can being a smartarse pay off??

Adam

so there's been two slips of paper through the letterbox over the last two days, informing me that i was to leave the kleeneze catalogue outside for collection.
....wait, what? i have a kleeneze catalogue?? oh look at that, i do. only i dont remember asking for it! and now they want it back...

step2: ??(<--- insert your genius here and i'll share the monies and glory)
step3: profit

Karoma

Get some magazines and newspapers, and glue.
Create a ransom note.


or leave a note saying you donated it to some charity for starving bearded babies in Albania or whatever else was posted in the door recently (Leave contact details).

or leave a note trying to start a conversation.

Mhmm...weetabix

Adam wrote: »

so there's been two slips of paper through the letterbox over the last two days, informing me that i was to leave the kleeneze catalogue outside for collection.
....wait, what? i have a kleeneze catalogue?? oh look at that, i do. only i dont remember asking for it! and now they want it back...

step2: ??(<--- insert your genius here and i'll share the monies and glory)
step3: profit

step2: Make a ransom note from letters cut from the 2 leaflets they put through the door & for every day they delay send them a page of the catalogue!

Sleipnir

Tell them you have all the boxes of tissues any man could use in a lifetime.

Adam

Karoma wrote: »

Get some magazines and newspapers, and glue.
Create a ransom note.


or leave a note saying you donated it to some charity for starving bearded babies in Albania or whatever else was posted in the door recently (Leave contact details).

or leave a note trying to start a conversation.

this wasn't too far from my first thought. can i keep it, and rack up a holding fee as i don't seem to have any room in my schedule to return it for oh about ten years.....

keane2097

Burn it - cheap fuel ftw imo.

consultech

Step 2: Start your own collection service and get 10,000 of them from residential areas, then hold them for ransom and sell them back to Kleeneze for 20c per magazine. By the sounds of it a large slice of their capital is tied up in their magazines, which they obviously use again. Without these in operation they could be in trouble, so will pay you for them rather than have to print them again (more expecnsive than 20c). I would imagine that they do not own something once it is posted in to your house?

Step 3: teh profitz

Mhmm...weetabix

consultech wrote: »

Step 2: Start your own collection service and get 10,000 of them from residential areas, then hold them for ransom and sell them back to Kleeneze for 20c per magazine. By the sounds of it a large slice of their capital is tied up in their magazines, which they obviously use again. Without these in operation they could be in trouble, so will pay you for them rather than have to print them again (more expecnsive than 20c). I would imagine that they do not own something once it is posted in to your house?

Step 3: teh profitz

"Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter"

kf1920

Type up a bill for storage cost, and delivery, (as you will be delivering it outside)

And add in that not goods shall be transferred til payment of fees owed.



Or

"My partner and I thought long and hard about this decision and the fact we are giving this Kleeneze Catalogue, we would like the opportunity to get to know you better before we commit to such an enormous act, entrusting the care of this catelogue into your hands. Say Dinner, ours at 9 on Friday, Please bring wine"

stovelid

Leave a picture of Mary Harney with a phone number and love note attached.

Mhmm...weetabix

stovelid wrote: »

Leave a picture of Mary Harney with a phone number and love note attached.

You fiend :eek:

Adam

consultech wrote: »

Step 2: Start your own collection service and get 10,000 of them from residential areas, then hold them for ransom and sell them back to Kleeneze for 20c per magazine. By the sounds of it a large slice of their capital is tied up in their magazines, which they obviously use again. Without these in operation they could be in trouble, so will pay you for them rather than have to print them again (more expecnsive than 20c). I would imagine that they do not own something once it is posted in to your house?

Step 3: teh profitz

now this is the kind of genius i'm looking for. however, how do i acquire everyone elses copies??

i'm leaning towards karoma's conversation idea right now...

Exhibit A

RaverRo808

Step 2:give it back,someone who puts catalogs in doors is obviously doing it because of hard times,every catalog that is not handed back comes out of their pocket,so be nice and hand it back

Adam

stovelid wrote: »

Leave a picture of Mary Harney with a phone number and love note attached.

i'm liking it....*chinstroke*

consultech

RaverRo808 wrote: »

Step 2:give it back,someone who puts catalogs in doors is obviously doing it because of hard times,every catalog that is not handed back comes out of their pocket,so be nice and hand it back

Meh!

kittensoft1984

RaverRo808 wrote: »

Step 2:give it back,someone who puts catalogs in doors is obviously doing it because of hard times,every catalog that is not handed back comes out of their pocket,so be nice and hand it back

+1

My mam used to do this and they have to pay for every catalogs they get.

