What is the funniest / worst way you've dumped someone, or been dumped?

sassa

The worst was when i text my bf at the time saying
"if you are reading this message you are now my ex"
He knew it was coming for a while and refused to meet me in person or talk on the phone to avoid it happening so had to do it by text so entirely his fault!:P

tribulus

Murder, they're technically still dumped right?

javaboy

If you want to get many replies from people who post on the internet at nearly 4 in the morning, can I suggest changing the title to "What is the funniest / worst way you've dumped someone or been dumped?"

sassa

tribulus wrote: »

Murder, they're technically still dumped right?

well you have to dump the body so i guess that would count.

ottostreet

met up with someone once who...didnt appeal to me, shall we say. so i pretended to receive a phone call from my dad saying my mother had had a heart attack and to come home immediately. a friend of mine was in dublin as well, since we were on one of our excursions to abbey discs. we pretended to make loads of phone calls organising a lift home, saw her onto a train home, all the time "getting phone calls updating her condition", and then we went shopping.

only been dumped once. wasnt a good one. it was on her birthday and she waited til the end of the night and she got all her presents and after i was good and drunk. dumped me then, when i was too drunk to drive home, and had to stay in her flat. a great night!

ShaneU

Tell them you're gay, or they turned you gay, works like a charm.

SV

ottostreet wrote: »

met up with someone once who...didnt appeal to me, shall we say. so i pretended to receive a phone call from my dad saying my mother had had a heart attack and to come home immediately. a friend of mine was in dublin as well, since we were on one of our excursions to abbey discs. we pretended to make loads of phone calls organising a lift home, saw her onto a train home, all the time "getting phone calls updating her condition", and then we went shopping.

only been dumped once. wasnt a good one. it was on her birthday and she waited til the end of the night and she got all her presents and after i was good and drunk. dumped me then, when i was too drunk to drive home, and had to stay in her flat. a great night!

to the first one..you're a cruel cruel man.
to the second one..well I thought it was a savage night :P

Senna

I'd love to dump a girl with complete honesty, really air out ever problem i have about her. "i'm sorry X, i just dont want to be with you anymore, it's not me, it's you, your the most selfish, two faced, irritating, worse BJ giver etc etc"

Professey Chin

Got dumped by text message before while dyin sick.Hadnt eaten or drank anything in a couple days & was pretty out of it & delerious.That was the mon or tues i think.
Was much better by friday, got a text from her sayin she made a stupid mistake and was really missing me.I didnt have a clue what was goin on.

Oh and yes I took her back since in my mind we never broke up:o

ottostreet

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

Got dumped by text message before while dyin sick.Hadnt eaten or drank anything in a couple days & was pretty out of it & delerious.That was the mon or tues i think.
Was much better by friday, got a text from her sayin she made a stupid mistake and was really missing me.I didnt have a clue what was goin on.

Oh and yes I took her back since in my mind we never broke up:o

lol thats brilliant.

seanybiker

Was in the pub with me x and a few of the lads. Night was finished so me x brought one of the lads home in her car,50 foot (seriously) away from the pub ha ha. I waved goodbye to the rest and walked up to get me lift off her. Seen the two of em in the car mugging the face off each other. I accidentally bumped into the car(been drunk and all)he hopped outta car and ran into house. I got a lift home off her and we both went into me house. Me mother was sitting there and asked us did we have a good night. We both said yeah then I said I seen her go off with baldy in the car. She said i must have been drunk and only thought I seen it. Told her all I wanted was a lift home, now fook off outta me house ya stupid slapper, and oh by the way I did ride (insert name) a while back and it was good. Mother tried to calm me down I said jaysus I'm grand just get her to fook off cos I'm off to check me emails. Was funny seen the face on her he he. After 7 and a half years all i wanted was a lift home he he.

Smyth

seanybiker wrote: »

Was in the pub with me x and a few of the lads. Night was finished so me x brought one of the lads home in her car,50 foot (seriously) away from the pub ha ha. I waved goodbye to the rest and walked up to get me lift off her. Seen the two of em in the car mugging the face off each other. I accidentally bumped into the car(been drunk and all)he hopped outta car and ran into house. I got a lift home off her and we both went into me house. Me mother was sitting there and asked us did we have a good night. We both said yeah then I said I seen her go off with baldy in the car. She said i must have been drunk and only thought I seen it. Told her all I wanted was a lift home, now fook off outta me house ya stupid slapper, and oh by the way I did ride (insert name) a while back and it was good. Mother tried to calm me down I said jaysus I'm grand just get her to fook off cos I'm off to check me emails. Was funny seen the face on her he he. After 7 and a half years all i wanted was a lift home he he.

my, my :rolleyes:

pseudonym1

I .... sorry still can't talk about it

ottostreet

ClioV6 wrote: »

to the first one..you're a cruel cruel man.
to the second one..well I thought it was a savage night :P

hope neither of them are on this site! *goes off to check usernames*

homerun_homer

"Dear (insert name), Welcome to Dumpsville. Population... You".

