I'm in the ****

Fratton Fred

In fact, i'm always in the ****, its really only the depth that varies.

So, I am going to have to get the old credit card out and send my good wife (No, not Yore Ma) some flowers. But what do I send?

Isn't there supposed to be a particular colour flower to send when you are sorry?

Advice please after hoursers

javaboy

The flowers vary depending on what you did. Come on tell us.

TwoShedsJackson

Lillies. Signifies the death of your relationship with her.

seamus

It depends on the level of ****.

If you're just sorry, you get her favourite flower.

If you're sorry, but you want to tell her you love her, you spend €100 getting as many red roses as you can.

If you really fvcked up, just give her the credit card and send her to Dundrum.

Dave!

Nothing says 'I love you' like a black rose

Fratton Fred

javaboy wrote: »

The flowers vary depending on what you did. Come on tell us.

I'm married, i don't have to do anything wrong to be in the ****

giddybootz

seamus wrote: »

If you really fvcked up, just give her the credit card and send her to Dundrum.

yeah and go with her to carry the bags!!!!

i think you are thinking of roses which go something like this....
red=love
yellow=sorrow
white=friendship

(or at least thats what i was led to believe!)

tba

get purple ones

ejmaztec

Fratton Fred wrote: »

In fact, i'm always in the ****, its really only the depth that varies.

So, I am going to have to get the old credit card out and send my good wife (No, not Yore Ma) some flowers. But what do I send?

Isn't there supposed to be a particular colour flower to send when you are sorry?

Advice please after hoursers

Just let her punch you in face a couple of times - never did me any harm, and a trip to the A&E probably works out cheaper. She will then feel sorry for you and you'll get extra pie (or soup through a straw).

x in the city

A season ticket..?:pac:


*gets coat

abi2007

**** the flowers get her a new hoover or something useful

BroomBurner

Don't giver her anything, you'll only raise her expectations.

Fratton Fred

ejmaztec wrote: »

Just let her punch you in face a couple of times - never did me any harm, and a trip to the A&E probably works out cheaper. She will then feel sorry for you and you'll get extra pie (or soup through a straw).

I was thinking of something less painful, although I would prefer that to letting her run wild in Dundrum with Mrs Mastercard

Fratton Fred

abi2007 wrote: »

**** the flowers get her a new hoover or something useful

"Sorry for taking you for granted love and treating you like a servant, here I got you a new hoover".

A&E here i come

gandhi123

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

That would be triffids...

abi2007

Fratton Fred wrote: »

"Sorry for taking you for granted love and treating you like a servant, here I got you a new hoover".

A&E here i come

Ah you sussed my plan..

Turd Ferguson

Punch her in the face. I guarantee you will never be in the **** again!

Thnx4theGum

Get her jewelry instead.

abi2007

abi2007 wrote: »

**** the flowers get her a new hoover or something useful

I realise this is AH but come on now!!

The point of flowers is that everytime we look at them.
Funny chemicals in our brain try to convince us that your not a bastard afterall.
So If I were you I'd be going for a big ass potted Orchid.
That is 12 weeks of brainwashing guarenteed.

Caoimhín

Send Snyper to butz sekx her.

That will learn her proper.

Fratton Fred

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

That would be triffids...

nice one, www.triffids.com?

Thnx4theGum wrote: »

Get her jewelry instead.

I've bought her two rings over the past 10 years, that's what got me in the mess I'm in today

Thnx4theGum

Fratton Fred wrote: »

"Sorry for taking you for granted love and treating you like a servant, here I got you a new hoover".

A&E here i come

Once, my mam kicked my da out of the house for a few days cause he gave her a deep fat fryer for her birthday.

00112984

Save youself the expense.

Get ot Hallmark, buy the biggest, soppiest card you can find- something with a sad looking teddy or an apologetic elephant on the front. Write something in it- the more insipid the better. Use words/phrases like "future", "nobody understands me as well as you" etc.

Then take the money you would have spent on the flowers and give it to her in exchange for your balls.

Turd Ferguson

Fratton Fred wrote: »

I've bought her two rings over the past 10 years, that's what got me in the mess I'm in today

You didnt get her a cock ring, did you?
Wimmenz dont like that

abi2007

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

You didnt get her a cock ring, did you?
Wimmenz dont like that

you sure about that..