Be nice and give it back

Adam

kittensoft1984 wrote: »

+1

My mam used to do this and they have to pay for every catalogs they get.

Be nice and give it back

tell your mam to get a real job, or go on the dole like normal, less annoying people

Mhmm...weetabix

Adam wrote: »

i'm liking it....*chinstroke*

Just relieved you said chinstroke in a Mary Harney thread!

kittensoft1984

Adam wrote: »

tell your mam to get a real job, or go on the dole like normal, less annoying people

That was uncalled for. And I said USED to do it. As in not anymore. Read the post you idiot.

Adam

kittensoft1984 wrote: »

That was uncalled for. And I said USED to do it. As in not anymore. Read the post you idiot.

you should take me less seriously!

Lu Tze

Set up an elaborate trap, using a precariously placed car and some steel rope (I am Legend) with the catalogue as bait...

consultech

RaverRo808 wrote: »

Step 2:give it back,someone who puts catalogs in doors is obviously doing it because of hard times,every catalog that is not handed back comes out of their pocket,so be nice and hand it back

... to fund their swan-meat feasts, no doubt.

Gummy Panda

kittensoft1984 wrote: »

+1

My mam used to do this and they have to pay for every catalogs they get.

Be nice and give it back

Question: Did she ask the home owners did they want to receive the magazine before popping it into the letterbox?

Anytime i receive stuff like this, I consider it spam and bin it. None of them ever say they'll be collected.

Adam

consultech wrote: »

... to fund their swan-meat feasts, no doubt.

dont you dare hijack my thread, this is tuesday afternoon. dont tarnish that! :eek:


i'm not sure what tuesday afternoon has to do with ANYTHING!

Lu Tze, good thinking. i'm short a car though. and some steel rope. and possibly a crane.

kittensoft1984

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Question: Did she ask the home owners did they want to receive the magazine before popping it into the letterbox?

Anytime i receive stuff like this, I consider it spam and bin it. None of them ever say they'll be collected.

Yes. she didnt just drop them in the doors. We knocked and asked if they wanted one

Karoma

RaverRo808 wrote: »

Step 2:give it back,someone who puts catalogs in doors is obviously doing it because of hard times,every catalog that is not handed back comes out of their pocket,so be nice and hand it back

You're either make a big (ignorant) assumption, or ...a big ignorant assumption.
You're either basing this theory on extremely limited sample data, or just making an ass-umption that comes across as obnoxious as saying "Only the poor go door to door". Explain your reasoning please.

kittensoft1984 wrote:

Yes. she didnt just drop them in the doors. We knocked and asked if they wanted one

I love the personal touch. Unwanted spammy crap, now with 100% more annoying interruption at the door. OOOoooh! Aaaah!

Lu Tze

Adam wrote: »

Lu Tze, good thinking. i'm short a car though. and some steel rope. and possibly a crane.

We could swap in Mary Harney for the car...

Mhmm...weetabix

Lu Tze wrote: »

We could swap in Mary Harney for the car...

We'll need an extra strong rope...and crane, possibly 3

tbh

Question: Did she ask the home owners did they want to receive the magazine before popping it into the letterbox?

Anytime i receive stuff like this, I consider it spam and bin it. None of them ever say they'll be collected.

Doesn't matter -they have the legal right to reclaim it within six months if it's unsolicited. Sucks, but true.

Adam

Lu Tze wrote: »

We could swap in Mary Harney for the car...

i'm thinking i should leave a note while i weigh OUR options. that's right, you're all in on it.
but just in case they call. i won't be answering.

Adam

tbh wrote: »

Doesn't matter -they have the legal right to reclaim it within six months if it's unsolicited. Sucks, but true.

what???

kittensoft1984

Ya just cant win can you......

I really hope that none of you feels the need to do something like this in the future.....

And also how hard is it to stick it outside when your going out to work/college or whatever in the morning??

Adam

kittensoft1984 wrote: »

Ya just cant win can you......

I really hope that none of you feels the need to do something like this in the future.....

And also how hard is it to stick it outside when your going out to work/college or whatever in the morning??

work/college?? i'm on the dole love.

tbh

Adam wrote: »

what???

yeah, basically it's to stop you from keeping the stereo that was delivered to your house by accident, but it works here as well. The sender has six months to reclaim the goods, otherwise you get to keep it. However, you cannot refuse to return the goods. As soon as I see these catalogues on my floor, I put them outside the front door straight away, and just leave them there.

http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/1980/en/act/pub/0016/sec0047.html

Unsolicited goods.

47.—(1) Where—


( a ) unsolicited goods are sent to a person with a view to his acquiring them and are received by him, and


( b ) the recipient has neither agreed to acquire nor agreed to return them,


and either—


(i) during the period of six months following the date of receipt of the goods the sender did not take possession of them and the recipient did not unreasonably refuse to permit the sender to do so



(2) The notice referred to in subsection (1) shall be in writing and shall state—


( a ) the recipient's name and address and the address at which the sender may take possession of the goods (if not the same) and


( b ) that the goods are unsolicited.


(3) A person who, not having reasonable cause to believe there is a right to payment, in the course of any business, makes a demand for payment, or asserts a present or prospective right to payment for what he knows are unsolicited goods sent to another person with a view to his acquiring them, shall be guilty of an offence.


(4) A person who, not having reasonable cause to believe there is a right to payment in the course of any business and with a view to obtaining any payment for what he knows or ought to know are unsolicited goods—


( a ) threatens to bring any legal proceedings,


( b ) places or causes to be placed the name of any person on a list of defaulters or debtors or threatens to do so, or


( c ) invokes or causes to be invoked any other collection procedure or threatens to do so,


shall be guilty of an offence.


(5) In this section—


"acquire" includes hire,


"send" includes deliver,


"sender" includes any person on whose behalf or with whose consent the goods are sent and any other person claiming through or under the sender or any such person,

"unsolicited" means, in relation to goods sent to any person, that they are sent without any prior request by him or on his behalf.

shaner

tbh wrote: »

Doesn't matter -they have the legal right to reclaim it within six months if it's unsolicited. Sucks, but true.

In which case they can reclaim it from wherever the contents of the green bin go...

I remember about 5 years ago a woman called to the door at dinner time, kept ringing the door bell until someone answered. Bad choice. My old man (who was at the time very p*ssed off over work) answers, tells her she didn't have permission to put anything else onto our property and that she was trespassing. The snidey b*tch went off and wrote a three page letter to my dad calling him all sorts of names. Needless to say she didn't get her catalogue back.

All catalogues received into the parents house now become "recyclables" immediately.

tbh

here, just to clarify, I'm not saying that people who don't return the catalogues should burn in hell or anything, but the law is on their side - in theory anyway. Doubt you'd get any guards or solicitors keep to make a point But realistically, how hard is it to stick a catalogue back outside the door? They are only trying to make an honest living. Karma can be a bitch, remember!

TheZohanS

Adam wrote: »

work/college?? i'm on the dole love.

Now that's one thing that really bugs me.

When you have decent hardworking people trying to make a few bob by selling the likes of Kleeneze or whatever and the boys in the back of the class just snigger, laugh and make fun of them, too fecking lazy to do it themselves.

It's easy to ridicule, but I have a hell of a lot more respect for people that give it a go.

Why don't you contact the number on the brochure and see if you can sell their stuff?

tbh

Adam wrote: »

work/college?? i'm on the dole love.

So, we are supposed to side with you, a lazy shirker, as opposed to a hardworking woman who would rather trudge around housing estates all day dealing with crap from assholes, because her dignity won't allow her not to work?



edit: pisstake post on a pisstake subject, if I was being serious, I would have phrased it like TheZohan.

kittensoft1984

tbh wrote: »

here, just to clarify, I'm not saying that people who don't return the catalogues should burn in hell or anything, but the law is on their side - in theory anyway. Doubt you'd get any guards or solicitors keep to make a point But realistically, how hard is it to stick a catalogue back outside the door? They are only trying to make an honest living. Karma can be a bitch, remember!

TheZohan wrote: »

Now that's one thing that really bugs me.

When you have decent hardworking people trying to make a few bob by selling the likes of Kleeneze or whatever and the boys in the back of the class just snigger, laugh and make fun of them, too fecking lazy to do it themselves.

It's easy to ridicule, but I have a hell of a lot more respect for people that give it a go.

Why don't you contact the number on the brochure and see if you can sell their stuff?

Thank you - that was my point!

Karoma

tbh wrote: »

here, just to clarify, I'm not saying that people who don't return the catalogues should burn in hell or anything, but the law is on their side - in theory anyway. Doubt you'd get any guards or solicitors keep to make a point But realistically, how hard is it to stick a catalogue back outside the door? They are only trying to make an honest living. Karma can be a bitch, remember!

What happens if the catalogue you left outside gets lost/stolen*?



kittensoft1984, et al.: Did yore ma declare income to the tax man?