Classic.

I've not used it.

Quazzie

Back when I was in secondary school I was with a girl who I thought was my first real proper gf. After about two weeks I was in an accident and was hospitalized for about a month. During my second week, whilst still in ICU i got a delivery of about 20 letters all from people in my Irish class, they had gotten an assignement to write me a get well letter as Gaeilge. As I read through them I came across my gfs, perfectly written, perfectly spelt, I imagine she got an A for it. About four letters later I read one from one of the lads in the class and at the bottom it read

Ta Anna ar boyfriend nua, ta tu dumped

I thought that was quiet a funny way to get dumped.

Tupins

When I was about 11/12 I was 'going' with this guy for all of one day. We went to the shop and he bought me a creme egg which cost 30p (v expensive at the time).

Anyway by about 4pm I had decided that my heart wasn't in the relationship so I broke it off with him. He didn't take it well and asked me for the 30p back!

Still laugh about it now

Irishcrx

Was going out with a girl for a while, she wouldn't put out at all and then she broke her foot and all I heard all week was "Ouch my foot this and that" being young and unable for such aggravation and nonsence in my ears, plus with the foot out no chance of getting laid I decided a dumping was needed. So rather than tell her I took the train home after band practise leaving her their with the lads but had put 4 banners up in the room saying in order of each "You - Got - Dumped - Bitch". Thought it was pretty funny at the time....

Later that night she shagged my mate.

Sleipnir

Irishcrx wrote: »

Was going out with a girl for a while, she wouldn't put out at all and then she broke her foot and all I heard all week was "Ouch my foot this and that" being young and unable for such aggravation and nonsence in my ears, plus with the foot out no chance of getting laid I decided a dumping was needed. So rather than tell her I took the train home after band practise leaving her their with the lads but had put 4 banners up in the room saying in order of each "You - Got - Dumped - Bitch". Thought it was pretty funny at the time....

Later that night she shagged my mate.

So...she put out for your mate anyway? In spite of a broken foot? Ouch....(for you I mean, not her broken foot)

beertons

Funniest/worst : I slept with her sister.

Hellm0

I have been dumped several times, my favorite is the reversal; Once they dump you convince them to give it one more try, then sleep with them. Afterward dump THEM and profit shall be made.

I once broke up with a girl on new years, right before the clock struck 12. Skank did cheat on me though so I was fully justified.

themilkyone

homerun_homer wrote: »

"Dear (insert name), Welscome to Dumpsville. Population... You".

Classic.

I've not used it.

had the pleasure of using this one when i was about 13/14..

..i thought it went down pretty well

Saint_Mel

Being Dumped:
1. Was seeing a girl for a while, not officially going out but anyway we were out on a Saturday and while in the niteclub we got seperated. Thought nothing of it as I had other friends there and so did she. So anyway, I went out for a smoke and there she was sucking the face off some other fella!
Never actually spoke to her after that but I took it as being dumped

2. In college, I was going out with a girl on and off for a few months. She then declared that she wasnt really ready for a long term relationship so she broke up with me.The following week she moved in with another bloke, who I knew, that she had apparently been seeing behind my back.
Got preggers soon after and dropped out of college, and the father done a legger. She ended up working flippin burgers for a while. Couldnt resist putting the grudge boot in when drunk and often seen her working away while I was on the lash, I'd drop in and ask her did she think it was odd that her life turned to shít after she dumped me.

Dumping Someone: Way back in the college years, had quite a few drunken fumbles with a girl from some course or other. Anyway, it got to the stage where we were either going to be a couple or not. I didnt like her enough to make that kind of committment so we were out one night when she landed had "the make or break" talk on me. I told her that she wasnt really my type. Furious she demanded to know what my type was ... so I just said "Pretty girls" ... and walked away.

Felt like a right shít when I sobered up the next day, but wouldnt have been fair to lead her on.

Chardee MacDennis

if i can dump someone this way before i die it would be awesome!

step forward everyone that has a boyfriend - ah not so fast you...

she'd have to be a biatch though....

Fizman

Saint_Mel wrote: »

Being Dumped: 2. In college, I was going out with a girl on and off for a few months. She then declared that she wasnt really ready for a long term relationship so she broke up with me.The following week she moved in with another bloke, who I knew, that she had apparently been seeing behind my back.
Got preggers soon after and dropped out of college, and the father done a legger. She ended up working flippin burgers for a while. Couldnt resist putting the grudge boot in when drunk and often seen her working away while I was on the lash, I'd drop in and ask her did she think it was odd that her life turned to shít after she dumped me.

Next time you see her, ask her for a McKarma burger. Lots of them. :pac: