Should I leave her?

LegacyUser

Where do I start?

I’ve been with my girlfriend four years, living together for two. We do love each other, I’m sure of that.

The problem is that She’s EXTREMELY emotional. Quite often She’ll throw a tantrum whereby She says that She doesn’t think I’m romantic enough/I don’t show her enough attention. She’ll spend the whole night crying and sobbing and I’ve felt like I was looking after my young daughter trying to console her. On a few occasions She’s actually slapped her head (both hands at the same time) in anger and thrown an object at me e.g. a book/sidelamp.

After one of these tantrums She’d always say that She really does Love me and we’d promise to move on etc. I knew that She was an emotional person the day I met her. I also know that ALL girls can be emotional (certainly more emotional than me anyway).

Aren’t all girls prone to this type of behaviour? I just find the whole thing very unsettling. We often talk about the future (marriage/children/house etc) but I half think that she’ll go nuts the day before the wedding of just get more and more unstable as time goes on.

Maybe my question is:

How emotional is too emotional?

MagicMarker

Unregistered wrote: »

How emotional is too emotional?

You're experiencing it right now.

Sounds like a child to me, I don't think I could hang in there tbh.

How old is she?

LolaLuv

Unregistered wrote: »

Aren’t all girls prone to this type of behaviour?

No. Not more than other humans, at least. She sounds like a bit of a headcase. Get the hell out.

LegacyUser

Aren’t all girls prone to this type of behaviour?

No, but sadly these are the ones that give the rest of us women a bad name.

I would not put up with these histrionics, call her bluff and tell her to grow up or show her the door.

JaneyMc

A few questions maybe you could answer to clarify a bit more.


Was she always this emotional or is it something that developed over time?
Are her outbursts regular?
Could it be serious pmt?
What kind of contraception she is using?
Is she unhappy with her life in general?
Have you noticed anything else weird or different since the begininng of these out bursts that could indicate a more serious problem?

I have reread your post op, and that is definitly not normal 'overly emotional behaviour' that some women are prone to every now and again.

LolaLuv

JaneyMc wrote: »

A few questions maybe you could answer to clarify a bit more.


Was she always this emotional or is it something that developed over time?
Are her outbursts regular?
Could it be serious pmt?
What kind of contraception she is using?
Is she unhappy with her life in general?
Have you noticed anything else weird or different since the begininng of these out bursts that could indicate a more serious problem?

With the exception of the last one (maybe she has a tumor or something) how could any of these questions justify her throwing shit at the man she loves and supposedly wants to marry? That behavior is simply unacceptable, even if she has terrible PMS, is on heavy hormonal birth control, is miserable with her life, it's other baggage from the relationship getting to her, AND it only happens sometimes.

I think we need to not use the woman card on this one. Surely women are capable of controlling themselves just as much as men are.

Just read your edit. Seems we agree!

Das Kitty

No OP, all girls are not prone to violent temper tantrums.

seesh!

shellyboo

PillyPen wrote: »

With the exception of the last one (maybe she has a tumor or something) how could any of these questions justify her throwing shit at the man she loves and supposedly wants to marry? That behavior is simply unacceptable, even if she has terrible PMS, is on heavy hormonal birth control, is miserable with her life, it's other baggage from the relationship getting to her, AND it only happens sometimes.

I think we need to not use the woman card on this one. Surely women are capable of controlling themselves just as much as men are.

Just read your edit. Seems we agree!

I don't think it's the woman card, but Janey could be onto something re: the contraception. Hormonal contraception can do crazy things to women, including turning them into the hell b*tch from hell on occasion.

Of course, it's totally unacceptable... but perhaps there's an easy solution, is what I'm saying.

LolaLuv

shellyboo wrote: »

I don't think it's the woman card, but Janey could be onto something re: the contraception. Hormonal contraception can do crazy things to women, including turning them into the hell b*tch from hell on occasion.

Of course, it's totally unacceptable... but perhaps there's an easy solution, is what I'm saying.

