The older man....

Madame Razz

In response to the 'Toy boys' thread...

Any of you Ladies like the older man*?? And why? Or why not?

Explain......



**Personally I lurrrrrrrve them older(within reason of course!);)

RacoonQueen

Always, always, always. Much prefer the older man.

RxQueen

went out with an older guy before , 10-11 years in the difference ,lovely guy but the age thing got to me in the end, he spent a lot of his time with me doing the *facepalm* when i was with him!, then im not the most mature person i guess.. prefer nearer to my age

shellyboo

I definitely prefer older men, preferably in and around the 29-30 mark. I'm 25, so it's not that much of a leap, but I just find I relate better to guys that age. I find them more straightforward, more settled, and more in tune with what they want than your average 25 year old - who, in my experience, are perpetually afraid of a big scary relationship coming along and ruining their fun. Ooh, I sound awful bitter! Basically, I find dating older men easier... less hassle, less headwreck, and more fun. Oh... and they're better in bed, too!

dolliemix

shellyboo wrote: »

I definitely prefer older men, preferably in and around the 29-30 mark. I'm 25, so it's not that much of a leap, but I just find I relate better to guys that age. I find them more straightforward, more settled, and more in tune with what they want than your average 25 year old - who, in my experience, are perpetually afraid of a big scary relationship coming along and ruining their fun. Ooh, I sound awful bitter! Basically, I find dating older men easier... less hassle, less headwreck, and more fun. Oh... and they're better in bed, too!

Ha! I really wouldn't put 25-30 in the older man category. When I read this thread I was thinking more along the lines of George Clooney, Jose Mourinho, Sean Connery - Yes , Yes and Yes

Rabies

I've noticed that as I get older the girls I'm seeing are usually younger.
Last girlfriend was 24, I'm 28. Previous to that was 20 and I was 26. Now I'm nearly 29 and the new girl I'm kinda dating is 20.

shellyboo

dolliemix wrote: »

Ha! I really wouldn't put 25-30 in the older man category. When I read this thread I was thinking more along the lines of George Clooney, Jose Mourinho, Sean Connery - Yes , Yes and Yes

well, um... they're older than me... so they're in the older man category.

Madame Razz

shellyboo wrote: »

I definitely prefer older men, preferably in and around the 29-30 mark. I'm 25, so it's not that much of a leap, but I just find I relate better to guys that age. I find them more straightforward, more settled, and more in tune with what they want than your average 25 year old - who, in my experience, are perpetually afraid of a big scary relationship coming along and ruining their fun. Ooh, I sound awful bitter! Basically, I find dating older men easier... less hassle, less headwreck, and more fun. Oh... and they're better in bed, too![/quote]

29-30 is still a young 'un in my book:eek:


I completely agree with your last statement though.... Some of my friends think my penchant for men in their thirties+ is a little weird........at statements like this I smile my secret smile and politely inform them that they really have no idea of what they're are missing out on;)....It's a confidence thing moreso than a skill thing though....

And they are generally easier and more fun to date, though you cna encounter the occassional HEADWRECK who is INFINATELY worse than any man in his twenties......It's a sort of evolved headwreckingness too, which makes you very aware of why this man is single at 40(AHEM:mad::eek:)

For his sins he inspired the worst dates thread so it didn't all end so badly:rolleyes:

SarahSassy

Absolutely. My OH is almost 9 years older than me and I love it cos he has his sh1t together.. He handles the relationship maturely, knows what he likes and doesnt like and knows how to treat a lady...

He maintains, when he was younger his age belied his maturity by about 10 years i.e. when he was 30 he was still acting 20 and for this reason we act about the same age now :D

Madame Razz

Although some older men can just be too old.

I dated a 43 year old who was old and sensible in a radio one listening slippers wearing kind of way.....terribly sweet man and treated me EXCEPTIONALLY well, but just too boring for my liking.

