock. Do not be suprised if your girlfriend also starts to see you in a new light.
Have some respect for your parents, do you think they found you under a cabbage?

Kenno90

Disappointed ! wrote: »

Where to start,ok well my mam is pregnant (separated from my dad) she's late 40's, I'm 21 and ughh the thoughts of her doing it just sickens me ! I really didn't think she was still sexually active anyway she's pregnant she told me earlier today and my head has been just full of anger and disgust towards her !

I flipped at her and left the house and have now moved in with my gf ! I have no intention of seeing her after this cause she's not the person I thought she was.
I feel totally ashamed and disappointed at her.

I'm a long term registered user on here but needed to vent this somewhere otherwise I'd go mad !

dude she's 40 not 400 , people remain sexually active for many years after that , as for the pregnancy she's prob felling very sad that her son is not talking to her even though she did nothing wrong

Aseth

OP, being 40 doesn't mean you should stop having sex and just lie down and wait to die. Nowadays people as old as 60 and more are still enjoying sex!
Does your mother tell you that you should not have sex as you are too young for that?!
Honestly I think you should grow up and first and most apologize your Mum.
I'm also sure that after your brother/sister is born you would be happy to have a sibling.
If you can't cope with that maybe it's time to look for a place and move out?

Dudess wrote: »

Of course, because he's a guy... :rolleyes:
Moms don't do that stuff.

+1

How did it go? ... 'Oooh, Stifler's Mum!'?
OP, Maybe you should see 'American Pie' and educate yourself a little?

LegacyUser

When your new brother/sister is your age will they be disgusted at their aged brother still having sex in his 40's?

Salome

ladyella wrote: »

Your mam was probably so worried about telling you in the first place so go easy on her. Your 21, time to let go the hero worship... let you mam live her own life while you go about getting your own.

That's exactly it - she's fallen off the pedestal he put her on - nail on the head there ladyella!!!

OP, you're 21 - do you hope to be still having sex when you're in your mid-forties? Surely your mother is entitled to a private life?

Just think, you're going to have a little brother or sister - that's got to be good. Support your mum, afterall, she's been supporting you for 21 years.

Dudess

Salome wrote: »

do you hope to be still having sex when you're in your mid-forties?

Of course, because he's a guy... :rolleyes:

Moms don't do that stuff.

Salome

Dudess wrote: »

Of course, because he's a guy... :rolleyes:

Moms don't do that stuff.

I'm nearly 40 and not a Mom so there's hope for me yet :rolleyes:

Gran Hermano

Dudess wrote: »

Of course, because he's a guy... :rolleyes:

Moms don't do that stuff.

Way to go with the sexual stereotyping. Whilst the OP has issues with a pregnant mum and most likely would not throw his toys out of the pram to the same extent if his dad told he was after fathering a child this does not mean all men have the same outlook.

biko

Disappointed ! wrote: »

I flipped at her and left the house and have now moved in with my gf

I didn't need to read this to know you were male. Probably only child still living at home sponging off your ma.

However, she is an adult and has the same rights as you to happiness and sex. Is she in a steady relationship? If not, is that what bothers you?

Dudess

Gran Hermano wrote: »

Way to go with the sexual stereotyping. Whilst the OP has issues with a pregnant mum and most likely would not throw his toys out of the pram to the same extent if his dad told he was after fathering a child this does not mean all men have the same outlook.

I never said or even implied that - I implied the OP would think that way because his post very much paints such a picture of him.

lolli

Op,

When I was 18, my older brother was 22 and my younger one 12 my mam gave birth to a perfect baby girl at the age of 43. When myself and my siblings found out we were certainly in shock and in a way a little bit mad but we were no way disgusted by our mother. Looking back now we were all very selfish because we were all looking at how the baby was going to affect our lives and we werent thinking about our mother. She was in shock herself and needed our support, after all she had spent 22 years raising us and she then had to start all over again. She hadnt planned to have anymore children but it just happened.

Bear in mind my mother was already a granmother at that age, my brother had become a dad the year before A lot of tears were shed by myself & my younger brother who always wanted to be the baby and his nose was a bit out of joint. My mother was going through a hard time herself at the thought of becoming a mother again in her 40's. Myself and my younger brother attended the scan along with our father and when we seen the baby moving on the scan our hearts melted.

When my little sister arrived all the previous feelings we had were gone. I seen my sister when she was a few seconds old and all I felt was pure love and I just wanted to protect her. My parents were delighted with her as were my brothers. My sister is 6 years old now and I adore her, she has us all wrapped around her little finger, we couldnt imagine our lives without her now. She adds life to the house

Op, I know its hard but your feelings will change. You need to stop being selfish and think about how hard this must be on your mother. She has spent the last 21 years minding you and now she had to start all over again. That must be hard on her. You need to support her not run her into the ground. When the baby arrives you will love it more than you ever thought, I speak fom experience. Please stop thinking about yourself and support your mother.

