Ladies have ye ever experienced this

Vampireskiss

I was just wondering if you have ever known a guy who you didnt find the slightest bit attactive then not see hime for a while and when you saw him again he had completely changed physically and you were very attracted to him?

PGstudent

Like the Hulk?

Dragan

This is always something that gets a good laugh out of me. Physically i have changed a lot over the years, from tubby kid and early teens to physically impressive late teens, chubby early twenties and now a very happy tall dark and broad type.

As such, i have had this happen to me quite a bit, when i run into girls i haven't seen in a while and they come out with the "wow, you look amazing now, would you like to meet for a drink".

My default answer is always "no", simply because i am still the same person i was and all they want to do now is **** the packaging.

But yeah, obviously people will change physically over time and people get better or worse looking depending on what life throws at them and how they live their lives.

Ollchailin

Yep, happened to me! It's not so much that he changed a huge amount physically- just tidied himself up a bit, bit more pride in his appearance I suppose- and isn't as crazy anymore (I used to be slightly scared of him!)

I wasn't one bit attracted to him and now I think he's the hottest man in the world... and going out now for 2 years!! Yeay!:D

masonman

Dragan wrote: »

This is always something that gets a good laugh out of me. Physically i have changed a lot over the years, from tubby kid and early teens to physically impressive late teens

Ah yes, "the modest years"

queue theme music from "the Wonder years" Action..

Kevin- "And thats when it hit me - I'm physically impressive..Winnies gonna dig this beefcake!" :pac:

Twee.

Haha, happened with me. I used to live in Led Zeppelin t-shirts/baggy trousers and was always the real "matey" girl in the group, ya know, the lads never fancied me but we had a great time hanging out. Now I'm much more style conscious (in a good way!) and confident. Still wear the LZ tees though, just not teamed with the army shirt and boys shorties.
I've also met some old friends out and thought wow they look great, but that's just because they've grown up/are more "manly" than when they were 16!

Weidii

Ye, I used to be the baggies girl too, people actually didn't recognise me at my debs. Dunno if it makes me feel better that I look good with makeup on though!

Galvasean

Dragan wrote: »

As such, i have had this happen to me quite a bit, when i run into girls i haven't seen in a while and they come out with the "wow, you look amazing now, would you like to meet for a drink".
My default answer is always "no", simply because i am still the same person i was and all they want to do now is **** the packaging.

Good on ya man! Nothing worse than the 'Hey, did you get less ugly?" approach. You could always go one step further and really twist the knife by responding, "Do you remember back when you considered yourself too good for me? Yeah, well now I'm too good for you!:pac:"
Then you strut off into the night while music from the BeeGees plays.

Censorsh!t

Weidii wrote: »

Ye, I used to be the baggies girl too, people actually didn't recognise me at my debs. Dunno if it makes me feel better that I look good with makeup on though!

Sounds a bit like me! I also went through the baggy clothes years. Barely anyone has seen me in a dress.
At my debs, a load of the girls in my year actually complimented me and looked kind of shocked.
I'm still the 'just a friend' out of my group of friends though.

FruitLover

Galvasean wrote: »

Yeah, well now I'm too good for you!:pac:"
Then you strut off into the night while music from the BeeGees plays.

I think getting laid instead would be better tbh.

Galvasean

FruitLover wrote: »

I think getting laid instead would be better tbh.

I think getting laid by someone nice would be even better.

Papillon87

Dragan wrote: »

This is always something that gets a good laugh out of me. Physically i have changed a lot over the years, from tubby kid and early teens to physically impressive late teens, chubby early twenties and now a very happy tall dark and broad type.

As such, i have had this happen to me quite a bit, when i run into girls i haven't seen in a while and they come out with the "wow, you look amazing now, would you like to meet for a drink".

My default answer is always "no", simply because i am still the same person i was and all they want to do now is **** the packaging.

But yeah, obviously people will change physically over time and people get better or worse looking depending on what life throws at them and how they live their lives.

Love it! My weight has gone MAJORLY up and down over the last few years too (on the downsizing route again now...for the last time ) and the one thing that has seriously amazed me is how differently people treat you based on something as superficial as your weight. Seriously, having been (and hoping to be once more!) 7 stone and, eh, somewhat heavier, I can speak with authority on the matter! It really annoyed me when I realised it after slimming down a bit again. The opposite sex in particular. Suddenly doors are opened, they are generally more chivalrous toward you. I'm sure they wondered why I was scowling as they made these gestures, but I couldn't help being tempted to say "Eh, you didn't do that when I was a couple of dress sizes bigger".

The same thing happened re: guys asking me out. In particular a guy in college, who had known me heavier, asked me out when I lost weight. I just retorted the same thing as Dragan, "No. I haven't changed as a person, and I don't like shallow people".

Dimitri

Papillon87 wrote: »

The same thing happened re: guys asking me out. In particular a guy in college, who had known me heavier, asked me out when I lost weight. I just retorted the same thing as Dragan, "No. I haven't changed as a person, and I don't like shallow people".