Tis all about the life perspective I guess; I suspect the man mentioned above would have been equally as dull had he been 33:rolleyes:

G86

I've always gone for older guys, my first long term relationship was with a guy 7 years older when I was 16, and it lasted a few years. I've kind of been on/off single in the past year but most guys I've dated have been at least 2 years older. The thing in Dublin is that alot of younger guys seem to live at home and aren't very independent, that kind of puts me off a bit to be honest because we would have very little in common. It boils down to maturity more than anything.

That said, been seeing a guy a bit lately who's only turning 21 now in 2 weeks, so I may have to change my opinion:pac::p

Soodlebum

Hey folks. Maybe I am too old to be on this site.....48!! (maybe I'm too old to be on the feckin computer). Anyway - a year and a half ago, I found myself suddenly single. (The fecker I had spent the last 25 years with did a runner - to Bangkok - say no more!!!) An admirer showed up (literally - on my doorstep last Valentines Day - with flowers, chocolates and perfume). As I say, I'm 48. He is 71. A widower. Perfect gentleman - was a complete culture shock to me. But................. the age gap was too much for me to get over! My kids are 14,17 & 18. They were horrified. I think if he was Colin Firth, (yum yum), they would have been horrified, but they used the huge age gap as a reason to be horrified. I ended the relationship with the 'coffin dodger' - (to quote my kids) because of their opposition, and ever since, I am wondering.........
Your views, observations, comments would be hugely appreciated. BTW - I didn't fancy him!! But I really loved the attention. Jaysus. I'm a mess!!!! Answers on a postcard, please..............

SarahSassy

Soodlebum wrote: »

BTW - I didn't fancy him!! But I really loved the attention.

Ok well for this reason alone you did the right thing. Even a 'coffin dodger' deserves to be in a relationship with someone for all the right reasons....

Bijoux

I've always been interested in the concept of seeing an older man.....I'm 19, oldest I've been with is 24, but from my experience, guys around my age bore me after a while, a lot of them are very naiive and a few of them were unbelievably clingy and possessive, and emotionally immature. Obviously not all guys my age are like that, but I always seem to run into them...thats the main reason the older man thing appeals to be tbh.


Also, the whole suave charming stereotype is great....and a big +1 on Clooney

Madame Razz

Soodlebum wrote: »

Hey folks. Maybe I am too old to be on this site.....48!! (maybe I'm too old to be on the feckin computer). Anyway - a year and a half ago, I found myself suddenly single. (The fecker I had spent the last 25 years with did a runner - to Bangkok - say no more!!!) An admirer showed up (literally - on my doorstep last Valentines Day - with flowers, chocolates and perfume). As I say, I'm 48. He is 71. A widower. Perfect gentleman - was a complete culture shock to me. But................. the age gap was too much for me to get over! My kids are 14,17 & 18. They were horrified. I think if he was Colin Firth, (yum yum), they would have been horrified, but they used the huge age gap as a reason to be horrified. I ended the relationship with the 'coffin dodger' - (to quote my kids) because of their opposition, and ever since, I am wondering.........
Your views, observations, comments would be hugely appreciated. BTW - I didn't fancy him!! But I really loved the attention. Jaysus. I'm a mess!!!! Answers on a postcard, please..............

Well to be honest, age difference or no age difference I think your answer is in the above statement....attention or no attention, if you weren't attracted to him initially the changes are the whole thing would have fizzled out of it's own acccord anyway...never settle lady!!!

mollybird

when i was 20 i dated a guy twice my age for 18 months. i really cared about him but he was never into the stuff i was with my mates and that. ended up cheating on him lots and got caught. he understood funnily enough and we remained good friends.

Snowie

Rabies wrote: »

I've noticed that as I get older the girls I'm seeing are usually younger.
Last girlfriend was 24, I'm 28. Previous to that was 20 and I was 26. Now I'm nearly 29 and the new girl I'm kinda dating is 20.