I hope so, for the OP's sake. I turn into the psycho bitch from hell myself when I'm off birth control and have PMS, but even then I don't throw things at people. It seems like a step beyond, imo.

partyguinness

Sounds completely self centered and immature. The impression is she expects you to lavish her with attention...it all attention seeking like a toddler..Very insecure and she needs to grow up and cop onto herself.

OP- Does she have self-confidence issues? Her relationship with her parents would be very interesting I bet..

TBH she doesnt sound capable of being in a serious relationship...it all me me me.

I find it amusing to see that the contraceptive pill might be a reason..if a man suggested that he would be accused of being very patronising..lol

shellyboo

PillyPen wrote: »

I hope so, for the OP's sake. I turn into the psycho bitch from hell myself when I'm off birth control and have PMS, but even then I don't throw things at people. It seems like a step beyond, imo.

I wouldn't believe it myself if it hadn't happened to me, either. Crazy rages at the drop of a hat - I was never violent, but totally volatile and definitely WANTED to throw things on occasion. Not attractive.

partyguinness wrote: »

I find it amusing to see that the contraceptive pill might be a reason..if a man suggested that he would be accused of being very patronising..lol

Lol Yeah, most likely he would have! But the reality is that some contraceptives just don't suit some women at all. It's just one possibilty of course, she could just be mentally unstable :pac:

LegacyUser

Thanks guy's for all your responses so far.

To answer the questions:

She's 25 year old
She's an only child and her mother is a Single Mother (one night stand).
Her standard excuse is that She had a tough upbringing (Mother was very domineering) and She feels that She should now have the 'perfect' boyfriend as She's been through a lot (for a 25 year old)

It's just that, when She's not flipping her lid, She's actually really warm and caring. Infact, She's the best Girlfriend I've ever had and I've honestly never met anyone else that's as nice. All my friends/family think She's perfect, one in a million etc.

I just don't know what to do...

John Mason

[QUOTE=Unregistered;58858979

I’ve been with my girlfriend four years, living together for two. We do love . I also know that ALL girls can be emotional (certainly more emotional than me anyway).

[/QUOTE]


really, and you know ALL girls in the world ?

my friend was going out with a girl exactly like that, she thought everything should be like the movies - all romantic and shi.te. romantic meals and flowers, picncies in the park -EVERYDAY

he ended up dumping for wrecking his head.

You need to stop your gf from watching sex and city and all over riddiculous rom com's

force her to watch some depressing soap on TV and get to her to understand the difference between real life and hollywood version of it

jessbeth

Such emotional outbursts are usually signs of an underlying issue that is not being addressed. I would definitely say that a little counselling might help. Hormones can also cause huge emotional disturbances in women. Some women have been known to go absolutely nuts when they have PMS. In any case sit down with her and assure that you love her but that you also need to work out the cause of the emotional breakdowns. If you love her there's no need to leave her unless she is really unwilling to get some help with her issues.

Mr. Incognito

Is this your younger daughter or your girlfriend?

I'm finding it hard to tell them apart.

partyguinness

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

really, and you know ALL girls in the world ?

my friend was going out with a girl exactly like that, she thought everything should be like the movies - all romantic and shi.te. romantic meals and flowers, picncies in the park -EVERYDAY

he ended up dumping for wrecking his head.

You need to stop your gf from watching sex and city and all over riddiculous rom com's

force her to watch some depressing soap on TV and get to her to understand the difference between real life and hollywood version of it

:):):):):):)

Thats it and keep her away from those girlie magazines filling her head full of crap...about the "perfect" boyfriend.

cantdecide

Unregistered wrote: »

....She’s actually slapped her head (both hands at the same time)...

This to me was the most disturbing part. Very worrying, IMO.

I think you need to confront her about this at a time when she is most stable, not in the middle of a blazing row. If you love her and would like to stay with her, you should ask her to consider the reasons why she might be so emotional, whether listed above or not.

jessbeth

The head slapping is actually more common than you think.

People are known to do it when they don't know how to release emotion, tension and anxiety that builds up inside.

It really sounds like the girl has some underlying emotional issues. I would definitely recommend a few counselling sessions.

