Whats the funniest/stupidest thing you've done to yourself/mate whilst drunk?

themilkyone · 13-01-2009 4:19pm #1

Suppose I should get the ball rolling...

Well this one is actually about my slightly older brother... And he more so did it to his girlfriend

So i was out for a few beers with my mates an came home rather early and noticed my brother was still out which was odd cause he has work at 8 am every morning.. anyways,i never really see my brother that drunk but this day was exceptional. He came into his room making a big clatter and clumber so i went in to check if all was ok to find him standing there in his birthday suit urinating all over his other half who was in bed..soaking her from head to toe. I tried to stop him but it was a dead end. So when he finally stopped leaking all over her he proceeded to jump inot bed but not before taking a mighty large dump on the floor just beside the bed of which he thought it would be a nice gesture to put her clothes in it.. :eek:

... At the time I thought it was pretty gross(which it was/is) but still cant help laughing about it. I dont have the heart to tell him i was standing behind him for the full show. As far as i know he thinks its a big secret

Berty · 13-01-2009 4:23pm

Tell him. Oh dear god tell him.

Record it on webcam or video for all of us to see.

Also is this a toilet thread? Ban him !!!!

Roadend · 13-01-2009 4:24pm

Did it turn you on?

syklops · 13-01-2009 4:44pm

I cant remember.

Quazzie · 13-01-2009 4:49pm

Drunk incest usually wins any thread. Ya should've kept that story till a few others told theirs.

themilkyone · 13-01-2009 5:09pm

Roadend wrote: »

Did it turn you on?

if i said yes would you think less of me??

themilkyone · 13-01-2009 5:12pm

Berty wrote: »

Tell him. Oh dear god tell him. Record it on webcam or video for all of us to see.

Well i've told my brother and sister so im just stewing now,waiting for him to really piss me off then i'll publicly broadcast it to all his friends.. and also give his girlfriend the full inside scoop...

p.s; not too sure if it belongs with a toilet thread

_feedback_ · 13-01-2009 5:16pm

themilkyone wrote: »

and also give his girlfriend the full inside scoop...

I'm sure she'd know if he pissed on her an sh*t on her clothes?!

themilkyone · 13-01-2009 5:28pm

elviscostello wrote: »

I'm sure she'd know if he pissed on her an sh*t on her clothes?!

well she didnt wake up...so she might'nt know about the urine but the pooing part of it,most definitly!

nobodythere · 13-01-2009 5:31pm

Friend of mine was at a house party, and somehow ended up going up to one of the housemates rooms and pissing in her shoes. Don't know why he told everyone

themilkyone · 13-01-2009 5:34pm

Degsy wrote: »

I rode my ma.

how was it? durrrrty lil fecker...

Fizman · 13-01-2009 5:35pm

Two girls crashed on the sofa of our place last year. While they were sleeping, I placed my balls on one girls forehead. My mate placed his dick on top of the others head. We took some photos. Good times.

Just as well they were heavy sleepers! :eek:

Degsy · 13-01-2009 5:36pm

grasshopa wrote: »

Friend of mine was at a house party, and somehow ended up going up to one of the housemates rooms and pissing in her shoes. Don't know why he told everyone

I was at a party and when this particular girl was asleep my mate whacked off into the crotch of her knickers.She wasnt wearing them at the time but i dont know what he was trying to achieve.

mp3guy · 13-01-2009 5:38pm

Fizman wrote: »

Two girls crashed on the sofa of our place last year. While they were sleeping, I placed my balls on one of the girls forehead. My mate placed his dick on the others head. We took some photos. Good times.

Just as well they were heavy sleepers! :eek:

So you and your friend took pictures of each others genitalia?

Turd Ferguson · 13-01-2009 5:41pm

mp3guy wrote: »

So you and your friend took pictures of each others genitalia?

Yeah, so? I dont think there is anything wrong with that...

Fizman · 13-01-2009 5:43pm

mp3guy wrote: »

So you and your friend took pictures of each others genitalia?

There was only one camera involved. Enough really.

spinandscribble · 13-01-2009 5:47pm

I went in a 24 hour dunnes after a wedding, all dressed up, took off my heels and put on fuzzy slippers and went up to the till and raised my foot up so they could zap the price.

An ex of mine got ridiculous drunk at a house party (all people i'd know, he'd never met them before) and rolled himself up in a blanket and crawled like a caterpillar, yelling about how much he loved me. i've never been more embarassed in my life.

themilkyone · 13-01-2009 5:48pm

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

Yeah, so? I dont think there is anything wrong with that...

...nothing particularly right with it either

Fizman · 13-01-2009 5:54pm

themilkyone wrote: »

...nothing particularly right with it either

Ah hello.....our genitalia were placed on the heads of girls!

It couldn't be more right!

:pac:

mp3guy · 13-01-2009 6:03pm

spinandscribble wrote: »

An ex of mine got ridiculous drunk at a house party (all people i'd know, he'd never met them before) and rolled himself up in a blanket and crawled like a caterpillar, yelling about how much he loved me. i've never been more embarassed in my life.