Princessa

Ok so in 19 years you are going to make an appointment to chop your penis off, just incase you are tempted to use it in your 40 i mean the down right shame. Did you call the police? Im shocked, poverty, starvation and now 40 year olds having sex, what is this world coming to??? :eek: Grow up she is your mother and she needs you now.

Lollipops23

you acted like a spoilt brat OP.it's hard enough to be pregnant at that age, with all the extra worries associated with being an older mum. you're an adult and even if you were shocked you could have been more supportive. nobody likes to think of their parents doing it but your reaction was totally uncalled for. I hope she gets a better class of child in this baby than she did you; you appear to be incredibly selfish.

Overheal

I think the OP has heard enough of the Negative aspect of the issue: Any other empathetic views?

TequilaMockingBird

minidazzler wrote: »

What I want to know is why the hell she wasn't practising safe sex?

Lol. Maybe the lady was trying to get pregnant.

MagicMarker

Overheal wrote: »

I think the OP has heard enough of the Negative aspect of the issue: Any other empathetic views?

Nope.

OP, I wonder how your mother is going to cope with two babies now. Grow up and stop acting like a tool. You mother needs your support, not for you to storm off and sulk like a little boy.

TequilaMockingBird

Overheal wrote: »

I think the OP has heard enough of the Negative aspect of the issue: Any other empathetic views?

Lollipops23

The OP told us how disgusted he was by all this, the fact that nobody has agreed with him suggests his reaction was OTT.

Salome

It's hard to empathise with such an immature diabribe TBH.

OP, it's a tough time for you but imagine, it must be a million times harder for your mum. It's very hard to be pregnant in your forties - she'll be more tired than she was when she was expecting you and then there's the usual worries that she'll have about having a child at her age.

It's a shock for you but please, get over it - she needs you.

LegacyUser

OP here,
Yes it may seem like I'm acting childish etc but that's how I feel.
As for the sponging off "your ma" comments I've been paying rent at home since I was about 17/18 I've never sponged off her and will never ever live back with her again !
I have an older brother ( 26) he isn't too happy either he' taked to her but isn't exactly ver the moon .
As I've just found out also today that a guy who I thought was just her friend has been havin sex with her too kinda ike a fcuk buddy set up which is also what has me disgusted at her .

And yes those of you who said she's better off without me you's are probably right so I'll certainly be doing that.
I've had to turn my phone off cause she keeps ringing and texting me !
And my gf can see why I'm upset and not as a bastard etc !
I no more want a brother or sister at my age so there'll be no joy outcome of this for me !
And of course I'm not that naieve about how I was born :rolleyes: but she was married and was starting a family and was younger back then not older or sleeping with a so called friend being a slut !!

And if she was all up for having sex and being in the situation she is in with this guy then she should have thought about the fact that her sons will be disappointed etc and may not be supportive of her so she was bg a bold enough to behave like that s now she can deal with the consequences of her actions ! .

LegacyUser

MagicMarker wrote: »

Nope.

OP, I wonder how your mother is going to cope with two babies now. Grow up and stop acting like a tool. You mother needs your support, not for you to storm off and sulk like a little boy.

Fully agree with you's that say I'm acting childish but that's how I fell towards her and she won't have2 babies to cpe with she'll have one and only one as I'm not there anymore with no intention of going back !

Storm_rages

Ok well i will have some sympathy for the Op! (not saying he has behaved well but i would guess its a bit of a shock)

To be fair its a shock. When my mum told me she was pregnant it took me a little while to get use to the idea (i was ten at the time!!)

I think people are being very hard on the OP. Ok his thread is showing him in a very bad light and i bet when he gets his head around it he will ring his mum and show some support.

Wibbs

Overheal please leave modding to the mods. Thank you.

Lollipops23

oh good lord. if possible, my opinion of you has deteriorated.so what,she had a **** buddy?none of your mates have ever done that?cop yourself on.if i was your GF i'd be freaking out-will you be this much of an arsehole if she gets pregnant accidently?your mum is 40.Demi Moore is older. you telling me she's past it?

Your mum is better off without your immature antics IMHO. Shame you can't be a man and support her.

towel401

Disappointed ! wrote: »

I have an older brother ( 26)

so she had him when she was like .. 15? ok its possible but this is starting to look more and more like fakeness

Macha

Disappointed ! wrote: »

OP here,
Yes it may seem like I'm acting childish etc but that's how I feel.
As for the sponging off "your ma" comments I've been paying rent at home since I was about 17/18 I've never sponged off her and will never ever live back with her again !.

Whatever about paying rent since you were 17/18, she still provided a house for you at probably well below the market rate, no doubt with other creature comforts thrown in. Add in all the years of raising you before that and she deserves your respect.

Disappointed ! wrote: »

I have an older brother ( 26) he isn't too happy either he' taked to her but isn't exactly ver the moon .

So all the responses of the people here are negated by your brother's reaction?