:eek:

dude I know exactly what you mean.... and looking back im the same, a year younger, thats weird

Wibbs

Madame Razz wrote: »

Tis all about the life perspective I guess; I suspect the man mentioned above would have been equally as dull had he been 33:rolleyes:

That I would agree with. I look around at my mates and the ones who are the "youngest" in attitude are actually of no real age as such. They never were. they were never the stereotypical 18/20/30/35 year old. They were just them. They look the youngest by far too. The rest are either guys trying to relive or desperately miss an age in their life were they felt "right". Some are now happy to be oul fellas because they always were oul fellas. I've noted women are not nearly as prone to this for some reason. They may be twitchy and self conscious about physical aspects of aging more than men, but mentally they don't seem as conscious at all.

MJOR

Traditionally i always went for the older man..... had a few BF's eight or more years older than me. My OH is now two years older than me and i prefer it that way. The first older guy( had a willy like a chicken nugget some of you know the story) I went out with was 10 years older and in the end it was like I was more mature than him.

SarahSassy

MJOR wrote: »

had a willy like a chicken nugget

Not a good picture in my head right now....

MJOR

SarahSassy wrote: »

Not a good picture in my head right now....

lol! Not good in the flesh either SS!!! A nice guy...

SarahSassy

MJOR wrote: »

A nice guy...

No amount of nice can compensate for that though

MJOR

SarahSassy wrote: »

No amount of nice can compensate for that though

yeah you're right..... he is getting married this year so i guess someone likes her mcnuggetts!! lol:D

SarahSassy

MJOR wrote: »

yeah you're right..... he is getting married this year so i guess someone likes her mcnuggetts!! lol:D

And this brings us back to the thread on 'desperate' women....

tismenotyou

oh yes older men for me please !!
not too old mind lol..
they just know the score ..
no jelousy (ime) no sh*te talk no crap
and omg in the sack .. haha
cant stand blokes my age never could ?
my other half is 9 years older
wouldn`t ave it any other way ....;)

banshee_bones

yep a bit older for the maturity aspect, they really seem to know their stuff, re:life experinec etc... more inclined to call a spade a spade i.e if they liked you they would tell you, none of this sitting on the fence craic..

only thing iv thought about would be just that a guy whos 28 would be looking *maybe*?? to settle down at that age? and me being 22, well i have still to do my masters and travelling and well basically growing up to do! so as much as id like to see an older guy, i wouldnt want to waste his time if ya get me?

Another thing and i may be a bit crude here but older guys out there must be flattered at all us young hotties pining after them!!! they must be like...

"Whoa! class! iv got a hot young wan whos into me!!

Zaph

banshee_bones wrote: »

Another thing and i may be a bit crude here but older guys out there must be flattered at all us young hotties pining after them!!! they must be like...

"Whoa! class! iv got a hot young wan whos into me!!

Well I would be if I knew where I could find myself one of these young hotties.

banshee_bones

were everywhere!


just look at this thread!!! LOL!!!!

Futurecrook

I went out for drinks with a guy who was nine years older than me. We got on great but I felt so young and inexperienced by comparison. As some of the other posters have said, it felt a bit that, at 29 and with a good job and a far better idea of where his life was heading, he was almost ready to settle down. Whereas I'm only twenty and still in college. He was a gentleman though. At the end of the night he invited me back to his. I politely declined and so he kissed me on the cheek and put me in a taxi. And rang me to make sure I got home ok. Although, it did give me the feeling he was babying me which further put me off the idea of seeing him again... :P

I do find myself attracted to older men though. Seán Connery, Pierce Brosnan and Bruce Willis. Yes please.

Snowie

this thread is insitive.....

pow wow

Hmmm older ftw. I went out with a MUCH older guy for a good while when I was around 20 and had the best times with him. He had just gotten divorced so was into having fun and doing crazy things (trying to recapture the lost years I think...).

Now that I am feeling the years creep up on me I have a certain fondness for younger men (trying to recapture my lost years perhaps ) but I don't think there's any potential in it because we're usually going in different directions.
[/]sweeping generalisation

I feel like having been 'around the block' so to speak I am just too jaded to handle the drama that can come with younger fellas. They're lovely though. :P

Wibbs

banshee_bones wrote: »

Another thing and i may be a bit crude here but older guys out there must be flattered at all us young hotties pining after them!!! they must be like...