Hmm maybe i'm being a bit insensitive but its a bit harsh calling him shallow isn't it, in my book while personality is obviously important it is equally important that i find that person attractive before i ask them out.

Papillon87

Dimitri wrote: »

Hmm maybe i'm being a bit insensitive but its a bit harsh calling him shallow isn't it, in my book while personality is obviously important it is equally important that i find that person attractive before i ask them out.

Well, he clearly liked my personality already. Of course someone has to be attracted to someone, I understand that. However maybe I'm not your typical girl in that I've gone out with considerably larger guys because I tend to fall for people based on personality, and faces. You can have a pretty/handsome face but carry a bit of extra weight. I'm more of a face person I guess everyone is different. I personally just never base things purely on appearance *shrug*

Wibbs

There is also the argument that your change in physical appearance is driven by an internal change. So someone who was over or under weight and clearly worked on that to the degree that they change radically, may be a more attractive person because of those internal changes required for such a transformation. I remember a women I knew. Nice person. Pretty but not my type as such. She was fairly big, but I didnt see her for over a year and next time I did, she had a body honed to perfection in the gym. I still didn't fancy her, but I was more attracted to her mental change, which was obvious as much as the physical. She had been quite withdrawn before. I'm probably not explaining that too well though:o

Yeah, there was a guy in my class in college who was lovely but not great looking. He took a year off and came back really hot! Unfortunately, it went to his head and he wasn't so nice anymore which totally put me off

andyred

Up till about maybe 2 years ago I never got any attention off women. I was maybe a little overweight (not much...a stone probabaly) but just not very confident around the ladies. I was always the quiet one but extremley respectful towards women but at that age they all seemed to be attracted to the drunk loud lads and I always went home alone.

So really start hitting the gym a couple of years back and just got more confident around women. Now I love it when I meet the women I used to hang around with cause now they are older they realise those drunken loud guys they went for all ended up treating them like **** and now that I look good and am more confident and Im still the nice guy they want a piece of me.....well I tell them all to go **** themselves!!! (Im not bitter I swear)

MJOR

yeah normally after fifty gin and bitters:D:D:D

Otis Driftwood

Ive been on the receiving end of this.From the ages 16 to approx 24/25 I was a total skin head,shaved my head every week,had a thick goatee,pierced eyebrow,combats,metal band t-shirts,the works(one of the few metal heads in a small town).Looking back now,females were actually scared of me because of how I looked as I was always very respectful to women folk but they took one look and would run a mile.In fairness though,I found an old photo that was taken during that time and I did look like an awful scummer.
Nowadays though Ive got a "respectable" haircut,am more concious of what I would wear and am clean shaven(although I am currently sporting the beard of unemployment-trying to stave off the boredom by growing one )
Its amazing how people perceive me now.Dont get me wrong,women arent throwing themselves at my feet or anything but there have been nights when I have gotten the "i remember you from school,you were always really sound"
Its like WTF????We barely spoke for 5 years but you know how sound I am.
Still,Im not one to hold a grudge.;)

minidazzler

Dragan wrote: »

This is always something that gets a good laugh out of me. Physically i have changed a lot over the years, from tubby kid and early teens to physically impressive late teens, chubby early twenties and now a very happy tall dark and broad type.

As such, i have had this happen to me quite a bit, when i run into girls i haven't seen in a while and they come out with the "wow, you look amazing now, would you like to meet for a drink".

My default answer is always "no", simply because i am still the same person i was and all they want to do now is **** the packaging.

But yeah, obviously people will change physically over time and people get better or worse looking depending on what life throws at them and how they live their lives.

I have gone through similar things now, but the difference is in the last 2 years my personality has totally changed, I am not the same person in anyway, I look quite different, well my Body, my head is still the way it was. So I accept the advances of females who in the past would have said to me, "I only wanna be friends", but I will never date them too long, I am only 19, screw relationships!!!

nedtheshed wrote: »

Nowadays though Ive got a "respectable" haircut,am more concious of what I would wear and am clean shaven

Sellout!!!! :D:D

nomorebadtown

Nope never happened with me, I was always a ride.

K-9

[quote=[Deleted User];59090019]Yeah, there was a guy in my class in college who was lovely but not great looking. He took a year off and came back really hot! Unfortunately, it went to his head and he wasn't so nice anymore which totally put me off [/quote]

LOL, lovely but not great looking.

So he came back horrible but good looking!

Wimminz!

I think you'll find the change isn't so much physical, but more mental.

Dragan

Wibbs wrote: »

There is also the argument that your change in physical appearance is driven by an internal change. So someone who was over or under weight and clearly worked on that to the degree that they change radically, may be a more attractive person because of those internal changes required for such a transformation. I remember a women I knew. Nice person. Pretty but not my type as such. She was fairly big, but I didnt see her for over a year and next time I did, she had a body honed to perfection in the gym. I still didn't fancy her, but I was more attracted to her mental change, which was obvious as much as the physical. She had been quite withdrawn before. I'm probably not explaining that too well though:o

Holy hell Wibbs, i think this is the first post i have seen you make that doesn't cover that vast majority of angles and reach a pretty spot on conclusion?