Also suggest to her if she starts with the headbanging to go get a bunch of ice out of the freezer and squeeze it as hard as she can.

LegacyUser

jessbeth wrote: »

The head slapping is actually more common than you think.

People are known to do it when they don't know how to release emotion, tension and anxiety that builds up inside.

It really sounds like the girl has some underlying emotional issues. I would definitely recommend a few counselling sessions.

Also suggest to her if she starts with the headbanging to go get a bunch of ice out of the freezer and squeeze it as hard as she can.

Jessbeth, I agree with your first sentence and think the rest is good advice. I am female, consider myself overall quite well-balanced, but I was in a relationship where I slapped myself on the face during a fight. It exactly as you say, as if to make everything stop. I wouldn't consider that anything was 'going into a tantrum', but there were times that I would cry and couldn't stop. Additionally my boyfriend at the time was abusive. He was rarely physically abusive, but he was very mentally abusive, and I don't think he realised he was. I would prefer to slap me in the face than him slap me in the face (the first physical thing he did to me was slap me in the face).

I think he just thought I was crazy (at times), but I have never been like that before (or since) with other boyfriends (including ones I lived with).

OP how to you treat the girl when you are having fights? Do you listen to her? Do you try to understand what she's saying at the start or do you immediately write off what she's going to say as you 'know' (or presume) it's going to end in a tantrum?

Anyway I just think that it's not as simple as saying the gf in this case is a 'headcase' or whatever.

Although the advice from the general replies could be right - that you two just don't fit together as it obviously seems that something (possibly the relationship, possibly something outside the relationship) is deeply affecting her.

I agree that counselling could help. But you need to suggest that at the right time - not during her tantrums.

Good luck OP, I hope things work out well for the both of you.

LadyE

With the head slapping, I have a 4 year old, he does the same thing. If he doesnt get his own way he'll bit himself/scratch himself. Its like holding your breath til your blue. Complete attention seeking, and totally unacceptable and disturbing for a grown women to do this, or wants sympathy when she knows she is being an eejit with her tantrums.

Have you talked to her about it?

partyguinness

This girl is mental.

I had an ex who threw tantrums all the time..it was her way of getting my attention and she somehow saw my reaction as validating my feelings for her. I was just with her for the sex.

She saw tantrums and fights as normal and healthy because her mother acted the same way with her father..

Man the relief when I broke up with her..

vorbis

Like partyguinness, these girls for some reason are always good in bed. In terms of a mature adult relationship, its a waste of time. Your gf doesn't have adult coping mechanisms. My ex was very similar, only able to deal with issues in a child like manner.

MissHoneyBun

I find it incredible the amount of people on here who are so willing to brand someone a nutcase and mental (amongst a number of other things)based on such limited information. Resorting to such name-calling whilst simultaneously labelling someone else as immature is farcical. I also fail to see how such rudeness is conducive to helping the OP, who has clearly mentioned that he still loves his girlfriend.

OP, I think the most constructive thing for you do is to sit down and have an adult conversation (a genuine heart to heart) with your girlfriend, rather than relying on the whimsical replies of strangers who have absolutely no idea regarding the circumstances or context from which these issues are stemming.

Also OP why are you looking to compare your girlfriend to other women? Would like for her to base her judgements on you on the actions of other men? I think that most adults are usually aware that no two people are ever the same, never mind an entire gender. Of course there are women who are considerably more placid than your girlfriend but by the same token there are also women ten times more difficult. What does this matter? We are all different, therefore it is futile to begin large scale gender based comparisons.

You ask the question "how emotional is too emotional?". Well how long is a piece of string? Again, OP everybody is different. One man's meat is another man's poison so please don't rely on other people who know nothing about you to determine the outcome of your personal problems.

Also you've told us that your girlfriend has mentioned that you pay her little attention and are not romantic towards her. For all we know, this could be entirely true. For example have you actually considered what she has tried to communicate to you before looking to the internet and strangers for solutions? There are always two sides to a story so unless you only want to hear specific answers, you are best advised to speak to a professional or even somebody who knows both you and your girlfriend and the context of this situation.