"Whoa! class! iv got a hot young wan whos into me!!

There is defo something to it. If I could get a time machine and grab my 25 year old self and we both went to a house party or somesuch, if we both liked the same say 25 year old woman, then he may as well get his coat in most cases. I suppose its the confidence that comes with age. You certainly know way more about yourself emotionally as a guy over say 35 than you did at 25. That would appeal too.

Nevyn

It's an odd one tbh, certainly before my mid 20s it was older more intresting men that I was interested in but the older I got the older they got and a lot ( with some notable exceptions yeah so shrrrup wibbs and zaph ) of what would be single men who are 7 years plus older then me are either out of train wrecks of long term relationships or are the can't really fend for themselves bachelor types with a range of 'issues' and not as intresting or open minded or mentally agile ( or physically so ) then younger guys but well then younger guys have their own issues too, which really would be the other thread

Zzippy

I've dated women who were everything from 3/4 years older to 9 years younger, and can't say I have a definite preference - it depends totally on the person, I'm more attracted to personality and looks than anything to do with age or maturity. Having said that, I'm told I look a lot younger than I am, so maybe thats why I haven't gone out with as many women who were older/around my age.
Current gf is 9 years younger, biggest age gap I've had, but I can't say she is less mature than anyone else I've dated. It is nice having a gorgeous young one into you though!!

Madame Razz

Zzippy wrote: »

It is nice having a gorgeous young one into you though!!

That's what himself reckons also...LOL;)

Madame Razz

Thaedydal wrote: »

It's an odd one tbh, certainly before my mid 20s it was older more intresting men that I was interested in but the older I got the older they got and a lot ( with some notable exceptions yeah so shrrrup wibbs and zaph ) of what would be single men who are 7 years plus older then me are either out of train wrecks of long term relationships or are the can't really fend for themselves bachelor types with a range of 'issues' and not as intresting or open minded or mentally agile ( or physically so ) then younger guys but well then younger guys have their own issues too, which really would be the other thread

+1.... the trainwreck types, older or younger(the older ones have a certain brand of bitterness about them) must be avoided at all costs.

The boring bastards need to be avoided too; unless you want to die a slow painful monotonous death....yaaaaawwwwwwwn....

*shudder*

Nevyn

Madame Razz wrote: »

+1.... the trainwreck types, older or younger(the older ones have a certain brand of bitterness about them) must be avoided at all costs.

The boring bastards need to be avoided too; unless you want to die a slow painful monotonous death....yaaaaawwwwwwwn....

*shudder*

or find yourself being judged pretty much for damn near everything you do. :rolleyes:

Madame Razz

Thaedydal wrote: »

or find yourself being judged pretty much for damn near everything you do. :rolleyes:

Or have done in the past:rolleyes:

cos they're Mr Peter perfect on their Peter perfect pedestal in their Peter perfect life:rolleyes:

Which obviously explains why they're single....;)

ellieh1

My current boyfriend is quite a lot older than me 10+ years, but I have to say that I have never been in a more loving relationship before. The age difference is no big deal for either of us, and I wouldnt change him for the world...so in my opinion "The Older Man".........love him LOL!!!!

Nevyn

Madame Razz wrote: »

Or have done in the past:rolleyes:

cos they're Mr Peter perfect on their Peter perfect pedestal in their Peter perfect life:rolleyes:

Which obviously explains why they're single....;)

And no one will ever love and respect them they way their Mammy does...
or the ex that got away that reminded them of their Mammy.

Madame Razz

Thaedydal wrote: »

And no one will ever love and respect them they way their Mammy does...
or the ex that got away that reminded them of their Mammy.

The perfect ex you mean!! The oh so perfect ex of Peter perfect with whom you will never compare........

Dear lord it's bringing back some horrible memories.....I'm glad that I got away to be honest...

Nevyn

Madame Razz wrote: »

The perfect ex you mean!! The oh so perfect ex of Peter perfect with whom you will never compare........

Dear lord it's bringing back some horrible memories.....I'm glad that I got away to be honest...

