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Hell or Heaven

  • 04-01-2009 09:46AM
    #1
    coldfire1x
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,357 ✭✭✭


    An engineer dies and reports to the heaven. Recorder checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer. You are in the wrong place."

    So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

    One day, God calls up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

    Reply comes, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

    God replies, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake. He should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

    Hell replies, "No way." I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

    God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

    Hell laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"


    Killing Flies

    A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.

    "What are you doing?" she asked.

    "Hunting flies," He responded.

    "Oh, killing any?" She asked.

    "Yep, three males, two females," he replied.

    Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?

    He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."


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