Disappointed ! wrote: »

As I've just found out also today that a guy who I thought was just her friend has been havin sex with her too kinda ike a fcuk buddy set up which is also what has me disgusted at her .

Why?

Disappointed ! wrote: »

And yes those of you who said she's better off without me you's are probably right so I'll certainly be doing that..

Yes do her a favour and don't go near her with your negativity until you cop yourself on.

Disappointed ! wrote: »

And my gf can see why I'm upset and not as a bastard etc !

So your gf tells you what you want to hear. What's new :rolleyes:

Disappointed ! wrote: »

I no more want a brother or sister at my age so there'll be no joy outcome of this for me !

Try and get your head around the following concept: this isn't about you.

Disappointed ! wrote: »

And of course I'm not that naieve about how I was born :rolleyes: but she was married and was starting a family and was younger back then not older or sleeping with a so called friend being a slut !!

Now you're heading into dangerously mysogynistic behaviour. It is totally unacceptable to refer to your mother using this language. Absolutely disgusting and double standards. You seem perfectly happy to have sex yourself. Hypocrite.

Disappointed ! wrote: »

And if she was all up for having sex and being in the situation she is in with this guy then she should have thought about the fact that her sons will be disappointed etc and may not be supportive of her so she was bg a bold enough to behave like that s now she can deal with the consequences of her actions ! .

Oh so it's HER fault that your reaction is so unsupportive and immature! Words fail me...

littlebug

OP this is probably as much of a shock for your mother as it is for you. Think of the extra stress you are adding to an already difficult situtation for her. Like it or not she is pregnant and no amount of ranting and raving is going to change that. Think what you want but pregnancy at that age can be risky and difficult so would you consider at least pretending to be civil for the sake of HER health.

LegacyUser

Lollipops23 wrote: »

oh good lord. if possible, my opinion of you has deteriorated.so what,she had a **** buddy?none of your mates have ever done that?cop yourself on.if i was your GF i'd be freaking out-will you be this much of an arsehole if she gets pregnant accidently?your mum is 40.Demi Moore is older. you telling me she's past it?

Your mum is better off without your immature antics IMHO. Shame you can't be a man and support her.

Yea I'm sure they have had fcuk buddies but there#s a big difference between them and my mam..they'r younger,no attachments and do not have 2 sons !! she never even considered obviously what her actions would look like if anything as to happen or be found out !.

And yes she is better off without me ! as I'd only make her sadder by being around her with the way I se her now so in a way I'm doing her a favour by disowning her .

LegacyUser

towel401 wrote: »

so she had him when she was like .. 15? ok its possible but this is starting to look more and more like fakeness

What are you talking about fakeness !! first of all she is not 40 I never actually said her specific age- she's 46 not 40 !! so where you're getting having my brother at 15 from she had my brother when she was 20 me when she was 25

January

towel401 wrote: »

so she had him when she was like .. 15? ok its possible but this is starting to look more and more like fakeness

He said his mother was in her late 40's.

OP, If my mother told me she was pregnant tomorrow, I'd be disappointed in her because she's always told me she doesn't want anymore children. But, in no way would I be disgusted at her.

She had a partner that she has sex with and yes, maybe she should have been a bit more careful, but except for the fact that she's pregnant, would you have ever had known she was having sex with this guy?? I doubt your mother wanted to tell you she was having sex, because it's none of your business!! It's her life and she can do what she wants with it.

I think you do need to take some time out and think about this. Your mother needs you right now, she's probably feeling afraid and alone now that her son has abandoned her. What she probably needed was a hug and a bit of support. I know when I got pregnant (I'm 21 so it's a bit of a difference), I was so scared, I didn't know what to do... Maybe she's the same? Did you ever think about that?

MagicMarker

OP, I really feel sorry for your mother.

She gave birth to you, went through sleepless nights, spent the last 20+ feeding you, clothing you, keeping a roof over your head, dedicating her entire life to you. And the moment she announces she's pregnant, you turn your back on her as if she were nothing.

You are an utterly despicable, poor excuse of a man.

Dizzyblonde

OP you seem to have very high standards for your mother - I hope you live by the same standards. Here's the thing: your mother's sex life is none of your business.

holly1

MagicMarker wrote: »

OP, I really feel sorry for your mother.

She gave birth to you, went through sleepless nights, spent the last 20+ feeding you, clothing you, keeping a roof over your head, dedicating her entire life to you. And the moment she announces she's pregnant, you turn your back on her as if she were nothing.

You are an utterly despicable, poor excuse of a man.

Grow up young fellow,welcome to the real world.
You called your mother a slut:eek:,SHAME ON YOU.:(

Sephiroth_dude

You sound like a twat,you should go back to your mother and apologise give her a hug and congratulate her,shes carrying your brother or sister and she does'nt need this kind of grief from you,she needs your support.grow up!!!!!

LegacyUser

I agree with you OP, seriously who wants to hear that they're going to have a younger brother or sister at 21?! I would definitely never live in that house again.