Is it okay to be big and feel sexy?

LegacyUser

hi All

i have a problem with my weight - now not that i see myself as huge or anything – Im a size 18 but I don’t feel it and I dress quite well (have been told)

I have big boobs that probably account for 2 stone! (yeah I know – torture) - just giving you this bit of info so that you can relate to the curviness of my body. I have a slim enough waist and this defines my curves even more!

Anyhow I feel great about my size but it’s the horrible comments I get from random guys that makes me wonder if I am living in a disillusioned frame of mind! I don’t know how many of you agree with me but when I say that I feel sexy, I mean it. I am not saying it for the sake of it. I do really feel sexy! I have no problem getting men but its keeping them that is the problem! I think they are using me for sex – or my body! Whichever you prefer!

Anyway I suppose why I am writing this is to know if it is okay to feel like this or if I should change my attitude and lose weight! I feel that because I feel so good about myself that I cant get enough willpower to stop eating chocolate! Anyway I am wondering if guys would go out with biggish girls with curves because they find them attractive! IS being big and thinking you are sexy allowed!

Sorry no self esteem when comes to this sort of issue! But I am bubbly and believe I am sexy – all comments appreciated!!

MadelineNYC

How tall are you? If you are fairly tall, a size 18 isn't terribly huge...But more importantly, are you healthy? What does your doctor say? I think the most important thing is to be strong and healthy and have good cardio-vascular condition. What about your blood pressure, cholesterol level etc? If these measurements are within a healthy range and you truly feel good about yourself, then I'd say "You go, girl!"

Are the men who make nasty comments drunk? There will always be that kind of guy who gets drunk and makes rude coments about women...Even if you were a size 8, they'd find something else to yap about..

Wagon

Once your not up your own hole, then your grand. Can't see the problem with being happy about yourself

jellie

youre perfectly entitled to feel how you wish about yourself and your own body & dont let anyone tell you your not.

if youre happy as you are then dont let comments get to you.

however do consider that you may not be healthy. without knowing your height i have no idea, but check if you have a healthy BMI..
eg. http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/

if youre not healthy you should think about what effect this will have on you. this should be more important than being attractive to random men.

edit.. also, theres plenty of men that do think bigger women are more attractive.

jim o doom

there is nothing at all wrong with how you feel! hell if you are happy as you are, then so what! just enjoy who you are & remember; there are plenty of men who prefer curvy women - so just ignore the douche bags & be yourself!

CodeMonkey

Anyway I am wondering if guys would go out with biggish girls with curves because they find them attractive!

Guys will go out with big/small/short/tall/curvy/flat girls they find attractive. Because you are plus size and don't fit into the normal definition of a slim beautiful woman then it's probably harder for you to find someone who finds you attractive.

If this limit your options of men and you are not happy then do something about it. If you are happy with your situation then do nothing and wait for prince charming to show up.

IS being big and thinking you are sexy allowed!

Yes it's allowed. The problem is you might not find as many people agreeing with you.

Otis Driftwood

Hi OP.Firstly I want to say,good for you!
Its incredibly refreshing to hear someone that isnt a size zero feel confident and sexy in their own skin.
The main thing is that you are happy with yourself.If you think losing a few pounds would make you happier then by all means go for it but if you are doing it for the sake of a few pricks that have made rude comments then I dunno.Speaking from personal experience alot of the girls I have dated have been more curvey than skinny-not that there is anything wrong with skinny (within reason)girls either.You sound like a very confident person so I wouldnt let a couple of assclowns adversely effect you.I will agree with Madeline on the health aspect of things though.

minidazzler

It is perfectly OK to be Big and feel sexy, in fact alot of men find bigger women very sexually appealing, myself included, as long as it is not to a point where it is unhealthy to be so big.

BTW Women who are bigger and sexy are usually described as BBW's, Stands for Big Beautiful Women.

There is however a fine line between Big and Sexy and Big and Unhealthy looking, so try and maintain your current figure, if only for your health.

KTRIC

OP don't worry about what the odd guy says to you. You'll find that most guys like girls that are happy with themselves and their bodies and have curves

Lollipops23

sexygirl wrote: »

I have big boobs that probably account for 2 stone! (yeah I know – torture) - just giving you this bit of info so that you can relate to the curviness of my body. I have a slim enough waist and this defines my curves even more!

good lord!have to tell you i have several mates who would KILL for that!(i know it's probably a pain for you,metaphoricall and physically!)
but seriously, as long as you're not 5' i think a size 18 is probably fine. if you're over 5'8" it's probably standard!its sounds like you've got killer curves,rather than just big. go for it;)

pwd

i think that shape (waist-to-hip ratio) is more important than size both for attractiveness and for health.