Please don't base your life choices on the random opinions of online strangers who have nothing but a few lines on which to pass judgement.

Good luck.

CDfm

OP - forget about all the hormonal,PMT ,contraception and other excuses. Normal people just dont behave this way.

I am always amazed at the list of excuses that some posters can come up with to justify or excuse such behaviour.:mad:

I would start buying plastic cutlery and paper plates if I were you.

Pub07

MissHoneyBun wrote: »

Please don't base your life choices on the random opinions of online strangers who have nothing but a few lines on which to pass judgement.

I take it that applies to your own post too?

When someone is throwing crap at you it's time to give them the heave-ho. If you had a boyfriend who threw sidelamps at you would you try to rationalise it and try and figure out is it your fault that he nearly took your head off with it or would you do the sensible thing and leave the nutjob?

CDfm

MissHoneyBun wrote: »

I find it incredible the amount of people on here who are so willing to brand someone a nutcase and mental (amongst a number of other things)based on such limited information. Resorting to such name-calling whilst simultaneously labelling someone else as immature is farcical. I also fail to see how such rudeness is conducive to helping the OP, who has clearly mentioned that he still loves his girlfriend.

OP, I think the most constructive thing for you do is to sit down and have an adult conversation (a genuine heart to heart) with your girlfriend, rather than relying on the whimsical replies of strangers who have absolutely no idea regarding the circumstances or context from which these issues are stemming.

Also OP why are you looking to compare your girlfriend to other women? Would like for her to base her judgements on you on the actions of other men? I think that most adults are usually aware that no two people are ever the same, never mind an entire gender. Of course there are women who are considerably more placid than your girlfriend but by the same token there are also women ten times more difficult. What does this matter? We are all different, therefore it is futile to begin large scale gender based comparison

Cmon - this is Domestic Abuse and there is a helpline www.amen.ie for victimes of abuse where the perpetrator is va woman.

dresden8

CDfm wrote: »

Cmon - this is Domestic Abuse and there is a helpline www.amen.ie for victimes of abuse where the perpetrator is va woman.

Maybe she only hits him when he wrecks her head and it's his fault. Somehow.

Stheno

Pub07 wrote: »

When someone is throwing crap at you it's time to give them the heave-ho.

+1, having books or sidelamps thrown at you is not funny.

dresden8 wrote: »

Maybe she only hits him when he wrecks her head and it's his fault. Somehow.

Jeez that's as bad as "he/she only hits me when he/she is drunk"

There is no excuse for that sort of behaviour, it sounds like it has gone on for some time as well.

OP, you need to talk to your girlfriend about her behaviour, her expectations of you and your relationship, and what is acceptable behaviour for you. If she's gotten away with throwing lamps and books at you, then over time, that behaviour (imo) will become less "harmful" in her eyes/thoughts and will potentially escalate.

Best wishes.

vorbis

MissHoneyBun, you don't really have adult conversations with people who act like this. The girl is handling herself like a child. This means that on the one hand she can be incredible affectionate and good natured (like a child) and on the other hand throw tantrums when things don't go her way. The killer here is that the OP is getting sucked in by the good times and thus finds it very hard to leave her.

Your typical adult doesn't vacillate as often between such extremes. So while the OP might never have been with a girl who showed him so much love, he also hasn't been with a girl who acts so childishly when annoyed. Ultimately it won't work out. She will end up wrecking your head.

dresden8

nouggatti wrote: »

Jeez that's as bad as "he/she only hits me when he/she is drunk"

Eh, that was the point.

Stheno

dresden8 wrote: »

Eh, that was the point.

Sorry, slow brain day, I misinterpreteted what you said

CDfm

nouggatti wrote: »

Sorry, slow brain day, I misinterpreteted what you said

Was it you or MissHoneyBun came up with the Sit down with Psycho idea.:mad:

in2dblue

Hi OP,
Sorry but I think you should leave her
If you keep on letting her carry on with this behaviour she will think it is acceptable and therefore think that nothing is wrong with her and not seek the help she needs
You would be doing yourself and her a big favour.