ChewChew

Fratton Fred wrote: »

In fact, i'm always in the ****, its really only the depth that varies.

So, I am going to have to get the old credit card out and send my good wife (No, not Yore Ma) some flowers. But what do I send?

Isn't there supposed to be a particular colour flower to send when you are sorry?

Advice please after hoursers

Cala lillies. get her these. Just because oh and if you want séx tonight! :P

http://www.flowerscraze.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/image0031.jpg

lol.

Abi

Fratton Fred wrote: »

"Sorry for taking you for granted love and treating you like a servant, here I got you a new hoover".

A&E here i come

Tell me that housework is not the real reason for the row?

If it is, then fúck the flowers. She should be burnt at the stake.

Theres a lot worse you could do.

Whispered

Fratton Fred wrote: »

I'm married, i don't have to do anything wrong to be in the ****

:eek: Really?



*runs off to set wedding date*

Kold

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

Punch her in the face. I guarantee you will never be in the **** again!

Holy sh*t, hive mind. I think we should be helpgroup buddies...

Like seriously, my advice was gonna be punch her in the face.

Get her a wreath that says, "deepest sympathies"

Turd Ferguson

abi2007 wrote: »

you sure about that..

Hey, if there is 1 thing I know its wimmenz

Kold wrote: »

Holy sh*t, hive mind. I think we should be helpgroup buddies...

Like seriously, my advice was gonna be punch her in the face.

High 5!!! o/ \o

iPlop

Fratton Fred wrote: »

I was thinking of something less painful, although I would prefer that to letting her run wild in Dundrum with Mrs Mastercard

Then she might let you sink the banana later on!!;)

dlofnep

Deny it ever happened. The goat can't speak anyways.

Tell her you have fallen for someone else - Maddie

DanGerMus

Dump the Bitch

994

ejmaztec wrote: »

Just let her punch you in face a couple of times - never did me any harm, and a trip to the A&E probably works out cheaper. She will then feel sorry for you and you'll get extra pie (or soup through a straw).

Because domestic violence is funny?

javaboy

994 wrote: »

Because domestic violence is funny?

Indeed. No more domestic abuse "jokes" etc.

LadyE

Pink roses and oriental lillies...suh nice flowers together!

Gran Hermano

Nothing says "half-hearted apology" like whipping out the credit card and spending 5 minutes on the mobile talking to a florist.

Kinetic^

If she doesn't find it amusing that you slept with her sister, then you need to re-think whether or not this is the type of woman you want to spend the rest of your life with.

AckwelFoley

Fratton Fred wrote: »

In fact, i'm always in the ****, its really only the depth that varies.

So, I am going to have to get the old credit card out and send my good wife (No, not Yore Ma) some flowers. But what do I send?

Isn't there supposed to be a particular colour flower to send when you are sorry?

Advice please after hoursers

You pissed off the wifey?

Solution

Ride her mother
She'll forget all about what made her pissy with you this time

Toto Wolfcastle

Brillo pads.

Every woman loves Brillo pads.

abi2007

snyper wrote: »

You pissed off the wifey?

Solution

Ride her mother
She'll forget all about what made her pissy with you this time

are ya mad.. women never forget the bad stuff a guy does.. your just giving her more amo for the arguments

Appleguy

Red roses and petrol

ejmaztec

janeybabe wrote: »

Brillo pads.

Every woman loves Brillo pads.

Taking the rough with the smooth can be very painful.

dancingqueen

It's not about what you get her, it's about the effort and the thought that you put into it - book a nice table somewhere and tell her to get dressed up, have a nice meal, few bottles of vino... It'd work for me

DanGerMus

Plus one on the effort. It's so much better when you try and theme the bouquet. Try to put her favourite colour in there or her favourite flower. You can try to theme it to a room in the house that way you can say you think it will go well there. It's nice if you can tell her exactly why you picked it and it will be noticed and appreciated.

GF loves lillies and purple so i ask for purple lillies if possible or go for whites and mix it with different shades of purple seasonal flowers what ever they have.

Florists can be very helpful but if you push them in the right direction it's so much better than just asking for 50 bunch of whatevers handy.


Ah crap now you all know i've got the Ghey....!

entropi

ejmaztec wrote: »

and you'll get extra pie

I wonder if it'll be her pie or one from the cake shop?;)

MagicMarker

Buy her fake flowers and spend the rest of the money on beer and Sky Sports.