Drummerboy2

You sound delicious to me. What not post a pic of yourself

Wibbs

Drummerboy2 please read the charter and refrain from unhelpful posts

Dublin_Gunner

The way you've just stated you feel about yourself - I'm wondering why you're even bothered posting!! (unless of course you are suffering from low self esteem, in denial, and using this to get a nice boost for yourself;))

If you feel sexy, feel great, and are comfortable with who you are - f*ck those idiots comments!

You obviously have a great outlook on life, feel good in your own skin, and are enjoying yourself - so why bother even concerning yourself with what some twat down the pub says!!

If you feel sexy - you ARE sexy. End of.

sunnyside

I'm a size 10 and have never had weight issues but I have so many body insecurities more than one man has ended up annoyed with me over it so I think most men would prefer confident curvy OP over slim insecure me.

I have a friend who is a size 22 and like the OP she dresses really well. People tend to notice how well she looks all the time instead of noticing her size.

OP I can't see the point of loosing weight to impress men in general, maybe yes if there was a specific man you really liked and he prefered slim women but if you meet someone you get on great with it really shouldn't be an issue.

Das Kitty

sexygirl wrote: »

I have no problem getting men but its keeping them that is the problem! I think they are using me for sex – or my body! Whichever you prefer!

In my experience, this kind of thing is almost never related to either party's physical attributes.

Dublin_Gunner

sunnyside wrote: »

OP I can't see the point of loosing weight to impress men in general, maybe yes if there was a specific man you really liked and he prefered slim women but if you meet someone you get on great with it really shouldn't be an issue.

Even thats nonsense IMO. You are who you are, and if some guy can't accept that fact, he's not worth the effort to begin with.

No specific man deserves some girl to go slimming herself down, or dieting etc just to get his attention - as immediately that spring a wholly physical attraction which is never going to lead to anything worthwhile.

I've been with larger women, slim women, medium women, not great looking women, and stunning looking women. They are all great in their own right, and its their personalities that distinguish them - not their dress size.

tbh

of course it is! you go, girl!

LegacyUser

Too right it is! You should feel good about yourself, no matter what! It's a terrible indictment of society that you should even feel that you have to ask that question. I'm a 14-16 and I feel great about myself. I didn't always but I've come to really like the way I look. I'm healthy and active and curvy and boobular and I like it that way. I'm sure if I was a 10-12 I'd like myself just as much. It's not your size that matters, it's your mental attitude. Yours is an attitude that a lot more women (and men!) should have! Fair play!

nomorebadtown

Lollipops23 wrote: »

size 18 is probably fine. if you're over 5'8" it's probably standard!

lets not go nuts! no point lying to the OP.

OP if your are happy and confident and are physically capable of all the things you want to do then fair play to you. confidence is the key to sexyness;)

MagicMarker

Lollipops23 wrote: »

good lord!have to tell you i have several mates who would KILL for that!(i know it's probably a pain for you,metaphoricall and physically!)
but seriously, as long as you're not 5' i think a size 18 is probably fine. if you're over 5'8" it's probably standard!its sounds like you've got killer curves,rather than just big. go for it;)

Size 18... standard if you're over 5'8?

Riight...

OP, so long as you're happy with yourself then that's all that matters.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

nialo

BMI is an inaccurate measurement and i wouldnt put much faith in it. It doesnt take into consideration muscle weight over actually fat.

sunnyside

Unregistered wrote: »

Too right it is! You should feel good about yourself, no matter what! It's a terrible indictment of society that you should even feel that you have to ask that question. I'm a 14-16 and I feel great about myself. I didn't always but I've come to really like the way I look. I'm healthy and active and curvy and boobular and I like it that way. I'm sure if I was a 10-12 I'd like myself just as much. It's not your size that matters, it's your mental attitude. Yours is an attitude that a lot more women (and men!) should have! Fair play!

But this attitude could go to far by encouraging people who are overweight/obese to feel fantastic about themselves regardless, when what they really need to do is to take some steps to reduce their weight for health reasons.