Stheno

CDfm wrote: »

Was it you or MissHoneyBun came up with the Sit down with Psycho idea.:mad:

Neither, I misinterpreted the post I quoted, and thought the poster was taking the piss.

In any case, the OP here imo really needs to talk to his partner at the very least, or he may well risk an injury to himself

CDfm

nouggatti wrote: »

Neither, I misinterpreted the post I quoted, and thought the poster was taking the piss.

In any case, the OP here imo really needs to talk to his partner at the very least, or he may well risk an injury to himself

No harm done - just was reiterating my point so OP would see how crazy the behaviour he is living with is.

CDfm

in2dblue wrote: »

Hi OP,
Sorry but I think you should leave her
If you keep on letting her carry on with this behaviour she will think it is acceptable and therefore think that nothing is wrong with her and not seek the help she needs
You would be doing yourself and her a big favour.

Out of interest where can OP's g/f get this help she needs. Does anyone out there actually treat violent women to change their behaviour?

Stheno

CDfm wrote: »

Out of interest where can OP's g/f get this help she needs. Does anyone out there actually treat violent women to change their behaviour?

A decent counsellor should be able to identify the issues the girl has and refer her on for any specialist help she needs?

CDfm

nouggatti wrote: »

A decent counsellor should be able to identify the issues the girl has and refer her on for any specialist help she needs?

A female friend got thumped by her 35 yo sister some time ago. Black eye and torn clothes. They contacted Womens Aid who could not tell them of councelling for this in Ireland. I know this is off topic but I dont think OP should hold out hope for councelling to help her problem.

who007

OP - she is 25 - are you much older? (you mention a young child)
If so she has a loot of growing up to do just to get to where you are! Doesn't sound good. If you have a child you've had to grow up quite a bit, if she's that immature at 25 then there's a BIG maturity difference between ye and I think in your heart you know what you have to do regardless of how painful you think it will be for her.

jessbeth

So the girlfriend is having emotional issues and hitting herself and he should automatically leave her?
Why not sit down and talk with the girl and find out what the real issue is? What about helping the girl find a good counsellor? The guy said he loves her. She has emotional outbursts and this is not a sign of a childish and immature person necessarily. This is a sign of a person who has developed incredibly bad coping skills. Maybe she never had anyone in her life who showed her love and how to cope properly. She is still a worth while human being. You can't write somebody off because they have probably suffered emotional abuse in the past. With a bit of help she would probably be fine. I find it very shallow to say, oh yeah, she has problems, ditch the girl. Is that what society has become, leave the sick and the hurt people behind just because they are not perfect.

LegacyUser

She feels that She should now have the 'perfect' boyfriend as She's been through a lot

You have the crux of the problem right there.

Its to do with her belief system, which at present is faulty. She feels she had a hard upbringing (bad) and that now "life" should balance this out by delivering her this mythical creature "the prefect boyfriend" (good)

Of course its childish, we can all see that, but she can't. She's made what she believes is a bargain with the universe (give me the perfect boyfriend I earned and I can write off the pain of my earlier life) This gives her a feeling of balance and control.

Of course the perfect boyfriend only exists in her mind, but when he (you) fails to live up to the mental template she has created she loses control and becomes unhinged with rage. After all the bargain she made with the universe has been broken and THATS NOT FAIR !!!

She would laugh herself if you showed her this, but also feel very sad and broken inside.

Also history repeats itself and see how the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. She describes her Mother as Domineering, the mother may well have felt out of control (parenting alone not being easy) and similarly outraged when the universe defied her.

Who would these things have been taken out upon, the closest one, the daughter, just like the daughter herself is now taking the rage out on you!!!