That is priceless

briantwin · 13-01-2009 6:03pm

a friend of mine got pissed at a party belonging to a load of girls from his college course. Went into the jacks and pinched a loaf,only to find there was no jacks roll so he grabbed a pair of one of the house mates knickers out of the hamper and wiped his arse with them. He's called it the perfect crime since then.

we also moved my friends tent to the main stage of life festival a couple of years ago while he was asleep inside. Here's the video of him emerging :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AccKlAWl4DM&

themilkyone · 13-01-2009 6:06pm

Fizman wrote: »

Ah hello.....our genitalia were placed on the heads of girls!

It couldn't be more right!

:pac:

touchee!

Blarney92 · 13-01-2009 6:10pm

Last summer in vancouver we stayed up one of the last nights drinking pretty heavily. Maybe fifteen cans each before we went to bed/passed out. Anyways I awoke the next morning to see one of the lads standing in front of our chest of drawers pissing into the second drawer full of my mates clothes. I began to shout at him and eventually my friend woke and asked him what the F**K he was doing.

Eventually he turns around and goes "I genuinely don't understand what all the confusion is about- isn't this the drawer we always piss in?????"

He finishes up and goes back to his room for another six hours of sleep and when he wakes up he remembers nothing.

Professey Chin · 13-01-2009 6:13pm

Filthy things with my ex in front of my friends who were single just to basically taunt them.
Alcohol made it seem funny at the time.
Now I'm the single one.
Paybacks a bitch.:mad:

themilkyone · 13-01-2009 6:18pm

these are all fairly mild stories.. funny as FOOK none the less though!!

I thought i'd hear some real weird/horrid stuff

Professey Chin · 13-01-2009 6:24pm

themilkyone wrote: »

these are all fairly mild stories.. funny as FOOK none the less though!!

I thought i'd hear some real weird/horrid stuff

I also raped a goat while wearing a tutu and now have the highest viewed and rated fetish video link on a very exclusive site.

HAPPY NOW!!!!:pac:

themilkyone · 13-01-2009 6:27pm

VERY!

Blarney92 · 13-01-2009 6:30pm

After this years commerce ball one of the lads got a taxi back to his house on college road and as usual legged it from the taxi without paying. Anyways he gets to his door to find it locked.

He sees the wheely bin next to the window and thinking the taxi man is approaching climbs on top off it and jumps through the window onto the tv in his front room.

Not only does he smash all the glass he destroys the tv and severs one of the ligaments in his knee. He has to get an ambulance to CUH and his father is called down from Tipp because he has to spend 4 nights in hospital.

Not the stupidest thing he's done but definitely the most painful!!!

Professey Chin · 13-01-2009 6:33pm

Blarney92 wrote: »

After this years commerce ball one of the lads got a taxi back to his house on college road and as usual legged it from the taxi without paying. Anyways he gets to his door to find it locked.

He sees the wheely bin next to the window and thinking the taxi man is approaching climbs on top off it and jumps through the window onto the tv in his front room.

Not only does he smash all the glass he destroys the tv and severs one of the ligaments in his knee. He has to get an ambulance to CUH and his father is called down from Tipp because he has to spend 4 nights in hospital.

Not the stupidest thing he's done but definitely the most painful!!!

If thats not the stupidest I think we are well within our rights to call him a fcuking idiot:pac:

themilkyone · 13-01-2009 6:41pm

cheap commerce students...

Turd Ferguson · 13-01-2009 6:45pm

Fizman wrote: »

Ah hello.....our genitalia were placed on the heads of girls!

It couldn't be more right!

Yeah, like some sort of half breed/genital head unicorn!

Quazzie · 13-01-2009 6:55pm

themilkyone wrote: »

well she didnt wake up...so she might'nt know about the urine but the pooing part of it,most definitly!

I'm confused.

She didn't wake up when he was pissing on here, so she doesn't know he pissed on her. Is she used to waking up covered in piss in a damp pissy bed???

themilkyone · 13-01-2009 7:08pm

Quazzie2002 wrote: »

I'm confused. She didn't wake up when he was pissing on here, so she doesn't know he pissed on her. Is she used to waking up covered in piss in a damp pissy bed???

Not too sure on that,I'd hope not.. well they might have an odd relationship like that. maybe she was awake and just didnt say anything coz maybe she's into those golden showers and stuff alike..

Professey Chin · 13-01-2009 7:10pm

themilkyone wrote: »

Not too sure on that,I'd hope not.. well they might have an odd relationship like that. maybe she was awake and just didnt say anything coz maybe she's into those golden showers and stuff alike..

Yeah that could be true.Disgusting.....................anyone have her number?