As far as I know size 16 is the national average for women but that is probably bigger than we should be for health reasons.


Meant in general and not specific to the OP who I have previously replied to.

minidazzler

sunnyside wrote: »

But this attitude could go to far by encouraging people who are overweight/obese to feel fantastic about themselves regardless, when what they really need to do is to take some steps to reduce their weight for health reasons.

As far as I know size 16 is the national average for women but that is probably bigger than we should be for health reasons.


Meant in general and not specific to the OP who I have previously replied to.

Generally being overweight is not way to unhealthy, Obese is.

A size 18 while BMI would say that is overweight, it's not bad at all. and very unlikely to be unhealthy as long as the OP is above 5 feet tall.

OP, You are happy in your skin, you feel sexy, and given your description, you probably are(in my opinion), So I am happy for you.

Is it OK, to be big and still feel good about yourself, feel sexy, damn right it is!!!!

Lollipops23

MagicMarker wrote: »

Size 18... standard if you're over 5'8?

Riight...

OP, so long as you're happy with yourself then that's all that matters.

eh actually I know a fair few very tall women who would be 16-18 and just built big,not fat.

Nevyn

donegalfella wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

BMI does not take in to consideration those who are taller or broader then average or have a very high muscle mass.

A size 18 when you are in proportion can be very flattering and yes sexy.

Being sexy or sensual is a lot more about who you are and how you carry yourself and behave then being a certain size.

http://www.freedieting.com/body_shape.htm

cantdecide

I'm not a big fan of skinnier girls and I feel Size 18 is borerline. A lot depends on your height. At that size, it can suit some but not others. If you feel you are big yet sexy (and you'r not being big-headed), then you probably are sexy...

pwd

If you think you're sexy, you are sexy

If I wasn't in the office I'd put up pictures of ugly old people in bikinis and speedos to demonstrate how wrong this is.

Wibbs

pwd hardly a helpful post with regard to the OP.

evad_lhorg

you got a webcam?

you sound happy so who gives a toss what others think. Big boobs ftw!

Faith

nialo wrote: »

BMI is an inaccurate measurement and i wouldnt put much faith in it. It doesnt take into consideration muscle weight over actually fat.

Thaedydal wrote: »

BMI does not take in to consideration those who are taller or broader then average or have a very high muscle mass.

BMI is used by the medical community as a indicator of obesity. It is largely accurate for the vast majority of the population unless you're extremely muscular, or unusually tall or broad. While this is an aside to the main point of the thread, it would be detrimental for an overweight or obese person to disregard their BMI on the basis that it's 'inaccurate'. It's wonderful to be happy with how you look regardless of weight, but it's important to understand that your health may also be at risk.

To the OP, confidence in yourself is one of the sexiest traits a person can have. If you believe that you look great, you'll influence others to think the same. It's great that you're so happy with yourself, most people would kill to feel that way. Enjoy it!

Mr. Presentable

OP, how you feel about yourself is what should be important to you. As for a random male on the internet's perspective, at size 18 you'd need to be 6' 4" to look sexy, and I'm guessing from the fact you asked, that you're not tall.

DubLass

Oh to be 6'4" ..... actually oh to be 5'4"

Eric Cartman

its ok to feel good about yourself, but your really asking what other people think, depending on how tall you are size 18 is ok, not tryign to be unhelpful but unless your nearer to 6 foot than 5'8" in height it would be a little offputting, but theres nothing wrong with being curvy, i personally wouldnt touch anything under a size 8

ladyella

Too many people are obsessed with being super skinny these days. Its refreshing to see someone who has a good self image/worth thats not a size 4

As long as your not doing any harm to yourself and your confident about yourself - which you must be if you know your 'sexy' - well then fair play to you.

MIN2511

Some people might disagree with me, for you to start a thread here means that you are not happy deep down.
Yes you are a confident BBW but is that how you want to be forever?
We all say a man would love you for your personality and not for your size but we know thats not true, how many big celebs are idolised?
I am a size 14, i have big boobs(34H) and i am not happy with my size and i am doing something about it.

You are a size 18, if you are happy within yourself then ignore everything these men say but if their taunts bother you and makes you insecure and you want to lose weight then you should do something about it.

Weight is a delicate issue for a lot of people

Btw, it is okay to be big and sexy...

Húrin

sexygirl wrote: »

I have no problem getting men but its keeping them that is the problem!