CDfm

jessbeth wrote: »

So the girlfriend is having emotional issues and hitting herself and he should automatically leave her?
Why not sit down and talk with the girl and find out what the real issue is? What about helping the girl find a good counsellor? The guy said he loves her. She has emotional outbursts and this is not a sign of a childish and immature person necessarily. This is a sign of a person who has developed incredibly bad coping skills. Maybe she never had anyone in her life who showed her love and how to cope properly. She is still a worth while human being. You can't write somebody off because they have probably suffered emotional abuse in the past. With a bit of help she would probably be fine. I find it very shallow to say, oh yeah, she has problems, ditch the girl. Is that what society has become, leave the sick and the hurt people behind just because they are not perfect.

Where is it written that her problems are his responsibility and its already been established that she gets violent. What if next time instead of a plate or a lamp its a knife?

He is not responsible for her emotional turmoil or her lack of coping skills. These are negatives and are every reason for him to leave her together with her violent outbursts. If it was "she" getting abuse I wonder would you ask "her" to tolerate it.

Can you recommend a course our programm to deal with violent femmes?

jessbeth

Where in my post did I say it was his responsibility??

If you love somebody would you then not at least try to help them?

He didn't say it was an casual fling that he met, this is a women that the guy claims to love.

Any good counsellor would deal with issues regarding violence.

I'm also not claiming that violence is good but I'm just suggesting an alternative to leaving her.

Pub07

jessbeth wrote: »

Where in my post did I say it was his responsibility??

If you love somebody would you then not at least try to help them?

He didn't say it was an casual fling that he met, this is a women that the guy claims to love.

Any good counsellor would deal with issues regarding violence.

I'm also not claiming that violence is good but I'm just suggesting an alternative to leaving her.

So if one of your friends said her boyfriend was beating her would you advise her to stay with him and try and sort it out?

Dudess

Unregistered wrote: »

The problem is that She’s EXTREMELY emotional. Quite often She’ll throw a tantrum whereby She says that She doesn’t think I’m romantic enough/I don’t show her enough attention. She’ll spend the whole night crying and sobbing and I’ve felt like I was looking after my young daughter trying to console her. On a few occasions She’s actually slapped her head (both hands at the same time) in anger and thrown an object at me e.g. a book/sidelamp.

Ok, she could be simply a needy, self-obsessed, immature victim type who has no coping skills whenever life gets tough, and cannot take responsibility for her own behaviour... or she could have psychological problems leading to the above. My money would be on the latter.
Of course I've no way of being sure, but going by what you've described OP, it doesn't look like it could be ruled out. Just upping and leaving her would be devastating. Of course you're not responsible for her but at the same time, you've been together four years and you love her, so you do have some duty of care.

I also know that ALL girls can be emotional (certainly more emotional than me anyway). Aren’t all girls prone to this type of behaviour?

No they're not. In general, yes, women are more emotional than men but there's a difference between being more emotional than men and being downright unstable.

We often talk about the future (marriage/children/house etc) but I half think that she’ll go nuts the day before the wedding of just get more and more unstable as time goes on.

Not beyond the realms of possibility by the looks of things.

Unregistered wrote: »

No, but sadly these are the ones that give the rest of us women a bad name.

Well anyone who'd apply the hysteria of a handful of women to all women is just an idiot.

I would not put up with these histrionics, call her bluff and tell her to grow up or show her the door.

I get the impression many of the contributors to this thread view the OP's girlfriend as one of those loud, hysterical, annoying ones. I think it's highly likely there's a lot more to it than that. She comes across to me as quite ill - with anxiety/depressive problems.

partyguinness wrote: »

I had an ex who threw tantrums all the time..it was her way of getting my attention and she somehow saw my reaction as validating my feelings for her. I was just with her for the sex.

Well girls with emotional problems certainly wouldn't be helping themselves by going out with guys who have that attitude. :mad:

I agree with others, the attitude of "oh she's a psycho, leave her to it" is most crass and disheartening. She could be very ill and that is out of her hands.
However, violent behaviour by her is very serious and people are giving her more leeway for that than they would for a man. You even seem a bit intimidated by her - e.g. the way you're referring to her as "She" and not "she".
She also has the power to seek help - there are some things which are in her hands.
OP, only a firm chat would benefit her. Being all softly sweet would only be indulging her. The problem is, it's likely she'll take a firm chat as an attack and there'll be more tears and tantrums. Counselling seems vital - again though, suggesting this to her might be taken as unfair criticism. But you've just got to take the bull by the horns and say it.

CDfm

Dudess wrote: »

I agree with others, the attitude of "oh she's a psycho, leave her to it" is most crass and disheartening. She could be very ill and that is out of her hands.


OP, only a firm chat would benefit her. Being all softly sweet would only be indulging her. The problem is, it's likely she'll take a firm chat as an attack and there'll be more tears and tantrums. Counselling seems vital - again though, suggesting this to her might be taken as unfair criticism. But you've just got to take the bull by the horns and say it.

I agree with some of what you say Dudess - but Domestic Violence is wrong and the OP needs to believe that himself too that its not acceptable no matter what her problems are- her actions cant be excused.

Thats why I imagine contacting www.amen.ie is important and that he needs help and support with this.

If he had responded in kind to her I would have posted that he was wrong too-but the OP is the victim here..

jessbeth

Pub07 wrote: »

So if one of your friends said her boyfriend was beating her would you advise her to stay with him and try and sort it out?

I certainly wouldn't but he didn't mention that he is been beaten up did he? I'm not condoning bad behaviour and violence at all and yes this girl has problems but I was only trying to suggest an alternative to leaving her. If it was a sister or a cousin who was behaving in this way I wouldn't just decide that they should not be helped and left alone for life.
Not for one minute am I condoning the behaviour and it is appalling. All I'm doing is trying to think maybe it would be human and kind to at least talk with her and get her some help.

Monkey61

Fair enough the girl's behaviour is OTT but maybe she is at the end of her tether. We have no idea how well or badly the OP might be treating her to drive her to this. There is a possibility that she is somewhat justified in her feelings.

Maybe he doesn't show her enough affection or attention. Who knows what she is thinking. Really OP if you love her you need to sit down and listen to what she wants and make damn sure that you are behaving properly in the relationship too. Be aware that you could be just as much out of line as she is, it really is impossible to tell from the original post.

I know, from being someone who is quite an emotional person, that the most frustrating thing in the world is dealing with somebody who doesn't outwardly show emotions or understand them - because that is akin to banging one's head off a brick wall. All of the girl's actions sound like they are borne out of frustration more than anything else and the first issue that needs to be addressed is what the OP might be doing to make her frustrated in the first place.

Maybe she does need counselling, or maybe she just needs a different boyfriend.

CDfm

jessbeth wrote: »

I certainly wouldn't but he didn't mention that he is been beaten up did he?

He said that she threw books and sidelamps at him-which itself is battery and she is harming herself. Thats just what he is telling us happened.

Whatever she is doing is not normal.

LegacyUser

Monkey61 wrote: »

Fair enough the girl's behaviour is OTT but maybe she is at the end of her tether. We have no idea how well or badly the OP might be treating her to drive her to this. There is a possibility that she is somewhat justified in her feelings.

Maybe he doesn't show her enough affection or attention. Who knows what she is thinking. Really OP if you love her you need to sit down and listen to what she wants and make damn sure that you are behaving properly in the relationship too. Be aware that you could be just as much out of line as she is, it really is impossible to tell from the original post.

I know, from being someone who is quite an emotional person, that the most frustrating thing in the world is dealing with somebody who doesn't outwardly show emotions or understand them - because that is akin to banging one's head off a brick wall. All of the girl's actions sound like they are borne out of frustration more than anything else and the first issue that needs to be addressed is what the OP might be doing to make her frustrated in the first place.

Maybe she does need counselling, or maybe she just needs a different boyfriend.

Ah, so when a woman is violent it's a man's fault for not pleasing her?

Monkey61

Unregistered wrote: »

Ah, so when a woman is violent it's a man's fault for not pleasing her?

Don't be silly. Perhaps when the particular woman throws a book because she is horrendously frustrated it could be directly related to something that particular man has done. We don't know enough about the situation to say one way or another. It is a possibility!