Vain · 13-01-2009 7:12pm

Was a a friends flat he was drinking away and he fell asleep, so out to the car i went and got my cable ties and cable tied his hands and legs to the chair got the page 3 out of the sun squirted white body wash all over the naked ladys bits and placed the page on his lap and also squirted more body wash on his pants for good measure. Then i took a pic and went home to leave his flat mate come home to see him all wa#ked out:D

Am i evil?:P

Professey Chin · 13-01-2009 7:14pm

Vain wrote: »

Was a a friends flat he was drinking away and he fell asleep, so out to the car i went and got my cable ties and cable tied his hands and legs to the chair got the page 3 out of the sun squirted white body wash all over the naked ladys bits and placed the page on his lap and also squirted more body wash on his pants for good measure. Then i took a pic and went home to leave his flat mate come home to see him all wa#ked out:D

Am i evil?:P

Yes you are.....an EVIL GENIUS!!!!:cool::D

Fizman · 13-01-2009 7:14pm

By far and away THE most stupidest thing I did on a night out was break into a construction site and climb a very big crane. About 3am one friday night. The site where the Marriott Hotel is now in Limerick city. Got to bout 70% of the way up and could hear my mates roarin at me to get down.

Vain · 13-01-2009 7:18pm

Fizman wrote: »

By far and away THE most stupidest thing I did on a night out was break into a construction site and climb a very big crane. About 3am one friday night. The site where the Marriott Hotel is now in Limerick city. Got to bout 70% of the way up and could hear my mates roarin at me to get down.

I know a guy would had to stop drinking because every time he drank he was doing crazy stuff like that:D

Quazzie · 13-01-2009 7:24pm

A guy fell asleep in the local one day and he was cable tied to the high stool with and carried out to the green in front of the pub. He was there for an hour with cars going past beeping their horns at him. Was extremely funny at the time

themilkyone · 13-01-2009 7:45pm

Vain wrote: »

Was a a friends flat he was drinking away and he fell asleep, so out to the car i went and got my cable ties and cable tied his hands and legs to the chair got the page 3 out of the sun squirted white body wash all over the naked ladys bits and placed the page on his lap and also squirted more body wash on his pants for good measure. Then i took a pic and went home to leave his flat mate come home to see him all wa#ked out:D

Am i evil?:P

No evil just pure GENIUS!! Tres impressed with that one..

likely_lass · 13-01-2009 8:24pm

Am i the only girl here who is now terrfiied to go to sleep at a party, now all i can do is hope some retard didnt put his dirty penis on my face

Kold · 13-01-2009 8:25pm

Took drugs offered to me by a stranger in the street. Thought it was charlie, turned out to be ket. Was pretty funny tbh.

Fizman · 13-01-2009 8:28pm

likely_lass wrote: »

Am i the only girl here who is now terrfiied to go to sleep at a party, now all i can do is hope some retard didnt put his dirty penis on my face

Rug munch much? :pac:

Professey Chin · 13-01-2009 8:35pm

likely_lass wrote: »

Am i the only girl here who is now terrfiied to go to sleep at a party, now all i can do is hope some retard didnt put his dirty penis on my face

If thats all your worried about you have much to learn

davyjose · 13-01-2009 8:38pm

likely_lass wrote: »

Am i the only girl here who is now terrfiied to go to sleep at a party, now all i can do is hope some retard didnt put his dirty penis on my face

The upside is, he mightn't have been retarded.

likely_lass · 13-01-2009 8:43pm

Fizman wrote: »

Rug munch much? :pac:

Oh your so right i must be a lezzer if i dont want men putting their genitalia on my head while i sleep

its obviously every girls dream

consultech · 13-01-2009 8:44pm

A mate of mine ordered 7 of the same laptop and 3 flights to Thailand on his dad's credit card a few years back while on pills. He used his dad's email address, which doesn't get checked very often. He only found out about it when the laptops arrived. His dad called the credit card company n all n reported card details stolen n all when it was maxed out.

Could they return it all? Nope! Everything sold on/name changed for €2k less.

themilkyone · 13-01-2009 8:45pm

davyjose wrote: »

The upside is, he mightn't have been retarded.

I'm not so sure thats an upside..

frag420 · 13-01-2009 8:46pm

on a few nights after returning from the club in a state myself and the usual crew would crack open the brewskies and try and keep momentum going till it was time for breakfast rolls. As per usual one of our mates always fell asleep. Now when this guy falls asleep he cannot be awoken which to us is open season on him. This guy is freakingly skinny and when he curls up on the armchair his baggie jeans usually are wrapped halfway down his ass. So hear is our top three.......

1)We would grab as much chocolate as possible(mars,bounty, caramel etc) and sick it down the back of his boxers leaving it to melt.

2)Another time we got a condom and put some shampoo in it and stuck a pencil in it. Slid the condom/pencil between the cheeks if his ass and pull the pencil out leaving this jipp filled johnny hanging from his ass.

3)Lastly we would save the skin from the chicken snack boxes and when he was out of it we would stick it to his face with one big slap. The noise alone would wake the average drunken bum but not this guy.

Ya snooze ya lose!!

TestTransmission · 13-01-2009 8:52pm

Fizman wrote: »

Two girls crashed on the sofa of our place last year. While they were sleeping, I placed my balls on one girls forehead. My mate placed his dick on top of the others head. We took some photos. Good times.

Just as well they were heavy sleepers! :eek:

PICS or GTFO

Heisenberg. · 13-01-2009 8:52pm

This post has been deleted.

Whats the funniest/stupidest thing you've done to yourself/mate whilst drunk?

Comments