* Catalogues: Serious money.

shaner

tbh wrote: »

here, just to clarify, I'm not saying that people who don't return the catalogues should burn in hell or anything, but the law is on their side - in theory anyway. Doubt you'd get any guards or solicitors keep to make a point But realistically, how hard is it to stick a catalogue back outside the door? They are only trying to make an honest living. Karma can be a bitch, remember!

yeah, true... gotta watch my karma...

my point was more that while it's annoying like spam it becomes twice as annoying when they send either more spam or "physically" spam you by getting in your face about some catalogue you didn't want in the first place.

it would be like a 419er emailing "can i have my email back please" or spider or whatever...

ShooterSF

tbh wrote: »

here, just to clarify, I'm not saying that people who don't return the catalogues should burn in hell or anything, but the law is on their side - in theory anyway. Doubt you'd get any guards or solicitors keep to make a point But realistically, how hard is it to stick a catalogue back outside the door? They are only trying to make an honest living. Karma can be a bitch, remember!

So wait does this mean legally I need to file every flyer or leaflet that comes in the door because the company that owns them could come back in 5 months to claim them back? If I couldn't return them could they sue me?

tbh

I suppose in theory it does, although it's doubtful it would ever happen in practise. Of course, you can do what I do and stick a big "No unsolicited mail please" sticker on your letterbox, then when they knock, you can point at the sticker and shut the door in their face.

if that's your bag

inforfun

Hang it from the window with a rope.
Make sure it is just high enough for them not being able to reach it.
Film it.

I am bored.

tbh

Karoma wrote: »

What happens if the catalogue you left outside gets lost/stolen*?



kittensoft1984, et al.: Did yore ma declare income to the tax man?




* Catalogues: Serious money.

I imagine they'd have to prove you were in possession of it and...wait! I see where you are going with this!

Adam

in light of recent revelations (read:tbh's brains), i am forced to resign myself to nothing more productive than scratching myself all day while i sponge off the government. so the second and final phase of operation:i-was-bored

Exhibit B

tbh

shaner wrote: »

yeah, true... gotta watch my karma...

my point was more that while it's annoying like spam it becomes twice as annoying when they send either more spam or "physically" spam you by getting in your face about some catalogue you didn't want in the first place.

it would be like a 419er emailing "can i have my email back please" or spider or whatever...

I take your point, I really do, but it's not quite the same. It doesn't cost a 419er any money or much effort to send out a load of spam, whereas the kleeneze distributors pay for them and have to walk around handing them out - and why? so they can make a little extra money to feed their kids. That's a moral argument, by the way, not a legal one. I might not buy anything off them, but I just don't think it's classy to go out of my way to make things more difficult for them.

RaverRo808

Karoma wrote: »

You're either make a big (ignorant) assumption, or ...a big ignorant assumption.
You're either basing this theory on extremely limited sample data, or just making an ass-umption that comes across as obnoxious as saying "Only the poor go door to door". Explain your reasoning please.



I love the personal touch. Unwanted spammy crap, now with 100% more annoying interruption at the door. OOOoooh! Aaaah!

Yeah here's my reasoning,what are you sh*ting about,some person has the sh*t job of putting catalogs through the doors of mean smarta*ses like yourself,they obviously areant millionaires and areant people that are intensionally out to annoy you,so just open the door and hand back the magazine you geek!

ShooterSF

tbh wrote: »

I suppose in theory it does, although it's doubtful it would ever happen in practise. Of course, you can do what I do and stick a big "No unsolicited mail please" sticker on your letterbox, then when they knock, you can point at the sticker and shut the door in their face.

if that's your bag

I realise It's damn unlikely but still a ridiculous law. Also I doubt the "No unsolicited mail" sticker would work as a defense. After all as you said the law was created to protect a company from delivering say a stereo to the wrong address. I doubt you'd get away with "Tough I didn't ask for it, it's unsolicited mail so I threw it out".
I'm not saying any of this is likely it's just a rather anti-privacy law to have in effect.

The Mad Hatter

Adam wrote: »

in light of recent revelations (read:tbh's brains), i am forced to resign myself to nothing more productive than scratching myself all day while i sponge off the government. so the second and final phase of operation:i-was-bored

Exhibit B

You've got really good handwriting...well, really legible, anyhow...

ShooterSF

RaverRo808 wrote: »

Yeah here's my reasoning,what are you sh*ting about,some person has the sh*t job of putting catalogs through the doors of mean smarta*ses like yourself,they obviously areant millionaires and areant people that are intensionally out to annoy you,so just open the door and hand back the magazine you geek!

I'd draw the line at dropping it in without permission. Call to the door, be civil, ask if I'd like to look through it = fair enough. Otherwise whats to stop a 100 of these businesses to start up with me constantly leaving bundles of catalogues back outside?