Are you tired? Or Sick?

In regard to the outward being an indicator of possible internal change to the third party, they have no idea what the driver may be. When i made my first physical change in my mid to late teens it was driver by anger, hatred, self loathing....all sorts of bad emotions and i was in a pretty bad place.

Other people would have taken the change as being positive simply because to them, the result were positive. The drivers in my case were definitely negative. In much the same manner that they can be for anyone else who has made a change.

The person at the other end may simply apply weight to possible "positive mental changes" because that is what they want to see, as opposed to that is what actually occured.

Zee Deveel

Yes, it's happened me before. But far more often, I've found that I go from not finding people particularly attractive, becoming friends with them, and the more I get to know them, the far more attractive they become to me.

In the meantime, I've seen people I've known forever go from seeing me as a 'mate' to finding me quite attractive on the rare occasion I've dressed up to go out, which I've always found just a little disconcerting, but however.

Wibbs

I agree with Dragan. The external is what others may want to see and a change in that could be driven as easily by an unhealthy inner change as much as a healthy one. It still denotes an inner change though and that could be what attracts someone and not just the physical.

We could get all deep and reductive about this and say pretty much most of what is considered physically attractive is a reflection of internal reproductive fitness. Women with a particular hip waist ratio have been shown to be more fertile than women who don't. A hip ratio that regardless of dress size and fashion is considered attractive by males over time. So Kate moss has the same as the venus de milo and marilyn monroe all the way back to ancient sculptures of fertility that appear exaggeratedly obese to modern tastes. You can say similar for a lot of male external characteristics too, though the male has more internal and external values. A fit lithe male all things being equal is more attractive than an overly skinny or fat guy(or overly bulky too).

OK so you know someone for a while and you have them pegged in that "I wouldn't" box. It could be down to the physical and emotional(especially maturity in males). Say a scrawny guy who is a wall flower with little to say and not much direction in his life.

6 months later(and I reckon it has to be at least that time), the same guy has filled out, is more outgoing and appears to be moving forward in his life and it comes as a surprise on top of his obvious physical changes. That would equal attraction. He may then move into the "I would" box. I've even seen that with women who left guys. Didn't see them for a year, meet them again and instant attraction and they want them back. The self same guy they swore to all and sundry, that they "just didn't feel that way about him anymore". I've seen blokes do it too over women. I must say in those cases it was almost all about her external changes though.

Attraction is a very deep feeling. It has little conscious choice about it.

Femelade

Vampireskiss wrote: »

I was just wondering if you have ever known a guy who you didnt find the slightest bit attactive then not see hime for a while and when you saw him again he had completely changed physically and you were very attracted to him?

My boyfriend:)
He's handsome...

t-ha

[quote=[Deleted User];59090019]Unfortunately, it went to his head and he wasn't so nice anymore which totally put me off [/QUOTE]Yeah that happened to me pretty much - although thinking back I was probably always a bit of a wa**er?

brianthebard

Zee Deveel wrote: »

Yes, it's happened me before. But far more often, I've found that I go from not finding people particularly attractive, becoming friends with them, and the more I get to know them, the far more attractive they become to me.

In the meantime, I've seen people I've known forever go from seeing me as a 'mate' to finding me quite attractive on the rare occasion I've dressed up to go out, which I've always found just a little disconcerting, but however.

One should never underestimate the impact something simple like dressing up can have on how others view you.

PeakOutput

Dragan wrote: »

My default answer is always "no"

im sorry but i have to say i think that is retarded. there are so many different factors.

the main problem i have is that your straight off discounting any possiblity of the person who knew you when you were a teenager or whenever having changed in the time since you have last saw them

there are plenty of people i loathed because of how they treated me when i was younger( i met plenty of people like this from when i was very very young right the way till i left secondary school, more people like this in fact than people i actually liked) 90% have turned out to be fairly decent people who i would have no problem with now and would give them any chance for a drink they wanted

i dont think you can blame any 15 - 21 yr old for being shallow and wanting the perfect looking girlfriend / boyfriend the world we live in bombards us with this as being right and even saying that you(royal you not you in particular dragan) are above that and better than that has a certain amount of arrogance which is unattractive in itself

i cant really think of an example of someone i knew when i was younger and didnt fancy and they came back a few years later hot as hell, mainly it was the other way around to be honest with reasons for it ranging from me realising they are not nice people to the usual extra few stone people put on when they leave school / reach 18 and start going drinking properly / stop playing sports, delete as appropriate.


looks are hugely important in a relationship and i dont think its shallow at all to say so. its only shallow if that is the only thing you look for

kowloon

I'm no fine wine: I don't improve with age.

Pherekydes

brianthebard wrote: »

One should never underestimate the impact something simple like dressing up can have on how others view you.

One should never underestimate the impact something simple like getting locked can have on how others view you. The OH always seems to find me more attractive when she's drunk.

brianthebard

This is also true. Also peoples eyes get bigger with booze, making them more attractive.

TiGeR KiNgS

brianthebard wrote: »

This is also true. Also peoples eyes get bigger with booze, making them more attractive.

lol........dont you beer goggles