If this is the case then I doubt that your problem has anything to do with your appearance. It is good that you feel great!

Maguined

"Sexy" boils down to two things, the first is how attracted people are to different physical attributes and there are people who like all different sorts, its just a personal preference not a scientific scale.

The second is pretty much how confidant you are with yourself, you seem to have this so don't let it go for any reason as there are bound to be plenty of men out there that like your looks.

I would generally find curvier woman more attractive than thin woman and lots of my friends would agree despite what you generally see on display in the media.

hot2def

Hey,

you'd have to be pretty damn short and size 18 for me to find you to big to be attractive.


I mean really short. like 4 foot 10

*edit*
you know what, I couldn't even commit to that....

Liam Byrne

OP (and others).....do you think it's OK for girls to be scrawny and feel sexy ?

Personally, there are roughly 3 areas:

1) slim -> curvy
2) thin -> big
3) TOO thin / scrawny -> TOO big / fat

....and even though none of those are absolutes, with everyone having personal preferences and it also depending on height, etc, the basic way I would see it is:

#3 is a health issue, so feeling sexy is the least of the worries
#2 on paper, judged by itself MIGHT put people off if they don't know you, but personality/confidence/attitude all add up to form part of the package
#1 is probably viewed as "ideal" (although you wouldn't know this from reading magazines with pictures of stick-insects) but again it depends on personality/confidence/attitude and they could be far from ideal

Some people wouldn't go out with short people, other's couldn't cope with a girlfriend taller than them, etc.

Bottom line is that as long as you're healthy and happy, be yourself!

abouttobebanned

I haven't read anything bar the opening post...but if you're happy...then rock on!! Sexy is all in the mind and it sounds like you have it in droves.

MagicMarker

Is it only ugly people who say sexy is all in the mind? Because it's really not. Anyone who says so is really quite delusional.

OP, fact of the matter is, some will find you hot, some will find you repulsive. The good part is this is the case no matter what size you are.

Talliesin

sexygirl wrote: »

the horrible comments I get from random guys

Do you often, yourself, make horrible comments to random people you don't know?

Do you know anyone with a modicum of intelligence, self-respect, or wit who makes horrible comments to random people?

If you are unsure about something then having one of the rent-an-unimaginative-insult brigade say something can be upsetting, but consider where they are coming from. Look at the degree of uniformity that is to be found in their behaviour. It is a hundred times more important to them that they match the expectations of their peers than anything else. The quicker they can reinforce their pack identity by finding a way to insult any given person passing by (and they will insult everyone passing by), the safer they are in their codependent compensation for the way they've got the rest of their wasted lives to endure. "Fat" and tired jokes everyone has heard before is the easiest way to do that.

Wibbs

MagicMarker wrote: »

OP, fact of the matter is, some will find you hot, some will find you repulsive. The good part is this is the case no matter what size you are.

OP, if after all replies you're still looking for an answer, you can pretty much sum up the best - can't be improved - answer for your question with this. Spot on

LegacyUser

sunnyside wrote: »

But this attitude could go to far by encouraging people who are overweight/obese to feel fantastic about themselves regardless, when what they really need to do is to take some steps to reduce their weight for health reasons. As far as I know size 16 is the national average for women but that is probably bigger than we should be for health reasons. Meant in general and not specific to the OP who I have previously replied to.

I'd disagree with this, there is absolutely no reason why someone can't be a size 18, feel really great in their skin and still acknowledge that it may be healthier for them to lose some weight. I'm 14-16 and have lots of confidence in myself but keep an active and healthy lifestyle to try and improve myself. People should be encouraged to feel fantastic about themselves regardless. And if they make a positive change in their live, that should only make them feel better...

Sugar Drunk

Op if your genuinely happy with your weight then why change? (obviously once your not at a size thats causing health risks for you).

Yes, there will be some men who are not attracted to bigger women but there are plenty that are. Im small and petite but trust me there are many men who are not attracted to that either.