There are ways to stop those flash backs, sing " I am what I am" helps

homerun_homer

I’ve always had a habit of getting with younger girls than me. I’ve gone out with a few people in and around my age but definitely more younger. Don’t know why that is, I can’t put my finger on it.

banshee_bones wrote: »

only thing iv thought about would be just that a guy whos 28 would be looking *maybe*?? to settle down at that age? and me being 22, well i have still to do my masters and travelling and well basically growing up to do! so as much as id like to see an older guy, i wouldnt want to waste his time if ya get me?

I definitely wouldn't judge everyone like that. I'm 27 and am no way looking at anyone I meet as potential to settle down. I think that has been a problem with some girls I've liked, they haven't said it but I get an inkling that they get cold feet because of the small age gap. I'm hardly ancient and I don't think I look it, the last girl I dated thought I was 21 when she met me.

metaoblivia

Older men are okay. As much flack as older single women get for being desperate or having baggage, I'd say there are older men with similar issues (not all older guys, just some).
Before last week, I had casually dated a guy who was 11 years older than me. He's a sweet guy, but a complete committment phobe. He's never had a relationship longer than 6 months.
Last week, I went out with a guy who's about 13-14 years older than me and he was the complete opposite. On the second date, he was planning summer trips for us to take. He's very keen on being in a committed relationship, which puts me off as it makes me think he just wants to be in a relationship without putting much thought into who he's in a relationship with, if that makes sense.

holdmyhand?

I have always gone out with guys at least 4 years older... guys my own age just don't seem to have the 'cop on' although saying there are a few 24 -29 year olds out there that belong back in 6th year

AnnieB82

If I had to go one way or the other, I would definitely go for an older man. I used to always fancy guys in their late 30s/ 40s since I was a teenager. I'm just not attracted to guys with boyish/babyface looks. I ended up with a guy 1 and a half years older than me in the end...

nomorebadtown

does the older man still appeal when the younger women has dreams of wedding, kids etc admittedly the older man may already have the house sorted and mortgage halved but do you want the father of your kids to be much older than yourself? Do you want to be 50 with a gummy 70 year old for a husband? i can definitly see the advantages of the older man but it doesnt seem like 'the long term game plan' to me. am i totally wrong? as a guy who has occasionally attended gym and public swimming pool locker rooms i can tell you that old man ass is nasty.

Madame Razz

nomorebadtown wrote: »

does the older man still appeal when the younger women has dreams of wedding, kids etc admittedly the older man may already have the house sorted and mortgage halved but do you want the father of your kids to be much older than yourself? Do you want to be 50 with a gummy 70 year old for a husband? i can definitly see the advantages of the older man but it doesnt seem like 'the long term game plan' to me. am i totally wrong? as a guy who has occasionally attended gym and public swimming pool locker rooms i can tell you that old man ass is nasty.

I guess this is dependant on the individual relationship really and the age of the people involved.

But from a practical point of view anything up to 15 years wouldn't really carry any issue??

allabouteve

nomorebadtown wrote: »

does the older man still appeal when the younger women has dreams of wedding, kids etc admittedly the older man may already have the house sorted and mortgage halved but do you want the father of your kids to be much older than yourself? Do you want to be 50 with a gummy 70 year old for a husband? i can definitly see the advantages of the older man but it doesnt seem like 'the long term game plan' to me. am i totally wrong? as a guy who has occasionally attended gym and public swimming pool locker rooms i can tell you that old man ass is nasty.

I just posted something similar in the ''Toyboy'' thread about this. The fact is, older men are fun in your twenties and thirties, but you don't want to be wiping his ass in his seventies when you're still young(ish) and sexual woman.

Good learning experience, but the very big age gaps are best avoided if your looking long term. Anything up to 12 years is fine by me, over that, forget it.

twentysomething

My OH is nearly 17 years older than me, and i certainly wouldn't have it any other way. Most of the time we wouldn't even notice the difference, except that he's travelled a few more places than i have, although i'm working hard on catching up!
But seriously, we have alot in common and get on much better that anyone else i've gone out with, plus he doesnt look anywhere near his age!