No matter what size you are there will be some people that find it attractice and some who dont. What matters is how you feel about it. To me theres nothing better than someone who is totally at home, happy and confident in their own skin, its brilliant and its really attractive

I have met so many skinny stunning girls and thought 'my god im a minger beside them' only to learn that some of them are so self absorbed and paranoid about their looks its unreal. No matter what size someone is if they are paranoid, have no confidence in their looks and never stop waffling on about what wrong with them its such a turn off and takes away from any visual assets they have!

shellyboo

Unregistered wrote: »

I'd disagree with this, there is absolutely no reason why someone can't be a size 18, feel really great in their skin and still acknowledge that it may be healthier for them to lose some weight. I'm 14-16 and have lots of confidence in myself but keep an active and healthy lifestyle to try and improve myself. People should be encouraged to feel fantastic about themselves regardless. And if they make a positive change in their live, that should only make them feel better...

Spot on.

OP, I'm delighted that you feel sexy in your own skin, and I have my theories about why you're getting boys but not boyfriends... but that's not really the point! There's no reason why you should listen to ignorant idiots who feel the need to abuse you, you go on with yo bad self

justsomebloke

OP as far as I can tell the real reason for this thread is that you can't understand why you can't keep a boyfriend and as many have said size doesn't matter so maybe you have to start looking at other reasons why men aren't staying around. So for example this sext way that you are portraying yourself is actually just leading to just attracting the type of man who is more interested in a quick fling as oppose to anything more serious

Dudess

sexygirl wrote: »

Anyway I suppose why I am writing this is to know if it is okay to feel like this

Sorry, but you can't be that confident if you've to ask a bunch of strangers on the internet what it's "ok" to feel like... You feel how you feel - unless that's a desire to murder kids or anything else on those lines, then it would be a bit much to be expected to change and control your natural thoughts.

IS being big and thinking you are sexy allowed!

OP, come on. That's a silly and needy question. Do you really think anyone, other than a troll, would say "No! That's not allowed! This is an Orwellian society and all thoughts are controlled!"
As others have said, don't let nasty comments get to you - easier said than done, but getting upset is what they want. Just ignore them.
Do you honestly think a person who is truly confident and happy within themselves would make comments that belittle others? No they wouldn't. Because people harass, bully and put others down to make them feel better about themselves - they're generally angry and have issues. So feel sorry for them or barely acknowledge them for the pond-life they are.
Also, those guys might just be pissed - and alcohol can turn even wonderful people into assholes, so I wouldn't take it personally.

In terms of health though, being brutally honest with you, size 18 is considerably overweight on an average-height woman - not just a small one. Unless you're very tall, perhaps cut down on the chocolate and do more exercise - just for health reasons, not appearance ones. However, you say you've a small enough waist, which is very positive for your health. The area that needs to be monitored the most is a person's stomach - excess fat in that area is quite dangerous.
Some guys might be just using you for sex and then not wanting to be seen with a "big girl" so they don't take it any further (that's unfortunately a reality). You've got to develop your asshole radar and weed out those types of guys. Not all guys are like that. Some decent guys may not be attracted to bigger women - and that's their prerogative - they therefore won't have sex with those girls because it wouldn't be fair of them. Plenty of guys (as you can see on this thread) ARE attracted to bigger women.

minidazzler wrote: »

BTW Women who are bigger and sexy are usually described as BBW's, Stands for Big Beautiful Women.

The BBW movement celebrates ENORMOUS women - size 30 etc, it draws "feeder" men and men with "obese chick fetishes" while avoiding the fact that these women are killing themselves. I get appalled by the bullying of overweight people (women especially) - I've made that clear elsewhere, but I disagree with the celebration of something so unhealthy.
At size 18, the OP is not a BBW.

minidazzler wrote: »

Generally being overweight is not way to unhealthy, Obese is.

The thing is: medically obese does not just mean a mountain of blubber who can barely move... it applies to much smaller sizes than you'd think. Using the BMI index, 27.5 is the start of the obese scale - that's only about a size 14-16 for a woman of average height.

A size 18 while BMI would say that is overweight, it's not bad at all. and very unlikely to be unhealthy as long as the OP is above 5 feet tall.

Inaccurate information - if you're only just over 5 ft, a size 14-16 is unhealthy.

OP, if you feel happy with how you look, don't dare stop feeling that way.
If your weight is unhealthy though, lose some - for your own fitness and well-being, nothing else.
And be more fussy about the guys you date/sleep with. Be yourself - don't go out of your way to be flirty etc...

AngryBadger

Wagon wrote: »

Once your not up your own hole, then your grand. Can't see the problem with being happy about yourself

+1 actually.....dammit I felt like I could really get my teeth into this thread and you sum up all my wisdom in one sentence....I'll get you Wagon

j/k